Okay... this story has kind of taken a different route than I was originally thinking but I'm feeling it. Are you feeling it?

Please review and HAPPY READING!

He had thought I was shitting him for a minute. Really shitting him. Had laughed loudly on the other side of the phone and I had to face time his bald ass, I mean his cute bald ass, to let him know I was serious.

"We need it, El. Unless you don't want to have sex with me, then I guess we don't..."

"When?" His eyes were dark, heated, full of want and lost and God, I fucking love his eyes.

"Well it's going to take a few weeks for us both to be approved and really, we only need a weekend. So can we do..." I had looked at my calendar and counted six weekends out. Six was still a HELL of a lot of time away but that's what the force required and with McGarth on my ass 24/7, I wasn't trying to push it. He had groaned in disapproval but knew if that was the best I could do and if he wanted me to himself for three days and two nights, and goddamn my thighs were clenching at just the thought of fucking him all day long, he was going to have to take it.

So we agreed, put in our vacation time. Managed to see each other once every week since. Sometimes it was dinner with our families, sometimes it was a quick lunch grab when we both could spare 10 minutes, whatever we could get. It seemed that nighttime dates were not in our favor and although we kept trying, they kept being canceled, so we decided to take what we could. He could take me out on a date during our time away.

We hadn't managed any more alone time. But even without it, I have been able to discover that Elliot likes to touch. When the kids aren't looking he will kiss me lightly, will run his hand sensually along my backside, sometimes will even give my ass a squeeze on his pass by. Nothing too sexual. Just enough to show me how much he wants me, how appreciative he is of me and Jesus, it makes me ache every time.

We had agreed no more... orgasms? Dry humping? God, the term dry humping sounds so fucking dumb, but really that's what we had done for the most part. He seems to know I need to talk to him about something and he's been great making sure my boundaries have remained respected.

It's finally Thursday. The day before we're supposed to leave for the weekend. Noah is packed, plans are set for him to stay with Lucy, my unit is covered under Fin's watch, my work phone is already off because I am not being called in this weekend. I'm not. And I've made that very clear to both my chief and my unit. So they better just get it together without me.

It's been a rough past week at week. Every time a child is involved, a cloud of darkness is cast on all of us. And when it happens to be that the first time abuser had been harvesting being assaulted for years, it's just a shitty situation. These cycles of abuse, they never stop. They never will and that cloud? It's hanging over my head right now.

Elliot and I are still getting away. I'm still going to tell him about my trauma and I'm still going to fuck him senseless, that much I know for sure. But I'm not even packed yet. I've been so busy these last six weeks making sure we've closed as many cases as we can, so Fin doesn't have too much on his plate, that packing for myself had completely slipped my mind. Which means, I'm currently digging through my drawers when I realize I don't even have any idea where we're going. I told Elliot to decide. As long as it has a bed for us to... lay on, I really don't give a fuck.

I grab my phone off my dresser, push the speed dial for his number and start shoving matching sets of lace bra and panties in my bag. I mean... I can at least look sexy. Well as sexy as I'm able to look now.

"Hey," he says out of breath and I wonder what the fuck he was just doing.

"Hi?"

"Sorry," he takes a deep breath, I hear the gulp of water and oh. I realize what he was just doing before he even tells me. "I was working out."

"Mmm." Just the thought of this man working out makes my mouth water. I'm glad, really glad he has stayed committed to his workout routine because my God, his body. Yum.

"Liv..."

The sounds of my moans do something to him. I'd become sure of it when he grabbed my ass in my hallway last week when he was here helping Noah with his homework. I let a small moan of appreciation slip passed my lips and shit, the way the man's eyes darkened. Don't worry, Stabler. You're about to hear a lot of them. That much I can guarantee. "So, um, where are we going?"

"Well, that's a surprise Benson."

I groan, "I don't like surprises, El." I really fucking don't.

"I know but it's just one more day, Liv. And you're going to love it."

"Okay... well will you at least tell me if the weather is going to be good."

