Soooo, I've made an executive decision to update three times a week for the next two weeks with only a few chapters left. I'm starting another semester that's busy off the bat, and I'm also eager to do another South Park series I've been working on.

TriceTokushu: Dear Kenneth really isn't seeing the consequence of his own actions. Whether he'll accept this diagnosis as normality is up for question, how he reacts to it and others is a whole other thing.

. . .

. .

.


Missing the bus sure was a nice way to start off the day, already. Kenny wallowed in a miserable walk to school the day after practically spitting bile to his parents and gaining their shit in return. His father was cold to him all morning, and his mother, Kenny could see the ashame in her eyes towards him. If he was a family burden why didn't they just leave him at the hospital when they had the chance. Make a run for it with Karen and Kevin. At least there were two other healthy kids to bet on.

Kenny turned into the emptied front courtyard of the school. Stopping in his slow tracks at the sight of some class-ditching sixth-graders. Bad luck was really, really giving Kenny a slap on the ass lately. But, there was not much more for him to lose. After nearly losing his own life, maybe Kenny always knew not much was there for him to worry about losing at all. He ventured forward to the main door.

"Augh!" Kenny hollered from the hit of something hard against the side of his cranium. Laughs of entertainment ensued and Kenny looked down the Coke can by his feet, a full one compared to the empty ones he was used to receiving.

Pissed eyes flashed their way. "Fuck off!"

Keifer laughed, fake driving his parked bike. "Did we hurt your wittle bones?"

Ignore it, as Kyle would tell him. But, what the hell did anyone know except for Kenny. He left the sanction of the doors and strode to the sixth graders. Looking for a challenge.

"It didn't even hurt."

Jared scoffed, leaning against the school's brick. "Yeah, right."

"It didn't," Kenny frustrated, lies coming off his tongue. "Nothing does as much anymore."

Whatever this little asswipe fourthie was on about, it didn't scare the sixth graders. Jared tapped Bartles on the shoulder in a snort, pushing off the wall and coming to Kenny's unafraid front.

"Yeah?" Jared challenged. "Do I still have barbie legs?"

Kenny sneered his nose upwards. "And a vagina-"

His coat's front was grabbed by Jared's fuming fists, lifting him by his front as the other boys laughed and awed in excitement as they circled the two. Kenny looked at Jared behind a dauntless scowl, though fear struck his eyes.

"Say that to me, again."

Kenny ground his teeth. "You have a big, fat vagina."

A bullet of spit blinded Kenny's left eye, burning his cornea as he squished his face in both disgust and burn. The others laughed at his helpless behavior as Jared looked on proudly. The shrimp may have survived, but he wasn't as tough as he acted.

"You better get to class, fourthie. Mr. Garrison needs his pansies."

Kenny squirmed mid-air in Jared's grip, the grip of his collar beginning to ring his neck as the sixth graders continued to amuse themselves.

"I don't care what you do to me, anymore.."

The little kid having marched up to them in the first place told them otherwise. Jared dropped the fourthie who landed on his butt before the group. "What about your brother? He didn't care."

Kenny pondered, realizing those bruises on Kevin's face had to have been more than just a skateboard accident. "You had to have pissed him off.."

The sixth graders still remained circled around the smaller boy on his bottom. Jared remained mid-group as he kicked at Kenny's foot, making the boy flinch just slightly. Finally showing his fear.

"Your stupid brother is such an asshat, McCormick." Jared sneered. "He acts soooo tough but still comes to the skatepark with the same busted skateboard. Did your drunk dad fix it or something?"

Kenny brooded against the snowy ground.

Jared cockily crossed his arms. "He's a rat."

Kenny rose his eyes in vexation. The last person to know anything about Kevin is any sixth-graders who were complete jokes. Kevin paved his way for Kenny and Karen more than anyone in this town could know. Kenny's illness affected his family enough, and he didn't need Jared-the-know-it-all-ass talking down about his older brother. He got up and bitterly scoffed Jared's way.

"You wish you were anything like Kevin."

Kenny spoke too close to the sixth-grader above him, testing Jared's patience too far this time. It was enough for the older kid to have the first punch on Kenny's snout.


