Lucy is a godsend. Always has been. Has worked around my schedule since Noah was a baby. Has always been available for late night calls, for sleepovers, for early mornings. I, we, Noah and I, have been blessed with her. Really blessed with her.

But some days, like today, she has an emergency. Her mother hasn't been doing very well since her cancer diagnosis last year. She's a fighter is what Lucy tells me but sometimes, it's hard to fight alone. And after an extensive round of chemo made her fall down her stairs, which luckily didn't result in any major injuries, Lucy needs to be with her today. And of course, today of all days, my unit catches a case so big that myself and my whole fucking crew needs to be there.

I'm standing in my kitchen, staring at Noah, who is intensively practicing his dance routine in the living room, trying to figure out what to do with him. I already tried his friend's, but they're out of town. So is my neighbor who helps out every once in a while. And fuck, this is what is so hard about being a working single mother.

I'm scrolling through my contacts and my finger hovers for what is probably the tenth time over Elliot's name. It's not that I don't trust the man, I do and I've already shown him I do but he works a high profile job also and since I know he'll do anything to help me, I don't need him getting in trouble with Bell for trying to leave early. But fuck, Fin is calling again, my Chief is emailing me, and I have to do something.

I press his name, lift my phone to my ear.

"Hey, Liv."

"Hey. Are you working today?"

"Yeah. Doing some paperwork. Why? What's up?"

"I caught a big case and Noah's sitter is busy and all my other go to people are out of town and it's not like I can take him to work with me..." I'm rambling because I'm starting to panic. Because shit, I need to someone to watch my son. And it's Elliot, I can ramble to Elliot.

"Okay, okay, Liv. I'm almost done here and there's nothing inappropriate up on the board right now. Do you have time to drop him off? I'll watch him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, of course I'm sure."

I blow a quiet breath of relief out of my mouth. "Noah, get ready please. You're gonna hang out with Elliot today."

"Really?!" He exclaims and God, my kid really likes Elliot.

"Really, really."

"Yes!" I watch him almost fall on the run to his room and I have to hold in my laughter. This child of mine.

Elliot is chuckling on the other end of the line and I can't help but release my laugh with him. "He's excited."

"I can hear that."

"Thank you. We'll be there as soon as we can."

"It's not a problem. See you then."

EO

He's standing outside his unit when we arrive. I had sent him a message when we were five minutes out because as much as I want to see him, to talk to him, to talk to both of them, I just don't have the time right now. My unit is in shambles, Fin has called me a total of four times since we've left the house and fuck, I don't even know if I'm going to make it home tonight.

Noah knows the routine when I have a work emergency and as soon as we pull up to Elliot, he's already unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the door. "Bye, mom. Love you."

"Bye, honey. Love you too. Have fun."

Elliot is quick to grab Noah's backpack from him and leans into the window that I have opened to talk to him quickly. Very quickly. "Doesn't matter whose place you go to. You know he has a key for mine, if you want to go there. I don't even know when I'm going to be able to leave, so I'll keep you updated."

He nods, "Don't worry about anything, Liv. I got him."

I can't help the smile that grows in my face because I know he has him. He'll always have him, have us both now. "Thank you, again."

"Anytime. Now go get them, Captain."

EO

I don't walk into my door until three o clock in the morning. Three o clock. Sometimes I really think I'm getting too old for this shit. My back hurts and I'm pretty sure my ankle is swollen. All I want is my bed but I really fucking need a shower. When a perp thinks he can grab me by the hips and pull me into his chest before I even have time to think, let alone almost get his lips on me, a shower is a necessity.

Elliot and Noah had ended up coming here once they were done hanging out for the day. According to the texts I got from both of them, they had played soccer at the park, had gotten something to eat, had stopped by Noah's dance studio so he could do his routine a few times in front of the mirrors and then came here for bedtime.

I don't know why I'm expecting Elliot to be asleep on the couch but when I walk in and see him sitting at my dining table with his laptop open, I almost squeal from surprise.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. He's already standing and walking towards me and I have to place my hand on my heart to get it to slow the fuck down. "Sorry," he offers once more as his hands land on my upper arms to take up a rubbing motion against them. And God, that feels good, he feels good.

"No. I just assumed you were sleeping." I don't move from my spot in front of him because fuck, I know we're taking things slow, really slow, but I really want him to keep touching me.

