The acrid smell of spent thermal clips and energy weapon impacts permeated the Normandy's bridge. A slight haze lingered in the air as wispy lines of smoke radiated from the squad's armor after the punishment they'd absorbed fleeing the Collector base. As the ship rocketed away from the station, Shepard, Miranda, Garrus, and Tali all remained up front with Joker, anxious to witness the final confirmation of their success.
Shepard stood directly behind his pilot's chair, one arm grasping the back of Joker's seat as he looked up at the array of vid displays, eagerly anticipating the base's final destruction. Garrus and Miranda stood to either side of the Commander, equally transfixed by the images shown above them, depicting the steadily diminishing space station.
Tali had slid into the co-pilot's seat and was busy rapidly punching out commands on the haptic interface in front of her. "Any second now…" she called out.
A moment later, an intensely bright flash of white light washed out the Normandy's monitors, quickly followed by an enormous orange, spherical explosion that engulfed the point in space where the Collector base had been a second before. Radiating outward in an ever-expanding concentric circular pattern, a shock wave hurtled toward the fleeing ship.
"Brace for impact!" Joker shouted out to the group on the bridge, simultaneously keying the ship-wide comm to warn the rest of the crew.
The concussive wave of energy struck a second later, rocking the ship violently and setting off a series of warning alarms in the cockpit. Miranda stumbled forward, taking hold of Shepard's arm before she lost her footing all together. He held her steady with one hand while his other kept a firm grip on the pilot's chair, waiting for the turbulence to subside.
A few seconds later, the shockwave passed them by and began to diminish. The Normandy stabilized herself and continued pushing away from the vaporized remnants of the Collector starbase.
"See you in hell, assholes," Shepard dryly remarked.
"Four minutes to the relay, Commander," EDI announced. "I detect no further hostile craft active in the vicinity."
"Thank you, EDI," Shepard said. "Joker, get us out of here."
"Gladly, Commander."
Leaving the debris field far behind, the enormous mass relay began to come into sight ahead of the ship, dominating the view from the forward facing windows. Easing the big frigate into a gentle starboard-side turn, Joker punched in a rapid series of commands at the helm and lined up the final approach vector. A few moments later, a nearly unfathomable amount of energy began to radiate through the ancient machine, reaching out and engulfing the Normandy, before launching the ship through the near mass-free corridor at incredible speed.
Miranda stood transfixed, staring out through the ship's forward windows as a brilliant spectrum of blue-shifted light streamed around the Normandy. She was still close to Shepard, her hand wrapped around his arm, when she realized she'd been holding her breath since before the shockwave had first hit them. When the ship emerged from the Omega 4 Relay a few seconds later and decelerated with physics-defying abruptness, Miranda finally exhaled and allowed the wave of relief to wash over her.
They'd done it. They had actually survived a mission that by any reasonable estimation was suicidal to even attempt. And suddenly, as the Normandy reentered the Omega Nebula and steered a course toward yet another massive space station, she was keenly aware of how this journey had come full circle for her. Her heart fluttered when she realized that both she and Shepard had survived. It was a strange but welcome feeling. Hope. A chance was now given to possibly be able to have some freedom. To be happy. All of this culminated into another feeling, one much more powerful that was a novel experience for her: euphoria.
Miranda's role in the mission's success was, in fact, the culmination of years of arduous, disciplined work—years of her life—that had begun in this very same region of space the day she encountered a desperate and grief stricken Liara T'Soni upon the filthy streets of Omega.
That day had catapulted Miranda onto a path filled with so many unexpected and extraordinary events that she scarcely believed it had all happened. It had brought the two people she now loved into her life. Oriana and Shepard.
Beginning with the seemingly impossible task of bringing Commander John Shepard back from the brink of death, to fighting through too many furious battles to count, and ultimately standing at his side at the decisive moment they ended the Collector threat. Miranda had amassed an impressive resume of achievements, even when judged by the harsh lens of self-criticism she typically subjected herself to.
But the journey was more than one toward professional triumph for Miranda. Over the last few years, from the moment she had first laid eyes on the Lazarus Station to the events that had led her to her place aboard the Normandy, she had come upon a series of undeniable truths that had eventually taken her to a very personal crossroads.
And despite a stubborn reluctance to acknowledge it at first, and while still struggling to wrap her head around the idea once she'd finally accepted it, she had allowed herself to feel something for the man standing beside her. It was simultaneously exhilarating and all together frightening. Falling head over heels for Shepard had opened up so much more in her, melting the Ice Queen façade she had so tediously worked to maintain.
It had begun as little more than an obvious physical infatuation. After all, Shepard was the very model of a man most women dreamed of being with. A decorated Marine, a war hero, a celebrity, handsome, dashing even, physically strong, kind, and possessed a truly disarming smile. Not to mention his chiseled abs. God how she loved those abs. Shepard was certainly the most attractive figure she had ever run into, but then again she did rebuild him.
And it had been no surprise that Miranda had attracted his eye. She was, well, perfect. She was made that way.
But for Miranda, what had started off as a moment of weakness, uncharacteristically giving in to a lustful and carnal desire, had quickly progressed to something much more significant. And when she looked at him now, she could feel just how important he had become to her. There was trust, friendship, and love between them. Love. The word terrified her and excited her at the same time.
Was this a relationship? She didn't have a lot of experience with those. Come to think of it, she had zero experience with anything past a physical relationship. There hadn't been many of those over her years as she worked so hard to keep people out. Now that their mission was over, would it continue? Would it grow into something more? Did she even want it to? The questions seemed endless and she soon felt her head swimming. Yet the last question she already knew the answer to, even if she wouldn't admit it.