Mr. Garrison wrote down the answers from the workbook exercise on the chalkboard as students corrected their work. Turning towards the mostly silent class as he continued to read along.

"Who can tell me number three's answer? Clyde?"

"Six," he answered as the door of the class silently opened.

Cartman looked up, first to notice the boy sneaking in quietly. The drawstrings of his hood were tightened far more than usual and covered the entirety of his nose. The door clicked shut and others rose their eyes to attention including Mr. Garrison. Watching Kenny make his way to his seat with no verbal explanation nor apology to the teacher as he went to his chair. He climbed in and sat down with a small creak, putting his books down before he tucked his hands to his lap and kept gravely silent.

"Any reason you're late, Kenny?"

Those other than Cartman closest to Kenny's seat only noticed when he sat down how tight his drawstrings were pulled. Garrison paused the lesson plan to approach. "Mr. McCormick."

He kept his head down. Kyle sat nearby and exchanged a look with Stan. Some others mumbled to Cartman in question and he shrugged, just as lost as anyone. When the teacher made his way to Kenny's front, he was still faced with the boy keeping his head down.

"Kenny, if you don't look up, that's detention."

There was a muffled sigh. Angered eyes rose from beneath the hood, and in giving the guy what he wanted, he loosened the string uncovering his nose. Audible gasps including Garrison's murmured at the pool of blood gushing from Kenny's snout. Staining his hood's insides all over its base though Kenny remained unfazed in looking at Garrison stone-cold.

"Jesus Christ, what did you do?" His teacher asked of him. Kenny's eyes simply drifted back to his desk. Others chattered mutteringly in bewilderment over how much blood a nose could hold by the amounts smeared on Kenny's chin and cheeks.

"Alright, enough." Garrison quieted the murmuring students. Looking to the most attentive, he threw a nod. "Wendy, please take Kenny to the nurse."


Kenny sat atop the table in the nurse's office, holding gauze to the drying blood over his nostrils. The rest of his face has been cleaned of blood as the nurse took an ice pack from the freezer. Mr. Mackey stood by having been notified of the amounts of blood gushing from Kenny's nose. The nurse approached and urged Kenny to remove the gauze blocking his nostrils, taking his chin gently and shifting his face left and right to observe.

"I don't think it's broken." She said. Some slightly good news. "No bruising so far. Stings but doesn't hurt on the bridge, right?"

Kenny nodded and held the ice pack to his nose.

"Good," she said, writing down some formalities on a paper. "The bleeding will stop as long as you tend to it."

Mackey stepped forward. "M'kay, well, would it be okay if I asked what happened?"

Kenny shrugged. "I said.."

Mackey remained poker-faced. Kenny's little story of falling down wasn't very believable. "We could always take it to the principal."

The boy sighed against his ice pack. Defeat in his downgraded gaze. "No, please.."

Mackey exchanged a look with the nurse at her desk. Maybe the source of the injury wasn't the issue right now, but rather helping Kenny with his strange behavior. "Would you like us to call your parents?"

After last night's little spat? Kenny wasn't sure he needed to cause his parents any more trouble. He spoke to neither of them this morning and in return, he could feel that his mother nor father's anger had defused. He needed an excuse.

"I'm sleeping over at Kyle's." He half-lied. While that was happening tonight, he definitely wasn't going based on his recent judgment of his ex-friends. "I wanna stay at school."

Even if he said it so numbingly, it was the only sign of excitement Kenny had for anything lately. Mackey wasn't about to deprive him of that distraction. "M'kay," he agreed carefully. "This will not be accepted without an answer, Kenny. If you don't come to my office by today, we're gonna call your parents."

Motherfucker, these people had no chill. Kenny couldn't risk having his parents implode over the wrath of having him come home with another thing he started. He sure as hell couldn't snitch on the sixth graders, either. What good would that do?

"Will you tell them I'm still going to Kyle's?"

"Yes. You just be careful," Mackey said. "You need a walk to recess?"

Kenny hopped off the table, frantic over his new decision to make. "No.."


