The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy
Episode 56
by Derald Snyder
*Steve DeRommer's House*
"Alright, everyone ready?" Steve asked his wife and kids. "Wait, where's iPhone?"
"I'm coming!" the ten-year old grunted as she came down the stairs, hefting a doll that was almost as big as she was.
"Is that... supposed to be a penguin?" Steve sweat-dropped.
"I got it for her," iPad explained. "I saw it in the window of that small antique toy store when we went shopping with Mom the other day, and I thought it looked pretty cute!"
"It is cute!" iPhone agreed. "It even makes a noise when you squeeze it!"
"But it's got peg-legs," A-Mac observed.
"I think it's supposed to be a pirate penguin," iPhone said, "because I looked in it's pouch, and I discovered some toy knives and play money..."
"Toy knives?! Let's hope they're not too sharp," Laura said.
"The eyes are a little creepy too," Arthur muttered, "they almost look like they're staring right through me..."
"I'm sure that's just your imagination at work, Big Brother," iPad sighed.
"Well, anyway, let's get going, everyone!" Steve exclaimed, the others following him out to the van...
*At the event...*
"So, is Big Sis gonna be here?" iPhone inquired as they walked down the sidewalk.
"She should be," A-Mac nodded, "probably coming here with Adrian... Hey, Nicole!" Nisa turned and waved, wearing her trademark goggles and red scarf, as well as a black t-shirt and blue denim shorts. "Glad to see you could make it!"
"Well, of course!" the Hero of Justice nodded, "After all, it's been ages since I last met Nepgear and the others, figured it was time to say hello..." She then eyed the penguin toy in iPhone's hands, doing a slight double-take. "Wh-what is that?!"
"It's a pirate penguin toy!" the youngest sister replied. "Isn't it just the cutest thing?"
"I bought it for her!" iPad proclaimed proudly.
"Something wrong, Nicole...?" Arthur noted the haunted look on his girlfriend's face.
"It's a Prinny!" Nisa blurted out.
"Oh, that's what it's called? So you've seen this toy before?" Laura inquired.
"Y-yeah, yes I have," the bluenette babbled.
"So why the shocked face, then?" Steve inquired curiously.
"Oh, um..." Nicole closed her eyes in thought for a moment. "Well, uh, you see, the thing is... I saw a kid awhile back carrying one of these around, and then he chucked it through the air for fun... but on impact, it exploded!"
"Exploded?!" iPad and iPhone cried in unison.
"Dear Goddess, I hope no one was hurt!" Laura exclaimed.
"N-no, he was fine," Nisa shook her head. "Um, hey iPhone, can I take a look at that Prinny? I just wanna make sure it's not rigged like the other one was... just to set my mind at ease."
"Yes, here you are," the ten-year-old promptly handed the penguin to Nicole. "I highly doubt that it's rigged, but I don't want to take any chances either..."
"Thanks. I'll be right back, I promise!" With that, Nisa ran off...
*In a secluded spot...*
Looking around to make sure no one else was in the area, Nisa lifted up the Prinny so they could see eye-to-eye. "Alright, no one's around to eavesdrop, so you can drop the toy act. What are you doing here?"
No response.
"OK, fine..." Nicole abruptly lifted the penguin toy over her head! "I'll just tell iPhone that you were rigged and blew up!"
"Ahhhh! No no no, don't do it, dood!" the Prinny yelled as it started flailing helplessly. "I'll talk! I'll talk!"
"Thought so," Nisa said she lowered her captive to eye-level again. "Now then, who sent you? You Prinnies are always working for another demon..."
"Hear me out, dood!" the Prinny exclaimed. "We heard about some strange portal that appeared in Prinny Land, so the Overlord sent us Prinnies to check it out, dood! But while I was looking around, I suddenly fell into some strange void, and next thing I know, I'm in this land full of cute and busty chicks, dood! So I hid myself by acting like a toy in a nearby store! But I didn't expect anyone would actually buy me, dood!"