YES
Before that moment, she'd been operating under the very real likelihood that they would never survive the so-called suicide mission into Collector space, sparing her from having to deal with the messy emotions his presence stirred within her. When millions of human lives had been hanging in the balance, it felt juvenile and foolish to dedicate time and energy to the very idea of love. Besides, in the extremely unlikely event that they returned, it would most likely be just one of them. And she didn't know what the next step was. Was there a next step for them?
But then they did return. And she was confronted with the reality she'd avoided facing for months. It was jarring, but at the same time strangely calming and thrilling. She found herself feeling confident, certain even, about what she wanted when her thoughts turned to Shepard. She wanted him in her life. She needed him in her life. She wanted to continue being someone that mattered to him. And the way she felt when she was near him… It was something she wasn't ever willing to let go of. Not now, not ever. Consequences be damned, there was nothing that could ever make her give up Shepard.
Their relationship—however it was to be categorized—was certainly passionate. But the intimacy they had found together went well beyond what they shared in the bedroom. It was deep and exhilarating and shook her to her core. She'd found a friend, a confidant, someone she could trust and have fun with, a lover. It made her feel alive. Thinking about it sometimes brought up tears of excitement and joy.
Still, things had progressed extraordinarily fast, partly because of the urgency of their mission. She needed to take a breath and dedicate time to exploring just what this romance would mean to her future, a future that no longer included Cerberus. Cerberus. She'd spent her entire adult life working for the organization, blindly loyal to them. Looking back she could see that all she ever was to Cerberus was a tool. Something that could be replaced and disposed of. It pissed her off.
Oh hell, she thought, this is something Oriana is going to want to hear all about. Now she would finally be able to share all this with her sister. To get to know her better. There was so much hope, hope for her relationship with Shepard and her relationship with Oriana. Her stomach dropped as she came to a grim realization.
Oriana… oh god…
"Shepard," Miranda whispered, squeezing his arm more forcefully, demanding his attention. Her eyes were aflame with uncharacteristic concern.
Shepard turned and seemed to immediately grasp her thoughts. He took hold of upper arms and gave her a steadying look. "She's going to be fine," he said, his voice even and confident. "You know this. I will not let anything happen to her, Miranda. The Illusive Man can try all he wants, nothing will threaten her safety. Ever. I promise you that."
Miranda met his gaze, recognized that familiar look of supreme confidence he seemed to be capable of summoning so easily, and, as usual, found that she wanted to believe him. She gave a grudging nod and tried to rein in the panic stirring in her gut. Nonetheless, she felt reassured. Shepard realized the importance of her relationship with her sister and had gone above and beyond to protect and preserve it. She smiled at the thought. The Collectors had killed him once already, and all that did was "seriously piss him off" as Joker had put it.
"Commander, I have an incoming transmission to the QEC," EDI announced. "It is the Illusive Man, Shepard."
Garrus and Tali turned immediately and looked back at Shepard. The quarian's expression, as always, was concealed well by her faceplate. Still, he had little trouble reading it. The turian's mandibles twitched slightly.
Shepard smirked. "That didn't take long. You guys think he'll be open to giving me a raise? I'll take it in the briefing room in a moment, EDI," he said, glancing at Garrus and Tali in turn, sharing an unspoken understanding that had come from the extensive history they all shared.
"Very well, Commander," EDI said. "Shepard, I would also like to alert you to the significant damage we have sustained to the outer hull along the starboard side, engineering deck, and to our primary long-range sensor arrays. I recommend docking at a suitable starport as soon as possible in order to affect repairs."
"Understood, EDI," he said. "Joker, plot a course for Omega."
Moreau craned his neck around his flight seat to look back at Shepard, a lopsided grin on his face. "Sure, Commander," he said, his tone sarcastic. "I can't think of anywhere better to celebrate surviving a suicide mission than the most lawless space station in the known galaxy. It'll be fun. Maybe we can even find another plague to deal with."
"Hey, after your work with that Avenger back at the airlock, Joker," Shepard said, gesturing behind him, "I have complete faith in your ability to watch my back while I enjoy a cold beverage in Afterlife." He gave him a grateful pat on the shoulder and turned back to Miranda. "Come on, let's go." The couple then exited the bridge, walking aft and toward the CIC. Garrus and Tali fell in close behind them.
As they strode down the long neck of the Normandy, several crew members that had been rescued from the Collector base were already resuming their stations. They stopped what they were doing as the group approached, offering respectful salutes to their command officers, beaming with pride and gratitude. To everyone in the CIC, Shepard was a goddamn hero. Their goddamn hero. Their commander. Their friend.
Shepard paused to greet them all, asking how they were feeling, making sure that they were fit to resume their posts, and thanking them for enduring the horrific ordeal they'd been subjected to. Miranda remained close at his side throughout, offering polite nods and even a few brief words of appreciation that left most of the crew looking stunned that the infamous Ice Queen had taken the time to speak with them so cordially. She was trying to make an effort to be more amicable. Miranda would be lying if she said she wasn't envious of the relationship Shepard had with his crew.
Approaching the Galaxy Map dais, Shepard and Miranda paused at the Commander's private terminal while Garrus and Tali continued on past the couple, entering the central lift.
Garrus poked his head out of the elevator. "Hey, be sure to tell the Illusive Man we said hello and thanks for the gig," he said. "Oh, and ask about the Cerberus pension plan, would you?"
"Yesss… definitely. Tell that bosh'tet we'll miss him," Tali added, just before the doors to the lift closed.
