"Wait, so nobody has to take class with her anymore?" Rosalie asked.
It was before 'breakfast' was set to start, though Carlisle rather doubted that Bella would be appearing at breakfast on time today. She'd had a very late night and had gone through-well, very strenuous activity.
Even if she woke up in time, she would be even sorer now. Walking would take a while.
God, he was actually glad Edward had left. He would not have been able to keep this from him. Edward had left and Alice was miles away. For once, his family was afforded a privacy that the rest of the world took for granted.
Just, the thought of Marcus…
He was not going to be over that anytime soon.
Regardless, Rosalie and Emmett had come to Esme's room. Rosalie set on bitterly complaining over what she had assumed would be Emmett's fate only for Carlisle to tell her that it was, according to Aro, no longer necessary.
Carlisle schooled his features into the somber look of a doctor about to break terrible news. "Yes, I'm sorry. But after last night's discovery…"
Rosalie laughed, "Oh, don't be, please that class was terrible."
Emmett actually looked very sorry, "But I had this whole thing planned! Babe, it was going to be hilarious. I was going to play 'Sexy Back' as soon as he started stripping, oh, and I was going to make it rain-"
"I was talking about the cancer," Carlisle said with his teeth clenched.
Rosalie, Emmett, and Esme all stared at him in blinking confusion. As if this news had nothing to do with them.
"She seems fine to me!" Rosalie said. "It can't be very advanced."
Carlisle could not believe her. "Yes it is, it's liver cancer, and it has spread to her gallbladder, spleen, and intestines. It's a miracle Bella is as well as she is, and you, with your medical degree, know that, Rosalie."
Rosalie continued to look unimpressed, she spared a look for Emmett, who apparently voiced her question for her, "Uh, shouldn't they just turn her then? Isn't that kind of the whole point?"
Carlisle resisted the urge to sigh. "No, Rosalie, the point is for Bella to grow loyal to the Volturi and want to be turned. Now, I'll give that death is one hell of a motivator, but desperation is no foundation for a loyal guard, at least, it's not good enough for Aro. He wants to keep her human for as long as possible."
Rosalie seemed to debate keeping her silence for a moment, before damning it all and noting, "I don't see how that's our problem. Look, Carlisle, I understand you feel bad for her, but she's just one human. And hey, the Volturi are saving her from an agonizing death, eventually, but that has nothing to do with us or even you."
"It has nothing to do with you," Carlisle agreed, "but I do have a medical degree."
He placed his fingers together and, feeling like the world's greatest hypocrite, said, "I swore an oath, Rosalie. I have a duty to this girl to help her through the rough times ahead."
"No, Carlisle, this is ridiculous," Rosalie said, "It's one thing to play human with the human while she still has a chance. Now? We're not even talking to her, we're not even taking classes with her. If they want to send her to a doctor then send her to a human hospital."
At seeing Carlisle's lack of wavering resolve she blurted, "Edward is a mess, Carlisle! He needs you far more than this girl does."
"Edward knows he can reach me on the phone any time he likes, and he has all the rest of you," Carlisle said patiently.
"That is not the same thing," Rosalie spat, "He needs you home, we need you home, and I'd bet ten dollars that this girl doesn't even know your name!"
"Rosalie, my mind is made up. I'm staying, but the rest of you should leave."
"Like hell," Rosalie snarled. She stepped closer, and, so that passing eavesdroppers would not be able to hear, hissed, "You really think we're leaving you in this place? Carlisle," she dropped her voice even further, "I do not trust these people, and you shouldn't either! I can't believe you're friends with Aro in the first place, surely you can see that he's-" she gestured in the air, "Sinister!"
Carlisle inclined his head. True, Aro tended to be a bit sinister sometimes. "That may be so," he agreed, "but you have no business here and, frankly, as I'm going to be very busy from here on out you would only really be in the way."
"Carlisle, what's more important?" Rosalie asked, slamming her hands on a table, "Your family or this one, human, stranger you've known for two days?"
