The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 58

by Derald Snyder

*A short while later, at the local hospital...*

Lisa Macintosh stepped off the elevator, looking around desperately as she walked down the hallway, being mindful of passing personnel... Soon, she spotted the familiar face of her ex-husband, with most of his family around him. "Steve!" she marched up to him. "Where's my baby? Where is she?!"

"Calm down, Lisa," Steve gently gripped her shoulders. "Peach is gonna be fine, she just got a bad cut to the shoulder, lost a little blood. They're going to keep her overnight for observation..."

"Yeah, but you should thank Nicole for jumping in before she was hurt worse," A-Mac spoke up.

"Your girlfriend? ...I suppose I should then. But where is she? Did she get hurt, too?" Lisa inquired.

"No, she's being debriefed by Lady Vert and the army right now," Laura answered. "Apparently she and that Demon Lord have met before..."

"It's all my fault!" iPad cried, looking despondent. "If only I hadn't bought that stupid Prinny from the toy store, this wouldn't have happened...!"

"iPad, stop it. It was not your fault," Laura chastised. "We've been over this before..."

"Yes, even I believed it to just be a stuffed toy," iPhone pointed out. "And I'm supposed to be a genius. So stop beating yourself up over it!"

(Do I even want to know...?) Lisa pondered, before shaking her head. "Anyway, where's Peach at?"

"Right this way..." Steve escorted her off...

*Peach's hospital room*

"Hi Mom," Peashy greeted as her mother and father entered. She was sitting in a hospital bed, hooked to an IV drip, her shoulder bandaged and the corresponding arm in a sling. "It looks worse than it is, I promise..."

"Oh, Peach," Lisa sighed as walked up and gave her daughter a hug. "I'm just glad you're okay..." Pulling back, she said, "Is it true that you fought with a hell-demon?"

"Yeah..." the younger blonde nodded. "But before you yell at me, lemme say that I did it to save Nepgear and the others from getting killed..."

"Give her credit for keeping her head when everyone else was panicking," Steve added.

"...I see. Well, I suppose I'll let you off this once," Lisa demurred, "But please, don't do anything that reckless ever again. I was scared enough when I heard about the terrorist attack..."

"I know, Mom. I'm sorry," Peach winced.

"...Where's Adrian, though? You'd think he'd be at your side..." Lisa asked in confusion.

"I think he's with Nicole right now," Steve said. "I'm sure he'll be here soon enough..."

*Meanwhile, in the intensive care unit...*

"Oh, my poor Nepgeardam!" Nepgear cried as she sobbed into Chika's shoulder, seemingly uncaring that her body was covered in burns. "All my hard work and effort, reduced to a giant pile of scrap metal...! Why...?!"

Chika could only sighed as she awkwardly embraced the despondent CPU Candidate. (Lady Vert, you are much better suited for this task than I...) Just then, a familiar flat-chested CPU stormed in, one eye glowing red with anger.

"Thunder Tits, I got a bone to pick with... huh?" Blanc's face reverted to a confused look. "Chika? Where's Vert at? I thought for sure she'd be with Nepgear..."

"Eh-heh... I'm sure she'll be here soon enough," Nepgear said.

"She's with Nisa right now, interrogating her about the Demon Lord that attacked the stadium," Chika replied.

At hearing that name, confusion flickered across both goddess' faces. "Nisa...? I've heard that name before, but where...?" Blanc said as she racked her brain.

"It sounds really familiar for some reason..." Nepgear bit her lip.

"The Hero of Justice who is even flatter than you are, Lady Blanc," Chika deadpanned.

That registered. "Ohhhh!" The two gasped in realization. "That Nisa!"

"Goodness, it's been years, hasn't it?" Nepgear continued. "Where has she been all this time?"

"From what she told me, she ended up being sent to the netherworld due to one of MAGES.'s dimensional experiments gone horribly wrong," the Oracle of Leanbox elaborated. "Apparently she only managed to find her way back just recently..."

"The netherworld?" Blanc blinked in disbelief. "Are you shitting me, Chika?"

"I'm only telling you what she told me," the greenette demurred. "But given that she knew so much about that demon's fighting style, I'm inclined to believe she was telling the truth."