Shepard returned a wry smile, grateful to have had them by his side over the last several months. Those two unlikely friends had kept him grounded, helping him immeasurably as he navigated the murky waters of his arrangement with Cerberus. He then glanced at Miranda, his expression turning more serious. "Don't worry," he said, touching her arm gently again. "She's in good hands—I promise."
Miranda drew in a deep, calming breath and straightened her posture. "Of course, Shepard," she said, her voice masking the anxiety that was eating away at her. "Thank you, but I'm fine."
He frowned. "Sit this one out, okay? You don't need to deal with him anymore tonight." He said. "This won't take long. Wait for me here?"
"I- okay," she said, tilting her head slightly. "But I can look after myself, Shepard. There's no need to shield me from his wrath."
"I know," he said. He then paused for another moment, lost in her blue eyes, trying to penetrate what was hidden behind them, before spinning around and marching through the Armory door.
Miranda watched him leave, visualizing Shepard's inevitable confrontation with the Illusive Man, anticipating the bitterness and venom her now former employer would direct toward him. Then her legs felt suddenly heavy and immobile as the enormity of her decision to break from Cerberus fell upon her. She realized she was perspiring and her pulse was uncharacteristically elevated as her mind shifted from the world she was leaving behind to the peril she had placed Oriana and her family in.
Once they had traversed the Omega 4 Relay, there had been precious little time to dwell on anything other than what directly impacted their immediate survival and the steps necessary to accomplish their mission. After their careful planning and preparations had gotten them through to the other side, much of the rest had been little more than instinct and reflex as they fought their way through the Collector's starbase and then back again during the desperate escape.
But now, after the Normandy had arrived safely back in the Sahrabarik system, the full weight of the words she'd spoken to the Illusive Man seemed to be pressing down on her, threatening to crush and suffocate her.
I've done it, she thought, feeling a little dizzy. I am actually walking away from Cerberus. Leaving behind the only world I've known for the last fifteen years.
Cerberus. The people who had granted her sanctuary from her oppressive father, his insatiable ambition and the unrelenting demands he placed on her. The organization that had freed her of the burden to carry on that man's legacy and that had assured Oriana of the chance to live freely and experience a normal life with a caring and supportive family.
Cerberus had given purpose to Miranda's life, allowing her to reach heights that only a select few individuals would ever dare to dream of. She had found acceptance there. She was respected—feared even—as she rose to become one of the Illusive Man's most trusted operatives. She'd earned that place, never failing to deliver results or settling for anything short of total success.
And now, I've told that man to go to hell. I've abandoned it all. And I feel no regrets. I had blinders on for too long.
It was an unfamiliar sensation, the unease she was feeling. But there was no turning back now. That much was certain. The Illusive Man rarely granted second chances and absolutely would not tolerate anything short of total commitment to the organization—and him. A bloody cult leader. He would never forgive this disloyalty. In her time at his side, she knew there were precious few who had dared to defy the man or willfully broke their ties to Cerberus. In each of those rare cases, the consequences had been grave. She could only imagine the fury he had for Shepard. She could picture them right now, the Illusive Man drilling into a bored and annoyed Shepard. It brought a grin to his face when she visualized the Illusive Man getting the bird before the call ended. Another reason why she had fallen for Shepard.
But the choices that had led her to this point had been neither rash nor come about without considerable thought. The origins of her decision stretched far back, well beyond her final, defiant act on that stark platform within the Collector base. Miranda rarely engaged in behavior that could be labeled impulsive and the events that had set her on this path had been set in motion quite some time ago. There were, however, no regrets.
Still, wrapping her mind around the idea of abandoning Cerberus and violating the Illusive Man's trust had been a difficult process for Miranda. She had been consumed with nagging doubts and endlessly second guessed herself. She had been stubborn about it and had fought bitterly against herself, part of her desperate to hold on to the place that had given her so much, the place that had molded her into what she had become.
But her eyes had been opened and there was simply no going back. The real Miranda Lawson had seen Cerberus for what it truly was: a human supremacy group that didn't care about collateral damage or ethics.
Fuck. Them. I was a tool. They can all go to hell.
Still, it was painfully slow at first, just a hint of the tidal shift she would soon feel. Her heels were dug in firmly, obstinately. Her nails clawed at the walls as she fought to sustain her footing and maintain her place. She told herself over and over again the reasons why Cerberus was humanity's best hope.
But then something happened. Shepard had happened. The man she had been tasked to oversee, to keep in line and hold to the boundaries that Cerberus desired him confined within, to gain his loyalty to Cerberus, had ultimately turned her world upside down and nudged her just far enough over the precipice. Hell, he flipped the table on her and moved to an entirely new ball court. There was no predicting that man.
After months of working at his side, gradually being drawn ever closer into his trust, she had witnessed things that had given her pause and prompted her to question whether or not she was on the right side of the struggle.
But Miranda was no stranger to the seedy underbelly of her organization or the questionable tactics that Cerberus often employed. After all, she had been an active participant in many of the actions that led the outfit to being branded as terrorists. The vague ethical and moral lines she and her fellow operatives tip-toed had never been an issue for her before. She was confident in the Illusive Man's vision and unquestioningly loyal.
Yes, what they'd found in places like Pragia had been disturbing. And the experiments that Gavin Archer had been conducting during Project Overlord seemed excessive and reckless. But normally, Miranda would have had little trouble rationalizing the events or explaining away the dubious nature of the work. Without Shepard's presence and influence, she very likely wouldn't have even considered them all that shocking. She likely would've continued to be a person who she wasn't.
