The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 38

by Derald Snyder

"Welcome back to Leanbox Ninja Warrior!" Kratt Wiseman announced, "And we're just about to start Stage 2! Ten competitors have made it past Stage 1, how many will be left standing after this stage?"

"Unfortunately, that answer will have to wait, for me," stated Vert. "It's about time for me to return to the Basilicom. A goddess' work is never done, after all..."

"Well, we thank you for coming on today, Lady Vert!" Kratt acknowledged as he and Admiral shook hands with the CPU. "It's been a real honor..."

"And as we say goodbye to Lady Vert, we say hello to Stage 2!" said Admiral. "We start with the Ring Swing, followed by the Down-Up Salmon Ladder!"

"Then it's the Wave Runner, the Butterfly Wall, and the brutal Double Wedge, finishing with the Weighted Walls, 95, 115, and 135 pounds respectively to the finish buzzer!" Kratt finished. "Who among these ten challengers can make it to Stage 3? We're about to find out!"

"And here comes the first challenger!" Admiral said as a male NPC walked onto the start platform. "Let's see if he shows the other nine how to do it, or how NOT to do it!"

*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*

Peach, Adrian, and the others watched as the shadow-man grabbed the first ring and swung across to the anchor hook, then transferred to the second ring, repeating the process for the third and final ring... Successfully transferring to the platform, he took a moment to rest, before grasping the bar on the Down-up Salmon Ladder. Hanging down, the NPC started working his way down the first ladder, before turning himself around and transferring the bar to the second ladder, then working his way back up, before transferring to a hanging steel bar.

"And now, the Wave Runner!" Kratt announced. The obstacle consisted of two flat boards hanging in the air, the first in a slight wave shape, the second starting off narrow but widening towards the end. The NPC competitor grabbed onto the first board with both hands, making sure not to tilt too far one way or the other, lest he get dumped in the drink... After steadying himself, he started shimmying forward to the other end... but when he tried to transfer to the next board, he missed his grab and fell into the water!

FAIL

"He couldn't make the transition!" Kratt lamented.

"That second board's tricky, the one end's a lot narrower than it looks!" Admiral pointed out. "He failed to get a good grip, and he got all wet!"

Down near the start platform, Peach, Adrian and the others watched as the NPC pulled himself from the water, cursing his failure. "Good thing I didn't go first, I probably would've made the same mistake," the blonde observed.

"I probably would have too, had I gotten that far," Sergei agreed.

"Guess we can chalk that one up under 'what not to do,' huh?" iPad stated.

"Indeed," iPhone nodded. "Let's see how the next competitor performs," she indicated another NPC walking onto the start platform.

To their mild surprise, this NPC made it all the way through the stage, hitting the buzzer with about two seconds left. "Well, guess now you know how to do this, huh Adrian?" Peach ribbed. "You're up next, right?"

"Yep," the petty officer nodded, as he started making his way over. "Wish me luck..."

"You can do it, comrade!" Sergei encouraged. "I believe in you!"

"And next up, Adrian Harold Johns!" Kratt announced. "He had no trouble on Stage 1, let's see if he can continue his streak!"

*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*

Adrian swung through the Ring Swing without any trouble, then took a moment to regain his bearings before grabbing onto the bar on the Down-Up Salmon Ladder in a bidirectional grip. He made his way down to the bottom, managing to jump the bar to the other ladder, then make his way back up.

"Lookin' good, Adrian!" Admiral nodded. "Let's see if he can handle the Wave Runner!" He and Wiseman watched as the soldier grabbed the first board, shimmying to the other end... And then, successfully transferring to the narrow end of the second board!

"Whoo-hoo! You've got this, Adrian!" Peach called as her boyfriend made it to the end of the Wave Runner and dismounted, eliciting cheers from the crowd.

"And now, the Butterfly Wall!" declared Kratt. It was a large, hard plastic butterfly shape that slowly spun around on a vertical pole... Everyone watched as Adrian jumped and managed to grab ahold of the top of one 'wing', riding it around to the other side, before jumping off and grabbing a hanging rope, pulling himself up!

"Now it's time for the most difficult obstacle on this stage, the Double Wedge!" Wiseman stated. The obstacle was basically a loose bar with round padded ends wedged between two sloping glass panes, twice over. Adrian took a moment to examine the set-up, before grasping the first bar and hanging down, then starting to work his way forward...

"He's gotta keep that bar balanced between those two panes," Admiral explained, "Otherwise, the bar'll slip out and down he goes!"

"He's made it to the end of the first wedge!" Kratt pointed out. "Now he's gotta transfer to the second bar..." This Adrian did, making his way halfway across the second wedge, before starting to swing back and forth. "He's going for the dismount... he's got it!"

"I see you Adrian! Mr. Super-Solider! Look at him overturn those Weighted Walls!" Admiral cried happily as Adrian flipped over all three walls in order, then climbed onto the finish platform and hit the buzzer!

FINISH!

"Mission complete!" Kratt cheered, the crowds cheering and applauding as Adrian saluted to them. "Sharon is with our petty officer now!"

"Nice work, petty officer!" the female NPC said to Adrian. "You made that look easy!"

"Not so easy," Adrian shook his head. "That Double Wedge was brutal... you don't have much stamina left, and you really gotta keep focused so you don't lose your balance... If I hadn't watched that NPC do it, I probably wouldn't've made it..."

