Disclaimer: see part 1
Touch'
By Random1377
Part 3 – Pressure
Rei carefully made her way through the city, keeping her attention divided between the giant sphere floating lazily through the warm afternoon sky and the readout on her main screen, informing her that the rifle cradled in her Unit's enormous arms was now fully charged and ready to fire at any time. She paused behind a tall skyscraper, bracing herself for combat should the need arise, and watching as the sphere – designated as the twelfth angel – slowed from four miles an hour to three.
In the recesses of her mind, shoved far below the surface, the fact that she was mad grew slowly, almost inexorably more palpable. Anger was not a new emotion for the First Child, but she had long ago learned to conceal it along with her other emotions so that it would not get in the way of performing her duties… but today, she was finding this very difficult.
At that very moment, she was mad at the pilot of Evangelion Unit 02.
Her mouth twisted downward at the corners as she recalled the girl's taunting words – the ones that had goaded Shinji into taking the point position. I do not believe that I like her… Rei thought absently, keeping Unit 01 in sight as the angel continued on its way, maintaining its unhurried pace. It would not have been as bad, she supposed, had the angel not appeared as they were climbing out of the test plugs, with the results of the experiment clearly visible to everyone.
For some reason, Shinji's score seemed to infuriate the Second Child, causing her brow to draw down in most unpleasant frown… but for the life of her, Rei could not understand why Shinji had risen to the bait and agreed to take the lead position so easily.
Perhaps it is because of our relationship, Rei mused, peering around the edge of the building for a better look at the angel. Such as it is…
It had been mere hours since Shinji had walked away from her, but somehow it felt like an eternity. To know that you will never be touched again by the one that means the most to you is a hard thing to take, but Rei – having a lifetime's worth of practice – tried to push her hurt and shame into the darkest corner of her soul and lock it there.
"I must let it go," she told herself, her voice sounding hesitant even to herself. "If he will not love me… it is out of my hands."
She glanced at Unit 01 out of the corner of her eye, carefully edging her own mecha in the direction of Shinji's.
The Major's battle plan had been simple – back each other up, and arrange a three-way crossfire scenario wherein all of the EVAs would attack simultaneously… yet for the first time that she could remember, Rei had disobeyed an order. In her defense – and in her mind – she had not outright disobeyed; she had simply… modified the order.
We were directed to form a triangle, she told herself, maneuvering closer to Shinji, but it was not specified that it must be equilateral, and while he may not love me… I cannot help how I feel for him, so I will defen-
"Asuka, Ayanami… are you in position yet?" Shinji's voice cut into her thoughts, making her heart clench in spite of her resolve.
"Not yet," she answered softly, choosing a building within sight of the one he was currently behind to brace her EVA against and bringing the rifle to bear.
"You know an EVA can't move that fast, you twit!" Asuka's angry reply came back, causing Rei's frown to deepen slightly.
If it must be from afar, Rei told herself, drawing in a deep, calming breath, then so be it. Even though you do not share my feelings, I cannot simply pretend that I no longer love you… so if I cannot be at your side, I will content myself with-
Her thoughts were again interrupted as Shinji's Unit abruptly leaned out from behind the building it was using for cover and fired three quick shots into the sphere overhead. Rei's surprise turned to terror, though, as the sphere vanished the instant the first round from Unit 01's handgun hit it and a huge, ominous shadow appeared under the purple behemoth.
"What the… a shadow??" Shinji's voice sounded confused as his mecha shuddered… and slowly began sinking into the shadow underneath him.
"Pattern Blue!" someone's voice rang over the tac-net. "Directly under Unit 01 – MAGI confirm one-hundred percent probability. It IS an angel!"
Rei's hands shook on the controls of her Unit. "Shinji," she breathed, her carefully constructed shield of indifference and passive acceptance burning down like so much rice paper as Shinji's panicked screams reached her ears. She hesitated, frozen with fear as her repressed emotions broke free and forced her into action. The rifle fell from Unit 00's hands, discharging once and destroying a row of apartment buildings with a dull boom.
Ignoring the damage, Rei jammed up on the control yokes, willing her EVA forward as fast as it would move. Go, she thought grimly, do not think – just go!
In the command room, Maya Ibuki blinked, biting her bottom lip as her monitor reported unusual activity from Unit 00. "Sempai?" she called hesitantly, waiting for her superior to glance her way. "Rei's sync ratio just spiked eight points. I think… I think she's going after him, ma'am."
Ritsuko nodded. "Keep monitoring," she said coolly, pursing her lips as she looked back to the main screen. So that's all the pressure it takes, is it? she mused. Interesting.
At her side, Misato was desperately trying to take every aspect of the fight into account. "Damn it," she muttered, "damn it, damn it, damn it! Why can't anyone stick to a plan?!" She drew a deep breath. "Asuka! Back Unit 00's move! Get Shinji out of there, now!"