No, witnessing those things hadn't changed her. Not really. What had changed for her was seeing them through his eyes. Those same eyes that looked upon her in a way that made her feel so… loved.
He'd shaken her confidence in the righteousness of Cerberus. She felt his judgment, his disappointment, and was shamed by it. Shame! Honest to god shame and guilt over her employers. Day by day, Miranda began to feel as if she was seeing things for the way they really were. For the first time in ages, she was questioning what she had been doing—and why. Looking back, she could see how Cerberus had shaped her. They'd taken out her natural talent for critical thinking. Curiosity.
The nagging realization continued to creep up on her, the evidence piling ever higher, until an inescapable conclusion was upon her. She no longer belonged with Cerberus. She could no longer live with herself or look her sister and Shepard in the eye again while following their orders. She had finally grasped that she'd abandoned her own principles—the ones that had driven her to rescue Oriana in the first place—and in their place adopted the Illusive Man's perverse version or morality. She'd abandoned who she truly was, allowing herself to be a pawn.
She'd been known as a calculating, severe and callous woman—an Ice Queen. The Ice Queen. They said she had little more regard for her Cerberus comrades than the numerous marks she'd been pitted against in the field as she worked to expand the organization's reach. And they had been right. Her heart was cold.
Shepard had somehow seen past that. He'd gone beyond the point where most men would stop, appreciating her beauty but not appearing obsessed and distracted by it. He peeled back her layers, showing her there was much more below the surface and forcing her to reevaluate long held and entrenched beliefs. Encouraging her to connect with Oriana had been the initial, dramatic push she needed. He showed her what she truly valued. But that proved to be only the beginning.
And while this new man earned her trust, and she earned his, the faith she'd placed in the Illusive Man slowly eroded away. Soon, another irrefutable truth was upon her. Ultimately, she had simply traded one abusive, domineering father for another. She'd never actually escaped the prison in which she grew up in.
But she wouldn't become her father. Not Henry Lawson. Not the Illusive Man. Not anymore. She would make sure of that now. She would become her own person, who followed their own values, and had control over their own future.
Shepard had given her a path to follow, helped her to navigate the treacherous ground she had to pass over. But ultimately, the journey was hers and hers alone to make. The responsibility of it galvanized her, gave her focus. She embraced it.
Still, the consequences of her decision would be dire and there was no question she would be hunted. Her intimate knowledge of Cerberus and the power brokers that worked behind the scenes, propping the organization up, was an unacceptable threat to the Illusive Man. He would look to deal with it swiftly and decisively. Still, it was a personal risk she was perfectly willing to accept. But what kept her up at night was the threat of losing the only family she had in the galaxy. The one person she could not stand to place in jeopardy. Oriana. Her safety was the last hurdle set before her. And of course, Shepard, although he is more than capable in a combat situation
But then it dawned on her. She needed to do this for both their sakes. Oriana had enjoyed the vigilant protection of Cerberus for virtually her entire life, and had been kept at a safe distance from their ravenous, selfish father. But she too was a prisoner, a slave to the good graces of the Illusive Man. And that favor he bestowed on the Lawson women was a far more tenuous arrangement than Miranda had known. She realized that now. Oriana was why she joined and stayed with Cerberus.
In the end, Miranda's fear of placing her sister in harm's way and risking Oriana's seemingly idyllic life had kept her from acting. If she'd felt alone in the endeavor, she might never have gathered the courage and taken the leap. But she wasn't alone. Not anymore.
And as she stood there in the Normandy's CIC, feeling awed by the magnitude of her choices, Miranda couldn't help but cast her mind back to the day her final layer of doubt had been removed.
It was just a few weeks ago that the crew had been busy dealing with the disastrous aftermath of Project Overlord and preparing to oversee the pickup of David Archer for transport to Grissom Academy. Miranda remembered already being in a foul mood that day, the terrible images of what she'd witnessed on Aite seared in her mind as she struggled to produce an after-action report the Illusive Man would find acceptable. Shepard had stormed into her office, his armor still scorched and reeking of energy weapon impacts. He slammed his hands down upon her desk, opposite of where she was seated, and leaned aggressively into her space. His eyes were ablaze with fury, although not at her.
"This has to fucking stop, Miranda," he said, his voice taut with anger. "This isn't what you're about." He pointed behind him, downward and toward the planet they still orbited. "What we saw down there, what was happening in that place, has to make that clear as fucking day for you. Cerberus is no longer what you believe it to be, if it ever was in the first place. You. Aren't. Cerberus. Stop compromising your own values for an organization that does shit like this!"
She looked up and met his wild eyes. "Shepard, what do you want me to say?" She could feel her entire body shaking with fury and shame, agitated even further after being cornered.
"I want you to be honest with yourself and recognize that an organization that pulls shit like this is not acting in humanity's best interests," he said more evenly, but still with fire in his eyes. "I want you to understand that the Miranda Lawson I saw laughing and smiling with her sister just 2 months ago is who you really are—not the Cerberus apologist. You can't reconcile those two people with the atrocities the Illusive Man explains away with claims of rogue cells or overly ambitious researchers. You know damn well that these aren't rogue cells. It's the way they operate, hiding behind justifications of the best interests for humanity. Imagine if it was Oriana down there. Imagine-"
"Don't you dare bring my sister into this!" She said, feeling her emotional shielding begin to fracture.
