Tam Elbrun: It worries you that I can't read your mind?

Data: Perhaps there is nothing to read. Nothing more than mechanisms and algorithmic responses.

Tam Elbrun: Perhaps you're just different. It's not a sin, you know. Though you may have heard otherwise.

[TNG S3E20 Tin Man]

'Second Officer's Personal Log, Stardate . . . . I have successfully arrived at the cybernetics conference. I asked Lieutenant Ortez to accompany me, since she is an accomplished scientist interested in this field. I hope our time here will be academically enriching.'

— — —

T'Mal and Data were sitting in a pub in the starbase where the cybernetics conference took place.

'I've been to a few conferences before, but I've never socialised that much!' said T'Mal.

'You are talking only to me.' Data looked confused.

'In the pub! I call it socialising! I used to go back to my room immediately after the lectures and analyse what I'd heard.'

'I have noticed that talking to other participants after the symposium actually proves more educational than analysing the new information alone. They offer new perspectives and ideas.'

'That sounds logical, I won't argue,' said T'Mal. 'Do you want to offer me your perspective?'

'I would rather focus on socialising.'

'Am I holding you back? Do you want to talk to other people?'

'No, I do not,' replied Data. 'I am content. I simply meant I do not need to talk about the topics discussed at the conference. We may focus on the non-relevant conversation, that is an unrestricted conversation between friends, not necessarily the so-called small talk.'

'No small talk, good. I hate it. But now the little voice in my head is panicking, because it doesn't know what to say.'

'You hear voices in your head?' asked Data, concerned.

'I'm not talking about some imaginary voices, but about the voice in my head, you know, the one that is saying my thoughts?'

'You have a voice that is saying your thoughts?'

'Yes,' said T'Mal. 'You don't?'

'No. Does every human have such a voice?'

'No. Some people think with words, and some with images. And some with both, like me.'

'Hmm. It has never occured to me that people might think like that,' said Data. 'For a moment I thought—I was worried—that since I do not have such a voice, I do not really think. Not like humans do.'

'You don't have to do everything like most people do. So how do you think? Do you see some images? Or some other way?'

'I believe the data I process has a visual representation.'

'Interesting,' said T'Mal. 'Maybe that's why you like painting. And sometimes you mix some sayings, for example… What was it? Uh, I can't remember.'

'I once said "pursuing an untamed ornithoid without cause"—'

'What was that supposed to mean?'

'A wild goose chase.'

T'Mal laughed. 'That's good!'

'I also said "ignite the midnight petroleum" instead of "burn the midnight oil".'

'It looks like you remember the image, but not the exact words.'

'I think that is correct,' said Data. 'Can it be the reason why I do not understand jokes?'

'Maybe people keep telling you bad jokes.'

'Others find them funny. And once Guinan told me explicitly that the joke I did not understand was funny and I was the problem, not the joke.'

'Did she really tell you that?' asked T'Mal.

'Yes. I have a clear memory record of that conversation.'

'What a nonsense. There are no objectively funny jokes. While most people have a similar sense of humour, there are some who find different things funny. It's not a sin, you know? You think differently, you have unique experiences. It's not surprising. Perhaps you should check out other kinds of humour. Jokes based on playing with words might just not be your cup of tea.'

'Intriguing,' said Data. 'Do you struggle with humour?'

'I'm not sure how to answer. Do I get standard jokes? Not really. Do I find some things funny? Definitely. But my sense of humour is weird and surreal, and a bit dark.'

'So you believe it is possible that I have some sense of humour?'

'Of course,' replied T'Mal. 'But it might be harder for you to laugh because of all the things you've been through.'

'I see.' Data looked at the dance floor thoughtfully and was silent for a moment.

'Would you like to dance?' he asked.

'Are you serious?'

'Yes. Why not?'

'I can't dance,' replied T'Mal,

'I would be happy to teach you. This is cha-cha, one of the easiest dances. I can show you the steps.'

'Absolutely not.'

Data looked abashed.

'I mean, it's very nice of you, but I really can't dance,' continued T'Mal.

'Perhaps you can practise with me or alone when we come back to Enterprise. I have programmed a comprehensive 17-part course with some interesting holographic partners.'

'I'm sure it's great, but I've already tried. And, forgive me, I'm not going to learn to dance with you.'

'Why?' asked Data.

'You're a harsh critic, Data. Just a few weeks ago you invited me to a play and you were so disgusted with Lieutenant Barclay's performance.'

'I was certainly not disgusted. I was just… not impressed.'

'Well, I don't want you to be "not impressed" with my lack of dancing skills,' said T'Mal.

'I assure you I will not judge you.'

'You will. Even if you won't say a word. You'll just have that look on your face. And I don't want that. I really don't.'

'Perhaps you have misunderstood my intentions,' said Data. 'I am not interested in watching your performance and judging your skills.'

'Yeah. You can't shut off your brain. And no matter how hard I try, my body just doesn't listen to me.'

'I do not understand how it is possible.'

'And other people don't understand how you can't feel emotions directly,' said T'Mal. 'Different people have different problems.'

'Hmm. I have not thought of it that way.'

They watched people on the dance floor for a while. Soon the song ended and another began, much slower and calmer.

'This song does not require any special steps and only minimal foot movement,' said Data. 'Shall we dance?'

'I bet I'll manage to step on your feet anyway.'

'I remind you that I do not feel any pain and you cannot hurt me that way.'

He got up and extended his hand towards her. She looked at it hesitantly but took it eventually. He led her to the dance floor and took her right hand with his left, putting his right hand on her waist. With a sheepish expression, she put her left hand on his shoulder. They started swaying back and forth. He was looking at her with a slight smile while she was glancing at him every now and then.

