I can't believe I'm wandering around the backyard of my in-laws' house at five a.m. dressed as Santa. It's not that I mind getting up this early, in fact, I'm wearing jogging clothes underneath this costume so that once I'm given the all clear I can get in an early morning run.

It's just that the fact that this is what my life has become still surprises me sometimes. It's not that I didn't want a wife and kids, but it seemed so remote of an idea. No one I ever dated really made me think it was possible.

I'll admit. I briefly considered it with Amy. The problem was, when I tried to imagine my future, my wife and kids were blonde. And I really didn't want to think too much about what that meant.`

I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do out here, so I make another circle around the yard shaking the jingle bells a little harder.

Chip is standing on the back deck trying not to laugh. I don't care if he laughs, as long as he's not recording this. I sneak a glance up at the window to Donna's room. I hope she's still asleep.

Finally, my phone buzzes in my pocket and I hurry to the back side of the shed.

"Marco saw you! We are heading downstairs to open gifts. All clear."

Great! I whip off the costume as quickly as I can and shove it into the bag to be stowed away in the shed until after Finn's family goes back to Green Bay.

That done, I stretch a little, then launch into a slow jog. Chip falls into place beside me. After a few minutes I break the silence–

"The things we do for family."

He grins. "I figured you lost a bet."

"No, believe it or not, that was voluntary."

He gives me a silent, appraising look before answering. "Well I wouldn't have believed it from what I'd heard but now that I've been with you for few years, I have no doubt."

His words echo what I was thinking earlier and I find it reassuring to hear that others have noticed a change in me as well.

An hour later we're back at the house. I'd like to sneak in unseen but as I walk through the hall I peek into the living room. Wrapping paper is strewn everywhere. Marco and Kate are happily playing with their new toys while Finn and Julie watch with tired smiles.

As I'm about to move away Finn looks up and gives me the thumbs up sign, so I give him a quick nod before making my way to the kitchen. Lottie's sliding a couple pans into the oven.

"Good morning, Josh."

"Morning! Is that your breakfast casserole?"

"Yes."

"I love that."

"It'll be ready in an hour. But there's coffee now. And there's cookies."

"Outstanding!"

Lottie grabs a mug and pours some Coffee for me as I browse the cookie tray. There are several kinds to choose from but I end up grabbing several Italian Christmas cookies. They are my favorite, buttery balls coated in powdered sugar, with a slight lemony flavor. Lottie's cookies are the main reason I go jogging on these visits.

"So, how's your Mother?" Lottie inquires as she hands me the mug.

"She's good. She was up for Hanukkah."

"That's nice." Lottie responds politely. I know that's all this is, polite small talk. But the fact that she's asking at all is an improvement. She's terribly jealous of my Mom.

"Okay, I'm going to get ready. You all set?"

"Yes, thanks."

After she's gone, I shove the last cookie in my mouth, then top off my mug of coffee and pour one for Donna and head up the stairs. After all, I'm not a newbie anymore and apparently the rules are just for show anyway.

Donna and the kids are still asleep when I ease open the door. But as I set her coffee down on the desk and settle into the chair to watch her sleep, Donna opens her eyes and gives me a sleepy smile.

This is my favorite thing in the whole world.

"Hey."

"Hey."

As I stand back up and retrieve her coffee, her smile widens and she pushes herself to a sitting position with her back against the headboard.

"You are my favorite person in the whole world." She whispers as I hand over the mug.

"Just because I have the coffee." I reply as I slide in next to her, careful not to spill on either of us.

"Not just for that reason." she quips back. "But it doesn't hurt your standings."

God, I love her so much.

We sit in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's company, and hearing our children breathe. I never used to like the quiet before. Slowing down reminded me of gaping holes in my life, so I filled it with work and made those people my family. This is much nicer.

After ten minutes or so we hear the water shut off in another part of the house. Lottie must be done with her shower.

"We should get ready." Donna suggests, "before Finn and Julie beat us to the bathroom."

"They're still downstairs."

"Still . . ." Donna looks at me with her eyebrows raised and her nose wrinkled, her not so subtle way of suggesting that I stink.

"Ahkay. I get it."

She grins at me before finishing off her coffee in one big gulp. I follow suit, then we quietly gather our stuff.

Unfortunately our shower is quick and efficient, just long enough to get us both clean, although I do take an extra minute to make sure her boobs are thoroughly washed, flicking her nipples just enough to make her wish we had more time.

"Jooooshh . . ." She drawls in a mixture of frustration and exasperation. But I just give her a little grin before climbing out and drying off.

"You are so bad." She huffs a minute later, after she turns the water off and joins me.

I just shrug and continue to get dressed. This year they are old fashioned style, button up with a wide collar, cream flannel with a subtle green and red plaid. I like them.

But then Donna drops the towel and shimmies into her undies. It's an ivory lace thong with a little tiny red bow at the small of her back.

"I . . . uh . . what?" I feel like my head is going to explode.

Donna looks back over her shoulder at me and gives me an evil grin. "You like?"

"Donna! You can't wear those all day! I'm going to lose my mind."

"Mmmmm . . . I think I can." She smirks. "It only seems fair, since you were just trying to turn me on with no relief in sight. You're just going to have to sit down there in my parents living room and know that this is what I'm wearing."

With that she slips a flannel nightgown with a high lace collar over her head and the panties disappear from sight. But I'm still feeling the effects.

Donna pulls out the blow dryer and starts on her hair while I contemplate whether we can have sex in the next 10 minutes. We probably could but it wouldn't be our best work. And some things are worth the wait.