The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 60

by Derald Snyder

"In the name of my fallen bodyguard, en garde!" Green Heart declared, holding her spear at the ready.

The dark Cleric Rayna opened with an energy bolt that suddenly split into several smaller bolts, however these were easily deflected by the goddess rapidly spinning her spear. "You'll have to do much better than that."

"As you wish!" the brunette smiled as she jumped onto a nearby light post. "Zielregen!" Several arrows were shot that rained down on Green Heart's location, but the goddess easily flew out of the AOE. "Oh, you don't get off that easy! Bright Canopus!" This time several beams of light were shot that easily tracked the CPU...

"Inbetween Spear!" Green Heart answered, the pointed energy projectiles neutralizing the brunt of the attack, though a few still hit for negligible damage, while the larger projectile shot right at Rayna, forcing her to jump off the light post just before it was destroyed, landing ingloriously on her back.

"Owww..." the Cleric groaned as she picked her head up... only to see her opponent's spear pointed right in her face! "Wah! Geez, you're fast!"

"Those attacks weren't half bad, but I know third-rate magicians that could do better," Green Heart critiqued. "Perhaps it would be in your best interest to surrender now, and heal my dear Peach..."

Rayna's response was to knock the spear aside with her bow, quickly summoning a dark arrow... "Dark Spica!" The Leanbox CPU cried out in surprise as she was suddenly pulled into a miniature black hole, which then collapsed on itself! But due to the hasty execution, it did a flat zero damage.

However, the intent hadn't been to hurt, but to hold Green Heart in place while the Cleric righted herself and got some distance between them again. "Alright, let's see how you like this! Meteor Arrow Kick!" Jumping in the air, Rayna fired several flaming arrows down at the CPU, before coming down with a vicious axe kick...

But this time, Green Heart stood her ground, gritting her teeth as the fire arrows hit their target, but when her opponent came down, she cried "Rainy Ratnapura!", assaulting the Cleric with several rapid spear thrusts, sending her backwards and landing on her butt!

"Nnngghhh..." Rayna groaned as she picked herself up, several bloody tears visible in her clothing. "Mega Heal!" A green aura surrounded the brunette, closing her wounds and refilling her HP. But when she pulled up her bow to fire again, it abruptly split in two, the bottom half clattering on the pavement. "Ack! My bow!"

"Right on target," Green Heart smirked in triumph. "It's over, Rayna. You can't fight without your weapon... now kindly heal my bodyguard, and I will allow you to return to your master with word of your failure..."

The Cleric bowed her head at this, apparently in resignation... but then she began to chuckle. "I can't fight, you say? You fool..." She picked her head up, her eternally-closed eyes suddenly opening, revealing bright red irises and near pinprick-sized pupils! "The real fight hasn't even started yet!" With that, her sweater and skirt suddenly shredded, revealing a skimpy red one-piece swimsuit as large black-feathered wings erupted from her back! The shredded clothing then reformed into spiked shoulder pauldrons and long red leather gloves secured with belts, while her long socks and sneakers reformed into matching tight-fitting leather boots. "Ah, that's much better... How long has it been since I've really cut loose?"

"Y-you..." Green Heart looked incredulously at her foe's new look. "You're a fallen angel?!"

"Bingo," Rayna grinned, before materializing an energy lance in her hand, which she promptly hurled at the CPU, who barely dodged it! "Now do you see why Etna chose me?!"

"So you never needed your bow, did you? It was just a prop all along!" Vert realized as she held her spear in a defensive stance.

"Well done, Goddess, that's quite a grasp of the obvious you've got there," the brunette taunted. "Now let's RUMBLE!" She charged forward, her energy lance clashing with Green Heart's spear, pushing the CPU back a few feet... But Green Heart broke away and took to the air, Rayna flapping her wings and taking flight herself, hurling another energy lance which the CPU dodged, only to get hit by a follow-up kick! "C'mon, is that all you got?!"

