Chapter 7 – The Evans Sisters

Lizzie woke up later that week in something she couldn't place. Petunia hadn't unlocked the cupboard yet so it was still dark in the crammed space. Lizzie pulled the chain for the light and looked down at herself in horror. Blood, a considerable amount of dark blood had soaked through the sheets. Her lower abdomen hurt badly and she thought something in her ruptured. Her heart raced in a panic that increased when the door wouldn't open. She banged on it harshly hoping to catch Petunia's attention. It was suddenly extremely hot in there and she had a difficult time catching her breath.

"Petunia! Tunia! Help! please!" Lizzie cried desperately. The door swung open after a moment, and Lizzie looked up at Vernon but quickly backed herself into the wall instinctually.

"I'm sorry," she said with tears streaming.

"I'm, I'm... I'm bleeding..." she said between uneven breaths. Vernon crouched down and moved her legs apart. He sighed and frowned but stared up at her reproachfully for a moment before he slammed the door again. Lizzie heard the latch lock and started crying.

She had seen her dead body in this cupboard before. It was a fear of hers that they'd forget about her completely and she would just decay here.

Petunia unlocked the door but there was no sense of urgency in her demeanor. She looked down at Lizzie and only appeared annoyed. "Get up," she said sternly. Lizzie looked up with her hand clenched over her lower abdomen like it was the most insensitive request she'd ever heard.

"You're not dying, Lizzie, get up," she ordered.

Lizzie climbed out of the cupboard and stood up awkwardly. "Get the blanket and the sheet," Petunia said gesturing to the bloody linens.

Lizzie followed Petunia to the garage where she put the sheets in a large sink and filled it with water to soak. Petunia gestured for her to take off her skirt and her knickers too to add to the water and then ushered her toward the downstairs loo.

"This happens... every month. You'll bleed like this for up to several days and then it stops. I will pick you up some napkins to wear that will catch it so it doesn't make a mess like this again," Petunia explained evenly.

"Why?" Lizzie asked, horrified.

"So you can carry a baby... eventually. It's the lining. It sheds, replenishes, sheds, again," Petunia explained as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Heads up would have been nice, Lizzie thought bitterly.

Petunia gave Lizzie a cloth she ran under warm water for her to wipe away the blood. The bruising on her backside was to be expected, but she noticed bruising on the insides of her niece's upper thighs that gave her pause. Lizzie rinsed and took the cloth to her groin but winced around a sharp pain that contrasted with the dull ache in her lower belly.

Petunia didn't say anything and left to get her something different to wear. She brought back a simple black cotton dress and a clean pair of knickers, and Lizzie pulled off her t-shirt to replace it with the dress. Petunia froze momentarily at the sight of bruising under her arms, on her lower back, and around her collar bones. She reached forward to touch one of the purple marks but pulled her hand back. Lizzie pulled the dress over her head and let it fall as though the marks were normal and didn't pay any attention to aunt's stare.

"I will go get you something to put in the knickers until I go to the store," she said and brought back a thick napkin like thing not long after. Lizzie situated herself with it and tried to compose herself better after the panic level she hit.

"Go make your uncle breakfast," Petunia whispered and Lizzie left. She watched her niece walk into the kitchen with an awkward gait and something she had long denied to herself was now painfully obvious.

That night Lizzie heard arguing from above her. Vernon and Petunia's room was closest to the top of the stairs so if she pressed her ear on the back wall, she could often clearly hear what they were saying if they were talking loud enough.

"Vernon, you can't possibly..." Petunia said timidly.

"Can't what, Petunia?" he said aggressively.

"Vernon, she could get..." Petunia continued, but Lizzie heard a smack that must have been her face, after that there was no more conversation.

The next day Lizzie was asked to put the clean clothes away upstairs and pulled down a box from a shelf in the master closet when she grabbed for a set of bedding to change the sheets. Curiosity got the better of her and she rummaged through the contents. No sooner she opened a journal with three pictures hidden in the pages. The first was of two little girls, one looked identical to her, and the other was slightly older. The back read 'Lily Pad and Tuney '70.'

They looked happy. That was the first thing she noticed. Lizzie looked through the rest of the stuff and gathered that they were the only things her aunt had left of her sister. She didn't quite understand why she hid them away the way she had.

"Lizzie, what are you doing?" She heard Petunia say from behind her. It wasn't sharp or poisonous like it usually was and she walked over slowly realizing what her niece had gotten into.

Petunia was quiet and calculating. She knelt on the floor with her and starting putting the things back in the box, but paused at each with melancholy.

"You do look just like her," she said sadly. "Your voice... singing voice... same," she whispered with a break in her own voice.

