Data: I once had what could be considered a "crisis of the spirit". The Starfleet officers who first activated me on Omicron Theta told me I was an android. Nothing more than a sophisticated machine with human form. However, I realised that if I were simply a machine, I could never be anything else. I could never grow beyond my programming. I found it difficult to accept. So I chose to believe that I was a person. That I had a potential to be more than a collection of circuits and subproccessors. It is a belief which I still hold.

Worf: How did you come to your decision?

Data: I made… a leap of faith.

[TNG S6E23 Rightful Heir]

T'Mal connected the cable to Data's head.

'What are we going to do today?' he asked.

'Talk.'

'What about?'

'Different things. First things first—do you consider yourself a person?' asked T'Mal.

'Yes, I do.'

'Why?'

'I do not know,' replied Data. 'I was told I am just a machine and I found that difficult to accept. I wanted to be more than that, to grow beyond my programming. I realise I might be mistaken, but I prefer to believe I am indeed a person.'

'Do other people believe that too?'

'I have met people who thought otherwise, but the crew of the Enterprise treat me as an equal.'

'Do you consider them your friends?' asked T'Mal.

'Some of them—yes.'

'Who?'

'Commander La Forge, Captain Picard, Commander Riker, Lieutenant Worf, Counselor Troi and Dr. Crusher,' replied Data.

'Officers who work with you on the Bridge.'

'Yes.'

'These are the people you spend most time with,' said T'Mal. 'Is it the reason why you consider them your friends? Since you claim you don't have any feelings.'

'Yes, but it is not that simple. As I experience certain sensory input patterns, my mental pathways become accustomed to them. The input is eventually anticipated and even missed when absent.'

'Isn't it exactly the same as in humans? We meet other people, talk to them, spend some time together and become friends. We can describe what's happening in our organic brains using similar technical—or rather biological—vocabulary.'

'Such a description would diminish human experience,' said Data. 'It would miss an essential aspect of friendship. One that I am unable to achieve.'

'I think you might be diminishing your own experience right now. People tend to believe that beneath their own sensation there is something deeper than there really is. They mistake being used to someone's presence as eternal friendship. They believe that purely biological sexual desire is sacred love. This is nothing new. People like seeing themselves as much deeper than they really are.'

'Perhaps it is true. But perhaps you are just somewhat—cynical.'

'Perhaps I am,' said T'Mal. 'But people do tend to mistake simple things for deeper ones. For example most people considered Lore to be very human.'

'Because he was.' Data looked at her carefully.

'Well, I don't agree with it. He appeared to be human. He expressed emotions. But he was unable to form any meaningful connection. He used people to achieve his goals. You, on the contrary, seem to have stable relationships with others. From this point of view you are more human than Lore.'

'So you consider relationships more important than emotions when judging someone's humanity?'

'Yes, I do,' said T'Mal. 'People are social beings. They might lack intelligence, emotions or even self-awareness, but they never truly lack this social aspect of existence.'

'Intriguing.' Data seemed to be thinking intensively.

'But Lore's case tells us more about human nature. People looked at the machine and saw another human, because he looked like them and behaved like them. But was he truly human? No. It's anthropomorphization. It's natural, but it fails in contact with a robot.'

'But I am not a robot. I am an android.'

'Who cares?' said T'Mal. 'You are a machine. A machine without feelings.'

'It is true that I do not feel, but it does not mean I lack any dignity.'

'Don't you? The only dignity I can logically assign to you concerns your status as a remarkable piece of technology.'

'I am confused,' said Data. 'Have you not just said that relationships are more important than feelings? Am I not more than just a piece of technology from this point of view?'

'Your friendships might all be fake. You are nice—because of your programming. People treat you as a friend—because of anthropomorphization. It's beneficial but not necessarily a true connection.'

Data stared at T'Mal in silence for a while.

'Lieutenant, I do not appreciate this conversation,' he said finally.

'Why? It's only logical that I can insult and belittle you, since you have no emotions, isn't it?'

'I wish you did not.'

'Does it interfere with your programming that makes you try to seem human?' asked T'Mal.

'That is possible. Moreover, I choose to believe that I am a person and therefore I deserve respect.'

'Your choice might blind you. This is what you truly are: an emotionless machine made by a human like any other object. You were built, you can be dismantled. The only reason why you are responding to me is because of advanced algorithms in your positronic net. It's just a program, not the true intelligence nor self-awareness.'

'Lieutenant!' Data interrupted her and stood up.

T'Mal got up too and took a step towards him.

'Commander, I must apologise and explain,' she said in a much nicer voice. 'The purpose of this conversation was to check your reactions to humiliation. It wouldn't have worked if you had been aware of my intention.'

Data stared at her for a few seconds.

'Apology accepted.'

— — —

The door opened and Data went inside the lab.

'Good morning, Lieutenant,' he said.

'Good morning, Commander. Please sit down. To be honest, I was afraid you wouldn't want to come back here.'

'You apologised and explained your behavior. I do not see a reason not to come.'

'That's kind of you. Thank you. Can I ask you a question?' said T'Mal.

'Yes, of course.'