Green Heart's response was to let herself fall a short distance, before intoning, "Sylhet Spear!" A massive spear hit the fallen angel dead-on, but due to her position in the sky, it did not impale her through, but sent her flying away with a large wound in her stomach!

"D-Dammit!" Rayna grunted in pain as she flapped her wings to try and regain control. "Giga Heal!" she then cried, the wound in her stomach rapidly closing, though it still felt tender. (Damn it, I can't use any healing spells above Giga, because they require summoning deities, and I dunno if I can call on them here!) She then glimpsed something in the sky, looking up to see several In-between Spear projectiles bearing down on her! Thinking quickly, the Cleric threw her lance at the largest projectile, the resulting explosion neutralizing it and sending quite a few others off course. However, a few of them still found their mark, forcing Rayna to cast another Giga Heal to restore her HP.

But then, Green Heart's actual spear came out of nowhere and took a slice out of Rayna's left wing, causing the brunette to spiral out of control and crash to the ground, several black feathers falling around her. Gritting her teeth, the fallen angel pushed herself up on her forearms...

Only for Vert herself to fly in, hitting Rayna in the chin with a rising kick, snapping her upright, then elbowing her in the left breast, following that up with a knee to the groin! Her opponent collapsed to her knees, one hand nursing her injured breast. "Y-you bitch...!"

"Well, your kind doesn't fight fair, so why should I?" Green Heart asked as she recalled her spear to her hand. "Now would you kindly give up before-" She was cut off as Rayna conjured an energy lance and attempted to impale her, forcing the CPU dodge to the side and back off. "So be it. Purpurascens Burst!" Vert thrust several times with her spear, only for Rayna to dodge every strike, before she retaliated with her own thrust-

-but it was deflected by Green Heart twirling her spear, the brunette realizing too late that she'd been played, as her opponent's final thrust pierced her still-tender stomach! Rayna doubled over in pain, but suddenly grabbed the spear and ripped it out of the CPU's hands, hurling it away! She then jumped backward and hurled her energy lance at Vert's feet, forcing the goddess to backflip away from the resulting explosion! (Okay, think it might be time to cut my losses and run...) Using another Giga Heal to take herself out of critical, she prepared to call for the Dimensional Gatekeeper-

-only to get grabbed from behind and flipped backward! "OH SHIIIII-!" *CRUNCH!*

The angel's legs stuck up comically in the air for a moment, before she collapsed unconscious, Peashy falling on her back as well. "Gotcha, bitch. Owww..." the bodyguard grinned through the pain, one hand over her stomach wound.

"Peach!" Green Heart cried in surprise. "What were you thinking?! You shouldn't be moving around in your condition!"

"Saw the chance... and took it..." Peach shrugged. "Help me... get my armor off..." The goddess promptly complied, beginning with removing the arms as sirens were heard in the distance...

*Some time later...*

Peashy awakened to see the ceiling of a hospital room, becoming aware that her stomach had been bandaged. Looking to her right, she saw Lisa sitting in a chair nearby with her arms crossed, seemingly asleep. "Mom...?"

The elder blonde roused at being called, yawned and rubbing her eyes before focusing on her daughter. "You know, this is starting to become a troublesome habit, Peach. Just be thankful that Lady Vert stuck up for you this time..."

"Sorry, Mom," Peach bowed her head. "That'll teach me to let my guard down around strangers..." Picking her head up again, she asked, "So what happened to that bi- *ahem* to the woman who skewered me?"

"Language, young lady. But to answer your question, they captured her and brought her to the Basilicom under restraint. I believe Lady Vert and Nicole are going to interrogate her once she wakes up... In the meantime, you need to stay put. This isn't a mere cut to the shoulder you got this time..."

"I know, I know..." Peashy sighed as she laid back. "Could you at least go get my Lowee-DS from my apartment, so I have something to do other than stare at the ceiling?" The blonde blinked in surprise as her mother promptly laid said portable gaming device in her lap. "Oh, uh, thanks..."

"A mother always knows," Lisa smirked.

*To be continued...*