He doesn't disappoint. We're just as in tune as we always have been because at the same time I lean forward for more contact, his arms wrap around me. As a lay my cheek against his shoulder, my hands coming up to rest on his lower back, I sigh in relief. Jesus, it's been so long since I've felt safe in someone's arms. Since it's felt so fucking right, if it's ever felt so fucking right. "I'm so tired," I whisper. I'm not sure if it's because I'm utterly exhausted or if it's the solid mass of his body but I feel my body become heavy against his, feel him readjust his hands on my back to keep me upright, feel my eyes close.

"Let's get you to bed, Liv."

His hands take an up and down motion against my spine and fuck. I shake my head limply against him because shower, I'm supposed to take a shower before I succumb to sleep.

"Yes, Liv."

"I need to shower."

"Shower in the morning." His tone is hushed, much like it was the day Angela Wheatley smacked me in the head with her cane and it just makes my body feel heavier. God, I could fall asleep right now. Standing up, against him.

I groan lowly. I wish I could just shower in the morning but every time someone touches me now, someone who I don't want to touch me, touches me, I feel like I need to scrub my skin. Even after I figured out who Burton really was, is, I scrubbed my skin raw for days. "Perp got hold of me today." I feel his hands tighten against me with that. As much as I hate being touched, Elliot hates me being touched as well. "Was seconds away from his lips touching me." I lean even heavier against him, bask in the moment of how he steps even closer to me, how his arms wrap tighter around me, how fucking intimate he's holding me right now. "I need a shower." He seems to agree with that explanation because he's nodding but fuck, I still don't want him to let go of me. "You feel so good though." So good.

His hands smooth up and down my back again and Jesus, my back really does hurt. And now that I'm thinking about it, so does my stupid ass ankle. I could probably use some ice for that one. "Do you want me to lay with you?"

"El..." it's a warning but a weak warning. Because we're supposed to be going slow which means no sex, yet, and I have a feeling that if this man even lays with me, with the way my body responds to him, that's exactly where it's going to go. But God, I do want him to lay with me. I do want to be wrapped up in his arms and really, is that that bad of a thing?

"Just lay with you. We don't have to do anything more."

I contemplate it for a second. Roll through all the reasons why we shouldn't but realize that none of those reasons really outweigh the reasons why we should. Because I'll most likely sleep better than I have in a really long time, he'll probably sleep better than he has in a long time, I won't feel that perps hands on me and God. Fuck it. "Okay. I at least need to change though."

He nods, "Okay."

We reluctantly let go of one another at the same time and Jesus, I need to get out of these slacks and into some leggings so I can be wrapped up in him again. But as soon as I take a step away, I stumble on my ankle and of course, Elliot notices right away. His hands catch my hips and shit, I really like them there, "You okay?"

"Yeah, just think my ankle is swollen. Haven't sat down all day."

I can see him already starting to kneel down to look at it and I stop him with my hands on his shoulders. "Let me change, then you can look."

He once more nods his agreement at me and as I walk, more like hobble, down the hallway, I see him make his way towards my fridge. I can almost guarantee what he's grabbing and God, I have never had a man so attentive to me before.

I peek in on my sleeping boy on my way to my room and leave my door open as I grab fresh... everything to change into. I'm pretty sure the man can figure out I'm changing in my bathroom if my door is wide open. Everything hurts on me right now and when I bend down to slowly remove my right boot, I'm not at all surprised with how swollen it is.

Fuck, this ankle is forever going to give me problems now. I'm half asleep and changing my clothes seems like a fucking mission but I blow a breath of relief out of my lips once my oversized long sleeve and loose pajama pants are on. I honestly don't give a fuck if Elliot sees the outline of my nipples tonight because there is no way in hell I'm wearing a bra to bed right now. I almost pass up on washing my face, brushing my teeth and combing my hair but force myself to do them anyways.

When I finally emerge from the bathroom Elliot is sitting on the edge of my side of the bed, closest to the bathroom door, with the blanket pulled down and an ice pack in his hand. He stands almost instantly, reaches his hand out to me to assist me and why the fuck not. I let him guide me slowly to bed and when I sit down with a wince, because fuck, my back, he eyes me suspiciously. "My back. Everything right now just hurts. I am too old for a day like today."

"We're definitely not as young as we once were."

"You can say that again." As soon as I lift my feet onto the mattress, his hand is rubbing along the swollen ankle gently.

"Jesus, Liv," he whispers, setting the ice pack softly on top of it.

"It's actually healed pretty nicely. Just doesn't agree with me putting pressure on it all day."

His fingers skim along the scar softly, another scar, like I needed anymore of those on my body, and I can hardly contain my goose bumps. "The scar looks good."