'How do you think humans experience emotions?'

'They just feel it,' replied Data. 'Lieutenant, are you not going to monitor my reactions?'

'No. I've already had all the data I need. I'll show you the results in a moment.'

'Oh.' Data tapped his fingers on a table and glanced at the big screen on the wall. It was on but still blank.

'You know, not everybody just feels it. It's more complicated. Typically, a person in a certain situation feels something, recognise the emotion and express it accordingly. But sometimes it doesn't work that way.'

Data looked at her steadily.

'Sometimes people have problems with expressing emotions due to their upbringing, trauma or neurological conditions,' continued T'Mal. 'Sometimes they find it difficult to recognise and describe what they feel. I am a perfect example. Oftentimes I simply don't know what I feel. I recognise just two states: calm and negative. It's hard for me to tell the difference between anger, fear or sadness. And frankly speaking, far too often I believe that I'm calm, while in fact I'm anxious.'

'Perhaps it is your Vulcan nature.'

'Perhaps. I don't know. But it seems to me that a lot of Vulcans deliberately repress their emotions, rather than have a natural inability to recognise them. Vulcan minds are highly disciplined. My mind needs such discipline, but it's unable to discipline itself. It's a source of great suffering for me.'

'I am sorry to hear that, Lieutenant,' said Data.

'Thank you. Though I have trouble recognising my feelings directly, I found a way to identify them. It's not perfect, but I manage, at least I try to.'

'May I ask how you do it?'

'I monitor my body's reactions—faster pulse, hot sensation, sweating, feeling dizzy, headache, stomachache,' said T'Mal. 'I observe my behavior, because even though I don't easily recognise my emotions, they still influence my decisions. I analyse the situation to understand what feelings it might evoke in me. It took me years to see this, to learn this. I thought I must have been insensitive when others cried and I didn't. I don't know if I felt the same sadness as they did, but I understood that my feelings of loss and emptiness were valid too.'

'Interesting. However, I fail to understand why you are telling me this. Does it have anything to do with your research or is it just a friendly confession?'

'I'd say both. Look.' She tapped on her computer and some images appeared on the screen on the wall. 'These are scans of a human brain in different situations. The coloured areas are the ones responsible for feeling and expressing emotions and analysing the situation rationally. In different situations these areas are more or less active, depending on the context. Dr. Soong based his design of his positronic brain on the biological human brain. Of course there are many differences, but they are similar enough to make a simplified visual comparison.' She tapped on her computer again and the images changed. They were different but still colourful. 'These are Lore's scans. He was cunning and expressive. His emotions were mostly anger, irritability and hostility. He felt shame but no guilt and very little so-called positive emotions.'

Data nodded his head.

'And these are your scans.' T'Mal tapped on her computer once again. The images changed. Data watched them for some time and looked at T'Mal.

'They are interesting, aren't they?' she said. 'You definitely think, but it's no surprise. You express emotions to some extent, not as much as Lore, but you do. Honestly, you're more expressive than an average Vulcan.'

'Yes, this is part of my programming. People would be very uncomfortable if my face was completely blank.'

'I bet they would. But it's not just your programming. You do feel.'

'But… I am an android,' said Data. 'I do not feel. I am incapable of feeling.'

'Well, you do. Look at these images. These aren't very strong, passionate emotions, but they are clearly there.'

'That is impossible.'

'Why? I'd say you have a bit of a similar problem as me,' said T'Mal. 'You can't recognise your own emotions. It's called alexithymia. Unfortunately, you also can't count on your body's reactions, since it's artificial. I guess it may contribute to your difficulties. You just don't have this biological feedback. I'm afraid you need to rely on the analysis of the situation, your behavior and your wishes.'

'But if I can only think about it, is it still an emotion?'

'The emotion is still there, even though you can only think about it. However, I believe that with some practice you may be able to feel it more directly, to distinguish your different emotional states.'

Data was silent. His eyes were moving as he was analysing the news.

'I'm pretty sure you are confused right now,' said T'Mal.

'Indeed I am.'

'This is an emotion, you know that?'

'Is it? Am I experiencing an emotion right now? Is there any way to amplify it via some sort of programming?' asked Data.

'I don't know. Your positronic net is very complicated and Dr. Soong didn't leave much information about it. Personally, I wouldn't risk experimenting like that on you.'

'I… appreciate it.'

'Well, that's all on my part,' said T'Mal. 'I need to process and organise the data, and to write the actual paper. I guess you have a lot to think about. I believe your friends might help you.'

'What about you?'

'Me?' T'Mal seemed surprised.

'You are very knowledgeable about emotions and I would gladly consider you my friend.'

'Friend? I… I don't have any friends.'

'You can have now,' said Data.

'Oh.' T'Mal looked down at her hands and played with her fingers. 'I'm sorry if that's a stupid question but… how? I don't know how.'

'We can meet in Ten Forward at 1900.'

'Um… Yes, we can. Ten Forward, 1900.'

'See you later, Lieutenant.' Data got up.

'T'Mal. You can call me T'Mal.'

'You can call me Data.'

T'Mal smiled slightly.

'See you later… Data.'