Chapter V:
tw: mentions of death/thoughts of death.
"Oh come on, Blaise. I am sure Granger wouldn't do anything to hurt Draco given his current state. Did you forget what Gryffindors are like?" Theo spoke, with his hands in his pockets, he made his way to where Hermione sat. He frowned seeing the puddle of blood that began to dry under the coffee table and he quickly flicked his wand, to clear the liquid off the carpet. He could hear Hermione breathe out and he smirked in response, taking a seat beside her.
"Bet, she was trying to get his wand, you also forget how stupid the Gryffindors can be"
Hermione watched Pansy walk over to gently caress Draco's face, moving his hair to the side to check if he had temperature. "As if you can make it out of here alive, Granger" Hermione flinched seeing the smirk on Pansy's lips, or maybe she did so because, she saw a hint of darkness in the witch's gaze.
She easily noticed that Pansy had changed. If war took a toll on some witches and wizards, it looked as if Pansy had fully blossomed into a tall, sophisticated witch that was fully aware of all the privilege she was born into in life. Her hair was longer, and it came in waves down her shoulders, an emerald green headband sat on her head, that matched the dress she was wearing.
"It's not what it looks like" Hermione protested.
"Oh please-" Pansy flicked her wrist, dismissing her and pressed a gentle kiss on Draco's temple.
"I don't have to try to convince you, Parkinson. Or any of you for that matter" Hermione insisted.
"Bald and yet, still feisty-" she heard Blaise's voice booming from where he stood, by the fireplace. He edged closer and filled four glasses with firewhisky, passing them to Pansy and Theo and then, herself.
"Magic is Might" the three of them raised their glasses in unison.
Hermione felt very small so, she lowered her gaze. She didn't want to be part of this celebration where magic was might. All three acted as if she wasn't there, talking about an upcoming ball, and Theo's newest love conquest.
"Don't you want a drink, Granger? I am sure Draco won't mind-"
Hermione was cornered, Theodore Nott was sitting right beside her, smiling deviously. She hesitated at first, but then, shook her head and avoided his gaze all together taking a small sip. She hadn't had firewhiskey before so, she coughed out loud, earning a snort and a chuckle from the two wizards that surrounded her and an eyeroll from Pansy Parkinson.
"Tell me, Granger- how do you find your new freedom?"
Her gaze fell on Blaise's. He was staring down at her, with a brow raised.
"B-" Pansy warned him with a subtle glare that was hard not to notice, "Do you find Draco's generosity to be excessive?" he continued, ignoring the witch all together.
"..and out of place?"
Hermione didn't know how to respond. She thought that she might be some kind of a pawn in Draco's game or ambition, but deep down, her heart told her otherwise, that Draco was more than just the boy that bullied her and her friends for most of their young life. He was also a boy that saved Harry in his family's drawing room. No matter what the truth was, her gut told her that there was more to him than met the eye.
"I am thankful that I am not going through what I had-" pursing her lips, she met Blaise's gaze head on.
His expression was hard to read. If he had any thoughts or feelings about her, he didn't give them away.
"Thankful? Is that all?" he questioned and Pansy cut him off once more. The witch stood up, and grabbed the glass from his hands, placing it on the fireplace. She whispered something in his ear. Hermione noticed that Pansy's fingers had wrapped around his wrist and she was squeezing them gently.
That moment, Hermione took her chance to properly look at Pansy's figure. She was wearing a dress that matched her headband. It hugged her figure tightly; it was a bold choice for a witch of her standing, bringing a modern twist to the pureblood witches' more conservative fashion. And then, she noticed her high heels. A golden snake wrapped around her ankles and she faced Blaise with a gentle smile on her lips.
If Draco Malfoy was a puzzle she wanted to solve, Pansy Parkinson was a puzzle in her own league.
"Fine, I will drop it" she snapped out of it when she heard Blaise's voice boom in her ears. "For now-" he smirked at Hermione until she felt so comfortable, she had to look away.
"Breakfast is at five am, boys- don't wait for me because, I will be getting my beauty sleep"
Pansy's words were met with groans and protests. Hermione stared at her, wondering if she had been living with them all along.
"I think I should go–" she heard herself say and before she could get on her feet, she felt Theo's fingers wrap around her wrist.
"You should stay, Granger-"
His eyes sparkled and Hermione tried to remove her hand from his hold. She noticed that he was wearing a ring on his finger, one that resembled Draco's but they weren't the same, Theodore's was shaped differently. It was less bulky but she couldn't decipher the engraving on it due to lack of light.
"It's best if I go-" she murmured, and got on her feet, Hermione stumbled forward, holding on to the wizard that caught her just in time.