"Yeah, doctor did a good job."

He adjusts the ice pack slightly, makes sure it's positioned in a way that covers all the swelling and when I wince once more as I settle deeper into the mattress under me, he gives me a concerned look. "Your back?" I nod, attempt to twist my body a little more to get comfortable and shit, that hurts. "Do you want me to rub it for you?"

Holy shit. Did the man just offer to give me a back rub? Because that sure in hell sounded like an offer and fuck, we were only supposed to lie together. "El..." another weak warning and God, I need to get better at these warnings.

"I'm just offering, Liv."

I laugh lightly. Sure, that's all he's doing. "We agreed lying together, nothing more."

He grins at me and Jesus, I hate him so much sometimes. "Okay, just thought you'd sleep better if we got some of those kinks out."

"Elliot. Lay down." Right now or I'm going to take away the agreement of letting him hold me tonight. Because just the thought of his hands on my bare back make me almost whimper out loud and I do not need to embarrass myself, especially when Noah is in the next room.

He gives me that grin again, nods, and walks over to his, the other, side of my bed. He's dressed in his tank top and sweatpants, obvious that he changed when he was done with work and damn, this man's ass in sweatpants, this man's ass in anything. He doesn't waste any more time getting into bed with me, doesn't waste any time scooting himself closer to me and when I go to turn my body away from his, so he can wrap his arm around me from behind, I groan in discomfort.

"Olivia, just let me."

I huff in annoyance at him because slow. This thing is supposed to be expanding slowly but fuck, how much more slower do I want it? I mean, I just got done ghosting the man for three months and he's still here and God, my back hurts. When's the last time someone gave me a back rub? I can't even fucking remember. And it's a back rub, it's not like he's going to see anything else but my back and really, there's nothing on my back I don't want him to see. My front is what is covered in the things I don't want him to see yet.

I sigh in defeat lowly and reach down enough to remove the ice from my ankle, before turning slowly on my stomach. My hands are up, under my pillow, holding my head and I turn my head to look at him. "It better be a good back rub, since you want to do it so bad."

He grins at me again. Like a child who finally got what they wanted and I'm pretty sure I'm blushing because of it. He turns his body slightly, props himself up on his elbow, his hand holding his chin up, and reaches towards my lower back with his left hand.

And oh God. He hasn't even lifted my shirt but just the pressure of his fingertips digging into my muscles through my shirt makes me whimper quietly. I don't even want to know how many knots are present back there but I know it's a lot. And when his fingers make contact with one, I hiss sharply and try to arch myself away from him. Never mind, I'll live with this ache as opposed to the pain this shit is going to cause.

"Can I?" He asks as his hand moves down on my back. He's asking to lift my shirt. Asking to feel my skin and with the current way that one touch felt through my shirt, I'm not sure if skin to skin is a good idea right now, no matter how much I want it.

"Elliot..."

"I know it hurts. But I'll be able to feel them better and adjust my pressure on you. I can get your lotion too. That'll help." When I don't answer right away, he retreats. Because the last thing Elliot wants to do is push me into something I don't want to do, or something I'm not ready for. "But if you don't want to, we can adjust your pillows some. Get the pressure off of your back for the night."

Jesus. Who knew this man was such a fucking romantic? No wonder Kathy kept him around. Elliot is a gentleman. A full-blown gentleman and finally being to fully experience it for the first time is a little overwhelming. I've never had someone as attentive to my injuries than him, not even Brian. And Brian helped me changed my bandages.

I want him to touch me, want him to help me, but I'm not sure if I not only can handle it pain wise, if I can also handle it without completing losing it. Because I'm not supposed to lose it yet. I'm not. But fuck, I need a back rub. I've probably needed one for years. And I don't think any more when I tell him, "My lotion is in the bathroom."

As he gets up to get it, I lift my shirt up enough to expose my lower back and turn my head towards the bathroom to watch him walk out with the bottle in his hand. I watch his eyes scan the exposed skin of my back and God, the way this man looks at me. Instead of sitting back on the side he was at, he takes a seat directly next to me, turns his body so he's angled towards my back and lotions his hands.

"So, just relax into my touch, Liv."

"What are you? A massage expert?"

"I know a thing or two. Just relax and I'll adjust my pressure."

I nod because really, that's the only thing I can do and take a deep breath when his hands land on my bare back. Almost instantly he's finding a knot and when I go to recoil out of his touch, his fingers wrap around my sides to still me and fuck, I was not prepared for his fingers to be there.

"Relax, Olivia."

"It hurts."