For the first time since he'd started talking (since he'd started lying through his teeth), Carlisle actually felt thrown off and taken aback, "Those aren't mutually exclusive, Rosalie. I can care about my work, my patients, about people, and still care about my family. I don't have to choose between you."
"It's not the same and you know it!" Rosalie insisted.
Carlisle shook his head in incredulity. "You and Emmett go off on your honeymoons all the time, you don't see me asking if– if– Paris is more important than I am!"
"I think," Emmett interjected, "What Rose means to say here is that we're all a bit surprised by you wanting to be on your own without us."
"Well can't I?" Carlisle balked, so off-balance the horrible truth just came gushing out, "You can go off on your own, fine, but the moment I suggest going anywhere by myself it all falls to pieces? I'm suddenly accused of leaving the family?"
Emmett looked very unhappy.
Deeply, deeply, unhappy.
Then, in the tone of a man being forced to say the most unthinkable thing in the world, he said, very quietly, "Why were you being so secretive about Aro last night?"
Carlisle blinked.
Damn it all.
If the secret got out now, this early in the game, because of Carlisle, then Aro might actually murder him. Or at least never speak to him again.
"I wasn't being secretive."
Esme bit her lip, looked away, and said, "You told Edward you were doing laundry."
"I-" Carlisle cut himself off, and decided to go with something a little closer to the truth, "Look, Aro panicked, his-the object of this entire operation, which he's put months of effort into, is now dying. He didn't want word to get around until I could confirm what was happening, and he wanted me to talk to her first before anyone else. That's her right, that I'm even telling you now is, in a sense, betraying her confidence."
"But why was he in his bathrobe?" Rosalie asked slowly.
Carlisle sent a quick prayer to the Lord that he would survive this conversation.
"Because when Aro panics he takes immediate action," Carlisle said with a sigh, "He happened to be in the baths when he heard the news and of course the first thing he does, before even putting on a pair of pants, is come rushing to my door. I assure you, I was shocked."
Esme looked conflicted, shifting in her seat, but gave a hesitant nod at Rosalie's questioning glance. Confirming that, yes, Carlisle was surprised when he'd opened the door to see Aro in a bathrobe.
Propositioning him, no less.
"And now you want us all to leave so you can be alone with… Bella?" Rosalie asked, and Carlisle felt like, somehow, his long-dead heart found a way to stop beating.
Oh, oh god.
This looked bad.
This looked… irredeemably bad.
But he had no way of explaining further that would clear him of suspicion, without also letting them know the truth.
He realized with exponentially growing horror that if he didn't convince them now, and he very well might not, then he would simply have to take the fall.
He took a deep breath, he had to try, "You can stay, if you like. I would simply think, rather than watch a girl waste away from cancer, have to lie to her face every day and pretend that everything's perfectly fine, that you would rather return home. Make no mistake, this will not be pleasant."
"How did you diagnose her?" Rosalie asked, knowing full well Carlisle wouldn't have the chance to send any bloodwork or biopsies to any labs.
"Aro has a lab," Carlisle lied without missing a beat. "We did an ultrasound first, confirmed there was something there, and then I pulled a biopsy."
"He has a lab?" Emmett asked.
"Aro has everything," Carlisle explained, and this part was true, he had genuinely been surprised when Aro had not, in fact, had a laboratory somewhere in the palace.
He and Rosalie stared at one another. It was clear that Rosalie suspected he was lying, though what, exactly, she suspected was unclear. He did not think she suspected homosexuality just yet, not of Carlisle. But she knew something was amiss. It was also undoubtedly clear to her that Carlisle had no intention of confessing to the true nature of what was happening.
No, especially not to her. News that Bella was possibly pregnant with Marcus' child, after all she had been through, after all she had lost-
He couldn't do that to her.
However, she would never realize the favor he was doing her, that Aro was in fact doing her, by keeping this pipe dream out of her reach.
"We're staying," she said after scrutinizing him for another long moment.
"Alright," Carlisle said, as if it were no skin off his nose, "Stay. But be nice to her, for God's sake, the girl is dying. She's going to need friends in the times ahead."
