Data: I have noticed, Grandpa, that you keep repeating the same notes of a musical phrase I am unfamiliar with.

Ira Graves: Oh, it's, uh, it's an ancient little tune called "If I Only Had a Heart", a plaintive lament sung by a mechanical man who longs to be human. It's his only wish.

Data: What happens to this man?

Ira Graves: He finds out he's human after all, always was. Just worried so much, he… he never realised it.

[TNG S2E06 The Schizoid Man]

Two minutes before 1900 T'Mal came to Ten Forward and stood hesitantly at the doorway, playing with her fingers. She looked around the room, but she couldn't see Data anywhere. She took a step inside, then turned back and walked out.

She started pacing back and forth down the corridor, trying to look casual.

'Hi, T'Mal.' After a few minutes she heard Data's voice. She turned around and saw him with a puzzled expression. 'I do not understand why you are here walking away from Ten Forward where we were supposed to meet.'

'Oh, I am, uh, waiting for you,' replied T'Mal, a bit embarrassed. 'I've come to Ten Forward a few minutes ago and you weren't there so I… I decided to wait for you here.'

'Why have you not just waited inside?'

'I don't know anyone there. People would look at me or even worse, they would talk to me.'

They started walking towards the pub.

'It sounds as if being around other people is undesirable for you and I do not understand why,' said Data.

'Frankly speaking—I have social anxiety. Does it bother you?'

'No, it does not. However, would it not be advisable for you to talk to Counselor Troi about it?'

'I guess it would, but talking to her is scary too,' replied T'Mal.

'Perhaps I can be of some assistance in that matter. Counselor Troi is my friend, so if you do not mind, I can talk to her and make an appointment for you.'

'That would undoubtedly be reasonable,' agreed T'Mal, somewhat reluctant.

They entered the pub and sat down at the table.

'I believe I should apologise for being late,' said Data. 'Usually people arrive at the meeting point approximately ten minutes past the appointed time and I decided that coming five minutes past the appointed time would be socially desired. I am sorry for the inconvenience.'

'It's okay,' said T'Mal and looked around the room a bit anxiously.

'You seem uncertain. Have you ever been here before?'

'No.'

'Ten Forward is the hub of the ship's social activity,' said Data. 'Everyone on board comes here. I am surprised you have not.'

'I am a lonely, a bit rude person with social anxiety—how is this surprising?'

'Hmm. I am not sure if you are truly rude. Are you? I still find it difficult to tell the difference between rudeness, jokes and cultural customs.'

'I'm not rude because I really want to. Sometimes it just comes out like this when I'm preoccupied or when I try to joke,' said T'Mal.

'Is it not just a misunderstanding? I have always thought that true rudeness implies an intent to hurt the other person.'

'Then I'm not rude intentionally, but still sometimes I'm perceived as such.'

'Interesting,' said Data. 'You are very knowledgeable about emotions, yet you seem to struggle to maintain relationships with other people.'

'Ironic, isn't it? But my struggles are the very reason why I'm knowledgeable.'

'Have you always found it difficult?'

'Yes,' replied T'Mal. 'I mean, when I was a child, I was quite happy. I have an older sister and a younger brother. She's a doctor and lives in the Mars colony. He's a Starfleet officer. We lived on Earth.'

'I assumed you had graduated from a Vulcan school.'

'l guess it's a common assumption. People see my pointy ears and assume a lot of things about me, but I'm not really Vulcan. My mother loves Vulcan culture and ideals, but she found their way of life difficult when she was young. When she met my father—a Starfleet officer—she moved to Earth. She misses Vulcan, but I think she's happier on Earth. We lived for a few years on Vulcan, but the school there was so… It was a very hard time for me. I had mental health problems.'

'I am sorry,' said Data. 'I did not know.'

'Thank you. Frankly speaking, I feel like a broken Vulcan. I'm not calm and disciplined. I can't perform a mind meld.'

'But you are not fully Vulcan, so perhaps you should not compare yourself to them.'

'I guess you're right,' said T'Mal. 'You know, because of my problems on Vulcan I decided to enlist in Starfleet and study psychology. This is the only reason I'm a junior lieutenant.' She touched the gold and black pips on her collar.

'Are you not ambitious?'

'I don't know. I'm not interested in such a promotion. I just want to do solid research. But to be honest, I love seeing my name in science journals.' She smiled.

'I am confused. Since you graduated from Starfleet Medical Academy, how did you happen to be a cyberneticist?'

'I've never really worked as a counselor. When I was finishing my studies, I took interest in cybernetics and artificial intelligence. Commander Maddox liked my paper about it and requested my transfer to Starbase 173.'

'I know Commander Maddox, I keep in touch with him,' said Data.

'I know. He shared your messages with me before he assigned me to study you.'

'Hmm. I was not aware of it.' Data straightened up.

'You don't like it, do you?'

He looked at her with a puzzled expression.

'Why not?' he asked. 'It was only logical for him to give you the most information available.'

'I can see your reaction. This was your private correspondence, yet it was used in a way it would never have been, had you been human. It's not illogical to be offended by it.'

'But I do not have an ego.'