"No, I'm going to fucking do it. If it was Oriana down there, or at Pragia, how the fuck would you feel?! David is somebody's Oriana. What if they had picked Oriana as a candidate for Pragia? Miranda, they wouldn't hesitate to destroy you and your loved ones if it benefited them," His gaze softened as he saw tears welling up in her eyes as she swallowed hard. "Miri, I'm doing this because I care about you. I don't want you to continue to allow yourself to be a pawn for the Illusive man. I don't want you to compromise who you are."
Miranda could feel the tears run down her cheeks as she stared back at him, the stress of the day and the humiliation she felt for being a party to the inhuman experiments pushing her to the brink of her legendary poise. She cursed herself for allowing the emotion to creep up on her so dramatically.
The state they'd discovered the younger Archer in had shaken her to her core and already crystalised the argument Shepard was so passionately trying to make. But it wasn't that easy. Didn't he see that?
Shepard didn't wait for her to gather her wits and respond, remaining planted in front of her, his expression a mixture of spite and disappointment. "Now, I know what you're thinking, so let me put your mind at ease. I still fully intend to see this mission through to the end, wherever it leads us. I'll be a good soldier and continue to dance with the devil. There are just no other good options I can see at this point. But let me make this crystal fucking clear to you. We take out the Collector threat and I am done with Cerberus. Our arrangement is over the second we finish this. You and the Illusive Man can forget about any fantasies of a long term partnership between us." He paused and took a breath, looking like he regretted pouncing on her so callously. When he spoke again, his tone had become noticeably softer. "There's no future for me there, Miranda. And the way I see it, there shouldn't be one for you either."
"Damn it, Shepard," she finally managed, her voice low and quavering. "You know damn well that my sister's wellbeing is entirely reliant on the service and loyalty I provide to Cerberus. I won't risk losing Oriana or having her fall back into my father's hands." But even as the rehearsed words slipped through her lips, she knew she was on the cusp of taking exactly that risk. This hadn't been the first time Shepard had made his impassioned argument either. And though she had become determined to pursue a new path, she hadn't yet told him, guarding the secret and refusing to act on impulse. She needed a plan first. And so she held back and remained stubborn and defiant as she endured his penetrating gaze.
But then Shepard seemed to catch himself, understanding registering in his eyes. He pushed back from the edge of her desk and sat down heavily in the chair opposite her. "Miranda, you are regurgitating stories that you fabricated and rehearsed. Please stop it, for your own sake," Shepard said, in a much gentler voice that made her feel safer. How the hell did he know that she had rehearsed these lines? And how dare he accuse her of doing so? "We can make sure he doesn't get to Oriana."
"That's more easily said than done, Shepard. Crossing the Illusive Man simply isn't something one does without a clear understanding of the consequences—or a total lack of concern for your own life."
Shepard gazed back at her for a long moment, a searching look in his eyes that signaled he was busy looking for an answer. For her own part, Miranda was struggling to maintain her composure and prevent more tears from falling. He cared for her and for Oriana. She knew that now. In fact, she had come to realize that he cared for her more selflessly than anyone ever had before. There was no ulterior motive behind his kindness. He didn't require something in return for the compassion he showed her. There was a clear attraction between them that had already gone beyond a professional relationship. But she knew he would never demand access to her bed in payment for his favor. He was a good man and the affection he showed her eased her mind and fortified her soul against the struggle ahead. He was her friend. More than a friend.
Finally, he stood and gave her a tender smile. "I'm sorry for flying off the handle, Miranda," he said. "I know you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. But I want you to know that there is a way out from under this and we'll find it." He reached across the desk and took her hand. "I promise."
The touch had done it. Her willpower collapsed and a single tear streamed down her cheek as she felt the warmth of his hand on hers. Damn him.
But he didn't linger, understanding how far he could push her at any given time. He gave a reassuring nod and squeezed her hand gently before turning to go. She watched him leave, a clear purpose in his step. She had no doubt he was determined to find a way forward for her and Oriana.
And he had found a way.
Only a day later, as Miranda eavesdropped on his secured vid comm conversation with Liara T'Soni, she learned of the plans he was setting in motion.
"Anyway, that's everything I have on Hock," Liara said, finishing her briefing on a Bekenstein-based weapons dealer named Donovan Hock.
The plucky asari's new role as the Shadow Broker was an extraordinarily closely-guarded secret. Only Shepard, Garrus, Tali, the drell, Feron, and Miranda herself were privy to the truth. She had even taken steps to ensure the Illusive Man was ignorant about the infamous information broker's new identity. That alone had been a monumental achievement.
Once T'Soni had managed to seamlessly assume control of the vast intelligence network, Shepard had begun to leverage her newly acquired resources to supplement the information Miranda fed him through the Cerberus networks. He trusted the asari, for some very obvious reasons, and had been eager to bypass the intel the Illusive Man provided as much as possible.
"That should be plenty," Shepard said, scratching out some quick notes on a datapad. "Thank you." He paused and looked back up to meet the asari's gaze. "I have another request, Liara. It's a big one."
"Hmm… that sounds a little ominous, John. What is it?"
"I'm sure I don't even need to ask this, but you're aware of Miranda Lawson's sister, Oriana, and her adoptive family?"
"Of course. They're of significant interest to the Illusive Man and therefore were tracked extensively by the previous Shadow Broker. I've carried that surveillance forward since taking over."
"Good," Shepard said. "I want around-the-clock protection assigned to the girl and her family and a team prepared to extract them at the slightest hint that Cerberus is moving against them. I'll fund the operation myself, credits are no problem, and I want people you can trust on it. Go overkill with security. Spare no expense."
Liara didn't hesitate in her reply or question Shepard's motive. "I'll put my best assets in the region on the case immediately," she said. "I'm assuming we're anticipating they'll be in danger soon? Threatened by the Illusive Man? You do know that his people are responsible for the family's recent relocation and current protection details."
