Chapter One
I knew you, dancing in your Levis, drunk under a street light
We'd known each other for years, ever since we'd first started at Northwestern University. I'll admit, I've had a bit of a thing for Edward for a long time, I think we all have, one way or another, but it's never amounted to anything more than a heart flutter and a blush on my cheeks.
When we'd first met at the tender age of eighteen, he'd been beautiful. Truly beautiful. Tall and lanky with reddish-brown hair and piercing green eyes that could stop you in your tracks. He'd been the life and soul of the party, not to mention an incorrigible flirt.
At first, I'd been embarrassingly attracted to him, unable to hold a conversation without going bright red and stuttering over my answers. But he'd always been charming and quick to give me a wink and a smile before breezing past to another drooling adolescent desperate for his attention.
Eventually, I came to the realisation that I wasn't what Edward was looking for in a girlfriend, not that he did the girlfriend thing, and that my fantasy of him turning up to my dorm room in the pouring rain confessing his undying love for me, just wasn't going to happen.
Then, as time went on, he became a regular fixture within my friendship group. The more I got to know Edward, the more of a friend he became and the more my attraction to him took a backseat although never completely being snuffed out. As studying and exams took over, my friendship group got smaller until there were just six of us - Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Edward, and me.
After we graduated and moved into the real world Emmett and Rose moved in together, having been a couple for years. Jasper and Edward had decided to share an apartment and after about thirty seconds of Alice's incessant begging, we signed a lease to share too.
We all got jobs - me working at a local publishing house, Alice as a buyer for Arden department store, Rose for Hollis & Parish law firm, Emmett as a physiotherapist and part-time trainer at the local gym, Jasper as a researcher at the Museum of History and Industry and Edward at UW Medical Center. We spent the next couple of years getting to grips with being proper adults, learning to manage a home, pay our bills and navigate through this big new world. We all toned down our partying, started eating better and generally growing up.
But tonight is Emmett's birthday and Rose is throwing him a party, inviting all his old college buddies, his colleagues and friends from the gym. I'm looking forward to the evening. Even though I'm not a party animal like Emmett, I enjoy letting my hair down and having a laugh with my girls.
"You're not going like that" I hear Alice say from behind me, making me jump.
"Why? What's wrong with it?" I ask, turning to look at her leaning against my bedroom door. She's dressed in skinny black jeans, a strapless black top with some kind of sparkly shit all over it and sky-high stilettos. The fancy kind with the red soles.
"You look like you're going to the library!" She says, as if it's obvious and that I should be as equally horrified as her.
"No I don't! I look casual. That's what Rose said, "smart casual"." I say pointing down at my outfit of jeans, cardigan and boots.
"Emphasis on the "smart" child" Alice replies rolling her eyes. "Smart casual doesn't mean wearing your old cardigan from under the bed, it means wearing pants with your stilettos rather than a dress. Have I taught you nothing?" She continues as she heads towards my closet.
I roll my eyes. You'd have thought after all these years, I would be used to her antics. She greedily swipes through my measly rail of clothing before gasping in delight.
"This...THIS is what you should wear." She says before pulling out the item from my wardrobe as if she's revealing a prize I've just won. The item she's chosen is a tight black body with a low scooped back. I bought it years ago when we went to a Halloween party.
"No Alice, I'm not wearing that." I say, standing to brush my hair.
"Why?" She whined. "You'll look hot in it."
"No, I'll look like I'm trying too hard, not to mention it probably doesn't even fit anymore. I was like...nineteen when I bought that".
"Please...just try it on...for me." She pouts, giving me what we dubbed her "Puss in Boots" eyes. I try to resist, I really do, but when she looks at me like that I know I haven't got the energy to fight against her.
"Urgh fine!" I say after a moment's hesitation. Alice passes me the offending item before turning her back to me. I quickly strip out of my clothes and squeeze my slightly larger-than-I-was-at-nineteen body into the garment, pulling my jeans back on and shoving my hair out my face.
"You can look now." I say, slightly out of breath. God, I've got to start working out.
Alice turns around and her eyes light up mischievously. "You look fucking hot, or at least you will when I'm finished".
"Finished? Wait what?" I ask starting to get a bit nervous and knowing that if I don't nip this in the bud I will be here all night while Alice plays dress up on me.
"Oh shut up and sit down, you'll like it when I'm done." she says before starting to apply my makeup. For the next twenty minutes, Alice painstakingly brushes powder onto my eyes, draws the cat-eye flick with my eyeliner, powders my cheeks, and paints my lips. She then gives my hair what she calls a "semi just fucked" look before turning my mirror towards me. I've got to be honest, she's right, I do look good. Maybe not as good as I did when I was nineteen, but not bad.
I smile at her before saying "now can we go?".
"Urgh, yes, now we can go...oh WAIT, you need some shoes!" She gasps before flying out of my room and down the hall to hers.
"Alice I'm not wearing something with a needle for a heel!" I shout after her, grabbing my phone from the dresser.
"I know your aversion to stilettos so here, take these." She passes me a pair of black shoes with a slightly wider heel than her own. I sigh, shoving my feet into them before heading out the door.
Alice hails a taxi and we both slide in, heading through the city towards Emmett and Rose's apartment.
"Do you think Jasper will be there?" Alice asks in the dark of the cab, looking at her flawless makeup in her compact mirror.