The Second Child did not take the time to acknowledge her order – she was too busy running. "What good is doing well on tests if you can't apply it in real life?" she hissed, hunching forward in her pilot's chair and narrowing her eyes to mere slits. "You really piss me off sometimes, Third Child…"
Rei approached the shadow at a dead run, drawing in a sharp breath as Unit 01's hands sank below the surface. Do not let me fail, she prayed silently, bracing herself mentally to execute her half-formed plan. As she neared the edge of the shadow she willed Unit 00 to reach backwards and grabbed the umbilical cable, wrapping it around the machine's mammoth wrist. She then flung the blue mecha forward with its free arm outstretched and grabbed Unit 01's upper arm just as it sank into the inky blackness slowly consuming it.
Struggling against the pull, Rei worked her EVA's arm through Unit 01's until they were arm in arm. "Ikari!" she gasped, opening a broadband communications channel, "Hang on… hang on to me!"
Shinji's voice came back, sounding scared. "Rei! I can't… I can't make it move! Don't let me go! God, DON'T LET ME GO!!"
The purple EVA was up to its neck when Rei realized that her cable was still giving slack. "Major," she called hurriedly, all trace of calm now gone from her voice as the fear of losing the one she loved overtook her. "Retract my umbilical cable!"
Less than a second later, the cable began to spool back in, snapping taut as it fought the angel's pull, slicing a building between the cable housing and Unit 00 neatly in half and sending it to the ground with a tremendous crash.
Come on, Rei thought, gritting her teeth as Unit 00's servos whined, struggling to compensate for the strain being applied to them. It must not end this way… I still have so much I wish to say, Shinji… do not leave me yet, I-
"No!!"
Unit 00 gave a sickening lurch as its umbilical cable snapped in two, unable to compete with the inexorable force exerted by the Angel's shadow, and before she could blink, the darkness expanded, drawing Unit 00's legs effortlessly into it.
Unit 01 was now up to its chin and still sinking, and Unit 00 was almost as deep, the cold of the shadow sending shivers up and down Rei's spine. She knew time was short, but she still could not make herself say 'I love you' no matter how hard she tried.
The pain of being pushed away was still too fresh.
"Ikari?" Rei's voice was once again calm, the knowledge that she must say something burning in her mind as the two machines inched deeper into the darkness. "I…" she hesitated, realizing she was still on a public channel, then pressed on, knowing she may never have another chance. "I won't let you go, Shinji," she whispered, hoping that somehow, he understood the meaning behind the words. "Just hold on to me."
Shinji's screams ceased abruptly as her words reached him. The reality of the situation – that they were most likely going to die within minutes – hit him hard, forcing him to decide right then and there just how much her origins really meant. "Rei…" he whispered, his voice hoarse and choked as tears rolled down his face and dispersed into the LCL. I'm sorry…
"Now that's sweet…" Asuka's voice came to them as the forward motion on Unit 00's umbilical was suddenly halted, sending shudders through both mecha.
Rei took a backward glance and was treated to the sight of Unit 02 lying prone on the ground, holding her umbilical cable in one hand and its ax in the other. The ax was buried deep in the reinforced street, acting as a makeshift anchor, and shivers of effort could be seen running up and down Unit 02's arm as it fought the angel's pull.
"Souryu…?" Rei's voice was barely above a whisper as she stared at her unexpected savior.
"Can't have you two dying on me now," Asuka said, struggling to sound nonchalant as her EVA reported the excessive strain to her senses, "not when Shinji's number one… I'd never live it down."
So saying, she wrapped the cable around the ax handle and slowly brought her EVA to its feet. Satisfied that the ax was holding, she planted one foot on it for more stability and began pulling on the cable, bracing Unit 02 on the street and willing it to pull as hard as it could. Nothing happened at first… then slowly, Unit 00 and Unit 01 began to inch towards the 'shore.'
"Always… saving… your… sorry asses…" Asuka panted, exerting her EVA and feeling its pain as she dragged the cable hand-over-hand. "I… should get… a medal… just for… putting up… with you two…"
God that was close, she thought, falling silent for a minute and blinking perspiration from her eyes. A few more seconds and he would have… she let the thought trail off, concentrating on her current task.
As the EVAs slowly slid closer, Asuka continued, finding it easier going now that there was some momentum to work with. "I mean… it's bad enough to have Shinji try to show me how it OUGHT to be done…" she sighed, "but then to have you get all touchy-feely – on the battlefield no less…" she trailed off for a second as they approached the edge of the shadow, and they could practically hear her scowling as she muttered, "I should just let go…"
Unit 00 reached the street, letting go of the cable and planting its hand on the concrete. With Unit 02's help, Rei levered the blue mecha up and unto the road, its other arm still linked with Unit 01. Together, they pulled the purple robot out.
The shadow immediately vanished, replaced once more by the floating sphere. The three EVAs moved to a safe distance as the sphere continued its crawling progress toward NERV headquarters.
Shinji struggled to catch his breath. "Asuka, I-"
"Save it 'til later, Third Child… I know you worship me…" Asuka smiled as she addressed the operations director, "We've got him Misato… what now?"
"Hold your positions, we're working on a plan…" Misato replied, "Ritsuko thinks she's found a weak spot." There was a brief hesitation. "Good work, Asuka."