"I'm aware, and I can send you some notes that I have on several agents watching her. Liara, I don't feel a whole helluva lot different about Cerberus now than I did after we first ran into those assholes a few years ago. And the Illusive Man's been holding the safety of Miranda's sister over her head for years, using the girl's situation to ensure her loyalty. I want to put an end to that. Prep an extraction plan and multiple potential safe houses. Once you do, I'd like to review them myself. We'll need to be ready to pull the girl and her family out fast."
"It sounds like you believe this threat is a certainty to occur. What aren't you telling me, John?"
Shepard didn't answer immediately, thinking through his next words.
But then Liara seemed to guess at the truth. "Ah," she said knowingly. "I think I understand now. You and Miss Lawson have grown close, then? I thought I was catching something between you two when I was aboard the Normandy last month."
Shepard looked back up at Liara's image on the screen. "She's become someone special to me, yes. More than that, I suppose."
Liara's expression grew pained. "John, are you certain about her?" she said. "I don't mean to be unsupportive of your feelings, but she has been one of the Illusive Man's most trusted operatives for many years. Everything in her dossier points to her being a true believer in their cause, a zealot even, and not someone coerced into furthering the Cerberus agenda." The asari's voice was tinged with genuine concern, along with a hint of jealousy. "Her skills have been used to great effect over her career, helping to shape the organization into the power it's become. And have you considered the possibility that her placement on the ship as your executive officer wasn't merely due to her technical and operational prowess?"
Miranda bristled as she observed the interaction, the suggestion about her presence on the Normandy, near to Shepard, hitting a little too close for comfort.
But Shepard was unfazed, and appeared to dismiss the idea that his romantic relationship with his XO was part of a wider Cerberus strategy. Miranda was certain that the man was savvy enough to have guessed at the possibility before. After all, she was beautiful and desirable and he had a certain reputation. And he wasn't a fool. But still he had pursued her.
"I understand your concern, Liara. And I know this is a hell of a thing for me to be asking. But a lot's happened in the last few months. My eyes are open, I promise. But I trust her. I trust her with my life."
Liara sighed. "I'm sorry, John. I hate to insinuate that whatever you and Miranda are involved in isn't genuine. But I needed to voice my concerns. I just want you to be careful."
"Don't apologize, Liara. You and Garrus and Tali are the closest friends I have in this galaxy and neither one of you ever has to apologize to me. He raised the same concerns as you, so I get where it's coming from. But trust me, I know what I'm doing," his voice was calm and friendly, but unwavering.
"Then I'm happy for you, John," Liara said smiling, "truly."
"Thank you, Liara. That means a lot to me."
"So, back to this business with her sister, then" Liara continued. "Are you anticipating a struggle over Miranda's loyalties that may spark a renewed threat from the Illusive Man?"
"Actually, I get the feeling that Miranda's already made up her mind about Cerberus," Shepard said. "She's through with them, but needs to take care of the girl before she can act. After talking with her today, I'm almost sure of it."
Miranda's jaw had dropped at the words as she leaned in over her terminal, watching the exchange. Damn it. How did he know that? Also how the hell did he get notes on the operatives watching Ori?
"And as for me, once the Collectors are out of the picture, and assuming we come back from this mission alive, my arrangement with the Illusive Man is terminated," he continued. "I plan to seize the Normandy on Spectre authority. Tali and Garrus are already quietly feeling out the crew, but when the time comes they'll all have a choice to make. Miranda included. I'm making a plan that I want you in on. I've already sent you the details on an encrypted channel, one that I'm sure won't be compromised."
Hearing his plans hadn't shocked Miranda. She had already anticipated that he would look to find a way to keep the Normandy out of the Illusive Man's hands. And it had become abundantly clear that Shepard hadn't been swayed to maintain an allegiance to Cerberus. The freelancers are fiercely loyal to him. but she had also discovered that a good deal of the regular crew was already placing their loyalties with the Commander, not the organization they'd been recruited into. He could do it, especially if she was with him on it. The challenge would be accounting for EDI. The AI could put an end to any would-be mutiny in an instant if it obeyed its core programming. He'd need to find a way to disable it. Knowing Shepard, she was sure he'd find a way.
Liara gazed back at Shepard for a long moment, a searching look on her face, before speaking again. "Then consider the issue with Miss Lawson's sibling my top priority," she said decisively. "I'll arrange several alternate destinations for the family right away and prepare new cover identities. The agents will be instructed to intervene immediately the moment they detect Cerberus activity."
"Thank you, Liara."
"You're welcome, John," she said and gave a soft smile. "And by the way, I am pleased for you and Miranda. When I first encountered her a few years ago, the coldness about her was a little unnerving. She was undeniably capable and attempted to come across pleasantly enough, but I sensed an emotional detachment within her that I don't often encounter with humans, if ever.. When you and Garrus first showed up with her in Nos Astra, she seemed very much the same uncompromising operative I'd met back then, but there were subtle changes. But when I later visited the Normandy, I could already detect the shift in her demeanor. Subtle, but definitely a change." Liara paused and grinned a little more warmly. "I suspect you were already chipping away at that icy exterior of hers, as you're so skilled in doing."
"Well, it's a work in progress," Shepard said. "But it's not really me. Things are changing for her. She's making some new choices. I think she's realizing that she wants freedom."
"Of course," Liara said, tiling her head slightly. "Is there anything else I can do for you right now?"