Lizzie stared at her aunt with an unprecedented amount of sympathy for a moment. "

I don't know what it is that makes me love you so... all I know is that I never want to let you go... Oh you started something, can't you see, ever since you left you got a hold on me... No matter what you do..." Petunia sang softly below a whisper.

"I only want to be with you..." Lizzie finished. It was the tune she couldn't place. Maybe there were more. Petunia shot a look of surprise at her.

"She sang that to you too? She loved that song. Dusty Springfield. Played it on repeat until we all went mad," Petunia laughed.

She suddenly went quiet and somber. "He takes a long time to go get water at night," she whispered and Lizzie froze. "Do you even know what's going on?" She asked. Lizzie nodded and fought back tears. Petunia seemed deadlocked in her conflicted thoughts as she shook her head reproachfully. Lizzie thought for a moment she might be on her side.

"What are you doing?" They heard a sharp voice ask behind them. Petunia startled and tossed everything into the box quickly.

Vernon came around in front of them and crouched down to take a look. "Petunia why do you have these?" He asked shortly.

"I - I just never got around to throwing them out," she lied.

"Azalea, get out," he snapped.

"Now!" He roared. She didn't notice the anger in his eyes until she stood up to leave the room. The door clicked shut behind her and locked.

There was protest from Petunia that Lizzie would never have gotten away with.

"I told you to get rid of everything!" He yelled.

"I'm sorry, I -" she started to say but Lizzie heard a smack that made her heart skip. She listened at the door; she'd never heard him strap her that she could remember. It made Lizzie cry. For that brief sentimental interaction she'd just had with her aunt, Lizzie felt she could take it for her.

Vernon opened the door several minutes later and grabbed Lizzie's arm. She looked back at Petunia.

"I'm sorry! Are you ok?" She asked desperately while he marched her toward the stairs. Petunia was wiping her face dry and gave Lizzie a murderous glare. Her hatred for her niece was boiling over and she shut the door harshly. Vernon shoved her into the cupboard and slammed the door.

Lizzie heard it unlatch several hours later and went to the kitchen for some water. It was probably Petunia because the steps were light on the way back up. Lizzie looked over at the counter and saw the bottle of sedatives. Usually these were locked in a cabinet, so someone purposely left then out. Lizzie took them in her hand and stared for a long time.

What she was thinking about doing scared her senseless. She thought about Melody, why she did it, and understood completely. She wasn't the only one who had.

Not a soul in the world loves me.
Not a soul in the world would miss me.
There is nothing better out there.
Only way out forever.
I hope I find them up there.

She took four quickly and then poured more into her hand. When she looked up, she startled at the sight of a very real looking girl, in all respects identical to herself, less the distinct pair of white eyes staring back at her. Lizzie found herself in somewhat of a trance, poured the pills in her hand back into the bottle and then back in the cabinet. When she turned around the girl was gone, but the room spun with the lethal mix of too many pills and rush of adrenaline, and she hit the kitchen floor with a thud.

Lizzie woke up in the cupboard but the door was locked, meaning someone found her and shut her in here anyway. She had thrown up at some point, and couldn't see very well through feeling utterly disoriented.

She rapped on the inside of the door repeatedly until someone opened it. Petunia appeared in a fog in front of her and pulled her up out of the cupboard, collected the bedding for wash and ushered her to the bathroom.

Lizzie felt her clothes strip away. Cold water from a shower she was now sitting in shocked her into a little bit more awareness and she threw up again in the toilet while her aunt tried to dry her off. Petunia pulled clothes onto her and ushered her into the dining room.

"Sit," her uncle said. Now I'm definitely dead, she thought in a daze.

Petunia set down a coffee mug in front of her and told her to drink. Deader than dead, she thought again. Lizzie stared off blankly in a direction askew from them wondering what she did to land in this layer of hell with them.

"Azalea," Vernon said evenly. She didn't respond.

"For God's sake, Azalea," he said again.

"Lizzie!" He spat, and she broke her daze to look at him.

"Don't worry, you're not going to be punished," he said calmly. "I'm surprised you didn't take more. I've already told the school to put you on watch," he said.

The words only partially registered. "Why?" She asked in a dry voice.

"Because that's a sin," he said shortly, but there was something else, Lizzie knew there was something else. He didn't personally care if she died, surely he didn't.

"Your chores are light today, get some air," he offered.

Lizzie drank the coffee absently feeling unable to move at all. She buried her face in her arms. "You would have just let me die, wouldn't you?" She asked.

They were quiet. "That would be up to God," he said simply, and left the room.