"I-" she couldn't speak, her vision got blurry and she tried to push herself off of him to no avail. Her fingertips dug into the soft material of Theo's robes and before she lost consciousness, she felt his arm wrap around her waist to pull her closer.
"Really, Blaise?" Pansy spoke, rolling her eyes.
"What- did you really think someone like her should be here with us, enjoying a drink?"
Blaise was unapologetic. Shrugging his shoulders, he took Pansy's glass and brought it to his lips and downed the leftovers of the firewhiskey.
"Don't forget, Pans- she is a prisoner of war and is no good to us all"
Pansy Parkinson sighed and placed her glass on the coffee table. She turned to check Draco's temperature and Theo called one of the house elves, ordering them to take Hermione to her room.
Hermione woke up with a loud gasp some hours later, it was still dark outside and the fireplace was on, the only source of light in the room. Her chest heaving, she pressed her palm to her heart, squeezing her eyes shut. She was revealed to find herself on her bed, and in her room even though she had developed a fairly good idea of what had happened. And she felt angry, her hands shaking when she remembered Blaise Zabini's smug face. She went back and forth between feeling grateful that she wasn't tortured on a daily basis and feeling utterly disgusted with herself.
The survivor's guilt was real and Hermione Granger had no idea how to deal with it.
She felt her chest aching, and tears rolled down her eyes. Uncontrollable sobs filled the large space she had occupied and she felt nothing more than a freak or a prisoner that was waiting for her turn to be put on display. Her hands on her head, her elbows pressing to her thighs, she begged for the Gods to come and claim her soul. Surely death was the easiest way out, instead of waiting for puzzle pieces to fall into place. Hermione felt weak, and convinced that she had lost her strength somewhere along the way as she spent months rotting in Lestranges' dungeon.
Then, she felt fingers wrap around her wrists, pulling them away. In the midst of the chaos that was her broken heart and her weak mind, she looked up to meet the familiar grey eyes that had haunted parts of her mind for days. His touch was cold yet gentle, haunting yet determined and she let him. Maybe, Draco Malfoy would realize that there was no need in keeping her around, that the best way would be to rid of her completely.
She noticed how he had a frown on his face and she wondered if it was permanent for she hadn't seen him without it in a very long time. Even when he was in Pansy's care, fighting against losing consciousness, his brows were knitted together like twins unable to part. And she reached out to emulate Pansy's touch, to sooth his brows back into their place. He shuddered under her touch and didn't fight her, his grey eyes closing as he welcomed her caresses.
There was a tight moment of silence between them, a moment of vulnerability between two souls that sought to understand each other. Tears rolled down her cheeks but, for a very different reason than pain, and regret. They were two people who had been nothing but two enemies from the beginning. And now, years later, one had finally found his place in a world carved by the ideals of his forbearers and the other struggled to accept that the evil could actually win.
A part of her wanted to fight and protest and the other, just wanted to admit defeat, feeling so exhausted.
"Draco…" she finally said after what it felt like, minutes of silence.
"I apologize on Blaise's behalf" he cut her off, placing her hands on her lap. "He is one of the greatest assholes I have ever known but, he is looking out for me. I do hope that you can forgive him, Granger."
Draco was fast on his feet as if staying with her would add to the vulnerable seconds they had just shared in silence, and Hermione noticed that he was wearing the same clothes from before. She felt his warmth slowly dissipate into nothingness, and his walls build up, she could clearly see it in his eyes.
"At dawn, Blaise, Theo and I are leaving for a few days. Pansy will remain here to make sure you are taken care of-"
"Where are you going?" pursing her lips, she looked away from him, refusing to meet his gaze. Hermione felt embarrassed in showing a tad bit of interest.
"Nowhere that should concern you"
Hermione watched him close the door, feeling her body go cold and rigid. Pulling the covers over her head, she curled into a fetal position and closed her eyes, hoping that she could dream of her happier days with her friends, drinking butter beer and laughing over the smallest, most insignificant things in life.
To her surprise, she was woken by Pansy Parkinson at exactly eight thirty am. The witch wasn't alone, one of the house elves was with her, moving the furniture around. Hermione sat up, pulling the covers to her chest.
"You are awake? Good- it's time to take your potions" Pansy moved gracefully across the room, and placed a pair of black, silk pajamas on her lap.
"I thought you might want to change into something that is more …appropriate. I understand when Draco brought you here, there weren't that many options but a few nightgowns that used to belong to one of his great-aunts and I can see they are rather ghastly looking"
Hermione's lips parted but, there was no sound. Just what was going on? There was no sign of any hostility that Pansy Parkinson might have had towards her the night before. The witch was clad in a different dress, black with exposed collars, it hugged her body tightly, a set of pearls with a green emerald clasp adorning her neck.