"...So, you're saying you're here by accident?" Nisa raised an eyebrow.
"That's the truth, dood, I swear! I don't even know how to get back, dood!" the Prinny insisted. "Actually, I'm kinda happy to see someone I know, dood!"
"Oh, my reputation precedes me, huh?" the bluenette responded.
"That's right! The famous Hero of Justice, protecting the peace of the netherworld, dood!" the Prinny exclaimed happily. "You've got quite the following among us Prinnies, dood!"
"...dunno if I should feel flattered or disturbed, given who you guys were in most of your previous lives," Nisa muttered. "Then again, if I inspire you to become better people when you reincarnate, I guess that's a good thing... Alright, I'll give you back to iPhone for now. Just keep in mind, she's my boyfriend's little sister, so if you know what's good for you, you'll keep your beak shut and not cause any trouble!"
"No problem, dood!" the Prinny saluted. "Just one thing, though..." He started rummaging through his pouch, before suddenly producing a pen and a pad of paper! "Can I have your autograph, Nisa, dood?!"
The Hero of Justice sweat-dropped as her eyes shrank to circles in shock...
*Back with the DeRommer family...*
"Took you long enough," A-Mac observed as Nicole returned with the Prinny in tow.
"Sorry, it's really crowded around here!" Nisa apologized. "Anyway, I checked it, and it's all good! Just try not to drop it, you might lose in the crowds!" she said to iPhone as she gave the 'toy' back.
"I'll keep a good hold of it, I promise!" iPhone nodded. "Anyway, shouldn't we get to our seats?"
"Yeah, we should," Steve nodded.
"Hey Dad, everybody!" A familiar voice called out as Peach and Adrian appeared from the crowds.
"Hey, Peashy! You made it!" Arthur said as he exchanged a high-five with his half-sister. "I'm guessing your mom's not coming?"
"Too noisy for her," the blonde shrugged. "I'm gonna take some pictures to show her later..."
"Well, tell Lisa we said 'hi', won't you?' Steve requested. "Anyway, let's go find a place to sit down..."
*And so, in the stands of the local football stadium...*
"So, I wonder what this special event is all about," Adrian mused as the group got comfortable.
"Well, I know Nepgear is involved, which is why Lady Vert lent her the stadium for today," Peach explained.
"Giant robot!" iPad declared. "Calling it now!"
"That's an 87% probability," iPhone agreed, holding her Prinny in her lap. "Most likely, they're keeping it under wraps after that scare with terrorists taking over the Basilicom..."
"I bet that was scary, huh Big Sis?" iPad asked.
"A little bit," Peach admitted. "I was really more scared for Lady Vert and Chika's safety, though..."
"Too bad I couldn't have done something to help," Nisa lamented. "But by the time I heard about it, it was already all over..."
"Is that why you started going to gym with Arthur?" iPhone inquired.
"Part of the reason," the bluenette nodded... "Oh, I think I see Chika out there!" Sure enough, the Leanbox Oracle was standing on a rising platform with a microphone in hand.
"Looks like it's about to start," Steve observed.
"Do any of you have to go to the bathroom?" Laura asked her children, receiving answers in the negative. "Okay, just remember, you had your chance!"
"Attention! May I have your attention, please!" Chika Hakozaki's voice echoed from the stadium speakers. "Thank you all for coming to this event, which was made possible by cooperation between the two nations of Leanbox and Planeptune! As I'm sure many of you know, Planeptune's CPU Candidate, Nepgear, is a mechanical expert whose genius is nearly unrivaled. And today, she wishes to show the world her newest creation!"
"Now I'm sure many of you are asking, 'Where exactly is this new project at? I see nothing but an empty stadium!' Well, you'll realize the reason soon enough!" Turning, the greenette ordered some personnel, "Shut off the cloaking device!"
"Here it comes!" iPhone squeaked in excitement.
"Dooood!" the Prinny squealed.
"You squeezed it too hard," Nisa deadpanned.