"But you did make it, so good job! At ease, soldier!" Sharon said. "Back to you, Kratt and Admiral!"

"Well, I hope Super-Peach was watchin' her boyfriend's run real close, 'cause she's up next!" said Admiral.

"Right, Peach Macintosh is on the starting platform right now! Let's see if she can follow Adrian's lead!" stated Kratt.

*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*

Peach missed the anchor point the first time, forcing to swing back and forth again to get on there and grab the next ring. She had no trouble with the subsequent rings, however.

"And now, the Down-Up Salmon Ladder!" Wiseman announced. "She ended up falling on the Double Salmon Ladder in the regionals, which is why she got in with a wildcard..."

"Well, she says she's been training to make sure it don't trip her up this time!" said Admiral, watching as Peach worked her way down the first ladder. "So far, so good, but she's gotta make the transition to the other ladder! This is where she fell before, she doesn't wanna make the same mistake again!"

"Come on, Peach!" A-Mac called, everyone holding their collective breath...

"She did it!" Kratt cried as Peach made the transition to the second ladder, Peach's family and friends cheering as she worked her way up the second ladder before transferring to the hanging bar between the obstacles... "Now, let's see how she handles the Wave Runner!"

"Look at her go!" said Admiral excitedly as the blonde grabbed the first board and worked her way forward. "Look at that determination on her face!" Another brief moment of silence as Peashy reached the end of the first board... then grabbed onto the second board without falling! "Yeah, I see you! Super-Peach is back, baby!"

"You got this!" Adrian yelled, clapping his hands. "Keep your focus!"

Peach shook her hands a bit after dismounting, before facing the next obstacle, the Butterfly Wing... She easily jumped onto a wing, riding it around to the other side, then jumping off and grabbing the rope on the other side.

"Nicely done!" Kratt applauded. "But now, it's the Double Wedge! Can she get through this one?" They watched as Peashy grabbed the first bar and started working her way forward... the bar went on a slightly awkward angle at one point, but she managed to correct course and make it to the other bar.

But when she started moving forward on the second bar, it went on an even more awkward angle! "Uh-oh, Super-Peach's in trouble!" Admrial said worriedly.

"She's gotta correct!" cried Wiseman. "Wait, it looks like she's going for the dismount now!"

"Hurry up, Peach, before the bar dislodges!" Admiral gasped. Peach swung, and let go just as the bar dislodged completely and fell into the water...

And landed on the platform! The crowd went wild at this, as did the hosts! Despite her fatigue, the blonde bodyguard easily toppled all three Weighted Walls, before jumping up onto the last platform and hitting the buzzer!

FINISH!

"YEAAAAHH!" Peach cried in triumph, thrusting her fists into the air, the crowd cheering and applauding.

"Super-Peach saves the day again!" Admiral cheered. "Let's go down to Sharon!"

"Hey, congratulations!" said Sharon. "Looked like you had some trouble with that Double Wedge!"

"Yeah, well, even if it hadn't gone awkward, I don't think I would've been able to hold on much longer anyway," Peashy gasped. "I honestly thought I was gonna, like, have my feet hit the end and the rest of me fall in the water...!"

"Well, you don't look wet to me!" the NPC looked Peach over... "Well, except for some sweat, of course. Anyway, good luck on Stage 3!"

"Thanks!" Peach nodded, as she walked over to rejoin her family.

"Man, you had me on the edge of my seat there!" A-Mac breathed out with one hand over his chest. "But hey, you finally conquered the Salmon Ladder! High Five!"

Peach grinned as she did just that, the force making her brother recoil slightly. "Think you can do like I just did?"

"Oh yeah, just you wait and see!" the young man nodded.

*Some time later...*

Kratt and Admiral watched as A-Mac made his way down the Double Wedge. "Going for the dismount... he's got it!" Wiseman exclaimed.

"But he doesn't have much time left! Hurry, A-Mac!" Admiral said as the young man ran to the Weighted Walls, pushing over the first one, struggling with the second...

TIME OVER

"No, he timed out!" Kratt shook his head in disappointment.

"He said on Stage 1 that he was tryin' to pace himself, but it backfired on him here!" Admiral added, watching as Arthur walked off the stage, shaking his head, Nisa running up to comfort him. "Talk about getting black-flagged on the last lap... Ya gotta hustle on this stage, since there's less time to work with than on Stage 1..."

"What happened, big brother?" iPad asked. "You were doing so good, too...!"

"Yeah, guess I lost track of the timer," A-Mac sighed in despair. "Epic fail."

"Not really," Sergei disagreed. "That one man before, who missed even grabbing that Double Wedge, THAT was epic fail!"

"I'm sure you'll do better next year, Arthur," Laura reassured him. "You should be proud for even making it this far... you're still in the top ten this year, in a sense..."

"Yeah, I guess," Arthur sighed. "Still reminds me of all the second and third-place awards I got in high school..."

"Hey, I got third place in a school race once, and I was ecstatic," Peach opined. "That medal is still hanging in my old room at Mom's house... felt like the first time I'd ever accomplished something."

"I suppose it all depends on your perspective," iPhone postulated.

"...Yeah, I guess you're right," said A-Mac, finally giving a half-hearted smile. "Guess it's up to you and Adrian now... give it all you've got in Stage 3, OK sis?"

"Oh, don't you worry," Peach nodded with a grin. "Stage 3 won't know what hit it!"

*To be continued...*