Kelsey returned to her weekly session with Deanna Troi. The half-Betazoid could tell the young woman had had another stressful week. She gently asked what had happened since their last appointment, taking their seats. "I wrote a lot over the weekend. I was quite happy about it. However, when Monday came around? All that happiness went out the window."

"Any particular reason?"

Sighing, she spoke in a weary voice, "Have you ever felt that no one family or friends truly care about your feelings? Do you know what its like to hear the word 'busy constantly?" That no one can take five minutes out of their day to return a message?

How hurtful it is when no one even asks once in a while how are you? If your okay? Do you know what its like to question if you even have friends?"

"I can imagine at times, its rather difficult to define what friendship is to someone. Or if people are even aware, their actions are hurtful to someone else."

"If I may be frank? I've never once been able to trust anyone in my life, honestly. I can't recall one person ever keeping their word to me. I've never had one person in my life ever work with me to resolve a problem in our relationship.

In every relationship I ever had? I've been grossly mistreated. Disrespected, abused, used, taken for granted, and ignored. Not even a slight priority to anyone. Again no one bothers to contact me first. Or attempt to get back to me.

Everyone first instinct when I've tried to convey why I'm upset? And want to work to solve the issue? They instead say their feelings are hurt, and they don't want to talk to me."

"I'm sure that's quite invaliding to your feelings. That they continue to avoid the issue. You've effectively communicated there is a problem, and again they ignore your feelings on the matter.

However, I can see how hurtful it is when the other person's first reaction is to go on the defense. Instead then communicating with you, they again avoid the issue."

"I'm also beyond furious my mother keeps insisting I forgive or let bygones be bygones," Kelsey took a deep breath before continuing. "How is it even fair to me? Again dumping everything on me? That they get a free pass to continue their harmful behavior? They want freedom while I'm chained down with my suffering.

My heart has been broken beyond repair. My soul has been shattered more then a mirror. Yet, I'm supposed to forgive and forget a lifetime of being grossly mistreated? While their negative actions continue? That they've neither acknowledged nor accepted accountability?

How is it supposed to make me less angry? Because forgiving them gives them a free pass. But I'll continue to be mistreated. So how can I forgive someone for their actions if they have no intention of ending them?"

"You've quite a lot to be angry about. Your older brother wants nothing to do with you, from what you told me. Nor does your younger sister, who won't allow you any form of relationship with your nephews."

"Yes, neither want anything to do with me. One of the worst times of my life? My younger sister's wedding. Again I'm sitting at a table full of people. But not one person looked at me. Not one person tried to include me in the conversation. I was forbidden from talking about any of my interests.

My grandpa's funeral was the same. Everyone at the dinner talked with each other, no one with me. I attempt to compliment my twin sister. They jump down my throat, saying I'd been insulting. I wasn't, but again I'm the one punished for the crime of speaking."

"I imagine you've felt very isolated and unappreciated. You said you feel ignored?"

"No one makes an effort to talk to me first. Again people don't check on me. Never ask me how my day went. Any group I've joined? I was cast out for daring to speak or even be myself. It's gotten to the point I'm not even allowed to speak about my feelings in my own words. If I do? Everyone gets angry and stops speaking to me."

"Again, I can feel how much this constant negative and invaliding behavior has effect who you are as a person. Your self-esteem is incredibly low. You're unable to trust or believe anyone has truly good intentions. Plus, you feel every word spoken to you is a lie."

"True enough. Sometimes I can't help but feel I have to do something extreme to get people to hear me finally? It's not like I haven't multiply times told them what's wrong. SO they cannot say they're uninformed."

"Do these feelings make you question your self-worth?"

"I feel I've no self-worth. That I'm not even human to anyone."

"What do you think prompts their insensitivity?"

"Well, to be honest? Maybe the only people I've ever encountered are people who lack basic human emotions. I've read stories more then once about children who commit murder. That in and of itself is shocking that a child could end someone's life.

However, it does seem some people are just born without humanity. They're sociopaths. Or some people might lack the ability to understand why their actions aren't acceptable."

"Perhaps more people don't know how to process how someone else views them. Or fail to see their unpleasant traits. So it seems a natural defense to deny any wrongdoing.

But unfortunately, no one is immune to having hurt someone's feelings. Whether its intentional or unintentional. The truth is we all have hurt others. So we need to accept that we've wronged someone if they tell us they've felt slighted."

"It seems humanity lost their ability to listen or feel empathy. Along with no one suffered consequences for their actions. They are free to do whatever they wish."

"I can't begin to understand the full scope of what you've had to endure over your lifetime. However, I can see these repeated acts of inconsideration truly have turned your life into a living hell."

"My life has been nothing but hell. Either way? I don't feel they have the right to demand I forgive them. Again if they won't even own up to what they've done to me."

"What do you plan to do next?"

"I guess go to low or no contact for a while. I doubt anyone will even notice either way. But it's all I've got."

"Okay, we shall see each other next week. I hope you feel better even though those feelings feel quite hallow, I imagine."

"Thanks for listening. See you next week."

You'll find precisely what you expect.

When I question my own perspective, this anecdote, shared by one of my teachers, reminds me to be more mindful of my thoughts.

A woman walked up to a gate of a guarded community and asked, "What kind of people are here in your community?"

The guard replied, "What kind of people are there where you're from?"

"Well, they're mean, rude, nasty, and shortsighted."

"You'll find the same people here."

A few minutes later, a second woman came to the gate. Then she asked the same question. The guard repeated his reply. The woman thought for a moment. Then answered, "They're kind, loving, authentic, and good." Again he repeated the same people who lived here. As it is so often, we find exactly what we believe we will.