"Isn't that what the Volturi are for?" Rosalie asked with a look of distaste.
Carlisle let in a sharp breath at that.
"Really?" he breathed, for a moment forgetting all about his lies, that it even was a lie. He stared at her, seeing his own wide-eyed, horrified reflection in her eyes. "She's young, almost as young as you were, and she's dying from a terrifying disease, surrounded by strangers. Doesn't– doesn't that mean anything to you?"
"Carlisle," Rosalie said with a sigh, "We can't be bothered with every dying human that crosses our path. People die, it's sad but-that's just how it is. And they're going to turn her into a vampire anyways, so it's all sort of moot point, isn't it?"
Carlisle nearly, very nearly, said a horrible thing he would have regretted about the human Rosalie Lilian Hale perhaps not deserving empathy, then, following that same logic.
But he could never forget that sight when he found her, never forget how awful he'd felt for her, how desperate he'd been to help her, to do anything and everything he could for this poor soul.
Instead, very quietly, he said, "Well, it means something to me, and if you're going to stay then I'd appreciate if you try. If you have no intention of doing even that-well, you might as well go home before you see the worst of it."
Then he left, not wanting to hear another word. He wasn't sure he was up to it.
It was several hours later that Bella tracked him and Aro down in the library. She smiled as she sat herself down opposite them on a bench.
She pulled out a pen and a notebook, and wrote in small, uneven letters, "Can we talk?"
She then held it up for them, not knowing they'd already read it.
Aro smiled, and got up from his chair. "Follow me," he said. Turning back to Carlisle, he raised an eyebrow, looking pointedly at the books they'd been pouring through.
Carlisle nodded, and stacked them, following after Aro and Bella as he led her through the maze of shelves, leading to one of the conservation rooms Aro had set up, where the oxygen and moisture levels were kept at the perfect level in the hopes of sustaining some of Aro's more fragile parchment scrolls for as long as possible.
Aro carefully opened the hatches, and let her through.
Bella looked around herself with wide eyes. "Your childhood drawings?" she asked, pointing at a scroll with hieroglyphs and Iris.
"Regrettably, no," Aro said, "Although those were fabulous, I assure you. Of course, my potterer uncle was never very happy when I scribbled all over his merchandise, but that was his problem. No, these were from a library in Alexandria."
Carlisle interjected before Aro could get onto a tangent about either Alexandria, his uncle, or his artistic abilities, "You wanted to talk, Bella?"
Bella nodded. "Yeah. About lots of things, really, starting with the werewolves in Forks. But also, I suppose, about the…" she gestured towards the general area of her stomach. Her womb, of course, was lower, but Carlisle wasn't about to correct her.
Aro closed his eyes, "While I'd also love to discuss the werewolves in Forks, and believe me I very much would, I think the second item on your list must come first."
Carlisle nodded. "We haven't found anything so far. However, I've been able to purchase most of the components we'll need to analyze your blood and the amniotic sac, as well as an MRI. And other things. It should all arrive within the week." And then, of course, they'd have to figure out a way to smuggle an MRI machine into the dungeons without anybody noticing.
Carlisle had more or less purchased an entire hospital, complete with an operating room, on Aro's dime. Aro clearly hadn't been happy about parting with that much money in one fell swoop, however, he apparently was willing to do nearly anything for Marcus' sake.
Carlisle assured him that, the next time Aro invited a human into the castle who got pregnant by a vampire, Aro would now have all the necessary equipment to deal with it.
Besides, who knew, the secretaries might hurt themselves, and it would be nice to not have to drive them to a hospital.
Of course, the bill would get even longer once Carlisle figured out an alloy for venom syringes. He had never tried it before, and Aro had never seen the need, but…
There had been instances of humans so badly injured, the venom did not have the time to heal them before they passed. Jane, Aro had confessed, had nearly been one such. He'd all but given up on her, and really only bit her so he'd be able to tell her brother that the effort had been made, but she'd pulled through.
The chilling thought remained that should Bella's pregnancy take a turn for the worse, if she was in fact pregnant at all which was still very much in debate, then biting her might not be enough to save her.