"Oh, goodness..." Tears now threatened the corners of Nepgear's eyes. "Poor Nisa, to have to suffer in the depths of hell like that... she didn't deserve it..." Before the conversation could proceed any further, two more arrivals entered, those being CPU and Adult Neptunes.

"Nep Jr! Are you okay?!" the smaller Neptune cried as she flung her arms around her sister. "Man, I feel so bad right now... if only I hadn't nodded off during your giant robot show-off, Big Nep and I could've come to save you...!"

"I-it's all right, Neptune," Nepgear forced a smile despite the pain from being hugged. "Um, I am kind of burned, though..."

"Oh, whoops!" Neptune swiftly withdrew. "B-but you're gonna be okay, right?"

"She'll probably be mostly fine in a week at most, if she's anything like you and me," Adult Neptune spoke. "Hey there, Blanc! Shouldn't you be checking on your sisters?"

"I already have," the Lowee CPU replied. "Rom was sleeping, but Ram couldn't apologize enough for being unable to fight off that demon... I told her over and over again it wasn't her fault, there's no way she could've seen that coming..."

"None of us did," Chika nodded grimly. "I might have protested at the time, but thank goodness Macintosh kept dragging me to the gym to re-train myself... Nisa was doing the same, and it was only thanks to that that we survived as long as we did, until Lady Vert and the army showed up..."

"Wait, Nisa?!" Neptune turned to the Leanbox Oracle in shock. "Holy fish sticks, where has she been all this time?!"

"Who's Nisa?" the older Neptune said in confusion.

Chika could only sigh as she prepared to explain again...

*In Uni's hospital room...*

"I'm so sorry, Noire!" Uni lamented to her sister who had just arrived. "I should have done something, but she was on us so fast, I couldn't even summon my sniper rifle...!"

"Uni." Noire's utterance halted the CPU Candidate's babbling. "I'm not mad at you. There was nothing you could have done. If I was in your position, the same thing would have happened."

"It was a well-executed stealth attack, to be sure," a voice behind Noire spoke up, causing the tsundere CPU to scream and jump almost a foot in the air. "I hardly could have done a better job myself..."

"Steamax!" Noire whirled around, "Don't DO that! I almost had a heart attack, and these doctors and nurses are overworked as it is!"

"S-sorry, Lady Noire," the ninja put a hand behind his head in embarrassment, "But I was right behind you the whole time... I though you would have noticed sooner or later..."

"I should have told you he was there," Uni sighed. It was at this point that Rom and Ram entered, still dressed in hospital gowns. "Rom! Ram! Are you two feeling better already?"

"Well, as soon as Rom woke up, she grabbed her wand and healed us both," Ram explained. "Took a bit out of her though, so the nurse told her not to try doing that for anyone else..."

"I had to do something..." the other Lowee sister said, looking slightly unsteady on her feet. "Even if I was useless in that battle, I could still do something afterwards..."

"There you two are!" Blanc strode into the room. "Now listen here, I don't care if you two are healed, you should stay in your room until the doctor clears you both!"

"I-it was Ram who wandered off..." Rom stated. "I was just following her so she didn't get lost..."

"I knew where I was going!" Ram protested.

Blanc just heaved a sigh and took both sisters by the hand, dragging them back to their room... "Sorry about this," she apologized to Noire and the others.

"Don't worry about it, Lady Blanc," Steamax spoke up, causing the goddess to scream and fall over in shock, Ram bursting into laughter with Rom giggling along with her...

*A short while ago, back at the stadium...*

"Her name is Etna," Nisa began her exposition, Adrian standing by her side, Vert and a few other high-ranking Army officers sitting at the other side of the table. "She's a Majin, or Demon Lord, which is just one step below Overlord. But don't let that fool you, she's easily as strong as any Overlord out there. In fact, the only reason she's not an Overlord is that she doesn't rule a netherworld of her own. Instead she serves as the right hand of Overlord Laharl. On a side note, we probably won't have to worry too much about him..."

"Why not?" Vert raised an eyebrow curiously.

"He has an aversion to sexy bodies," Nicole deadpanned, "which was one of the reasons he let me stay at his castle despite being a hero..."

"Ahhh," the Army officers gasped in comprehension.