The red EVA seemed to stand a little taller. "Well, I am the best," Asuka said happily.
She was surprised to hear Rei's voice come to her on a private link. "Pilot Souryu… I… thank you." Asuka was sure that she had never heard those words from Wondergirl before.
The effect was… unexpected. "You're… you're welcome," she said awkwardly. Unbidden, she thought of Rei and Shinji's hands, barely grazing each other in the back seat of Misato's car… and of the conversation she had overheard several days prior. "Idiot…" she whispered to herself, her smile fading slightly as she realized just how much pain he must be in. "Don't think I'm going to go any easier on you."
Somehow, though, she thought she might.
- - - - -
"That's it? That's the plan??"
Asuka did not know what else to say, as she felt the so-called 'plan' screamed idiot all by itself. Saying it out loud would be redundant, but considering the fact that everyone seemed quite serious about going through with this half-assed plot, she was sorely tempted to go ahead and point out the inherent stupidity in moving forward with it.
After all, if she did not, no one else would.
Misato, though, was not in the mood for arguing. "The MAGI give it a thirty-five percent chance of succeeding," she grumbled irritably, "which is the best we can do on such short notice. The angel moves slowly, but it hasn't stopped moving – we HAVE to act now… it's only fifteen minutes from our airspace."
Seeing that her argument was hitting a brick wall, Asuka blew out an exasperated breath. "Why do I have to be the one that does it?" she complained sullenly. "Shinji's got the highest sync ratio – you said so yourself!"
When Misato replied, her voice was so full of dry sarcasm that Asuka felt like strangling her. "Because you're the best pilot – test results mean nothing, right?"
The redhead groaned. Knew that would come back to bite me in the ass… she thought dejectedly. She cast a glance to her right, finding Shinji and Rei staring straight ahead with eerily similar, completely vacant expressions. Man, she thought, quickly looking away, it's like a set of his and her bookends – only creepier. When they stare like that, they look like twins.
"Alright," Misato said firmly, "You know the plan, you know your assignments – get moving, Children. And hey – if you're lucky, I'll even buy dinner again."
"You mean if we survive," Asuka muttered under her breath.
Twenty minutes later, the three mecha stood patiently awaiting the arrival of the giant sphere. Unit 02 stood at the point of a mathematically calculated triangle, flanked by Unit 01 on her left and Unit 00 on her right, each holding a type 2 positron rifle and positioned in such a way as to prevent them from being drawn into the angel's shadow, should it expand to its maximum theorized width.
Of course, this width was only a theory based on the previous battle, so everyone could end up dying anyway, but Asuka was doing her best not to think about that.
"So… what if this doesn't work?" she asked, proud that her voice sounded so nonchalant as she glanced from right to left, nervously eyeing the primed N2 mines Unit 02 held firmly – but delicately – in each hand.
Misato's voice was quiet as she switched to a private channel. "Did you ever fill out that will we discussed when the tenth angel was coming?"
Asuka's brow drew down. "THAT'S supposed to inspire confidence??" she sputtered, staring at the small image of the dark-haired woman, "You're some leader, Misato…"
Misato was unsmiling. "Asuka," she said softly, "I need to ensure that you are prepared for any eventuality. You know just as well as I do that this is a suicide mission – I won't sugarcoat it for you."
Asuka nodded slowly and sighed, "Yeah… I know… I just thought maybe you might at least try and give me a little bit of hope."
Misato blushed, averting her eyes. "You're… you're right," she murmured, "I'm sorry. Listen, Shinji and Rei will be disrupting the Angel's AT field, so it should be a matter of sinking in as far as you can and detonating the mines. As soon as the countdown reaches zero minus five, they'll start pulling you back in by your umbilical cable."
Asuka nodded. "Hey," she said suddenly.
"Hmm?"
"Who did Shinji leave his stuff to? Wondergirl?"
Misato hesitated. "Actually… no," she said slowly. "You."
"What?" Asuka blurted. "Me? Why??"
"I have no idea," Misato admitted, "but as his guardian, I had to know how it read… and all it said was 'I hereby leave all of my worldly belongings to Asuka Langley Souryu.' That's it. No explanation, no poetry, just that."
Asuka sat back in her seat, her hands idly running over the control yokes as she considered this bit of information. "Why…?"
Misato shook her head. "I really don't…" she trailed off. "We'll talk about it later. It's time."
- - - - -
Ritsuko checked her watch for what felt like the fiftieth time, absently chewing the end of her pen as the second hand slowly ticked around the Seiko's face. "Forty more seconds," she muttered under her breath, looking back up to the screen, where all cameras were pointed at the black stain spread across nearly a half mile of the city.
Things had seemed to be going perfectly according to plan at first. Unit 02 had arranged itself directly under the angel, waiting patiently as Shinji and Rei fired their rifles, standing at a safe distance to ensure that neither of them would be caught in the trap. The angel, as predicted, had revealed its true form, drawing Unit 02 slowly into itself and leaving not so much as a ripple to mark its passing. The stage was set. Any time now, Ritsuko told herself, Asuka would be bringing Unit 02 back up out of the shadow and telling them that the thing was dead.