"You know, Carlisle," Aro said, having briefly brushed Carlisle's hand and caught his thoughts, "You could have your Alice foot the bill for some of this nightmare."
"No, I can't," Carlisle said with a wry smile, "She'd ask questions and you know it."
Aro smiled back, and made a noise at the back of his throat. "And I just let Heidi buy a new yacht."
It was going to be a very expensive year for Volterra. Carlisle patted him on the shoulder, being so good as to not mention that this was, in fact, all Aro's fault. Had Aro figured out that Bella knew then Marcus never would have had the chance to have sex with a human who might get pregnant.
"You're still thinking it," Aro muttered.
"But I didn't say it," Carlisle noted, "And that's the most important thing."
"Debatable."
"Right, so, pregnant?" Bella asked, "Not pregnant?"
Carlisle and Aro looked at each other. Aro gave Carlisle a look, one that clearly said that Carlisle was on his own due to his medical expertise.
Carlisle sighed, "That ultrasound was-highly convincing. I can't say for sure, and all prior evidence points to the contrary, but-I think it's very telling that I chose to purchase medical equipment at all."
He then nodded to himself. "We'll try the ultrasound again later today, see if there are any changes."
Bella made a face, clearly not thrilled with that idea, but frankly Carlisle had no pity for her, "You'd best get used to it, Bella. If you're going to have sex then you're going to have doctors looking at your-sexual organs."
"Will you be looking at Marcus' sexual organs, then?"
Carlisle almost choked.
God, should he? Carlisle hadn't even considered that. It-Well, ordinarily he wouldn't see much of a point. Vampires didn't have the same health concerns that humans did, not to mention Aro knew just as much about vampire physiology that Carlisle himself did. But if anything then this episode had shown him how very much he didn't know and couldn't take for granted.
Oh, god.
He was going to have to ask Marcus to give him a sperm sample.
He touched Aro's hand. Carlisle was a very brave man, and a true professional, but some things–
Yes, Aro was going to have to be his nurse going forwards, and that meant Aro would be doing jobs like this.
"I'm sorry," Aro said, "Are you asking me to ask my brother to ejaculate into a bottle, so you can– oh, gods, no."
"Oh, gods, yes." Carlisle quipped back. "You brought Bella here. He's your brother."
"I am not equipped for this," Aro said, "I do not have your medical training. I have never been to medical school. I have never even tried my hand at being a village healer."
Carlisle then had another, horrible, thought strike him, "Aro, have you ever read 'Superman vs. Woman of Kleenex'?"
He squeezed Aro's hand, knowing that if Aro hadn't, then Aro now knew to search Carlisle's memories for it. Aro's face cycled through several shades of disgust and horror.
"No," he said.
"That sperm is over three thousand years old," Carlisle noted, "I have no idea if it's his original sperm or if, he has in fact, been producing sperm since he was turned. In which case, given our composition, I have no idea what that sperm is composed of."
"Marcus is how old?" Bella asked, her eyes bugging out.
Aro ignored her. "Marcus was sexually active up until two thousand years ago," he said, his voice oddly thin, as if this made him just as uncomfortable as Marcus having sex with Bella. "It's not his… original… sperm."
Aro looked heavenward, a look of true despair in his eyes as he contemplated Marcus' sex life and what had happened to that sperm.
Carlisle couldn't even fathom that. Just, the very idea, that at some point Marcus had had sex with somebody. He was still trying to wrap his head around what had happened with Bella.
"Well then, I repeat, I have no idea what's in it and neither do you. Venom is a very strange, powerful, and dare I say pervasive substance."
Aro pouted. He actually pouted.
"If it makes you feel better, I think you and I should provide samples as well. And Caius. Or…" Carlisle briefly contemplated asking Caius, "or maybe not Caius. But the more we know, the better."
"You're making this worse," Aro noted, "Every detail you utter is making this worse. And I suppose we should stick Sulpicia in the MRI to see what in the blazes is happening in her ovaries."
