The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 72

by Derald Snyder

*The next afternoon...*

"Well, that's the end of our patrol for today," Adrian said as he parked his Jeep in the Basilicom's parking lot. "Good thing nothing happened today, since we were down two members..."

"I wonder what MAGES. wanted A-Mac for anyway?" Peach grunted as she and Nisa unbuckled and got out. Chika had also stayed behind, to catch up on official Oracle work.

"Probably has something to do with that el quicko armor thingy that Arthur wanted," Nicole pointed out. "MAGES. probably wanted a live subject to test it on..."

"Well, let's just hope that A-Mac didn't permanently fuse with his armor or something..." the blonde muttered as she and the others walked inside to give their report to Vert...

*Inside the Basilicom...*

"Oh wow, it worked!" A-Mac cheered in delight. "How are you feeling, Miss Chika?"

"D-don't call me 'miss', please. It makes me feel old," Chika moaned even as she checked over her armor to make sure everything was in place. "Well, it seems to have worked."

"And on the first try, to boot! Another triumph for the Mad Magician! Fuahahaha!" MAGES. proclaimed.

"Well, she's laughing, so that's a good sign, right?" Peach spoke as she, Nisa and Adrian entered the room. "Oh, Chika, what are you doing in your armor?"

"That's simple," MAGES. answered in Chika's stead. "Seeing as the first test with your half-brother went so well, I decided to recalibrate the device for the Oracle's armor suit. And as you can see, it was a complete success!"

"So how does it work?" Adrian inquired.

"Arthur, if you would please," the bluenette requested, the young man nodding and taking his device in hand. "First, you must hold the device out in front of you, with your arms fully extended, like so." A-Mac promptly took the pose MAGES. described. "Next, you must clearly recite the command-code phrase to activate the device. But I must stress, you need to stay perfectly still until the process is complete. This is very important, so must make sure you won't be interrupted during the sequence. Go ahead, Arthur."

"Armor on!" A-Mac called out, the device flashing and covering the young man with a holographic overlay, his armor then quickly materializing from the gauntlets down to his boots, the entire sequence only lasting 2-3 seconds.

"Whoa!" Adrian and Peach gasped in awe.

"Sweeeeet," Nisa grinned. "Just like a real Hero of Justice!"

"Th-thanks, Nicole," Yellow Tiger put a hand behind his head.

"Now then, I have attached a magnet to the back of the device, so that you can place it on your waist and fight without worry," the Mad Magician continued. "Once you are finished with your armor, you take the device and hold in the two buttons at the top corners, for at least two seconds. This will revert the armor to data form, so you may go about your normal business."

"Like this?" Chika said as she held in the buttons on the device, her Black Raven armor promptly de-materializing. "Ah! Good, that makes things much more convenient for me."

"Me too," A-Mac said as he also reverted his transformation. "Anyway, I've decided we'll call these things 'Armor Morphers'. I think it'd work better than the complicated name she chose," he pointed a thumb at MAGES.

"Good idea," Peach nodded. "I hate complicated names..."

"Hmph. I thought my moniker worked just fine, but seeing as it was Arthur himself who made the request, I'll hold my tongue," MAGES. muttered.

"Could you program these morphers to activate when we say 'It's Armor Time!', followed by our code names?" Nicole requested.

"No trouble at all," the other bluenette nodded. "Now then, I have a personal favor to ask. As you know, my older cousin 5pb. is a famous songstress and electric guitar player. However, her career has been... cratering as of late, and it has left her significantly depressed. Might I ask you to go to her place and comfort her, and perhaps figure out what is causing her current slump?"

The five looked at each other briefly. "...We'll see what we can do," Nisa stated. "You guys have anything going on tomorrow?"

"I still have paperwork to catch up on, sadly," Chika lamented.

"I'm free tomorrow," Peach said.

"So am I," Adrian concurred.

"I can come along, sure," A-Mac nodded. "It'd be nice to meet a famous singer in person..."

"It's settled then," MAGES. said with a smile. "Oh, one more thing... Peach, I need to borrow your armor so I can properly calibrate your... 'Armor Morpher'. Your armor suit is quite unique compared to the others, after all..."

"Not really," Adrian said under his breath. "You see that kind of armor being worn all the time by the Leanbox Marine Corps... It's specially designed to not short circuit from prolonged exposure to water."