"Don't get used to my generosity, Granger. I am doing this for Draco but, you already know that-"
"We will be making some changes in this room per Draco's orders. So why don't you go take a bath and get out of our way?"
Hermione noticed that Pansy didn't really look into her eyes. She didn't find it surprising, she knew that the witch saw Hermione beneath her. And Hermione, in the state that she was in, couldn't really blame her. Next to Pansy Parkinson, she looked just like Blaise had put it- scary.
"Has Draco left already?" Hermione asked, picking up the pajamas, noticing the soft and expensive fabric that melted into her hands, and a pair of black knickers hidden between the pants and shirt.
She blushed and quickly pressed the items to her chest.
"He has-" Pansy's reply was short and distant and she turned her attention to the elf that was elevating the desk, giving him instructions of changes to be made.
Hermione made her way to the bathroom and closed the door behind her, slowly sinking on to the floor with her back pressing against the heavy wooden door. She could hear the furniture being moved and elves popping in and out, and Pansy giving out orders. If only she could use her magic, to silencio the room she was in. Hermione filled the black, marble tub and slowly sunk in it. Slowly she felt the heaviness of it all claiming her once more. The weight on her shoulders got heavier with each passing second and she closed her eyes and succumbed to the deep abyss that burnt pieces of her soul.
When Hermione emerged from the bathroom, the room looked different. It was brighter, the black heavy curtains were replaced with beige, light variation. The desk where she eaten her meals was moved to the corner, a lamp was placed on it and on the fireplace, she noticed a selection of books.
Handpicked by Draco, she thought.
Her bedding had been changed into a color that matched the curtains, and there were throw pillows that were neatly placed against the headboard. Hermione had noticed three different dresses, and a set of robes laid out on the bed. The dresses were very simple day dresses; one in emerald green, one in beige, and one in black; same cut, different colors. Below on the floor, there were two pairs of shoes, a pair of Oxfords that looked similar to those she used to wear in Hogwarts, and a set of ballet flats, with gold ribbons on top. There were two pairs of stockings, and some undergarments in different colors and also, socks that were neatly stacked next to the clothes.
"You're welcome" Pansy stood by the door.
"Did you get these?"
Pansy shrugged her shoulders.
"You gave me clothes. Why are you being so nice to me, Pansy? I don't mean to question your generosity but, is there something I need to know? First, the room now, the clothes. You weren't particularly nice to me last night"
"My, my, look at you. You sound like a house elf that just earned its freedom" Pansy walked closer, to fix the throw pillows. "I am not being nice to you, Granger. I am doing what Draco asked me to do."
"Then, why is he being nice to me?"
"That's a question you need to ask him. But, let me tell you one thing, Granger. Draco doesn't know what kindness is. Not all of us were lucky to be raised exposed to that. And though, it might be hard for your insufferable brain to understand, some of us are really not like our parents."
"You expect me to believe that you are a changed woman now, Pansy? I do remember well that you outed Harry in front of the entire school, the night of the battle-"
Hermione waited for Pansy to react, to hex her, to lock her up or scream at her and throw insults her way.
"You know, I have always wondered why everyone thought that you were the greatest witch of our age- sometimes, you are so simple minded that you don't deserve that title. Like I said, not all of us are like our parents. Why don't you ponder on that for a while?" Pansy turned on her heels, "And take your potions, you need to get stronger" she commanded, closing the door behind her.
Hermione had managed to avoid Pansy for the rest of the day and just prayed that she wouldn't march into her room with new clothes, furniture or orders. The witch had made her uncomfortable, and though she pondered on her words, she spent the remainder of the day, staring out of the large windows. Hermione deduced that it wasn't just Draco that had a side of him that waited to be discovered. Pansy said that he didn't know what kindness meant so, what was pushing him to help her. Was complying with Draco's requests enough for Pansy to swallow her pride and aide Hermione by giving her clothes to wear or make her living quarters more aesthetically pleasing? The questions that filled her mind ate her up, and consumed her every second. Hermione had forgotten the new books that were placed neatly above the fireplace for her to read. It was just her priorities had changed. Her mind was working hard to remember any detail she could have missed since her arrival to the castle and into Draco's care.