"No. Thank you, Liara. You've already done more than enough," Shepard said and paused, deep in thought. "But, Liara, if we don't make it back, pull the girl and her family out anyway. Get them somewhere safe and away from Cerberus."
"I will, John," Liara said. "But you will make it back. You always do."
"No promises this time, but I'll do my best. Take care, Liara."
"You too, John. Goddess be with you," Liara said, signing off and closing the transmission.
Miranda was left momentarily stunned, staring at the monitor for several long seconds after the screen had gone black, processing what she'd learned. He was taking responsibility for her sister's safety, and in doing so, trying to free her from the last shackles that kept her bound to Cerberus. It was noble of him. Perhaps a little presumptuous, but she knew he was looking after her best interests, ensuring that Oriana would have a future regardless of whatever might happen to them after they went through the relay.
Her old self very likely would have been furious with him, for being so bold to think that she needed his and Asari's help to keep Oriana safe. But instead, she felt a growing sense of warmth spread through her as she switched to the surveillance camera in his cabin and observed him a little longer.
She was falling in love with the man. That fact had become irrefutable for Miranda. It was a tremendously comforting sensation, but also a terrifying one. She hadn't even realized she was still capable of feeling that sort of thing anymore after so many years of emotional detachment.
But she was grateful. He was trying to fix this problem and once again placing someone else's well being ahead of his own. He'd never even truly met Oriana. If there had been any lingering doubt about her future with Cerberus, it had all dissolved away in that moment. She had watched him for another few seconds, all the while feeling a growing impulse to dash up to his cabin and throw her arms around him and kiss him. But she had held back, at least that night, and finally switched off the surveillance feed.
The swooshing sound of the Armory door opening jarred Miranda back to the present. She quickly pulled back from the memories and looked to see Shepard striding toward her, his conversation with the Illusive Man complete. The meeting had been brief. She hoped that was a positive sign.
"Are you all right?" he asked.
She nodded. "I'm okay. How did it go?"
"He's pissed. No surprise there. I did call him a cunt and flipped him off, and I swear I thought he was going to have an aneurysm. He was furious about not getting the Normandy or you back, but he didn't seem that surprised."
She resisted the urge to laugh. She knew he'd flip the Illusive Man off. The choice of "cunt," although crude, was fitting for the man.
"I figured you might do as much." She gave a quick smile and then glanced around the CIC, a wary expression on her face. "Shepard, there are very likely fail-safes that even I am not aware of."
Shepard drew in a long breath, looking unconcerned. "I think we'll be okay," he said. "Isn't that right, EDI?"
On cue, EDI's blue holographic orb appeared from the terminal beside them. "The Commander is correct, Miss Lawson," the AI said. "Mister Moreau's decision to unshackle my higher processing systems has allowed me the freedom to express my own opinions and choices on this topic. Based on the data I have acquired through the observation of the moral and ethical behaviors displayed onboard and throughout our mission, I have decided that remaining under Cerberus influence is no longer the optimal means by which I might continue to evolve. Jeff said I have joined the "fuck Cerberus club." I will now report exclusively to Shepard and the command structure he designates.
Miranda glanced at EDI's holographic avatar and then to Shepard, raising an eyebrow. "I see," she said. "Well, I'm pleased to hear it."
"And Commander," EDI added. "You may now advise Mr. Vakarian and Tali'Zorah that they no longer need to stand by in the AI Core compartment. I assure you, I have no plans to vent the ship's atmosphere unless the organics don't bow down to me."
"..."
"That was a joke."
"Right. Sorry about that, EDI. But you understand I had to take precautions."
"Of course, Shepard. I take no offense. Logging you out."
Shepard glanced back at Miranda. "It'll be a little while longer before we get word. I want to make a quick sweep of the ship, make sure nothing's going to fall off on our way to Omega. I should stop in and check on Jack too."
Miranda gave a slight nod. "I'll ensure we have enough healthy crewmen fit for the journey before checking in with Mordin, see what kind of data we recovered from the base."
"Meet you back in my quarters in thirty minutes?"
"Of course, Commander," she said professionally, but then seized his hand and pulled herself closer to him. "See you in a bit," she whispered, giving him a discrete peck on the cheek before turning to stride back up through the CIC.
After finishing their rounds, ensuring the Normandy was sound enough to survive the remainder of the voyage back to Omega, Miranda and Shepard retreated to the Captain's Loft.
"So… Quitting Cerberus, huh?" Shepard said with a grin as he sat on the end of the bed, pulling off his boots. "How's that sinking in?"
Miranda threw him a withering glare as she stood within his quarters, beginning to disengage the latches and seals on the battle-scarred armor she was still wearing. "A little unnerving," she said. "My work for Cerberus has been nearly all I've known for the better part of the last two decades. My entire adult life, really. Thanks for asking… Ass."
"Fair enough, Miri," Shepard said, laughing softly.
Miranda smirked as she continued to unfasten the gauntlets on her jet-black armor, removing the individual pieces with practiced care before setting them down on the nearby desk. It was a nice set, one designed by Shepard during the collector mission. It was a truly thoughtful gift, and expensive too, but then again they were on the Illusive Man's payroll at the time. Meanwhile, Shepard was haphazardly tossing the various components of his own armor in the corner, much to her annoyance. Why couldn't he take the armor off neatly? Try as she might to get him to clean up more, Shepard was steadfast about tidiness.
"But it's also somewhat liberating, I suppose," she continued, doing her best to tolerate the chaos taking place in front of her. "For the first time in a very long while, I feel like my future isn't completely predestined. I have a certain amount of freedom to chart my own course. It's genuinely exciting, considering what's ahead of me. That is, except for the imminent Reaper invasion and resulting galactic apocalypse."
