The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 48

by Derald Snyder

*Leanbox City Shopping Mall, 12:38 AM*

(Man, I hate night-shifts...) A-Mac thought to himself as moved around boxes of produce. (Especially when I'm all alone...) Sure, it was a testament of his employers' trusting in him to get work done and not just slack off, but even so... Not only was it almost deathly quiet, save the A/C, there was also the fact that he couldn't get any reception for his myPhone here, which meant he had to walk over and use the office phone if he had to make a call... (My dad invents the best mobile devices in Gamindustri, yet he pays for a cheap provider with lousy coverage...)

As he took a box of lettuce to a shelf in order to re-stock, A-Mac looked over at the glass doors that led to the rest of the mall... fortunately they were locked pretty tight, and glass itself was bulletproof... clearly the owner didn't want to take any chances with thieves or homeless breaking in to steal money or food.

(Can't say the same for the rest of the mall, though,) the young man pondered as he set the box down. (Quite a few of those other stores don't even have doors to speak of... burglars would have a field day...) He began stocking lettuce heads on the shelf, making sure to place them behind the ones already sitting there.

But then, he caught something moving out of the corner of his eye... Turning his head, A-Mac saw someone on the other side of the doors, carrying a large box, who wore a pantyhose stocking over his head to disguise his facial features. Fortunately Arthur was standing out of the direct line of sight from the door, so the other man didn't notice him...

"Oh, boy," he groaned, "Speak of the devil..." Setting a head of lettuce down, he quietly crept up to the door, seeing two other thieves carrying boxes as well. None of them looked to be armed, however.

Part of him knew that he should just run back to the office and call the police... But what if they left before they could get here? So A-Mac quietly unlocked the door, slipping through quietly and following after the men... Peeking into the main hallway, he saw the three of them stack their boxes on the floor, discussing how much money they'd get on the black market for their loot.

(Looks like there's just three of 'em,) Arthur thought as he slipped off his apron. (OK, then, I can do this... just knock 'em out real quick, then go call the police...) Stepping out into the open, he called out, "HOLD IT!"

"Huh?!" the three men turned to see the young man.

"You guys are under arrest!" he called, trying hard not to let his nerves show.

In response, one of the thieves pulled up his stocking, revealing the face of a man in his early thirties. "What are you, night security?"

"More like 'night stock shift'", A-Mac shrugged.

"Oh, give me a break," the thief rolled his eyes as he pulled his stocking back down, he and one other moving in...

Only for the teen to throw his apron in one man's face, then punch the other in the nose, snapping his head back, followed by a few body blows which caused him to keel over. A-Mac then blocked a swing from the other thief, giving him a blow to the ribs, then a hard right to the face, following with a sweep that caused the thief to fall on his butt. "Down we go!" A-Mac said as he kicked the man in the face sending him to the floor.

"Why you...!" The last thief rushed in, A-Mac easily ducking his swing and retaliating with a body blow, then a hook to the face and a kick to the gut, before sweeping him off his feet with a left jab to the face as he fell.

But the thief wasn't done yet, pushing himself back up... "Stay down!" Arthur ordered as he gave the thug a kick to the face, knocking him back down. This time he stayed where he was.

(I did it...!) "Did I mention I'm a high school kickboxing champion?" He asked the thieves rhetorically. (Alright, time to go call the cops...) But as he began to walk off, he looked up and suddenly stopped as several more masked men walked into the area, at least thirty of them!

"Hey, hey, hey!"

"Look at this guy!'

"Let's get 'im!"

A-Mac sweat-dropped. "Uh... help?"

"Yeah, you're gonna need it, kid!" said one thug as they moved in... the young man turned to run, only to see more people coming in the door- he was trapped!

Or was he...?

"Hiiiii-yaaaaah!" The four women cried as they leaped over A-Mac's head, landing in front of the gathered thieves! One immediately stood out...

"Peashy! Man, am I glad to see you!" he gasped in relief. Standing with the blonde were Uzume, IF, and one other woman with long purple hair, dressed in a black-purple parka dress, with D-Pad clips in her hair...

"NEPTUNE!" One thug pointed in horror. "It's the main heroine!" The thieves' resolve vanished as they immediately broke off and scattered.

"Let's get outta here!"

"Go go GO!"

"Move it, move it!"

The adult Neptune swiftly jumped and kicked a fleeing thug in the face, knocking him down. "Awesome!"

Peach knocked down another thief with a roundhouse. "Wicked!"