That-Carlisle hadn't thought about that. But that was a very good point. Female vampires didn't menstruate, but if Marcus had live sperm, then there was no telling what had happened to the eggs of a female vampire turned in her reproductive prime.
(Though, if those eggs were in any condition to survive-Carlisle was not quite sure what he would do or what, if anything, he could tell Rosalie.
It would have to be another one of the dark, dreadful, secrets kept in his family.)
"We'll do that," he nodded, and Aro whined. "And Athenodora, Renata, and Corin, as well, if they agree to it. If they were bitten at different points in their respective cycles, this could give us an indicator of what venom does to our reproductive systems."
Aro continued to pout. "I feel…" he didn't even have the words for it, he just looked deeply upset.
Carlisle patted him on the shoulder again. "You're a thirty-five centuries year old man, you'll be fine."
Aro only shook his head. "I don't see you walking up to Renata asking her to jump into an MRI machine so we can look at her ovaries. Or– god. God, Carlisle, you won't do a vaginal ultrasound on her. You wouldn't, would you?"
He looked beseechingly up into Carlisle's face. Funny, how a man who so gracefully justified killing and devouring men, women, and children, could crumble in the face of his bodyguard having her privacy invaded.
Carlisle's face spoke for itself.
"Obviously, no one will be put through anything they don't consent to," Carlisle reassured him, "but I'm going to have to ask."
"But she's so nice! She'll say yes!" Aro appeared devastated at the very notion.
Carlisle only patted Aro on the shoulder for a third time.
"Well," Bella said after a beat, "I'm glad we're making history here."
"Oh gods, yes, I'm going to have to write the histories," Aro whined, "All of this, every absurd detail, will be in my goddamned histories. And then no one will be allowed to read it, so I'll just sit around rereading it myself, feeling awful."
Bella didn't look particularly impressed. She gave Carlisle a look, then glanced back at the very distraught Aro, "You could always not write it?"
Aro gave her a look like she could not possibly have missed the point any more.
"He's gonna write it," Carlisle said, before Aro and Bella could start bickering.
"Right, so, when are we telling Marcus?" Bella asked, "It was-Kind of weird in class today."
Carlisle grimaced. "After tonight's ultrasound? Oh, oh, Bella, I forgot to tell you," he realized.
Truthfully, Carlisle would prefer after the blood work but-no, if that ultrasound came out the same then he'd convince himself. Against all odds, against every preconceived notion Carlisle had possessed, Bella was pregnant. And he could always just tell Marcus that it wasn't a 100% done deal.
Even though it would be.
Bella frowned. "Forgot to tell me what?"
"Ah– so, I may have told my family that you have cancer. Ah, terminal cancer, you're dying. Painfully."
Bella looked very upset by that. "Why? Why would you say that? Oh my god, do you think that's what's gonna happen to me? I'll waste away like a cancer patient, then die?"
Carlisle had no idea what the hell was going to happen to her but he wasn't going to say as much only one day in. Where he was still cheerfully holding out hope that she might not be pregnant.
Who knew, perhaps that gestational sac-looking thing in her womb had in fact been a tumor, and then he wouldn't have been lying to his family. A-very odd tumor that happened to look exactly like a gestational sac.
"We need to get rid of them," Aro explained with a sigh, "Without getting rid of Carlisle, of course."
"No, not get rid of them," Carlisle said with a grimace, "It's just that they can't know about this, but I'll be busy with you and can't be wasting time dodging and reassuring them."
Bella opened her mouth, glanced at Aro, then back at Carlisle, "You told them I had cancer before breakfast?"
"Yes," Carlisle said.
"... I don't think they care," Bella said hesitantly.
Carlisle sighed miserably. "Look, they're– they have their– look–" he stuttered, but all that came to mind when he tried to think of an excuse for them was Rosalie's outraged face, and the bizarre ultimatum she'd put before him.
"You're right, they don't care, he's in denial." Aro said sweetly, and smiled up at Carlisle.
"Oh," Bella said, "Oh boy."