"Wait, you bummed that armor from the Marines?! You never told me that!" Peach turned to her fiancee, incredulous.

"You never asked," the soldier shrugged. "The guy I took it from was on the cusp of retirement anyway, so no harm, no foul."

"...I guess," Peashy sighed, rubbing her temples in a manner not unlike her mother's. "Anyway, that armor means a lot to me, so please don't disintegrate it or something by accident, okay, MAGES.?"

"Have some faith, would you?" the Mad Magician sighed. "If anyone's armor was going to disintegrate, it would have been Arthur's. But I have the process down pat now, so never fear, Peach C. Macintosh! Fuahahaha!"

"Well, alright..." the blonde sighed as she began to reluctantly remove her armor...

*5pb.'s Studio, the next day*

After parking their vehicles, Peashy, Adrian, A-Mac and Nisa walked over to the entrance, only for the four to see a familiar face walking from the opposite direction! "Nepgear...?" Nisa ventured.

"Huh? That voice... Goodness! Nisa, is that you?!" The two ran to each other, embracing firmly. "Oh wow... it's so good to finally see you again!"

"Likewise!" Nicole's voice hitched slightly as they separated. "You been doing good? ...I mean, other then your giant robot getting trashed..."

"Well, I kind of went through a rough patch where I was treated like a butt-monkey by everyone for a while..." Nepgear began, "But, that was in another dimension, and once I got back home, things got a little better for me... But what about you? Being sent to the bowels of hell couldn't have been good for you..."

"It wasn't quite that bad..." Nisa chuckled with a hand behind her head. "Most of the demons I ran into were more mischievous than truly evil... Even the overlords were more superficially evil than anything..."

"Anyway, aren't we here to meet with 5pb.?" Adrian cut in.

"Oh, right," Nepgear realized. "Let's hope we can cheer her up..."

So the group of five entered the studio together, seeing 5pb. absent-mindedly strumming at an unplugged electric guitar, a Japanese-looking man sitting along with her, looking similarly despondent. She quickly perked up, however, upon looking up and seeing two of her old friends. "Oh, hello Nepgear... and Nisa, too?"

"Hey, 5pb.. Long time no see," Nicole waved. "Allow me to introduce you to my boyfriend, Arthur DeRommer."

"Hello, I'm A-Mac!" said boyfriend nodded. "Nice to meet you, ma'am..."

"And I'm A-Mac's sister, Peach Macintosh," Peashy also introduce herself. "And this is my fiancee, Adrian Johns."

"Ma'am," Adrian bowed lightly.

"O-oh, well, it's nice to meet you all," 5pb. stammered. "I-I assume you're the people that my cousin MAGES. are helping with fighting the forces of hell?"

"Still kinda shy when you're not on stage, huh?" Nisa noted.

"A little bit," Nepgear noted. "But yeah, when that Demon Lord attacked me, Uni, Rom and Ram, it was Nisa and Chika who ended up saving us. Oh, and I guess Miss Peach helped too..."

"For the last time, stop calling me 'Miss'," Peach groaned, rubbing her temples again. "Just because I'm 30 now doesn't mean I'm an old maid, sheesh!"

"S-sorry," Nepgear sweat-dropped. "But seeing as you're Vert's bodyguard, I guess I just feel the need to be polite..."

*Nepgear has gained the 'Overly Polite' affinity!*

"Goodness, what?!" the CPU Candidate briefly made a Nepgya-face.

"Hey! No fourth wall breaking on my watch!" Peashy growled as she grabbed and tore the dialogue box to shreds.

*Peach has gained the 'Fourth Wall Enforcer' affinity!*

"STOP IT!" the bodyguard yelled as she tore the new affinity to pieces as well. "Geez, is this what you meant by being a butt-monkey in the past?!"

"Th-that was part of it," Nepgear chuckled nervously.

"B-but why would the fourth wall treat you so cruelly?" 5pb. wondered, her eyes showing wavelengths.

"Who cares? It's in the past!" Peashy insisted. "What we should be focusing is why life is giving you the butt-monkey treatment!"

"Peach, stand down," Adrian put a firm hand on his fiancee's shoulder. "That's an order." At this, Peach closed her eyes and counted to ten, crossing her arms behind her back.

"Regardless, she does have a point," Nisa spoke up. "Why is it your career's been slumping as of late?"