Uzume and IF knocked down two more with a punch and kick, respectively. "Eclectic!" IF declared.

"Eclectic...?" the redhead looked over at IF confusedly, a thief taking advantage to punch her in the face! "Owie!" She cried as she fell over.

"Uh, whoops," IF sweat-dropped, quickly equipping her qatars to fend off more thugs.

Meanwhile Peashy was punching out a few more thugs... but looking back at A-Mac, she realized her half-brother wasn't moving, staring slack-jawed at the elder Neptune. (Uh-oh, he's a sitting duck...) Thinking quickly, she grabbed a nearby tarp and rushed over to the young man, wrapping him up and lifting him off the ground!

"HEY! Lemme go! What're you doing?!" A-Mac yelled in protest as Peach carried him over to a square trash can, knocking off the top and dumping him inside.

"Sorry, A-Mac, it's for your own good!" Peashy apologized before rushing back into the fight. Arthur struggled and managed to get himself out of the tarp, though he was still stuck in the can. But at least now he could see what was going on...

Not far away, IF was using her qatars to fend off a few thugs, one trying to sneak up from behind, only to get kicked away. Looking for his sister, A-Mac spotted her in front of the sporting goods store...

"Get along there, little bugger!" The blonde cried, wielding a velcro strap as a thug came at her with a bowling pin, easily dodging the man's clumsy swing and whipping him in the butt! "Ha ha! Rawhide!" The thief rubbed his rump briefly before swinging again, only for Peashy to catch him by the wrist, flip him over, and hogtie him with the velcro strap before he could recover!

"Yeeee-haaa!" Peach cried in triumph, twirling an imaginary pair of revolvers. "Calamity Jane, eat your heart out!"

Meanwhile, Adult Neptune was in the toy store, having found a yo-yo which she used to knock a table-tennis paddle out of a thug's hand, before kicking him down. Turning she saw a few more thugs approaching, attempting to surround her. "Oh, you guys wanna play, too?" The yo-yo lashed out, hitting one guy in the face and knocking him out. "Heehee, now watch this!"

The thieves braced themselves, only for Neptune to start rolling the yo-yo along the ground instead. "The old 'walk the dog' trick! Pretty good, huh?" She flicked her wrist, snapping the yo-yo back to her hand. "And then... AROUND THE WORLD!" She swung the yo-yo around and knocked all the thugs down at once!

Back with IF, she had retreated into the clothing store, facing a thug armed with a baseball bat. "Hey, now you see 'em, now you don't!" She flung her qatars upward, embedding them in the ceiling, then jumping to grasp them, lifting her body out of the line of fire as the thief swung-

-and clobbered his fellow thug who'd tried to sneak up from behind. Before the bat-wielding thug could comprehend what he'd just done, IF lashed out with a kick and sent him to dreamland.

"Hah!" Uzume yelled as she punched another thief into a steel pillar, who promptly slumped down unconscious. Backing off a little, the redhead suddenly felt something brush against her back, swiftly turning- only to see a clown mannequin rocking on a wobbly spring base. "Oh, it's just a dummy..." But then, a light bulb went off in the CPU's head...

Seeing a flash come from the party goods store, a thief ran inside to check it out. Looking around, he saw his downed comrade, then turned and saw an HDD CPU, recoiling! But she didn't move, except rocking back and forth, completely stiff, one hand raised with a finger pointing in his direction... "Oh, it's just a dummy," he muttered, walking closer. But it wasn't any of the four CPUs that he knew of... none of them had orange hair, after all. "Must be a bootleg," the man said as it rocked closer, only for the finger to suddenly tickle his chest, eliciting a giggle! "Hey! Dumb piece of crap!" he grunted, shoving it away.

"Uzume wants to play!" the dummy stated, her head turning robotically to face the thug. "Uzume will send you to dreamland!" She suddenly turned and raised her hands in a very UN-dummy like manner! "RAAAAHH!"

"WHOA!"

"RAAHHHHHH!"

"Yaaahhhh it's aliiiiiiive!" The thug screamed and fled in a panic as Orange Heart gave chase!

"Ha ha! Good one Uzume!" Adult Neptune laughed as she watched the scene, standing nearby the concession stand. She then ducked a swing from a thug, sitting up on the counter and knocking him down with a kick...

Only for another thief to rush in and shove her, the purple-haired woman crying out in surprise as she fell behind the counter! "Gotcha, bitch," the thug sneered...