"Look, if you wish to discuss Carlisle's family," Aro said, "Then you'd best ask either me or Marcus. Though I love Carlisle dearly, he has issues seeing them as they are, even when the truth is utterly undeniable."
"Aro–" Carlisle began in a warning tone, but decided against it. There was no point in bickering with the man, certainly not in front of Bella.
His family would simply have to prove they were better than Aro thought they were.
That might actually be an upside to them sticking around. They were totally in the way, but if they insisted on being totally in the way then they could at the very least prove Aro wrong in the meantime.
Even though they had completely ignored Bella at breakfast, even going so far as to glare at her, when they thought she was dying of cancer.
"They're not going to prove me wrong, dear," Aro said, "And we do need to get rid of them. If the stick doesn't work, then I suggest the carrot."
Carlisle frowned. "The carrot?"
The carrot, if Aro meant to lure them out of Volterra, was already in place. His name was Edward, he was in Denali and he needed his family.
"Edward, apparently, is not incentive enough," Aro said, "Can't imagine why, lovable chap that he is."
If looks could kill, Aro would… perhaps not be quite dead, but a human man would certainly be experiencing heart palpitations.
"Your daughter Rosalie," Aro mused aloud, "She loves her cars. She's the driving force among the remaining three, too. Emmett follows her and Esme looks to her for leadership as well in Edward's absence and your… perceived poor judgment."
"I don't think a new car is going to be enough," Carlisle said, mystified.
"Oh, I'm not talking about a new car," Aro said with a manic grin, "You've spent enough of my money for one day."
"Then what?"
Aro's grin grew ever wider. "Why, we commit arson and light up all her cars and other earthly possessions, of course."
Carlisle, at first, had no idea what Aro could mean. Because surely, this was a metaphor. He then realized it wasn't a metaphor.
"No," Carlisle said.
"Yes," Aro interjected, "It's fine, you have plenty of houses, we'll only burn down one."
"No," Carlisle repeated, "Rosalie loves-"
"Her cars, yes," Aro continued, "Which is why she'll run home if they're threatened."
"Esme-" Carlisle squawked desperately.
"Esme will want to salvage what can be salvaged, and then restore the ruins. Isn't restoration her great hobby?"
That wasn't what Carlisle meant and he knew it. Esme put her heart and soul into each and every house they built. Every one had so many memories for them, for her, they were works of art to her. Her children as much as Edward, Rosalie, and the others.
Any one of her houses burning to the ground-it'd be an unspeakable tragedy.
"And if we choose the one you have in Vermont, then Emmett loses his retro video game collection. Plus, Rosalie has no less than twenty-five cars stored there, all of them vintage."
It wasn't Rosalie and Emmett he was particularly worried about.
They'd be incredibly upset, unbelievably upset, but they would recover. Emmett would find a way to purchase games and systems not produced anymore and Rosalie would rebuild her cars from scratch if she had to.
Esme, though-
"Look," Aro said, and stepped closer to Carlisle, "Your houses are not long for this world anyway. You will have to part with your material possessions soon enough, and when that day comes, your Esme will be devastated, no way to avoid that. This way, however, you at the very least open the window for preparing her for the inevitable.
"I can't approve this," Carlisle said, shaking his head.
This would be-it would be as great a betrayal as any he could think of. Second, perhaps, to sleeping with Aro behind Esme's back.
He couldn't do this to her.
"Let me put it this way," Aro said after a beat, "You don't have a choice. I am doing it, whether you like it or not, and if you don't choose a house then I will choose one for you."
Carlisle felt…
Like he might actually have felt less bad about himself if he'd actually gone ahead and slept with Aro. That, at least, wouldn't have been a purely destructive act.
This, though–
Not only to destroy something his sweet, utterly unassuming and kind wife loved, but to then not be there for her afterwards, perhaps not for several months.
"Wait," he realized in a sudden, hopeful, epiphany, "Alice will see this. That you're even considering this at all…"
Oh, oh thank god. Alice would see, Rosalie would rush home before the destruction could occur. Carlisle was now mildly surprised that Rosalie hadn't come rushing to find him already, telling him about the imminent destruction of their property that demanded the family return to Vermont.
