She found comfort in her room for the next hour. She was scared to step out into the house because she knew she would run into him. Peyton had no clue what had happened in Lucas's room but it made her think. She didn't know what any of it meant…it was too much confusion for her already spinning mind. She was torn away from her thought by a knock on her door.

"Hey" he gave a small smile when she opened the door. She merely looked at him as she held onto the side of the door. She had gone against her mind and opened the door because her heart begged her to.

"Hi" her voice was low and unsure.

"Can I come in" she looked up at him for a few seconds before stepping away from the door and allowing him entrance. Peyton sat on the edge of the bed as her eyes traced the floor below her. She wanted to avoid his eyes at all cost. She hated the fact that he cared because it made shutting him out harder. "Peyton I don't want you to leave because of…what happened."

"I don't know if I can stay here Lucas" she still wouldn't look at him. She was determined to remain strong.

"If you can't I understand and I won't make you stay…but please don't go. I want you to stay and I know Alex does." Although he wanted to, he didn't move any closer to her.

"How can you want me here…all we do is fight. And besides that…Lucas I took your daughter from you and then just left her here without saying anything to anyone…how can you just be okay with that?" Her eyes finally met his. This was the question she had been dying to ask since he brought Alex to her in the hospital room. None of it made sense to her.

"Peyton that was all in the past"

"But it doesn't matter…I fucked up Lucas…big time…how can you just up and forgive me."

"Because its not important Peyton…it doesn't matter anymore. We can't go back and change any of that now and it's pointless to waste time fighting about things we can't change. I get why you left Alex here and I can't hold that against you. You didn't do it because you just decided you didn't want her. Giving her up was something extremely hard for you and you did it because you love her. I don't have any doubts about that Peyton…you wanted to be a better mother so you sent her here so you could get better. Besides, I met my daughter and I couldn't be happier about that. The only thing that bothers me is you leaving to begin with."

"I was 17 and pregnant. Lucas, I had no clue what I was supposed to do. I was going to tell you and then things just took a different turn." She shook her head in defeat.

"Why didn't you just tell me Peyton…what could have happened that made you think you couldn't come to me"

"Brooke happened Lucas…she….I went to tell you that night at the lake and then she happened." Peyton ran a hand through her curls as she watched Lucas sort through his memories. She knew when it hit him because he had a look of sympathy on his face.

"That was the night she told me she was pregnant and then you pushed me away." A look of hurt cascaded over his face as he remembered the day after….the day she told him she never cared.

"I didn't know what else to do…I didn't wanna put that on you so I left." Tears fell from her hazel eyes as she spoke.

"Peyton I have to know…"

"I didn't mean it…I just needed you to let me go. I could handle it but I knew Brooke was going to need you…"

"You never should have left…if you had stayed just another day you would've known it was a false alarm. We thought it was real and we planed to make things work between us. But then things happened, including her lying to me and telling me she was definitely pregnant after the doctor told her she wasn't. She never forgave me and I never forgave her."

"But like you said we can't go back and change the past." He could hear the sadness in her voice as he bent down in front of her.

"No we can't but that still doesn't decide the future. Peyton…I still don't want you to go." His hand found its way onto her leg.

"But what's gunna happen if I stay here Lucas…" she looked down at his hand and then back up at him. "I don't know what to do Lucas…I'm used to having some kind of idea about what to do but this time there's nothing. I already have one reason to wanna live….I don't want another. I can't have another because it's too much already. I can't change what's going to happen but I can stop it from getting any worse then it already is. If I let you in…then we both have something to lose down the line and I don't know how long that line is" she looked down at his hand as it encompassed hers.

"But what happens if you keep shutting me out and then you miss out on something great. Peyt…what we had in high school was amazing….what if now it could be better. You're gunna live Peyton…for a long time…don't let yourself believe otherwise. Don't limit yourself because your scared. You might regret it"

"I know that Lucas and that's why I don't know what to do. I'm scared to let you in and I'm scared to push you away because either way I could lose."

"You don't have to move in leaps and bounds Peyt…take your time. you don't have to let me in right now but just don't push me away any further then you already have."

"Luke I'm just scared"

"And nothing's wrong with that…you're allowed to not know and to be scared about things. Just don't let fear control your life."

"Lucas …I'm sorry" She broke away from his grasp and stood from the bed. She didn't turn to look at him…she just moved to the window across the room.

"It's okay" he wanted to go over to her but he walked away instead. The door closed just as she collapsed to the floor…her body racked with sobs. It was a few minutes later that Brooke was wrapping the blonde in her arms.

"What happened earlier today Peyton…it had to be something…." Brooke pulled back and forced her best friend to look at her.

"I had my doctor's appointment today. Lucas is convinced that things will be okay but the treatment still isn't working and I just keep getting worse. They put me on some kind of radiation therapy today and it's already draining me Brooke. I'm dying and he wants me to let him in and I just can't." the tears poured form her eyes as she sat on the hard wooden floor.

"For starters you are not going to die. Second…what happens when you let him in…you have someone to be there for you. You have a family and chance as happiness for not only you but your daughter as well. What's so bad about that Peyton?" the blonde turned her head away as more tears began to form.

"Look I have to go…its getting late and I have an appointment in the morning. Just promise me you'll think things over tonight…okay?"

"Okay" her voice was barley audible but it satisfied the brunette. Brooke embraced Peyton on last time before getting up from the floor and leaving for the night. Over the next two hours the blonde moved from the floor to the bed but her mind remained torn.

It was after 9 when she made her way downstairs and into the kitchen. She was hoping that Lucas would be asleep but he was sitting at the table grading papers. He looked up when she opened the cabinet. "Alex is already asleep…I told her we could go out somewhere tomorrow since it's a Saturday." He didn't make eye contact with her when he spoke, he barley looked at her. She nodded in his direction but he had already returned all his attention to the papers in front of him. She didn't know why there were tears in her eyes, but here were and it was getting hard for her to hold them back. She turned to face the cabinets as water spilled down her cheek. She didn't want to turn around because then he would see her tears so she stayed in the same position with her hands gripped tightly to the counter for support.

Her grip grew tighter as the strength in her legs slowly vanished. She hadn't noticed her swaying until Lucas's hand steadied her. "Hey…you alright" she looked to find genuine concern all over his face.

"I can't do this anymore…it's too hard and it hurts too much." The tears were falling hard as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. She pulled back from his grasp with red eyes.

"You're gunna be fine Peyt…I promise you that you'll get through this…I'll make sure you…" she cut him off as her lips captured his in one gentle motion. Her lips parted just enough to allow his tongue entrance.

"Peyton…" he whispered her name as he reluctantly pulled away from her.

"I don't wanna be that scared anymore…I don't wanna feel so alone Lucas…"

"Then I won't let you…" he picked up her lips again before hoisting her on his waist and carrying her upstairs. She fell back into his bad as he hovered over her. "Are you okay" he questioned…his eyes never leaving hers. She nodded in response but he shook his head. "I need you to say it" he was close enough to feel the heat from her body,

"I'm okay" she whispered firmly before smiling up at him and letting him take over.