"Sorry..." Just then, a very large object flickered into view, taking up a good chunk of stadium space! It looked like a robot version of Nepgear, with a large extension cord for a tail and a TV set for a head!
"Hello everyone!" Nepgear's voice was heard. "Rom, wave hi!" The right arm of the giant robot rose up high, before dropping back down, causing the whole thing to wobble slightly. "Be careful! Don't let it just drop like that!"
"Sorry, Miss Nepgear..." Rom's voice was heard.
"*Ahem* Anyway, as you've just heard, Rom's in here with me, as well as Ram and Uni! We're all working together to pilot my newest and greatest creation, which I have dubbed... NEPGEARDAM 2.0!"
"Ooooohh! Aaaaaahh!" the crowds gasped in admiration and awe.
"That looks really weird," iPad said.
"Obviously based on the previous Nepgeardam design," Peach deadpanned. "That one was only about 1 1/2 times Nepgear's height..."
"To scale it up this massively... it's clearly a testament to Nepgear's genius," iPhone observed. "No wonder Lady Vert keeps trying to take her for herself..."
"I don't think that's the only reason..." Adrian muttered.
"Alright Uni, you ready to make this thing walk?" Nepgear declared.
"Ready!" Uni responded.
"Hold it, ladies!" Chika suddenly shouted, before pointing down near the Nepgeardam's right foot. "Excuse me, young woman, I must ask that you remove yourself from the field immediately, lest you get accidentally crushed underfoot!"
"Seriously?!" iPad sighed. "Why are some people such idiots?!"
"iPad, be nice," Laura chastised.
"She's got a point, though," A-Mac said as he, Peach and Nisa stood up to get a better look down below, seeing a lithe female figure standing by the giant robot. But then, the woman leaped into the air... and kept rising, a pair of bat wings unfurling from behind her!
"What the-?!" Nisa gasped as the woman kept rising, a pointed tail suddenly visible... as she flew in front of the sun, the Hero of Justice noted a pair of spiked pigtails! "Oh no! Don't tell me that's Etna...!"
"Dood! Master Etna's here?!" the Prinny abruptly spoke up in surprise, drawing a shocked expression from iPhone.
"Wh-who's Etna, Nicole?" Arthur asked in confusion.
"A demon from the netherworld!" Nisa replied, seeing said demon land atop the Nepgeardam's TV-head, the crowds muttering in confusion. "She- she's going after the CPU Candidates!"
"WHAT?!" the rest of the group cried in shock and horror...
*Inside the Nepgeardam...*
"W-why is there someone on the field?" Rom wondered.
"Probably some drunk or something," Ram guessed. "Hope they get 'em off soon, I wanna have fun with this thing!"
"We can't move until Chika gives the all-clear," Nepgear insisted. Just then a click was heard, the four girls turning to see a red-haired woman dressed in skimpy leather!
"Surprise, suckers!" Etna said with a devilish grin as she summoned a spear and thrust it into the controls!
KA-BOOOOM!
*Back outside...*
The audience screamed in terror as the Nepgeardam's TV screen suddenly went to static, before cracking and exploding!
"Oh no!" Peashy, A-Mac, iPad and iPhone all yelled in unison, watching as the four CPU Candidates fell out of the giant robot, which itself fell down and landed on it's back, with the force of a 3.0 earthquake!
"Damn it!" Nisa cried as she saw Etna leap down, "Those four don't stand a chance against her in human form!"
"We gotta get down there!" Peach cried. "Adrian, call the Army for backup! A-Mac, get Dad and family outta here! Nicole, let's go!" Without waiting she began making her way down to the field, shoving through the throngs of fleeing civilians...
"Right!" the brunette nodded as she grabbed the Prinny out of iPhone's arms! "Sorry, but I need this!"
"What are you doing, dood?!" the 'penguin' cried in shock.
"Well, now that I know you're a spy for Etna, I'm gonna turn you against her!" Nisa retorted sharply as she started to push through the crowds herself...
