Lulu's face glows as Josh helps her light her candle. His brow crinkles as she widens her eyes at him in silent exhortation to let her hold it on her own. And I see the indecision warring within him. He wants to let her do things on her own. He's so proud of how brave, and smart, and capable she is, but he can't help but worry. He's lost so much.

But for Lulu he'll do anything, especially conquer his own fear.

"Ahkay, but you have to stand very, very still." Josh instructs her.

"I promise." Lulu agrees solemnly. And then as Josh lets go of her hand she gives him the most beautiful smile and stays perfectly still. Neither she nor Josh move a muscle, staring at each other as the music continues around them.

When Silent Night ends, Josh gently blows on his candle, extinguishing the flame. Lulu watches him intently then copies him perfectly.

"Did I do it right, Daddy?"

"Yes, you were perfect." Josh assures her. "Good job."

The rest of the family is fairly oblivious to the moment, gathering their belongings and shuffling out of the pew. I think we're all anxious to get home. None of the kids were in the choir this year, so we don't have to wait around.

The older kids are plotting some sort of video game tournament at Sean's tonight, but Julie and I just want to get the littles back to my parents house and to bed.

"Jammies in the bag?" Josh asks as he hoists it over his shoulder and scoops Jonah from me.

"Yep."

"Come on Squirt. Let's get you changed." Josh informs Jonah, giving him a little tickle. "You too, Lu."

"I don't want to put my pajamas on here!" Lulu states with a little stomp of her foot. "Marco and Kate aren't putting their pajamas on yet."

"Of course not." Marco insists, while Kate mimics him nodding her head. J

Josh looks at his watch and I see little lines form around his lips. He's not usually the strict one, but he does believe in the importance of bedtime. It's pretty ironic coming from a man who just as often slept at his desk.

But one look at Lulu's face tells me that she's gearing up for a show down and frankly, I do not want to deal with it here in front of extended family. This is a pick your battles moment.

"Alright. You can change back at Grandma's." I concede. "But it's going to be bedtime right away. It's almost 8 o'clock."

"We have to put out cookies for Santa first, Aunt Donna!" Kate insists.

"Why?" Lulu asks in genuine confusion and I hold my breath a bit. She knows who Santa is, but we don't encourage her to actually believe in him.

Julie gives Marco a little look and he scowls before answering. "It's just something we do."

That's interesting. I wonder if he's grown up more than I realized in the last year.

As I suspected, both Lulu and Jonah fall asleep in the car. Josh carries Lulu in while I get the car seat. He manages to get Lulu to go to the bathroom and change into a nightgown, while I transfer Jonah to the pack-n-play.

Then once both kids are settled we sneak out the door and head downstairs.

Josh and I are snuggling on the couch looking at the lights twinkling on the Christmas tree when he notices the plate of cookies and glass of milk in front of the fireplace.

"So what kind of cookies did they leave for Santa and will anyone notice if I eat one?" Josh asks with a smirk. But before he can steal one, Finn walks into the living room holding two cups of coffee.

"Hey." Finn greets us.

"Is one of those for me?" Josh asks losing interest in the milk and cookies in favor of his favorite drink.

"Not unless you're planning on staying up half the night to assemble toys." Finn banters at him.

"Nope." Josh quickly responds. "That's part of the brilliance of Hanukkah, you know, eight days instead of one.

Finn laughs at that, but Josh is still smirking a little.

"What?" Finn asks.

"Oh I was just thinking about how there used to be a rule against food in here." Josh answers, pointing at the plate and then the coffee.

"Ahhhh." Finn responds before taking a sip of his beverage. "Well, we always broke that rule, but you know how it goes, we were trying to impress the newbie. But . . ." Finn muses, "you're family now, and as family, I've got a favor to ask."

"What do you need?" Josh sits up a little straighter. I love how obvious it is that he's willing to help.

"Well . . . " Finn looks at Josh sheepishly, contemplating whether he really wants to do this, and it's got my curiosity aroused. "I know you're Jewish, and all, but . . ."

"It's alright. I don't have anything against Christmas." Josh reassures him.

"It's just that Marco's almost over the whole Santa thing. He's pretty sure that it's one of us, so I was thinking that if he could get a glimpse of Santa while Julie and I were in the room with him . . . Jim has a Santa costume you can use and you could just walk around the backyard a bit . . ."

"You want me to help you deceive your child?"

"Yeah?"

"Ahkay. I'm in." Josh agrees to my surprise, "But I get to eat Santa's cookies."