Only for Neptune to pop back up, whipping a package of hot dogs wrapped in plastic around the man's neck! "Ha HA! Gotcha back! WHEEEEEE!" She cried as she pulled the thug over the counter.

Another thief ran up to the concession stand, pulling up the one who Neptune had kicked down earlier. "You alright, Tom?"

"Yeah, Harry, I think so," Tom groaned as he checked his face. "But Dick isn't!" He pointed at the concession stand, as Neptune rose up holding something in her hands...

"You wanna pickle? Here, have a whole jar!" she cried, bringing said jar down swiftly... there was the sound of glass breaking, then a body hitting the ground, Tom and Harry wincing at Dick's likely fate. Neptune then popped back up, climbing back onto the counter, spotting two pairs of footlong hot dogs which were wrapped in plastic, hanging like nunchakus... Grinning, the heroine grabbed a pair in each hand, yelling, "Combat cold cuts!" With a battle cry, she started twirling her makeshift nunchakus with expert precision as she approached the thugs, who quickly turned and ran off screaming!

Neptune gave chase until the thieves had run out the door, stopping and throwing the hot dogs after them. "That's right, you better run! And next time, I'll use ketchup and mustard!" Giggling at her own joke, the heroine walked back into the mall, seeing that her fellow women had pretty much mopped up the rest of the criminals. Then she spotted someone struggling to get out of a trash can... realizing that he wasn't wearing a mask, she walked to the can, saying, "Hey, gimme your hand. Come on..." The young man reached up, grabbing Neptune's hand, who pulled him up and out easily.

"Ah... who, wha, where... huh?!" A-Mac babbled in confusion as looked upon the older Neptune, before turning to see Peach and the other two walk up.

"I think you left out 'why' and 'when'," IF snarked, sharing a low-five with Neptune.

"Yeah, it's a good thing we miscalculated the time change when we war-ow," the heroine was cut off as IF subtly kicked her in the shin. "Uh, I mean, uh, when we flew in from Planep-OW!" She cried again as Uzume smacked her on the head.

"Ixnay on the upid-stay, Big Nepsy," the redhead chided.

"Look, little bro," Peashy sighed, "How 'bout you go outside where there's reception and call the police. We'll start tying 'em up."

A-Mac hesitated. "Yeah, yeah, b-but I- but wha-"

"Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! I don't wanna hear it!" Peach cut him off. "Look I'll explain everything later, alright? Now GO!" she pointed, A-Mac reluctantly turning and running off. The blonde turned back to her companions, raising her arms in a helpless shrug. "Kids."

Everyone briefly burst into laughter at that, as they began their task of cleaning up all the prone bodies strewn about...

*Later, outside...*

"Do I sound like I'm trying to prank you here?!" Arthur shouted into the phone. "...Yes. Alright, OK! Just hurry up, willya? There's a ton of these guys! ...OK, bye." He hung up his myPhone and put it away before dashing back to the mall. He tripped at the entranceway, but managed to catch himself on his hands before he face-planted. Getting back up, he jogged in at a slower pace...

Only to stop and stare at the sight before him. The unconscious thugs had all been thrown into a large pile, with one thug hanging from a ceiling beam by his belt strap. (Well, serves them right,) he thought to himself. Aloud he said, "So, did I mention my half-sister used to teach CQC in the Leanbox Army?"

"Obviously not," a voice spoke up behind him, A-Mac turning to see none other than Peach herself. "That was a pretty good workout, though... Oh, and the others went back to their hotel. So, you and I are gonna keep an eye on these guys until the cops show up..."

"OK, sure," the young man nodded in agreement. "But could you at least tell me who that girl was- that one that looked like Lady Neptune, but all grown-up?!"

"Oh, right," Peashy sighed, rubbing her temples. "Well, simply put, she IS Neptune, just from an alternate universe..."

A-Mac stared at her in disbelief. "You're joking, right?"

"No joke, A-Mac. I've actually been there..." Peach stated. "She's from the same place that Plutia is, don't you remember?"

"Plutia...? Oh, yeah! Now I remember! Wow, so Plutia's the CPU there, while Neptune is a normal girl?"

"Something like that... On that note, maybe I should tell you a bit more about Plutia..." Peach said, only to hear sirens. "Ugh, guess it'll have to wait until later... look, don't say anything to the cops about that Neptune... just say she has purple hair like Neptuna's or something, okay?"

"Got it," A-Mac nodded, as he and his sister walked to the entrance to wait for the police...

*Episode 48- End*