"Not if I outsource it," Aro chirped. "I have a man in Toronto, he can be in Vermont committing arson in no time. And then Alice will see him committing arson, at his leisure, if she sees it at all. Don't her visions center around people, not objects?"
"Do you want to burn down my house?!" Carlisle asked.
"... Yes," Aro said after a beat, "Yes, I'm afraid I do." He shrugged infinitesimally. "What can I say, I've had a very stressful week and you're asking me to collect Marcus' sperm."
Carlisle couldn't even with him.
"Besides," Aro added quietly, "Arson is fun. Always has been. I love setting things on fire, it's one of the few hobbies Caius and I have in common."
"That does not make this better!" Carlisle spat.
Bella raised a hand, "I could sit at your table at meals?"
Carlisle and Aro turned to look at her as one. She didn't take the words back, "Pretend I really want to be their best friends. Come over for slumber parties after class? I guarantee it, they'll probably leave."
That-
That was actually not the worst idea Carlisle had heard all day.
"While dying of cancer," Bella added, "Which I'll be very emotional about. That has to make it infinitely worse. Oh, and put me in a very sad looking wheelchair. I'll wheel over very slowly, and then once I feel like I've gotten to know them I'll start asking Rosalie to push me."
God, that-
That might work, and Carlisle hated that that might work, and that he was even admitting as much to himself.
He'd hated the idea of it this morning, but he genuinely didn't think they could handle that.
Aro was beaming at her. "Have I told you, Isabella Swan, that you are one of my favorite people? Easily my favorite human of the past several thousand years."
Bella blushed at the compliment. "You don't mean that," she said.
"I do!" Aro insisted, and nothing in the world was more sincere than his smile. "You're remarkable, and I've never met anyone quite like you."
"That's very nice," Carlisle said, his face now covered by his hand, wishing that Aro was complimenting Bella on something other than using her feeble, human, condition and cry for decent human sympathy to drive his family away.
"It is, oh my god. You're so sweet," Bella told Aro, who shook his head at the compliment.
"Alright," Carlisle said before this could go any further, "Alright, yes, Bella, you are hereby invited to our lunch table. Do your worst."
"Insist on talking about the early signs that you had cancer, that you missed," Aro said with a grin, "And explain about the symptoms you're currently having, and Carlisle's treatment plans for you."
"That's actually not such a good idea," Carlisle interjected, "Rosalie has a medical degree. Er…" he frowned.
"Just complain, then," Aro said. "Complain about your very mundane, boring life. Oh, I know, tell her about Jessica. That'll torment them, I'm sure."
"I think I'll just talk about boys or something," Bella said, "Rosalie will judge me."
"I think we all do, Bella, just a bit. Not a lot of people like them petrified and older than Rome."
"Glass houses, my dear Carlisle," Aro quipped, not dropping his smile.
Carlisle glared, but dammit, he had nothing to say to that. Glass houses.
Bella's eyes widened as she looked between the two of them.
"Laundry and pizza?" Bella asked after a beat.
It took a second for Carlisle to even remember what she was referring to. Oh, oh god, oh no. Oh, damn everything and everyone and why had Carlisle even opened his mouth? Clearly, he should never be allowed to speak again. Ever.
Aro laughed.
Carlisle wondered, yet again, just what he had done to deserve this mess.
He sent Bella a bashful look. "Yes, we used to sleep together, no, we don't anymore. Three centuries ago, to be clear. No plans of– of recommencing."
Bella blushed a very deep red, and her eyes were wide as saucers.
She then eyed Carlisle, something calculating in her expression, "I'm going to guess the answer is no, but since we're throwing ideas out there, and I assume they all know about it… Is that up for lunch table discussion?"
"No!" Carlisle yelled.
"They don't know," Aro explained.
"They don't know?" Bella asked, "How do they not know?! You've spent the past two days holding hands!"
