Chapter 73 Past Feelings

"Derrick, Stacey, and I met in college. Derrick became one of my good friends. We would study together and hang out when we were not studying. Derrick and Stacey were very much in love. It wasn't until I moved back to San Francisco and was floating between there and Cape Fullerton that we starting getting closer. The more time we spent together, the more I realized I was growing more and more attracted to Stacey. Eventually, I had to move and start over. I felt extremely guilty for having feelings for a good friend's wife. The only way to stop those feelings was to disappear. I wanted to find what they had. I finally did that by coming here and meeting you Elizabeth." He explained reaching down to grab her hand.

"Lucas, now she is here. How do you feel?" She asked concerned about losing her husband tears now building in her eyes.

"It was definitely a shock to see her. I moved away thinking I never had to see her again. I was attracted to her Elizabeth but left before I let myself fall any deeper. Elizabeth, that all happened before I met you. You have to trust when I say that you have changed my life. What I thought I was feeling for Stacey, doesn't even compare to what I feel for you. This right here is love and the only kind I want in my life." He said now gazing deep into her eyes and brushing away the teardrops that were beginning to fall with his thumbs.

"Lucas now she is going to be staying here in Hope Valley and working for you? That is not very reassuring to me. How do I know all those feelings won't come rushing back?" She asked emotionally. "Did she know how you felt about her?"

"I never told her. I would not have done that. I could not tell another man's wife that I had feelings for her. Elizabeth, I guess I am going to ask you to trust me and believe that are love is stronger than any challenge and we will survive everything as long as we talk it out together." He said pleadingly.

"Lucas, I must say that I am not thrilled she is here. The thought alone is making me very uneasy."

"Elizabeth, I can not run her out of town. That goes against everything I believe in which is helping people at all costs. She has a right to be here." He said uncertain how to proceed with this situation. "What do you want me to do? The last thing I want is for there to be any awkwardness or for you to feel uncomfortable in our relationship."

"I don't know. I just don't want you to be around her alone I guess. Do you think she returns your feelings?" She asked.

"Elizabeth those were past feelings, I don't have those feelings anymore. She said she didn't know anymore than I did who she was meeting. I believe she is here for honest reasons. I have never known her to be anything but honest. I did not invite her here. Please don't hold my past against me. I am in love with you and only you and our family. This is the only life I want and I would never do anything to jeopardize that." He motioned for her to sit on his lap, which she happily did but feeling very insecure about their relationship at the moment. He wrapped his arms around her waist. "I love you Elizabeth and only you. We will take this one step at a time and I promise I will make sure you are with me when I go to the hotel, which might I add has not been a lot lately."

"I'm sorry Lucas I don't mean to be so jealous. I just can't help it. I love you and our family so much and I don't want anything to come between us."

"Elizabeth, it only comes between us if you let it." He said now tilting her chin to look him in the eye. "Don't let Stacey into our marriage. I assure you I am not going too." He said now kissing her deeply.

She returned his kiss. "I hadn't realized you were such a ladies man in college. You failed to mention that part to me."

"Elizabeth, don't believe everything you hear. I did not date any women in college. I told you there were only five women I had kissed and you will be happy to know that Stacey was not one of them." He said reassuringly.

"That does not mean they were not interested." She said emotionally.

"Elizabeth, you can't seriously hold me responsible for woman being attracted to me. I can assure you that I did not encourage any behavior like that." Lucas said now rubbing her back and kissing her neck. "What can I do or say to make you believe me that you are the only woman for me?"

"It's not you Lucas, it's me. I always knew you were a well traveled man and very handsome at that. I guess I just never really took the time to think about the women in your past or how I would react if I ever met one of them. It caught me off guard." She said now pressing her forehead to his.

"I was just as caught off guard Elizabeth and I never meant for it to cause you pain or doubt because you should have none."

"Did you have any other serious relationships that might show up at our door that I should know about?" She asked. "Should I expect to meet one of these five women you have kissed?"

"Elizabeth, I can not predict what is going to happen in our future nor can I tell you one of those woman will not show up here one day. I always parted on good terms and tried not to lead them on when I was sure there was no future for us. You are my future. Our family is all I want and nothing will change that for me."

She responded to his words with a deep, passionate kiss, rubbing her hands through his hair. "I love you Lucas Bouchard!" She whispered.

"I love you too."