Only… Asuka's five minutes were almost up, and since her cable had stopped feeding into the angel, there had been no sign of her.
"Reel her in," Misato said suddenly.
"She's got fifteen seconds," Ritsuko pointed out halfheartedly, "She could still be trying to find the core."
Misato shook her head. "I don't care," she muttered, "pull her back… something's wrong."
Ritsuko glanced over her shoulder, looking to the commander for approval. When he nodded, she turned back to face the main screen, calling, "Shinji, retrieve Unit 02."
"Yes ma'am!"
The relief in the boy's voice was almost palpable, and as Unit 01 jogged to where Unit 02's cable was protruding from the edge of the angel's shadow, Ritsuko felt a twinge of foreboding. It will be fine, she told herself, risking another look at Gendou as Shinji began pulling, Misato's just being skittish – all of our sensors show that Unit 02 is perfectly fine and… her thought trailed off, a cold feeling settling into the pit of her stomach as her eyes lighted on the pilot's health sign readouts.
"Lieutenant," she murmured, sparing a glance at the monitor, "Have Asuka's vitals changed at all?"
"Mmm, no ma'am," Maya shook her head, keeping her attention on the screen and trying not to whisper, 'come on, come on,' under her breath. "Her heart rate has been constant, and her alpha waves have been within normal tolerances the whole time." She frowned slightly. "Why?"
Ritusko felt sick. "God I'm so stupid…"
"Huh?"
"Misato!" Shinji cried. "It's… the cable's been cut!!"
"Damn it, DAMN IT!" Misato shouted, licking her lips nervously as she turned to Ritsuko. "Talk to me – what are our options?"
But Ritsuko was shaking her head. "It got us," she whispered, sounding shocked, "look at Asuka's stats… they're still reading that she's a-ok – but her heart rate hasn't changed even one beat since she entered the angel. There should at least be a fluctuation or a little jump here and there when she's excited or scared, but it's been steady the whole time… but no one thought to check because it was reading as normal and we all thought the fight was the most important thing."
"You're saying it… it TRICKED us?!" Misato exploded. "We're being duped by a puddle of-"
"Major!!"
Ritsuko glanced up at the monitor as Maya cried out, her eyes going wide at what she saw. "Oh… no…"
"Shinji!" Misato screamed, shaking her head in denial as Unit 01 took another step forward, "What are you doing? What the HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"
"Unit 01 is approaching the target," Maya reported breathlessly, "Unit 00 is following."
Misato was beside herself with panic. "Damn it, stand fast!" she demanded, watching in horror as Unit 00 took up position at 01's side. "We'll come up with something – don't you dare take another step!!"
The intent was clear. Everyone on the command deck knew what the two EVAs were planning… but no one could lift a finger to stop them, all they could do was watch as the two mecha carefully un-slung their rifles and laid them down on the perimeter of the angel.
"Ayanami," Shinji's voice came over the tac-net, "You… you don't have to do this…"
Unit 00 stepped past 01, standing at the very edge of the angel's shadow as Rei replied, "I understand. However, I will be accompanying you."
"Alright…"
"Stop!" Misato said desperately, "I'm ordering you both to stop!!"
There was a moment of silence, broken when Shinji softly replied, "We're getting her back, Misato… she would do the same for us and you know it."
"No!" Misato's said firmly. "I understand how you feel, Shinji, but I can't afford to lose all of you… stop now. Damn it, that's an ORDER! Don't make me come out there myself and YANK you out of that damn EVA!"
"Unit 01 has ejected external power," Maya reported.
Ritsuko shook her head as Unit 00 followed 01's lead. "They've cut off external communications," she said quietly. "We could send the signal to eject the plug… but where they're located, the EVAs might fall into the shadow."
Misato clenched her teeth, a vein in her temple throbbing with anger as she hissed, "I am going to kick his ass when he gets back."
"Sure," Ritsuko murmured, "you're an ideal guardian."
"Shut up."
Everyone watched in tense silence as Unit 01 and 00 stepped forward, offering no resistance as the angel drew them rapidly into itself. Ritsuko watched the two teens' vital signs closely, paying careful attention to their heart rates as the two mecha vanished into the shadow and jotting a most unusual bit of information on a small notepad by Maya's desk before bringing her eyes back up to the main screen.
Interesting…
"What odds do you give them?"
Ritsuko turned her head to the side. "Hmm?"
"Their odds," Misato whispered, her eyes glued to the giant display in the middle of the command center. "Without checking with the MAGI… honestly… what do you think the chances of them all coming back are?"
Ritsuko sighed, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "You want a technical answer?"
Misato shook her head. "No," she said flatly, "your gut feeling."
Another moment passed in silence, with everyone in the command center waiting for the reply.
"Bad," Ritsuko said finally, "very… very bad."
"I see."
Misato drew a deep, calming breath, trying not to blink too much as she tried desperately to think of a way to bring the Children home. Damn… she thought, replaying her last conversation with Asuka in her mind. She knew she wouldn't be coming back… and I couldn't even PRETEND to hope.