'We have been dancing for thirty two seconds and you have not stepped on my foot yet,' said Data. 'Moreover, you have managed to keep the rhythm.'

'Don't worry, it can happen anytime, especially when you keep talking to me.'

'I shall remain silent then.'

T'Mal smiled and blushed a little. They kept dancing for a few more minutes.

— — —

T'Mal and Data were in the shuttlecraft, flying to meet the Enterprise.

'There were a lot of intriguing theories presented at the conference,' said Data.

'I agree. I'm going to try the one about wireless data transmissions on the Soong's chip. I'm not done examining it.'

'I have noticed you tend to be very thorough.'

'I might be,' said T'Mal, 'but, unfortunately, it makes me slow and not very effective.'

'I disagree. In my particular case you were exceptionally efficient.'

'Thank you. However, I had been experimenting on Lore for a long time. Data, please tell me honestly, does it bother you?'

'I do not think about it often,' replied Data.

'But does it?'

'Perhaps… sometimes… a little. Do not worry about it.'

'I do. I want you to know what it looked like,' said T'Mal.

Data looked at her with interest and a bit of anxiety.

'When Lore was dismantled, Commander Maddox made every effort to bring him to Starbase 173,' continued T'Mal. 'Initially, he was the one who examined him, but soon he became discouraged, because he wasn't able to successfully replicate Lore's positronic matrix. Then he assigned me to study him. I guess he was fed up with his lack of success.'

'Did he want you to replicate Lore?'

'Fortunately—no. I think he wanted me to discover as much as I could, so that he could continue with his research later. At first, I just studied Lore's brain when he was disassembled, but I found it not to be enough. So I… connected his head to the torso—without arms and legs, because, frankly speaking, I was afraid he would attack me—and switched him on. Then I started talking to him and developing the technology to scan his brain to understand his reactions. It lasted for many months. At first, Lore was… well, he wasn't happy with what I was doing, but after some time it got better. I think he was bored and desperate for any activity, any contact with other people. He became nicer, more polite, helpful even. Some parts of my program were actually his idea. From today's perspective I would say he was emulating you a bit. It wasn't until later when I realised that he had been manipulating me.'

'I am sorry to hear that,' said Data.

'Well, thank you. I was so angry at him and at myself. He saw how lonely I was and used me. Me, a psychologist who was supposed to be aware of different techniques of manipulation.'

'Unfortunately, I am not surprised by his behavior.'

'Perhaps I was less careful than I should have been, because I found this research very fascinating,' said T'Mal. 'There's something extremely interesting about cybernetics. I've always spent a lot of time in a lab, neglecting social life. My dad sometimes jokes that I'll eventually marry a robot.'

Data looked at her and let out a forced laugh.

'It's not that funny,' said T'Mal, smiling. 'You know, I was so mad at Lore, because for a very brief moment I began to fall for him.'

'You did?'

'Don't tell anyone, it's embarrassing.'

'Why?' asked Data. 'Is it because Lore is an android?'

'I don't know. I guess partially…'

'Do you think I should never pursue any romantic relationship as well?'

'No.' T'Mal glanced at him briefly. 'You are… You can be a wonderful partner.'

'I am not so sure. I was in a very short relationship and my partner was ultimately dissatisfied with me.'

'May I ask why?'

'You may,' said Data. 'She was disappointed that I did not pay her enough attention. My reactions were inadequate. For example, she told me not to let her interrupt my painting and I understood it literally. I resumed my activity even though she was still in the room. When I was kissing her, I was thinking about the warp field parameters, the collective works of Charles Dickens, the maximum pressure I could safely apply to her lips, a new food supplement for Spot—and unfortunately I told her that openly when she asked about it. Ultimately she ended our relationship.'

'I'm so sorry it happened to you.'

'I believe you should be sorry for her. I could not give her what she needed.'

'Could you?' said T'Mal. 'I don't know any details about your relationship, but what you've just told me sounds a bit disturbing.'

'Was I so inadequate as a partner?'

'No, I'm not talking about you. Why was she disappointed that you were thinking about many different things when you were kissing her? That's how your brain works! I'd be deeply concerned if you thought only about one topic. And biological people do it too, they just usually don't realise it. You seem more aware of your thoughts. And most men would simply lie in such a situation. I've always hated such questions. It's nobody's business what I think.'

'You make it sound as if Jenna was not a good partner,' said Data. 'I do not agree, she was very lovely and much more experienced than me.'

'It doesn't sound as if her previous relationships were successful. Regarding your, as you put it, inadequate reactions, didn't she know that you tend not to easily understand social cues? Didn't she know you at all? Did she expect you to conform to her requirements?'

'I tried to develop a romantic program to be the partner a woman could be happy with. However, I was not entirely successful.'

'It doesn't look like she ever tried to understand your needs and reactions,' said T'Mal. 'And I know, it wasn't easy when everyone, including you, believed you were an emotionless machine. But somehow Geordi managed perfectly fine.'

'But Geordi is my friend, not my romantic partner.'

'I strongly believe that a romantic relationship must be based on friendship.'

'I truly hope you are not suggesting I develop a romantic relationship with Geordi.' Data looked a bit uncomfortable.

'No.' T'Mal laughed. 'I just mean that if Geordi was able to pay attention to your needs, someone who is interested in you romantically should as well. You are a person, not a program that can be adjusted to play a perfect boyfriend.'

Data looked at her, but remained silent.