"Yeah, because you're tense. I'm not going to be able to work them out if you don't relax."

I huff at him, "I'm trying."

"Just stay relaxed. Don't pull away from me."

Yeah, easy for him to say. When he doesn't have the back of an almost 60 year old Captain. I relax once more in the mattress, feel his thumbs go straight back to the knot he was starting on before and this time when he presses lightly, I wrapped my fingers tightly around my pillow to stop myself from tensing and relax myself further into the comfort of my mattress.

"There you go, Liv."

I groan as he presses but Elliot is good. It's like he can read my body without me even telling him because when it becomes too much, he lets up on the pressure, encourages me to relax once more and every time another knot releases I moan in relief. "God, El..." I whisper when he releases one that has been bothering me for years.

"Good?"

"Yes. Don't stop." Ever.

I bask in the feeling of his hands gliding freely along my skin and when, what I think, the last knot releases, I whimper in satisfaction. I expect him to stop, expect him to lift his hands off my body, but he does the complete opposite. Of course he does the complete opposite. His hands move up more, under the portion of my shirt that I did not lift. The portion that would be covering, if I had one on, the clasp of my bra. Well, if he didn't notice before, he definitely knows now that I don't have a bra on.

His fingers are still applying pressure against my muscles and god, he should stop. He should really stop but I really don't want him to. Because even though my lower back was what was all knotted up, my upper back hurts too. And really, I cannot remember the last time someone so thoroughly rubbed my back. If anyone ever has because god, Elliot really knows how to work his hands. And just the thought of those hands working somewhere else on my body makes me squeeze my thighs together.

Fuck… I really hope he didn't notice that. If he did, he doesn't show it. My body is so beyond relaxed right now that I feel like I keep sinking deeper into my mattress below me. And this, this, is no longer just a back massage. This is intimate. Very intimate. His fingers keep on rubbing sensually, the tips sometimes slowly running along my spine, his hands keep moving more up, small noises of satisfaction keep escaping my mouth, more of my back keeps getting exposed and I'm so wrapped up with how good he, I, feel right now that I barely notice the coolness on the sides of my breasts.

The sides of my breasts!? Okay, time to get myself together, right now. Because now that I'm paying attention to how high up my shirt is, my boobs, very large boobs, are barely even still enclosed in my shirt under me. Which means my whole stomach is bare against the mattress. "El…"

His hands stop against me and I turn my head slightly so I can look back at him. It's an odd angle with the way my body is positioned on the mattress but I'm able to look back enough to see his face. And holy shit, the look in the man's eyes is something I have never seen before. They're darker than usual, his pupils are dilated and I can almost guarantee that if I were to drag my eyes down further, I would see a bulge in his pants. Because fuck, more than fuck, Elliot Stabler is turned on. It actually makes me feel a little better though, because I'm pretty sure my panties are rendered useless by the feeling of slickness between my legs.

"Sorry," he says, "I should have…"

"No, don't be. That was…" I really can't see myself having this conversation with him still lying on my stomach. I mean, he just spent the last, who even knows, minutes working the kinks out of my back, and I sure in hell don't need to be causing more by awkwardly looking back at him. So I reach back to pull my shirt back down, something that he doesn't hesitate helping me with and when I know my stomach is covered once more, I roll to my side, so that I am facing his body. "That was really good. Thank you."

I see him blow a breath of relief out of his lips and do a slight arch of my back to stretch it. Damn. That was more than really good because my back hasn't felt this good in years. "I may call you up for another one of those soon. So make sure you pick up your phone."

He grins at me, "I'm at your service."

I smile at him, "Come on. You said you'd lay with me too."

I watch him stand, watch him visibly attempt to adjust himself, and I am not looking below his waistline. I'm not. I have a good feeling Elliot can back that ego of his but I really don't need visual conformation of that yet. Especially when I'm set on this thing moving slowly between us.

When he gets into bed again, I turn my body like I was trying to do before, painlessly if I may add and fuck, my back really does feel amazing, and lift my arm to indicate to him exactly how I want him to hold me. He doesn't disappoint me, of course he doesn't. His arm is around my middle, mine is holding on to his, his torso is flush against my back and not surprisingly, his lower half is a little away from my ass. Detective Stabler is still having a hard time getting himself under control and it makes me smile. He's as attracted to me as I am to him and Jesus, when we finally have sex, it's going to be mind-blowing. I can guarantee it.

I'm already drifting off in the comfort, in the safety of his arms, when I whisper, "You have to be on the couch by six."

"I will be. Now sleep, Liv."