*Down on the field...*
"You're finished!" Etna declared as she touched down, charging at the four goddesses, kicking Rom aside before she could get up, then sending Uni head over heels with a swing of her spear, then ducking and rolling under Nepgear's attempt at a kick, before backhanding her aside!
"Yahh!" Ram tried to retaliate with her wand, only for Etna to easily block the swing with her Elder Spear, before flinging the youngest Lowee sister away! The redhead then dropped her spear and jumped into the air, her legs going around Nepgear's neck and her arms grabbing Uni around the neck, before hurling them both to the ground!
However, Rom had recovered and helped Ram to her feet, the two sisters then holding their wands out. "Freeze!" they intoned, sending a magical ice crystal at the demon...
"Fryer Fire Frapperisque!" Etna cried, summoning a blast of fire magic which easily neutralized the ice! Retrieving her Elder Spear, she then charged at the twins, knocking Ram aside with a swing, Rom ducking the spear, only to get kicked in the face and knocked off her feet! But before she could press the attack any further, a muscular busty blonde landed in front of her!
"You think you're so tough, you coward?!" Peach challenged. "How about taking on someone closer to your weight class?!"
"With pleasure~" Etna smiled, before suddenly hurling her spear at her new opponent, who got a cut to the shoulder as she tried to dodge! Despite this, Peach gritted her teeth and charged, ducking under the demon's high kick, lashing out with a right hook that was blocked, then kicking herself, which was dodged.
A few more blows were exchanged and blocked before Peach managed to grab both of Etna's arms, squeezing and pushing her back... only for the demon to abruptly kick Peashy in the groin, causing her grip to loosen, Etna breaking free and striking the blonde in her shoulder wound, causing her to cry out in pain! She then followed up with two jabs to the D-cups, then a left hook that sent the bodyguard sprawling! "Miss Peach!" Nepgear cried in dismay as she and the others ran up to her.
"Oh no...!" Uni gasped as she saw Etna gathering magical energy...
"Fryer Fireball Frapperisque!" The fireball flew forward and exploded, scattering the CPU Candidates as they were engulfed in flames, screaming in agony! Etna laughed evilly in triumph...
"LOOK OUT, DOOD!" a panicked voice cut in, the demon turning just in time to see a Prinny flying at her, which promptly exploded on impact, covering her in soot!
"*cough* What the hell?" Etna grunted as she wiped off her face. "Who dares throw a Prinny at-"
(Music- 'This Justice In My Heart'- Hyperdimension Neptunia mk2)
"JUSTICE KICK!" The redhead was suddenly nailed with a flying kick to the chest that sent her skidding back a few feet! Looking up, Etna's eyes went wide at the new arrival, whose blue hair and red scarf flew in the wind! "When the gates to the bowels of hell crack open, the Hero of Justice is there to slam them back shut!"
"Nisa?!" the flat-chested demon cried in shock. "What the hell are you doing here?!"
"For your information, I live here! This is my home world!" Nicole declared. "And now you'll pay for such a vicious attack on my friends, Demon Lord Etna!"
"That's Beauty Queen Etna to you!" the redhead retorted. "And you could never defeat me in a fight before, what makes you think this time'll be any different?!" With that, she thrust her Elder Spear forward...
"Rainy Ratnapura!" Chika suddenly jumped in with her multi-thrusting skill, forcing the Demon Lord to block!
"That's why," Nisa grinned. "Because I'm not fighting alone!"
"Argh!" Etna growled, her eyes glowing yellow. "Who the hell are you?!"
"I am Chika Hakozaki, Oracle of Leanbox, and second-in-command to Lady Vert herself!" the greenette proclaimed. "In place of the goddess, I will punish you for hurting Nepgear and the others!"
"Goddess, huh?" Etna mused as she regained her composure. "Good, now I know who's ass to kick to take over this world! And you two are nothing but tiny stepping stones for my rise!"
"We'll see about that!" Nisa and Chika declared in unison, taking their stances.
*To be continued...*