When the final bell rang, Kenny felt his heart race against time. He avoided going to see Mackey all day and wasn't planning to now as he left his locker and scooted through students faster than he could without looking suspicious. Not much luck to help him there when he was already the school's biggest talk right now. He walked faster at the thought of being caught by the counselor in plain sight.

Go home, and he'd have to explain to his parents why he wasn't at Kyle's. Let alone be brought into a discussion over the dried blood on his nose. Mackey was sure to call them. Kenny could not screw himself over by going home. He couldn't afford his parents anymore of this shit. If he told on the sixth graders, forget it. Goodbye to looking any more normal than he barely did anymore.

He panicked in his steps forward, racing through kids chatting casually during a Friday afternoon though his plunging heart made him shake in his shoes. He dove his face down as he met the school's exit, following the crowds of kids going separate ways for their school bus or walk home. He was nearly home free when he stepped foot onto the sidewalk.

"Kenny?" A nasal voice familiar to him called.

He turned around in alarm, facing Craig nearing him on the path.

"Uh..what're you up to?"

Kenny could feel cold sweat gleaming his brow. He needed to get to a part of town where he could just hide it out for a while. He attempted to keep his cool when still on crowded grounds and under his classmate's gaze. Craig wasn't exactly subtle in passing on information.

"Just going-!" Kenny swallowed his sharp tone, Craig blinking oddly at him. "Going for a walk."

Craig could read Kenny's sensitive front. "Are you okay..?"

"Yes! Fine!" The hooded boy defended. He sniffed from his nose still being a little stuffy from this morning's incident. Kenny switched his gaze all over. "Just going to Stark's."

"Kenny, you sure I can't-"

"B-Bye." He shook nervously, turning and bolting. Craig was left clueless as other fourth graders piled out of the school's entrance.

"Did he say anything to you, Wendy?"

"I tried, Stan. He just kept quiet."

Stan sighed, parting ways with Wendy for now as he regathered with Kyle and Cartman along their way of the school's front path. Stan shrugged under his backpack straps. "He didn't say anything to her."

"Has anyone seen him since last period?" Kyle asked.

"I think he bolted." Cartman said.

Something didn't settle right in Kyle's core as he looked around at opposing groups of students gathered out front. Attempting to find the orange amongst the crowd. "Guys, this is bad."

"He doesn't want our help, dude.." Stan cautioned.

Cartman honestly had a hard time believing that. "Did you see his nose?"

"What if he's in trouble?" Kyle agreed. He kept looking around at the others. One class of first graders lined up onto an afterschool bus as a teacher assisted them. Meanwhile, others waited for their parents in a pick-up line. When Kyle spotted the little girl with tiny hairbows standing by her lonesome, another issue arose. She wouldn't be standing there unless she was waiting to walk home with her brother.

"Oh, boy.." Kyle nudged Stan to direct his attention to the lone girl. It looked like Kenny had gone strike on his job.

"No, no. We are not taking Kenny's babysitting gig." Cartman protested. "If he needed our help that bad, the asshole would have said so."

Kyle stuck a judgemental eye at Cartman. "Take a look at Kenny and say that to us again."

Cartman huffed, following Stan and Kyle anyway. The boys approached the little girl looking each way, starting to take notice that Kenny wasn't on his usual clock. Stan carefully tapped her on the shoulder and she turned, looking up at three.

"Hi, Karen. Have you seen Kenny?"

She frowned, shaking her head no.

"He was supposed to walk you. Wasn't he?"

"Kenny's gonna take me to Tricia's house."

"As in Tucker?"

She nodded and the boys figured the little girl was waiting on a lost cause. Kenny had only gotten more and more astray since his fight with his friends. If his head wasn't with him at school, he was barely there himself. Knowing how important his job as a big brother was to him though, the boys couldn't say they'd think he'd reach this low.

Karen could read the boys' tension. "Kenny isn't the same, anymore.."

Cartman crossed his arms. "Amen, sister.."

It would be any luck to them if they could so much find Kenny after today. Based on how quick he high-tailed out of school, his disappearance may have just put a switch on their sleepover plans.