"That's not– not romantic," Carlisle said, pointedly holding up Aro's hand, "It's his superpower. Tactile telepathy, when he's in physical contact with someone he reads their minds. Every thought they've ever had, in fact."
"So you just casually let him know your every thought, every single thought you've ever had, all the time?" Bella asked, "While staring him in the eye?"
Carlisle looked to Aro for assistance.
Aro, who was too busy laughing to help him out.
Bella pointed at him, "He's seen you have sex with your wife!"
"That's– god. Bella, everyone does this. Everyone holds hands with him. It's not just me. Marcus does it, Caius is the single straightest man I've ever seen and he does it, all of Aro's servants do it. We all do it."
"I've never even met this Caius person," Bella pointed out, "And I've never seen Marcus holding his hand, and I've met Marcus and Aro. And they definitely weren't holding hands after my foray into womanhood in the bathtub."
Aro held his available hand over his mouth to cover his giggles.
"Look," Carlisle said, "Aro and I are close, there's no denying that. However, it's purely platonic now, what happened in the past is in the past. My family doesn't know, and I'd like to keep it that way."
"You've got to tell them," Bella said, shaking her head in dismay, "Look, I might not be good with people, but they will figure this out. And if they don't hear it from you-There's going to be a lot of assumptions made about what 'laundry' means. As it is, I'm sitting here wondering what 'laundry' means."
Yes, well, Bella did not know Carlisle's family.
Besides, they'd gotten through Jasper's backstory without realizing he'd slept with far more people than just Maria, so Carlisle really did have his doubts about their ability to figure this one out.
""Laundry" means "Marcus had sex with a human"," Carlisle deadpanned, ignoring the other things she said.
"Does it?" Bella asked, "Because the way I remember, you guys showed up at my door a few hours after the sex with Marcus."
"We were cleaning the pool," Aro explained. "As you and Marcus left some… evidence."
"Nothing less sexual than scrubbing tiles and listening to Aro cry over said tiles, Bella, I assure you."
Bella, however, was not convinced, "Yeah, he was in a bathrobe, on his knees. Scrubbing."
"You see Marcus naked all the time, Bella, hardly sexual," Carlisle retorted.
"Marcus is a professional," Bella said, "And if you'll remember, we did, eventually, have sex."
"Well," Carlisle said, scraping the bottom of the barrel at this point, "He hasn't had sex with Renata yet."
Aro gagged, "Oh, oh no, oh please don't even suggest that for poor Renata."
"Look," Bella said, throwing her hands in the air, "Do as you please. I won't rat you out. But I'm telling you, this one's gonna blow up in your face, my man."
Carlisle only shook his head at her.
"In Carlisle's defense," Aro said, "It would be an unmitigated disaster were his family to find out. Especially Edward."
"You mean Esme," Bella corrected.
"Oh no," Aro said with glee, "I mean Edward."
"Alright," Carlisle said, "That's enough."
Judging by the looks on Bella and Aro's faces, no, it was not enough. He had the terrible, horrible, suspicion that Bella might just take Aro up on his previous offer to gossip about Carlisle's family behind Carlisle's back. And Aro, shameless as he was, would tell her everything.
He hated them both.
"Do we even have anything left to talk about?" He asked in irritation. "Because if not, then I'd like to get back to my research. To save a certain someone's life."
"Right, I'm probably pregnant," Bella said, "We're telling Marcus tonight, after the second ultrasound. I'm going to try to drive out the Cullens but I can't use the nuclear weapon you've so lovingly gifted to me. Although… you know, I have to point out, if you really want your family gone, you could just resume your affair with Aro."
Aro burst out laughing.
"They would definitely leave if you did that," Bella pointed out, her lips twitching.
"No," Aro said, shaking with laughter, "Sadly, they would hold interventions. Many, many, interventions. Oh, but it'd be very funny."
Carlisle wasn't even going to acknowledge any of that.
"I'm leaving," Carlisle announced, standing and opening the door to the rest of the library, "Goodbye."
"See you at lunch," Bella called after him, "All five hours of it. We can discuss my treatment in front of your family?"
Damn the girl.