"Quite the turn of events," Ritsuko whispered, wiping a drop of sweat from her upper lip. "The old men won't be happy if this fails." She turned to Maya. "How long have they been inside?"
Maya consulted her terminal. "Asuka has been down for twelve minutes," she said softly, "Shinji and Rei have been down for six."
"Ok," Misato murmured, "so if they're smart and went to life-support only, they should be alright for-"
"That's a pretty big if," Ritsuko cut in quietly, "And… there's something else that's been bothering me…"
Misato's expression darkened. "You mean it gets WORSE?!"
"Well, not necessarily," Ritsuko said quickly, glad to have something to talk about to break up the tension of waiting, "remember what I told you about the Sea of Dirac?"
"Umm, I remember some mumbo-jumbo about abstract mathematics," Misato admitted. "I didn't really follow it, though. Sorry."
Ritsuko shrugged. "That's just it," she said, "even I don't understand all of the particulars… but I've been thinking that – if it really IS like a pocket dimension – there's a very good chance that ti-"
She was cut off as Maya's disbelieving cry rang out. "Reaction from the target! It's… it's cracking, ma'am…!"
All eyes went to the monitor as the shadow began to break up – jagged, red lines running the length of its surface as if intense pressure was being applied to the very center of the circle. Everyone flinched as a sharp snapping sound filled the air, echoing throughout Tokyo-3 like a firecracker dropped into an ashcan.
"Energy readings are going crazy," Maya shouted over the din, "MAGI report 88 probability of AT field resonance deton-"
In the span of a heartbeat, the sphere in the sky – the angel's true shadow, as Ritsuko put it – turned the same dead black as the ground underneath it, quivering in midair for a moment… then exploding with all the force of a meteorite slamming into the Earth.
"Look at that!"
Everyone watched in mute wonder as the three Evangelions – their armor plates covered from head to toe in deep red – appeared from the wreckage of the sphere, gruesomely clawing their way to the edge before spilling out and onto the shattered remains of the shadow.
"All… all three units… and the angel are silent, ma'am," Hyouga reported hesitantly.
"Get me communications, now!" Misato yelled, "Asuka, Rei, Shinji, are you alright?? What happened??"
There was a brief pause, and then Shinji's voice came back to her, sounding unsure. "I'm umm… not really sure," he admitted. "We went in with our AT fields up, and we couldn't see anything besides each other… then after a few minutes we saw Unit 02, but she couldn't hear us, and then our fields touched hers, and… well… everything blew up…"
"How long did it take you to reach her?" Ritsuko asked suddenly.
This time the pause was much longer. "I don't know," Shinji said finally, "my chronometer froze as soon as we got all the way inside. Felt like a long time, though…"
"So what happened?" Misato demanded, rounding on the Project-E department head. "You keep asking all these questions about time – you know something, don't you?"
"I don't KNOW anything," Ritsuko said levelly, "I… have a theory or two about some of the aspects of this encounter, but they're really not relevant right now." She looked up at the screen, nodding as Maya asked if she should give the retrieval crew the green-light to bring the Children home. "But as for how the angel was killed, well… I'd say that was mostly Asuka's doing."
Misato blinked. "Come again?"
Ritsuko shook her head, looking up at the still form of Unit 02 as a retrieval team picked their way carefully through the remains of the shadow. "Imagine it," she mused, her eyes growing hazy as she pictured the situation. "Trapped inside the angel, her mines gone without any indication that they had done anything, her EVA already low on power, her chronometer frozen at the exact moment she went in… and no sign that anyone is coming for her. She'd be frantic… terrified… lashing out in any way she could." Her eyes glittered as she turned to Misato, lowering her voice to a whisper.
"Can you imagine how strong her AT field must have been? Then along come Shinji and Rei – who are, well, having their own issues with keeping others away right now – their AT fields touch hers…" she snapped her fingers, making Misato jump. "I can only guess what the explosion must have been like from the inside. I'd say we're lucky they made it out in one piece."
Misato said nothing for a moment, trying to take in everything the other woman had said. "How long do you think they were gone?" she said finally.
Pursing her lips, Ritsuko murmured, "It's only a theory, Misato, time might be the same in there as out here for all I know… but when they went into the angel, Unit 00 and 01 sank in at the same speed, yet Rei's vitals continued to fluctuate for five seconds longer than Shinji's."
"So what does that mean…?"
Abruptly, Risuko shrugged. "No idea!" she said briskly, stuffing her hands into her pockets and turning for the door. "And since their chronometers all stopped, I'd say the only way to guess would be to burn them all down to ash and carbon-date them to see who was a few seconds or minutes older, and seeing as how that doesn't REALLY seem like a viable option, I'd surmise that we're just going to have to live in ignorance until the MAGI can chew on it for a month or two."
She glanced up, looking to Gendou and giving him a discrete, hopeful smile as Misato muttered something about getting the Children home. So? Ritsuko thought, trying to read her lover's expression behind his tinted lenses, Tonight…?
A stab of excitement shot through Ritsuko's stomach as Gendou glanced her way and gave her a minute nod of approval, understanding immediately what her arched eyebrow and tiny smile were asking.