Kyle sighed, giving a wave forward. "Okay. C'mon, Karen. Craig's isn't far from here."

They left the bus stop as they began to walk the youngest McCormick. Letting her lead the way to avoid the weirdness of leaving with the wrong babysitters. But knowing they owed it nonetheless.


When it turned out Stark's pond was completely empty that late afternoon, Kenny figured the familiar scenery was fine for him to keep hiatus for a while. It wasn't necessarily far away but isolated from all the answers people were gonna be looking for from Kenny. Soon that late afternoon turned into the early evening. Soon that evening passed quickly and Kenny watched the orange skyline slip its way away slowly beyond the mountains of the town. He kept huddled on top of a snow-ridden bench, unrealizing how cold it was supposed to be today. Even bundled up, going inside during late winters would've been best. The boy barely noticed how long he'd stayed with his knees tucked to his chest in a hug as his chin practically froze against his kneecap. He'd become skilled at staring off for a long time without noticing after finding things to occupy his mind in the hospital.

Snow twisted in an uneven wind and vortexed lightly around his bubble. His bag had become part of the ground, fallen to the snow. He felt glued to the icy seat underneath him with no movement by the running cold of his blood in his toes and his fingers. A blister of wind directed falling snow his way and he closed his eyes, feeling the iciness of snowflakes kiss his eyelashes gently. Slight snot smeared his nose from his mouth breathing, and he opened watery eyes by the warmth his body attempted to produce. At least it distracted him from the pain.

He saw no stars with the snowy winds blocking it. When he looked up, flakes attempted to rake his vision. He felt the curve of his back sting with a reminder of how long he'd been curled up. So afraid of moving a muscle, for he might leave the comfort that kept him from remembering what he'd left in this trail of drama. He attempted to embrace the cold more.

Maybe Kenny stared off for a long time now, but he swore he'd fallen asleep midair to dream just a few times. Being utterly mentally drained, he was so tired of warding off bad thoughts that he'd just made himself drift out of consciousness by habit. Willing to let any dream or even nightmare distract him from all the shit he caused, shit he's said, shit he's surfaced with everyone. The cold gave him more hugs and he jolted from another chill, still balled tightly. He opened his eyes again to see the line of the orange sky had gone and left Kenny with the blanketing night sky. Leaving him without getting to say goodbye.

Kenny was the type of person who knew how to leave without saying goodbye. He'd done a whole lot of that a while back, hurting people and selfishly leaving them in shreds. He'd done that to his family in burdening them with something that was his problem and then leaving them behind with anger in their hearts. He disappointed his friends and left them behind. None of them got a farewell or nice parting from Kenny. Nothing Kenny could say could owe anyone with what Kenny's survival brought upon them. The worst change to deal with. Kenny shook in his seat, feeling his bones rattle from the cold. He squeezed his eyes shut as tears of body warmth trickled out gently. Looking to his dreams to help him. In the first movement for a while, Kenny's exhaustion weighed down on him. He kept his knees close as he leaned to his left. Soon enough his head met one side of the bench and the world was sideways.

He saw Jefferson Lake again. His family was on it. It was the most relaxed they've ever been. The baby blue sky was decorated with paint-like splattered white clouds and looked almost too perfect for a real-life memory. Basing before green and brown dusted mountains and a fresh clear blue body of water. Kenny remembered the warmth of the wooden dock beneath the sun's radiance. His family reconciled back on the dock where Grandpa McCormick's boat was tied. Kevin's head came up above lake water from off the dock, pushing back his soaking wet hair in calling to his dad. Karen fell asleep again under the towel as Carol gave a silent thanks to god over her. Stuart leaned back in contentment but still with a watchful eye on his family. Kenny himself was nearby. Scooting on his knees to the fresh drinks on a cooler of ice.

Ice.

Kenny's body was as cold as ice, but he still saw the fresh blue of Jefferson Lake. Maybe that's where he would've gone if he never made it.

His bones rattled. He was cold from the tip of his toes and all the way up.

"Stan! Cartman! Over here!"

...so cold.

"Jesus, dude!"

...freezing.

"Kenny..?"

To be continued...