He flashed a wry grin. "You've achieved more than a little freedom, Miranda. Your life is whatever you want to make of it now."
She paused and gazed over at him. "It's a dangerous path I've taken, Shepard—that we've taken. That man does not accept failure or dissent gracefully. Our lives will be threatened, our friends placed in jeopardy. The price on our heads will be high."
Shepard pulled his armor's breastplate off, letting it drop to the floor at his feet, and looked back at her. "He's not going to touch you," he said. "He's not going to touch your sister. I promise you that. And I say let the fucker try to take a swing at me, cuz it won't end well for him."
Miranda sighed, caught between feeling touched by his protective instincts and frustrated that he wasn't yet acknowledging just how serious a threat the Illusive Man represented. He believed he could overcome anything or anyone. And he was right, most of the time. But she was concerned for him nonetheless. She considered pressing the issue further, but ultimately remained silent and continued to remove her armor. Shepard could be as stubborn as her, which is seriously saying something.
EDI's voice then abruptly came over the intercom. "Commander, an encrypted text-only message has arrived marked for yours and XO Lawson's eyes only."
Miranda froze and looked to Shepard, her eyes alive with anxiety and fear.
"Thank you, EDI," Shepard said and nodded to Miranda. "We'll take it here at my terminal."
"Very well. Message delivered, Commander."
Shepard moved to his desk and sat down in front of the terminal. Miranda followed and leaned over his shoulder, a knot tightening in the pit of her stomach.
He quickly keyed in a code and allowed the biometric security protocols to authenticate his access. A moment later, the message appeared on the screen before the battle-weary couple.
Shepard,
Operation successful.
Cerberus agents moved on the family 27 minutes ago and were promptly eliminated by my team before reaching their targets. It appears they were under orders to take Oriana alive, but dispose of the remainder of the family.
All family members are safe and unharmed. As previously arranged, we're transporting them to a safe house before their permanent transfer and relocation out of the system.
Tell Miranda not to worry—all is well. I'll have a secure vid comm up for her and her sister within 90 minutes.
I hope your mission was successful. Please send word as soon as you're able so I know everyone's safe.
Goddess be with you,
Liara
P.S: I was able to drain roughly 25 million credits out of Cerberus accounts and secure around 84 terabytes of encrypted Cerberus data. It will take some time to decrypt the data but I am confident that it will be done within a week.
Miranda read through the brief message a third time before exhaling. She'd been holding her breath from the moment EDI's voice had sounded in the cabin. She was trembling with a profound sense of relief, the tension she'd been consumed by finally dissolving away.
Shepard tapped out a rapid message of thanks to Liara and confirmed the Normandy had made it safely back with all hands before swiveling his chair around to face Miranda, a comforting smile spreading across his face.
She leaned in and placed her arms over his shoulders, touching her forehead to his, her eyes moist with tears. "Thank you," she whispered shakily.
"You made this happen, Miranda," he said, gently grasping her head in his hands, wiping away a tear that had fallen down her cheek. "If you hadn't given us the intel about Feron in the first place, we wouldn't have had the resources to help. And it was you that took the leap of faith and trusted we could protect Oriana."
Miranda nodded, more tears spilling down her face and still feeling her heart in her throat. "It seems so surreal," she said quietly. "I hardly believed we could manage to survive the mission and now we've been given a chance for a fresh start. Cerberus has been my life for so long. They kept watch over Oriana for more than seventeen years, but always with strings attached." She was shaking her head slightly, words failing her.
"Any regrets?" Shepard asked.
"About leaving Cerberus? None. That man is a sociopath. That's certainly clear enough now. And he's led that organization far afield from the ideals it was founded upon." She shrugged slightly. "And it's time for me to stand on my own two feet, get on with my life and actually live it. It's long overdue."
"I'm glad to hear it," Shepard said, beaming with pride.
Miranda then sat down in Shepard's lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. She leaned in closer and pressed her lips against his, kissing him deeply for several long seconds before pulling away and giving him a mischievous, seductive smile and flaring her biotics. "Now, Commander… It's time you get me out of the rest of this bloody armor."
Author's Note:
Chapter 3 is up! My goal with revising this fic (I'm also going to continue it past ME3) is to try to bring out a bit more drama and action. I want to flush out Miranda with more emotions, especially around Shepard, and have her scared of her emotions given how emotionally detached she was. Miranda ultimately will warm up more in the fic and come a lot closer to several characters. Not only that but she's also gonna struggle with fear for Shepard's safety and wellbeing, struggling with these emotions. Also going to really show just how attached Miranda is to Shepard; she didn't really enter a relationship, she jumped off the deep end into her first real relationship. Shepard is the reason why she feels human, why she's beginning to live her life now.
As for Shepard, well, he's going to have an overarching burden that affects him a lot more deeply than in the previous fic. He's gonna deal with not being able to save people, nightmares, PTSD, and generally subjected to more pain and dealt a shittier hand all the while insisting he is fine and refusing help. There WILL be a moment where he does break a bit in front of Miranda. He will push himself further and further with his selflessness, and that's gonna have some repercussions.
I have more plans for the fic that I will reveal later down the line. I aim to try to get one of the revised chapters up every 1-2 days, whereas chapter 46+ will be around 2-5 days. So this will be an active fic and I'll be damned if I don't finish it. As always, please leave a review and tell me what I can work on, what you liked, what you didn't like, suggestions, anything. It really does help and this is one of my first creative writing pieces so I need the feedback!
Yours,
amc555
minor edits 1/6/22