"Drive safe tonight," Ritsuko advised, grinning from ear to ear as she anticipated what the evening would bring. "Weather report said it's gonna rain."
- - - - -
"Rei!"
The First Child looked up as someone called her name, finding Shinji pushing away from the wall opposite the door to the girl's locker room. "Hello Shinji," she said quietly, the adrenaline from the battle having long since dissipated, leaving her with a feeling of cold certainty.
"I… wanted to say thanks," Shinji said awkwardly, "for… for saving me."
"You are welcome," Rei replied, feeling a sense of unreality wash over her. Has he… forgotten what I am? she thought slowly, taking a step past him. No… it is only the fear of the battle spurring him on.
"I am… glad that you are safe," she said quietly, "goodbye."
Before she could take another step, Shinji reached out and pulled her into his arms, shaking all over as he whispered, "I'm sorry."
Rei bowed her head, slowly pulling out of his embrace. "I know," she said quietly, shaking her head from side to side, "but… you don't need to be." Turning away from his stunned expression, she told herself, I love you, Shinji, but you seem… incapable of loving me back, and I cannot keep hurting myself by being close to you when I know how much you despise me.
"I… don't…" Shinji fumbled for words, finding himself completely unprepared for this conversation. What did you expect? he chided himself cruelly, One fight, an apology, and she'd fall back into your arms? God, you don't even know what you want, do you??
As he struggled with these questions, Rei glanced back over her shoulder. "Goodbye Shinji," she murmured, looking as if there was more she wanted to say… but ultimately just turning away and walking off down the hall, never once looking back.
Shinji stared after her for a long, long time, noticing suddenly just how quiet and empty NERV seemed when no one was there with you. He looked around, his eyes running over the concrete and steel framework that made up the place, wondering just when things had gotten so cold. He brought his hands up, looking at his palms as they insisted on reminding him precisely how Rei's body had felt when trapped within their confines.
His ears echoed with the remembered sound of her voice, whispering his name as she fell asleep in his embrace, the two of them still damp with perspiration from their first attempt at adult intimacy.
Why is this so hard? he thought dimly, wetting his lips and trying to recall just how it had tasted when she kissed him. Why am I so STUPID?! I want her, but I shouldn't. I want to have her touching me, but it's sick. I need her so bad that I – DAMN IT!!
Shinji cried out in pain as his fist ricocheted off the concrete wall, dropping to his knees and cradling his throbbing hand in his lap. "Damn it…" he groaned, his eyes blurry with tears of agony – physical and emotional. "I just… want her – why can't that be OK?!"
He winced as he tried to flex his fist, feeling something in the back of his hand grinding against something else as the answer presented itself to his tired mind.
- - - - -
Thunder boomed outside of the small apartment, rattling the windows in their frames. All of the lights were out save the one in Asuka's room, giving the place a cold, unwelcome air. The redhead lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling as she listened to Hikari talking about some insipid topic or another. She couldn't have told you WHAT, exactly, the class rep was saying, but whatever it was, it could not compare with the things she would have had to say if the phone lines were not monitored.
She wouldn't understand anyway, Asuka told herself, slipping in a noncommittal, 'uh huh' as the girl paused for breath. How could she? She's never been sucked into a bottomless pit for four hours, has she? Ok, so… no one else has, besides Shinji and Wondergirl. She closed her eyes, smiling faintly as she recalled the conclusion to the fight.
She had stopped flailing after two minutes, immediately going to emergency power mode to conserve energy, but as she sat there, ticking off seconds in her head, she grew more and more certain that no one was coming for her. She remembered the feelings of helplessness and rage that slowly overtook her as seconds ticked into minutes and minutes agonizingly ticked into hours.
Tick, tick, tick… no one was coming for her. She was so sure of it that when she saw Unit 01 falling slowly towards her through the white nothing that defined the angel's insides, she almost did not believe it. 'Hallucination' she told herself firmly, 'going insane in here – why not just imagine Unit 00, too?'
And sure enough, the blue mecha appeared at 01's side.
They came for me, Asuka thought, shivering slightly as she told Hikari that she was just a little tired. They both… came for me…
She shivered harder as she recalled the burst of emotion that somehow communicated itself to her as Unit 01's AT field hit 02's. Fear, relief, sadness, and concern exploded in the Second Child's mind, vanishing almost as soon as they had been identified as the two mecha's AT fields reacted violently to one another, blasting them out of the angel's insides in less than a second.
After their retrieval, Asuka simply sat and stared at Shinji and Rei, watching the two of them avoid looking at each other as the jeep they were in trundled and bounced back to headquarters. No one spoke a word, but Asuka thought Shinji might have blushed when he looked up at her for a moment, quickly tearing his eyes away as he realized she was watching him.
But he came for me, she mused, even though he was ordered not to…
"…he came for me."
There was a long moment of silence before Asuka noticed that Hikari was not saying a word.
"Sorry," she muttered, "just thinking out loud. Hey, I'm gonna go to bed, alright? I've-"
"Asuka," Hikari cut in tentatively.