"In other words, he wouldn't stand a chance against Lady Vert, especially after she transforms," Adrian expounded. "I think I see what's going on here... because the Overlord wouldn't touch our Goddess with a ten-foot pole, Demon Lord Etna saw an opportunity to conquer another world without his interference..."

"I wouldn't be surprised," Nisa agreed. "Like Laharl himself always says, a true demon is always full of ambition, and aims for the top. And once she heard about this event with Nepgear, she probably jumped on the chance to get several Goddesses out of the way in one fell swoop..."

"And if it hadn't been for you, Peach, and Chika, it would have worked," Adrian nodded grimly. "Fortunately, thanks to our advanced medical technology and knowledge of healing magic, the CPU Candidates should be back on their feet in a few days at most..."

"I just hope that little Nepgear can get over her giant robot getting wrecked," Vert sighed. "She was so happy when I agreed to help, even after Histoire refused..."

"Do you think Lady Vert could triumph over this Demon Lord?" one of the Army officers asked.

Nisa bit her lip at this... "Let me put it this way- she makes the Deity of Sin look almost like a Dogoo in comparison. Or at best, an Obese Dogoo..."

"We are far stronger than we were back then," Vert countered. "If we Goddesses all team up together, we might just stand a chance..."

"Does she have any weaknesses?" another Army officer asked with a hint of desperation.

"Well, she can kinda be on the lazy side sometimes," Nicole said after a moment. "That's why Chika and I were able to hold our own for so long- she wasn't taking us seriously, at least until Chika insulted her lack of assets... Maybe if we make it too much of a hassle for her to try and conquer Gamindustri..."

"So, if she expects to steamroll over us, but encounters significantly more resistance than she expected, then Etna might just give up and go away?" Adrian reiterated.

"It's possible," Nisa allowed. "But until then we'll have to remain vigilant..."

"One more thing," Vert asked, "Is it possible that Etna came through the same portal that you did to finally return here?"

"No. Absolutely not," the bluenette answered firmly. "One, that portal was from a different netherworld entirely, and two, I used a special bomb I'd acquired on my netherworld travels to disrupt and destroy that portal so no demons would follow me..."

"Then how did Etna find her way here?" an Army officer asked. "Or was it just dumb luck?"

"I dunno," Nicole mused. "The reason I got sent to the netherworld in the first place was because an experiment by 5pb.'s cousin MAGES. went wrong in the worst way possible, without me ending up dead outright..." She looked up. "Lady Vert, do you know what kind of things she's been working on lately? It just dawned on me that I never contacted her to tell her I made it back, 'cause I was just so relieved to finally be home..."

"I'll contact 5pb. and see if she can get ahold of her cousin," Vert stood up. "In the meantime, could you describe Etna's combat capabilities to Adrian and the Army officers? After a short break, of course..."

"Sure," the Hero of Justice nodded. "Anything I can do to help... First thing off the bat, DO NOT insult her chest size. You think I get upset over my lack of a figure? She's ten times- no, a hundred times worse! Guaranteed one-way trip to hell, no pun intended!"

Everyone in the room blanched at hearing this...

*Netherworld Hospital, Overlord Laharl's Castle*

Etna stretched as she walked out of the hospital, sporting a bandage on her right cheek where Chika had scratched her. "So much for terrifying everyone into obedience with a flashy, explosive entrance... But hell, who expected Nisa to show up?!"

"I didn't expect to see her either, dood," a Prinny spoke up as he waddled out of the hospital. "Sorry about getting blown up on you, Master Etna, dood..."

"Oh, really?" the Demon Lord turned on her subordinate, her tail twitching in annoyance. "And how do I know you didn't follow Nisa willingly? I know she has a following among your kind..."

"Th-that's not it, dood!" the Prinny stammered. "Her boyfriend's sister bought me when I tried to pose as a stuffed toy in a store window, dood! I-it was just a coincidence, I swear, dood!"

"Is that so?" Etna bent down, suddenly swiping the Prinny's pouch and opening it. "Let's just see here... your knives... your HL... your bombs... AH-HA!" She pulled out a familiar pad of paper. "'To my fan, Nisa, Hero of Justice'! I'd say that's solid proof of treason!" She smiled menacingly. "And you know what I do to traitors..."

The Prinny's eyes went blank as sweat poured down his head and beak, seeing intense pain and suffering in his immediate future...

*To be continued...*