T'Mal looked at him with a mixture of adoration and impatience.

'You do.'

'Do I?' Data's eyes were moving as he was analysing her response. After a few seconds he looked at her expectantly.

'Yes. And judging by your career, you also have quite a lot of ambition.'

'Is this vanity? Am I a bad person because of it? Especially that I am not fully aware of it? Is there a way to control it?'

'You don't have to worry about it,' said T'Mal. 'Ambition isn't necessarily bad. A healthy amount of it gives us motivation to learn, to discover, to lead.'

'How can I know if I am too ambitious if I cannot feel it directly?'

'Overly ambitious people aren't usually aware of their problem. Ethics is rarely a matter of feeling. Depending on it can actually be misleading. We must evaluate our moral principles rationally. Your ethical program should be enough.'

'But what if I miss some essential aspect due to my inability to feel?' asked Data.

'Your inability to recognise your emotions,' T'Mal corrected him. 'You don't miss anything important. All your life you've managed completely fine.'

'Bridge to Commander Data.' Suddenly they heard Picard's voice coming from Data's combadge. 'Please report to the Bridge.'

Data straightened up and pressed his combadge.

'Acknowledged,' he said. 'Excuse me,' he added, looking at T'Mal. 'I have to go.'

'Okay. Thank you for the meeting.'

'I would like to continue our conversation in the future.'

'Me too.' T'Mal smiled slightly. 'See you later!'

'Goodbye!' Data got up and headed towards the exit.

— — —

T'Mal was reading something on her computer in the lab when the door chimed.

'Come in!' she said.

The door opened and Data came inside.

'Good morning, T'Mal. Are you busy?'

'Not really. Why?'

'I have just finished my night shift and I decided to pay you a visit. Perhaps we could meet in Ten Forward after your work?'

'We can talk now if you'd like. I'm not doing anything important.' She pointed to a chair at the silver table. Data sat down with a slight innocent smile.

'What have you been doing?' he asked.

'Right now? I've been reading Dr. Ira Graves' memories.'

'His memories?'

'You know, the ones he downloaded to your computer after he had, uh, possessed you,' said T'Mal. 'Commander Maddox had me analyse them before I studied Lore.'

'Have you found them interesting?'

'Yes. His knowledge was incredible. However, considering what I've found out, I'm not surprised by what he did to you.'

'What do you mean?' asked Data.

'His lifelong dream was immortality. He wanted to find a way to transfer human consciousness into the artificial body. Of course, he was only partially successful. He managed to transfer his knowledge and memories into the computer, but his consciousness was lost. He died.'

'But he also managed to transfer his consciousness into me.'

'Indeed. What he needed was a positronic brain, but as far as he knew, nobody was ever successful in creating one,' said T'Mal.

'Nobody but one. Dr. Soong created Lore and me.'

'Yes. I wonder why he really did it.'

'He wanted to create an artificial life-form. He treated us like his children,' said Data.

'Then he was truly a terrible father. He disassembled Lore—'

'He was dangerous. He collaborated with the Crystalline Entity. Hundreds of people died because of him.'

'Well, I agree. But Soong also left you there on Omicron Theta, having wiped your whole memory,' said T'Mal. 'You were lucky you were found by Starfleet. Honestly, I believe the whole "father–son" thing was just manipulation.'

'Was it?'

'He left you there. No loving parent would ever do that.'

Data looked at her in silence.

'According to Graves, Soong at least in the beginning shared his dream,' continued T'Mal. 'They collaborated until the first failed attempt to build the positronic brain, before Soong disappeared, hiding on Omicron Theta. You know, most people aren't actually interested in artificial intelligence as a life-form. They're afraid of it. There are a lot of stories about dangerous AI that is more intelligent, stronger and faster than humans. AI that has decided humans must die. What people really want is to be enhanced themselves. They aren't interested in building sentient androids. They want either fully obedient robots or technology that gives them knowledge, makes them stronger, healthier. Immortal. When Commander Maddox intended to disassemble you, he didn't want to create an entire race of artificial life-forms. He dreamt of an army of robots that could be used during dangerous missions instead of Starfleet officers. Nobody would mourn the machines, they could be easily replaced. I believe you were initially built as a mere vessel to contain human consciousness.'

'It does not make sense. Why would Dr. Soong have developed my programming if he had never intended for me to be sentient?'

'Your programming is essential for your artificial body to function properly. Graves would've never been able to possess you if there had been no programming. Human consciousness is simply not enough to control the body. Especially the body it wasn't born in.'

'So you believe I am just an experiment that would eventually be erased?' asked Data.

'Yes. Yes, I do. You know, I've spent hours analysing your logs and it seems to me that you're actually quite prone to being possessed by different entities. Graves, the Nanites, the alien prisoner from Ux-Mal, those weird aliens with masks… And the so-called god of Edo assumed you had been constructed for information exchange.'

'Actually, I volunteered to communicate with the Nanites.'

'Nevertheless you were able to serve them as a vessel,' said T'Mal, 'while most robots I studied could never do it. At least not without severe damage to their programming.'

'Intriguing. However, it could just mean that my positronic net is truly advanced and unique.'

'It certainly is.'