"Hmm?"
There was a long pause before Hikari whispered, "Am I your friend?"
Asuka rolled her eyes. Oh God, what now?? she thought angrily, I barely survive a slow, painful death by suffocation so I'm not in the mood to talk – and suddenly we're not friends anymore? What the hell?
"Yes, Hikari," she said, barely managing to keep her tone light, "we're friends."
She heard Hikari swallow. "Then… why don't you ever talk to me…?"
God… Asuka thought, disgusted, this is so melodramatic!
"I talk to you all the time – but you know I can't talk about NERV stuff!"
"I… yeah, I know that," Hikari said awkwardly, "but… you never talk to me about other stuff, either – we always talk about school, or clothes, or stuff I like… but you never tell me about what you like, or what makes you sad. I want to be your friend, Asuka – not just someone you hang out with… can't you let me…?"
For a brief moment, Asuka very nearly said, 'no,' and hung up. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she cast around for something to placate the girl, finally coming up with, "Shinji broke his hand."
Hikari was frowning – Asuka could tell by the tone in her voice. "Ikari… huh??"
"Broke his hand," Asuka repeated calmly, "after the fight today."
"AFTER the fight?" Hikari asked uncertainly, "What happened?"
Asuka slid off her bed, walking over to her window and parting the blinds with her fingertips to look down at the rain swept city. "He didn't say," she murmured, watching the rain beat relentlessly against the glass. "I was in the infirmary since Doctor Akagi wanted me to be examined – I can't tell you why, because it's classified and stuff – and Shinji came in holding his hand." She sighed, shaking her head as she let the blinds snap back into place. "He wouldn't tell the doctor either, but I heard the doctor telling his nurse that it was definitely self-inflicted."
Hikari considered this for a minute. "Why?" she asked finally. "Why do you think he would do that?" Before Asuka could reply, the class rep gasped, "Did Ayanami break up with him?"
"Bingo," Asuka said coolly, "Well, I don't know if they're broken up, but there's definitely something going on."
"So are you… going to go for it…?"
"Huh??"
Hikari made a small, embarrassed noise. "Oh, I didn't mean that!" she said quickly. "I just… you guys look good tog- you know what, never mind."
"Good idea," Asuka said softly, her brow drawing down as her nostrils flared.
"S-sorry," Hikari stammered, sounding as if she wished she had taken the opportunity to get off the phone when it had been offered.
Unfortunately, Asuka was now angry. "Just because you're all stupid over some guy doesn't mean that I am," she said, her tone brittle.
"I know, I know," Hikari said, frantically searching for a way out of the hole she had dug herself, "I just… you're my friend, I want you to be happy, so-"
"Happiness doesn't always revolve around whose face you're sucking," Asuka snapped, "and even if I WAS interested, I wouldn't just jump in with both feet like some idiotic-" She cut herself off. "I'm going to bed," she said carefully, "we ARE friends, Hikari, but right now… right now I think maybe we should stick to clothes."
Before the other girl could reply, Asuka pulled the phone away from her ear and stabbed the Off button with her fingertip.
Bitch…
Asuka leaned back, closing her eyes and resting the back of her head against the wall as she listened to the rain outside. She knew it was not her friend's fault that she had a hard day, and she knew that she did not deserve to have Asuka come down on her with both feet… but she also knew that Hikari's observations about how she and Shinji looked together had made her inexplicably uncomfortable, and even know she found that she was shifting from foot to foot and trying to avoid thinking about just WHY Shinji was asleep in his room with a cast around his right hand… and why, somewhere, there was a document that said that if he died, he wanted her to have everything that mattered to him.
"Damn it."
Bringing the phone back up, she hit redial, taking a deep breath as Hikari's phone rang four times before her voice mail kicked in.
"Hikari, hey… ummm… call me, ok…?"
Keeping her eyes closed, Asuka turned the phone off and hurled it away from herself as hard as she could, ignoring the sound of fragmenting plastic as the device slammed into the wall. She knew NERV would get her a replacement in the morning… just as she knew that Hikari would not be calling her back.
- - - - -
Ritsuko sighed contentedly, resting her head against Gendou's side and letting herself drift for a moment. Tonight had been especially good, she thought. It always was right after an angel. Gendou had immediately ushered her into his apartment and led her straight to the bedroom, murmuring that he had just ordered some takeout and given the driver instructions not to deliver for an hour.
Forty-five minutes later, Ritsuko found that his timing was impeccable.
There is NOTHING, she thought contentedly, like ending a stressful day with a little food and a little sex…
"Hmmm," she hummed, reminding herself that there was a very good chance there would be a repeat of this performance after they had eaten, "what did you get us?"
Gendou's flat reply of, "Italian," cooled her libido somewhat.
Ritsuko pushed herself up on one elbow, brushing a lock of sweat-slick hair off of her forehead. "Just Italian?" she teased softly, trying to draw him out of whatever dark ruminations were making his face so serious.
"Yes," Gendou replied bluntly, "I told them to send two of whatever the special was."
"O-oh," Ritsuko mumbled, deciding that further conversation would be pointless.