"...There's a new singer on the scene," the diva stated. "She's really popular with the boys, and even some girls like her work."

"I came at bad time," the Japanese man abruptly spoke up in broken English. "I am singer who is... 'down-on-his-luck', as you say it. I think I could get boost up in career by teaming with famous 5pb., but she is down-on-luck too! We are failures, both of us! Woe is me, er, us, as you say!"

"I-I'm sorry, Mr. Endoh," 5pb. shook her head. "I would've been more than happy to perform a singing duet with you, or something..."

"You know, if my sister was here, I know exactly what she would say..." Nepgear then cleared her throat, before going into an impression of Neptune: "A new singer who got really popular really fast... I'll bet ya two cups of pudding that this is one of those 'evil singer uses hypnotic music to control the masses' plots, and we're going to have to kick her butt to snap everyone back to normal so 5pb. is popular again..."

"Hmmm... 7.5/10," Peach mused. "That does sound like what Neptuna would say, but..."

"Your pitch wasn't quite high enough, Nepgear," 5pb. critiqued.

"Oh well, at least I tried," the lilac-haired goddess shrugged.

"That being said," the singer continued, "I don't think that new girl is brainwashing the audience... I've listened to some of her work, and it's actually pretty good."

"You sure that's not the brainwashing talking?" A-Mac snarked, only to get lightly slapped upside the head by Peach.

"I see concert of new singer once," Mr. Endoh spoke again. "I think there is no brainwashing, they really like her..."

"So what's this new singer's name?" Adrian inquired.

"U-ummm..." 5pb. closed her eyes in thought. "Lanza... something..."

"Lanzarote?!" Nisa gasped in shock.

"Wait, you know her?" A-Mac turned to his girlfriend, only for his heart to drop into the pit of his stomach at seeing the haunted look in her eyes. "Oh no, don't tell me..."

"Yes, I'm afraid it's true, Arthur," the Hero of Justice nodded. "Lanzarote is indeed a famous idol singer... from the netherworld!" A drama chord played in the background.

"WHAT?!" everyone else chorused.

"Y-you mean she's trying to lure everyone down the road to hell?!" 5pb. gasped.

"But! She no looks like evil demon!" Mr. Endoh insisted.

"She's an Archer-class demon," Nicole explained. "Cute face, washboard chest, and her hair is styled into huge, curly twin-tails..."

"That's her, all right," 5pb. confirmed.

"So there's nothing about her outward appearance that even suggests she's evil," Adrian summarized.

"And if we try to just charge in and take her out, we'll probably get mobbed and lynched by her rabid fan base!" Arthur added.

"So what will we do?" Nepgear fretted.

"Simple, we do what Rei Ryghts would do," said Peach. "Er, Rei Ryghts the lawyer, not the psycho goddess," she quickly corrected herself.

"Oh!" Nepgear gasped in comprehension. "You mean, go undercover and look for decisive evidence that she's evil?"

"Exactly! We'll attend one of her concerts, and one of us'll sneak backstage and try to find proof that she's a netherworld demon!"

"Well, that rules out Nicole," Adrian stated. "We can't take the risk that Lanzarote might recognize her..."

"...I admit I had a mild rapport with her, mostly because of our shared lack of... assets," Nisa admitted. "But hey, I'll just stay at the Basilicom, and if crud hits the fan, MAGES. can warp me there in no time!"

"So, it'll be me, Peach, and Adrian, then?" A-Mac guessed.

"Yep," the petty officer nodded. "So do you know when her next concert is, 5pb.?"

"I think it's in two days, right here in Leanbox City," the idol replied. "But I don't know how you'll get tickets..."

"Yeah, it's probably all sold out now, huh?" Peach deadpanned.

"Peashy," Adrian interrupted, "have you forgotten who your superior is...?"

"My superior...? Ahh! Of course! Lady Vert might be able to pull some strings! Geez, why didn't I think of that sooner?!" the blonde groaned as she pulled out her myPhone.

"Well, how about we exchange phone numbers, just in case?" Nepgear suggested. "If you get in over your heads, you could give me a call and I'll come to help!"

"Not a bad idea," Nisa nodded. "I need your number again anyway, since I lost my old phone during my netherworld travels..."

"W-well, I wish you all good luck," 5pb. encouraged.

*To be continued...*