She was standing by the windows, when she noticed Pansy's figure occupying a table right below, next to to the rose bushes. She was giving elves orders with a tea cup in her hand. Hermione noticed that next to the tea pot, there lay the Daily Prophet. Her heart fastened and she leaned closer to try to see who was on the first page. As if on cue, her gaze met Pansy's and to her surprise, the witch placed her tea cup down and stared at the newspaper and then, back at Hermione before ordering the elves to follow her as they made their way to the gardens.
Chewing on her lower lip, Hermione didn't hesitate to run out of the door. Pansy Parkinson had seen her, and according to Hermione, she had silently encouraged her to get the paper. Maybe, it was a trap of sorts but, she didn't care. She was going to risk it all if she could have a chance to see what the world outside was like.
Hermione rushed outside, and paused for a brief moment to inhale the fresh, cold air of Scotland. This was the first time, she had stepped outside, in months and in a moment of excitement, she had forgotten what big of a moment that was.
Right, she thought a smile on her lips and reached for the paper.
There on the first page was a photo of Minister of Magic unveiling a new statue of the Dark Lord in the courtyard of Hogwarts, "Magic is Might" it read and Hermione felt her heart sank. Hogwarts had finally opened its doors and there, in the courtyard where the entire history of magical Britain had changed, they had unveiled a statue in the praise of the Voldemort. She felt sick just imagining what it meant for all the freshmen especially, the muggle born witches and wizards.
Her gaze fell on a photo of Draco, on the right side. His face was void of emotions and right behind him stood Blaise Zabini and an older wizard to his left. The article talked about the "the successful negotiations of the charismatic diplomat and Head of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black was doing on the Dark Lord's behalf with the Minister of Magic of the United States." Hermione felt her knees buckle and she found herself on the cold green grass. Draco was representing Voldemort and his interests abroad. So, he held a high position in the service of the Dark Lord and within the Ministry. She took a moment to digest that information and what it implied.
She skimmed through the front page and the second then, third until, her gaze fell on a familiar face. Wearing a prisoner's uniform, what was left of him was chained to the grey walls of Azkaban prison. "Ronald.." Hermione felt her heart tug, her fingers gently caressed his face. He had a beard and his hair was longer, he looked awfully skinny and he had dark bags under his eyes. Despite the tears pooling in her eyes, and her heart breaking, she felt a tiny glimmer of hope.
That feeling of strength lasted for only a few seconds when she continued to read the article, that talked about the youngest son of the blood traitors- Weasley family to be kissed by a Death Eater that upcoming Friday.
Hermione neatly folded the newspaper, got on her feet and returned to her room. She threw up in the bathroom twice in the following hour and then, lay in the empty bathtub, utterly paralyzed.
She wasn't sure what day it was when she finally forced herself to get out of the bathtub and stare at herself in the mirror. She hadn't eaten, nor had taken her potions. She guessed they had accumulated at her bed side table. She didn't know for how long she stood, staring at herself in the mirror and wondering why she didn't end up in Azkaban with Ronald. Maybe, she would have been lucky to get the kiss along side him.
She didn't know where she was, it felt as if she was stuck in the deep abyss and unable to pull herself out of it. And she had always managed, until that very moment.
She didn't know when he arrived. She didn't hear him call her name, or find her in the bathroom, in a trance.
"Granger" he called again.
"The elves tell me you haven't eaten since yesterday"
"Granger!"
She felt his hand on her waist, and he turned her to face him. His hands cupped her cheeks, and he was calling her name repeatedly.
"Granger, for Merlin's sake!"
Finally, she snapped out, with a long gasp. It felt like she was finally awake from a terrible, terrible dream. Her hands clung to Draco's shoulders, "Will you save him?" she begged.
He stared at her confused, his eyes wondering around her face to see if she was truly alright.
"Who?"
"Ron! Will you save him, Draco?"
He lowered his hands and took a step back. The worry that was written all over his face a moment ago was replaced by something distant and dark. Hermione stepped into his zone instead, reaching out to him with her hands.
"I saw it in the paper. They are going to kill him, Draco! They are going to execute Ron!" her chest heaved, and she clung to his robes, "And I saw you too. So, that's what you are now, Draco? Voldemort's puppet? And I thought - for a tiny second that, maybe- maybe, you are different!" she spat, her sadness, and despair were replaced by anger that she had kept locked inside for months.
"Why am I here, Draco? Why did you bring me here? Did you want to have your turn to play with the filthy mudblood?" Hermione screamed, poking his shoulder with her fingers.
"Why won't you kill me? Why won't you send me to Azkaban and let me die? Why won't you let me die?"
Draco watched her in silence. He let her scream at him, punch his chest with her fists. She looked as awful as when he first brought her to the castle. She looked frail and worse, damaged, physically and emotionally.