"Definitely pack something warm. But dress in layers, so if you get too hot you can take them off without freezing." I nod, like he can fucking see me. I dress like that all time, so that's not a problem. I'm already beginning to pull tank tops out of a drawer when he says, "And a nice dress. I want to take you to a nice restaurant."

When's the last time someone took me to a nice restaurant? Jesus, picking a dress is going to be hassle in and of itself. "Okay," I whisper. My feet are already taking me to my closet because might as well get that choice out of the way.

"Nine tomorrow morning still works?"

"Yeah, that's perfect."

"I can't wait to see you."

"Hmm," I hum, my free hand flipping through my dresses, "I'm sure you can't."

"You know, I don't only want to have sex with you, right?"

Okay, I was not expecting him to say that. But I know. Of course I know that. That's something he never has to tell me because our relationship has always been deep, before we even got close to crossing this line. And I know it will always be deeper than sex. Which actually makes the sex that much more to look forward to. "I know."

He silent for a second and I can almost see the grin in his face when he finally says, "But, I do want to."

I laugh, "I know that too." Like his touches weren't enough to tell me that.

"Only if you..."

"Elliot. I want to." I mean I was the one who initiated this whole line crossing thing, I did kiss him first, although that ended up being a dual connection, I did come up with this idea. Of course I fucking want to. I not only want to, I need to. But it's kind of funny that he's essentially asking me when he knows damn well I do. It's nice but it's mostly funny. So, really, I can't help but laugh again.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing. You're just such a…"

"Gentleman?"

That makes me laugh harder, "I was going to say Catholic but gentleman works too."

He chuckles, "Well, I'm not that good of a Catholic. If I was, we'd have to be married before the whole sex thing."

Alright, time out! I'm still flipping through my dresses for probably the fifth time since we've been on the phone and why the fuck is choosing a dress so hard for me now. "Yeah, well you've never followed that part." Shit. I cannot believe I just, essentially, brought up Kathy. I have been trying so hard not to bring her up because Elliot, the Stablers, are still mourning. They will always be mourning the loss of Kathy Stabler.

But luckily, Elliot doesn't comment on that and instead laughs, "You are right with that one."

I blow a small breath of relief out of my mouth. The last thing I want to do is make him sadder than he already is about his deceased wife. When I flip through my last dress, AGAIN, I hear him sigh on the other end of the phone. "What?"

"Just pick a dress, Liv. I'm sure you look great in every one of them. And you only need one."

I groan. Still don't know how this man always knows what the fuck I'm thinking. "Black or blue?" Because those are the colors of the two that keep catching my eye and God, he can just decide. Makes it easier for me.

"Blue, definitely blue."

I grab the blue dress, lean over to grab my heels and sneakers. I was not planning on packing with this man on the phone with me but I guess I'm going to. And since it's not really convenient to pack one handed, I place him on speaker and throw my phone on my bed. "Are you packed already?" I ask as I head towards my pajama drawer. Do I even need pajamas? I guess for the first night, I might need some, so I guess I'll grab a pair.

"I don't need to pack my whole bedroom, so yeah. I'm packed."

"Oh shut up." Asshole. "I'm a woman, El. I need stuff that you don't need."

"I am very much aware that you are a woman. Very. Much. Aware."

"Elliot…" He really needs to stop using this fucking tone with me. By now he knows what it does to me and God. It's been way too long since he's touched me in that way and not only had he not completely touched me, it's only happened once. One time over two months ago and I can still remember it like it happened yesterday. And fuck, I need him to touch me again. And I swear to God, if it's another two months until it happens again after this weeked, I'm going to kill McGarth. I am.

I'm not sure if I said that out loud or if he just knows what I'm thinking again, but he says, "Don't worry, Liv. You know I'm going to take care of you."

Yes, I fucking do. He chuckles once more and goddammit, I really need to watch what I say out loud. Fuck, he hasn't even gotten me naked and I already know exactly what this man is going to do to me once it happens. And I am even going to survive the intensity of that moment? I can't help it, I glance back in my closet, at the drawer I have hidden in the back right.