At least I'm here, she thought optimistically, that's something, right?
Gendou continued to stare at the ceiling, seemingly oblivious to her presence, and did not even stir when the doorbell chimed softly.
"That's probably the takeout," Ritsuko said, forcing levity into her voice as she slipped out of bed and pulled on the extra robe he kept stored in the closet for her. "I'll get it."
God this sucks, she thought, grabbing her purse and pulling out a few bills on her way to the front door, I hate it when he won't talk. He's such a baby sometimes – really… but I'm not stupid enough to actually s-
Her mind froze as she pulled the front door open and found Rei standing just outside. They stared at each other for over a minute – Ritsuko with one hand full of money, clutching the front of her borrowed robe closed and the other holding the door open, Rei, already soaked, growing wetter and wetter as the rain continued to pound the empty streets outside.
I look like a whore.
Ritsuko shivered at the errant thought, instinctively tightening her hold on the robe as Rei's piercing red eyes assessed her.
"This isn't what it looks like," she blurted finally. "We… had to go over the results of the fight, and… and it started raining, and Gen- the Commander said I could use his dryer, and he hadn't done any shopping, so we thought we'd order take… takeout…"
She trailed off blushing bright red as Rei continued staring at her.
Look surprised, damn you!! Ritsuko nearly shrieked, fighting the urge to slam the door in the girl's face.
After another minute of absolute silence, Rei whispered, "May I speak with the Commander?"
"Why are you here, Rei?"
Ritsuko jumped, letting out an involuntary scream as Gendou's voice boomed over her shoulder. "She-" cutting herself off as she realized she had no real idea of why the First Child was there, Ritsuko stepped aside, wondering suddenly if Rei would notice that hers and Gendou's robes matched.
Gendou stepped forward, towering over the sodden girl and staring down at her imperiously as he repeated, "Why are you here?"
Gazing up into her Commanders eyes almost unblinkingly, Rei whispered, "May I stay the night, sir?"
To her mingled horror and satisfaction, Ritsuko noticed a thin, cruel grin spread slowly over her lover's face. "Why, Rei?" he said coolly, "your apartment is perfectly acceptable."
Though Rei never broke eye contact, her voice grow softer – almost, but not quiet, displaying hints of shame or regret. "My apartment building was destroyed during the fight with the angel," she said quietly. "I do not have a place to stay right now."
Gendou arched an eyebrow, clearly enjoying his subordinate's discomfort. "The angel was nowhere near your residence, Rei… explain yourself."
Rei slowly lowered her gaze. "When my rifle discharged," she said softly, "the shell landed in my district." Her voice lowered still further, making Ritsuko strain to hear as the girl confessed, "My building was in the line of fire and sustained a direct hit."
"Doctor Akagi," Gendou murmured, making Ritsuko jump again, "what do you suppose the statistical odds are that a weapons misfire in the heat of battle would result in the destruction of the owner's place of residence?"
"Er, a million to one, I guess," Ritsuko stammered, "maybe more… probably more." She bit her lip, suddenly finding the First Child's discomfort rather unamusing. "I'd… have to have the MAGIs' input, but it's probably near impossible… sir."
An uncomfortable silence fell as the blue-haired girl considered how best to answer. Finally, she brought her eyes back up and replied, "It was not deliberate, Commander… and I do not have another place to go."
"No," Gendou said calmly, "I don't suppose you would, would you." With a curt nod, he stepped back into the apartment. "You know where the towels are, Rei," he murmured, "dry yourself and prepare the extra futon. I need to speak with Doctor Akagi alone."
"Yes sir," Rei whispered, stepping inside and heading straight towards the bathroom.
Ritsuko shivered, rubbing her upper arms as she watched the girl disappear into the other room.
"So cold."
She immediately dropped her eyes, flushing as Gendou shot her a narrow look. "Close the door, then," he said flatly, choosing to take her comment more literally than she'd meant it.
Ritsuko found the words 'yes sir,' on her lips and bit them back, refusing to echo the First Child in any way. "Alright."
Slowly, she swung the door closed, noticing belatedly that she was still clutching the money for the takeout in her hands. What was it mother used to say? she thought distantly, nodding as Gendou told her to come into the bedroom and get dressed. Oh that's right – 'you're only a whore if you do it for money.' Well mother, there are other words for what you were… she cast a glance at the bedroom door, mentally adding, and for what I've become.
Slipping the money into the pocket of the robe, she started towards the bedroom, supremely unhappy that she had been thinking of her mother again, and praying – with all her heart and soul – that Rei's stay would be brief.
Continued…
Author's notes: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I had a lot of momentum on chapters 1 and 2… but even though 3 got written pretty fast, it came out kind of a mess and took some tweaking and overhauling to get to a 'printable' state. Thanks for sticking with me.
Pre-read on this chapter was by Ryoma, Akodo-Tim, and LeperMessiah – an Asuka fan, a Rei fan, and a Misato fan… and every one of them secretly a Hikari fan :P
Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities or by e-mailing me directly at random1377(at-sign)yahoo(dot)com.