"Are you done, Granger? Throwing your little tantrum?" he asked, towering over her.
"No! Stop talking to me with that tone, Malfoy! Tell me the truth, for once!" she demanded, punching his chest.
"Haven't I been honest with you?" he asked, it was his time to ask questions. A frown on his face, he took a step forward, trapping her between his chest and the sink. He reached for his robes and pulled his wand out, pressing it to the side of her neck.
"Is that what this is about, Granger? All this talk about death. You want to go and die with your boyfriend?" he lowered his voice, his face so close that she could smell the firewhiskey. "After all I have done for you, you still want to go and die with him?"
"Go on Malfoy, be a man and finish the job, for once"
Draco's eyes widened and then, his lips turned into a devious smirk. "You think I haven't killed before, Granger? Or is this your attempt at bringing up my past failures? Because, you can try again, and harder because, I can assure you, I have redeemed myself in the Dark Lord's eyes and some more"
Hermione's blood turned cold, and she tried to push him away, punch her way through his chest but, he pressed the wand harder, his fingers curling around her side, squeezing awfully hard that it made her wince.
"I save you from Aunt Bella's clutches, and you throw a tantrum here, in my house over Weasley's death penalty? Do you know why he is still alive, Granger instead of rotting in some dungeon or made an example of in a town hall?" he asked, and Hermione froze, curling her fingers to hold on to the sink that was pressing against her lower back.
"It's the purity of his blood that saved him from torture. If he was a half-blood, he'd be ripped to pieces while being alive long ago but, you see, you claim I have been dishonest with you, Granger when I told you the world you once knew is no more- if you want to know what's outside, ask me instead of starving yourself and throwing a fit over someone who doesn't deserve your tears."
"I am not throwing a tantrum- and you know it, Malfoy. He is my best friend and he is going to die!" her voice trembled, and the thought of losing Ron after so many months believing that she was left all alone without him, tore heart into pieces. Just when she found out that he was alive.
"How would you feel if it was Blaise, or Pansy or Theo?"
"Luckily, we played our cards right unlike you, idiots" Hermione stared at him in shock, and tried to push him away from her but, he wouldn't budge. Instead, she felt him lean closer.
"Go on little girl, cry-" he whispered, their noses touching each other, and his breath caressing her lips. "Scream at me, or fight me all you want but nothing will change."
Hermione's strong and demanding gaze never left his, even for a second. Despite the lack of space between them, she didn't feel overwhelmed instead she accepted the challenge, and leaned even closer, their lips almost touching. "You can save him, Malfoy. Just like you saved me, you can save him too-"
His laughter boomed in the dark bathroom, and he took a step back, placing his wand back in its place. "Do you want him so badly, Granger? Do you dream of a day when you two will be free making half-blood babies together, living your little perfect cottage life?"
Hermione avoided his gaze. No, it was hard to admit but she didn't want any of that. She just wanted Ron to live. He was her best friend, her family. And if she could find a way to save him, she would.
"Draco, I will do anything you want if you save him" she hesitated for a second or two but, it was too late. His gaze darkened when he heard the magical words. "I read about you. I might not see the bigger picture because, I don't know what's going on outside but, I saw what they said about you and I know that you can save him. You saved me, you can save him too. And if you do, I will do anything you ask of me. "
Draco turned his back to her, but he didn't move. His fingers curled into fists and he hit the wall with his right hand, breathing out loud. "Granger…"
Hermione stood frozen, holding her breath.
"Anything?" he asked.
To her surprise, she was unable to speak and took about five seconds to respond, fully aware that she had just offered herself to Draco Malfoy on a silver plate. But if she could save Ron, she would do anything that was asked of her, even death.
"Anything" she nodded even though he couldn't see it.
Draco had left her in the bathroom a minute later, telling her that she needed to take her potions. And when Hermione finally stepped out of the bathroom with reddened and swollen eyes, she had to wipe the tears away for she was met with a gown laying on the bed. It was black, with a lace emerald green collar. On top of the dress, there was a note and a velvet box.
Carefully, she opened the box and inside there was a ring with a large emerald stone, surrounded by diamonds.
Hermione had to cover her mouth not to scream when she read the note and she burst into sobs, finally feeling the weight off of her shoulders.
"Anything it is. Dinner is at 7 pm. "
Author's note: I know- my writing is just awful today. I wasn't going to post it because meh but, I decided I will since I promised an update. That's why I will be reducing the updates to Wednesdays and Sundays so that, I could give you guys a more than decent read. Check my Tumblr for the dress and ring, link in my profile- btw, what do we think about Pansy? Blaise? and the snake pit as Theo calls it? - xoxo.