Noah is eight and although, I don't think he goes snooping through my stuff, the boy is respectful for god's sake, there are some things I keep hidden. I grab my phone, walk back to it and open it slightly to peek inside. It's a mixture of toys and lingerie. Two things that I haven't used in fucking ever. I'm not interested in the toys, yet, but the lingerie…

I kind of wish I thought about this before I came home today. I could have stopped at a store and bought a brand new one to wear for him this weekend. But some of these, I've never worn for anyone. Before Burt, eww, it had been a very long time, since Tucker to be exact, and you better believe that fucking loser Burt did not get to see me in lingerie. And through the years, sometimes, sometimes, I splurged on something just for myself. Just something I could put on, could look at myself in the mirror, could remind myself that I was sexy over and over again and place them into my closet drawer once I believed it.

My eyes are skimming through the colors of different laces when he says, "Liv…"

I don't know what he was about to say and really I don't really care, because I'm sure it had something to do with the sex conversation, and we've already pretty much talked about that. Both of us know that sex is going to happen this weekend, and maybe that makes it a little less sexy, but this is just the way is needs to be right now. And with all of these colors (dark purple, red, blue, green, deep magenta, black) staring at me, I cannot help saying, "Pick a color."

"What?" He's genuinely confused and it makes me smile widely. Yes, I'm going to rock his world just as much as he's going to rock mine.

"Pick a color."

"Between the black and blue? I already chose blue."

God, why are men so fucking clueless sometimes, "No, El. Choose any color." Any color and hopefully I have that fucking color.

"Um, green?"

Green. I can do green. I pluck the green out of the drawer, rest my phone on top of the small dresser and hold up the material for me to look it over. I don't really remember this one. But it looks like a tight fitting lace and shit, of course this man picks something that hugs my curves perfect. It's sheer lace, completely see through from the thin straps to the hem that falls against my upper thigh, The neckline low enough to expose my cleavage and Jesus Christ, what the fuck compelled me to buy this one? I'm tempted to tell him to choose a different color, but this is the first he said and this color actually looks really good on my skin tone… so I guess we're going for it. I find the matching thong quickly and close the drawer with my hip.

"Thank you," I tell him as I once again walk to my bed. What's left? Pants, shirts, long sleeve blouses, a sweater and a coat. He had said to dress in layers. "I'm only bringing sneakers and a pair of heels, is that good?" I ask as I step into my bathroom for my bathroom stuff.

"Yeah. Leave all those boots that hurt your ankle at home."

"You know, these heels are going to hurt it too."

"Well, pick a pair that doesn't hurt it as bad. You don't have to wear four inch heels to dinner."

I'm throw my blow dryer and curling iron into my bathroom bag and say, "The four inch heels look nice." They do. They really fucking do.

"So do the two inch ones."

I groan. Because he is so wrong. "The four inch ones are coming."

"Okay, if you say so."

My toothbrush, my shampoo, my conditioner, my body lotion and facial stuff. I always carry a to-go makeup bag in my purse. Just in case I need to reapply, something, at work, so I only grab a darker eye shadow pallet and darker lipstick to add to it. I do one more twirl around my bathroom because I hate, absolutely hate, leaving toiletries behind when I go somewhere. I'm really not trying to have to go to the store while we're gone and sigh when I glance at my razor. Yeah, that would definitely be a good thing to grab.

"What are you packing now?" he asks and this asshole. I don't know why I'm still on the phone with him.

"My bathroom stuff."

"You don't need the whole bathroom."

I can hear the humor in his voice and this fucker. He must have just been listening to me clanking shit around in here for the last five minutes. That's it. This conversation it over. "Whatever. I'm hanging up now. I'll see you at nine."

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to take you out for breakfast too, so don't eat."

Oh, okay. Jesus, this man is not only going to rock my body, he's going to rock me. For the first time, I realize that while I've been so consumed with the Lewis conversation and with the sex, I haven't even thought about the fact that this man is, most likely, going to romance the fuck out of me. My body warms, my heart flutters and God, what the hell did I just get myself into with this weekend?

"Okay." It's the only thing I can say because this is happening, really happening, tomorrow morning to be exact, and I'm, we're, going to do this.

We most certainly are.