"I'd have thought so, he is one of our best friends" I reply sarcastically with a knowing smile. Alice has fancied the pants off of Jasper for the last couple of years, probably longer if she was honest with herself, and if I didn't know better, I'd say that Jasper felt the same. They were just too blind to see it.
"Hm." Alice replied looking out the car window, avoiding my gaze.
Before too long we pull up at the top of Emmett and Rosalie's street. Their apartment is accessed from the side of the building, down a pedestrian-only path. We both get out and pay the driver before linking arms, heading towards the lit-up building.
I stumble slightly as we make our way down the inclined street to the side entrance.
"What are you even falling over?" Alice laughs, striding along in her razor-like heels as if she's born to it.
"The cobblestones!" I say, wobbling along, clinging to Alice's tiny frame for dear life.
Once we've made it to the safety of the doorway, Alice presses the buzzer. After a moment, we hear Rose's voice come through the muffled speaker.
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's Bella and Alice." I say.
"Come on up bitches!" Rose calls back as the door unlocks and swings open. We both climb the stairs, the noises from the party getting louder the nearer we get.
They're definitely going to get a noise complaint from the neighbours.
Alice knocks on the door, tapping her foot anxiously.
"He'll think you look beautiful," I say, nudging her arm. She smiles a shy smile at me just as the door opens, revealing Rose. She looks like a supermodel. Her tall, slim frame is accentuated by skinny jeans, an off-the-shoulder blood red blouse, and stilettos.
She gives us a good look, up and down, before catcalling and dragging us through the door.
"Where's the birthday boy?" I ask over the noise of music, laughter, and what feels like hundreds of voices.
"This way. You both look fucking hot by the way" Rose says with a wink over her shoulder.
As we walk through the apartment, squeezing past bodies and saying the occasional "hi, how are you" to a familiar face, Emmett's huge frame comes into view. His face lights up when he sees us.
"ALLIE! BELLY!" he shouts at us, picking us both up in a bear hug.
"Please don't call me Belly, Em." I say with a wince, "It makes me sound huge".
"Aw, you know I love you my little Belly Button". He says with a laugh.
I can't help but smile at him, even though he's a pain in the arse. As Emmett moves to the side slightly to speak to someone behind us, I see Jasper.
"Hey Jazz" I say with a smile. Jasper tilts his head up, squinting his eyes slightly while he smiles at me.
"Hey Bella, you look nice all dolled up" he replies, his slight Southern accent coming out. I smile and call Alice over.
"Allie, come say hello to Jasper!".
Alice squeezes past Emmett and gives Jasper a winning smile.
"Hey Jazz, how you been?" she says. Jasper looks at her like the cat that got the cream, a slow smile spreading across his face, his eyes glazing slightly at the sight of her.
"Er, yeah I'm good. You look great Allie" He replies. Alice's cheeks tinge pink and she bites her lip.
Just as I'm about to suggest that Alice takes the seat next to Jasper, I hear a deep voice behind me.
"Well don't you look ravishing".
I turn to meet the piercing green eyes I know the voice belong to. Behind me, Edward stands with his hands in his pockets, a lopsided grin on his face, and a glint in his eyes.
"Hey" I smile. "You don't look too bad yourself"
He gives me a wink and slides past me taking the seat on the other side of Jasper. As he does I get a whiff of his aftershave, the smoke from the cigarettes he always pretends not to smoke and something else distinctly...Edward.
Eventually, Emmett and Rose come over to join us all, Rose moaning that her shoes are killing her and for a moment it's like we're all eighteen again. Laughing, joking, talking shit with each other.
Halfway through the evening, Emmett whispers in Rose's ear and she looks at him with that glint in her eye. Both sneak off saying they need to use the bathroom but we all know they're going off to bang. Then, Jasper asks Alice if she'd like to get a drink from the kitchen and they squeeze through the crowd, Jasper offering his hand to Alice so they don't get separated. She turns to look at me with a smile on her face and I wink and nod back at her, my heart doing a little happy dance for them.
Then it's just me and Edward left alone. He's being his normal incorrigible self. Laughing, joking, teasing me.
"So you're not in your usual hoodie and jeans garb tonight then?" He asks with a smirk on his face.
"Oh not you too, Alice had a go at me before I left about wearing a cardigan!" I reply, waving my arms in the air.
He throws his head back and barks out a laugh and I join him.
"Well, I think you look beautiful whatever you wear" He says with a twinkle in his eye.
"Aw you're too sweet" I say, before fake gagging. He chuckles looking at me.
As the evening continues and the alcohol keeps flowing, I realise that Edward and I have moved nearer to each other, trying to hear over the noise. Our heads are tilted together and I can smell the whiskey on his breath and the smoke on his shirt. He's making me laugh, telling me about the latest recruits at the hospital, and all the while I can't stop admiring his face. His hair keeps catching the light and every now and again he runs his hands through it, making it stand up haphazardly. His skin is smooth with a few tell-tale signs that he's no longer eighteen, the laugh lines you only see when you're this close to somebody. His mouth is soft and I keep looking at it as he talks and occasionally half-smiles while he regales another story from his work.
Suddenly, I realise he's stopped talking and is instead looking at me, watching me watch him. I pull back slightly, embarrassed to be caught checking him out, but then I realise he's not making fun of me with that typical lopsided smirk of his, he's just looking at me. Really looking at me, like it's the first time he's really seen me. I feel my face warm and my throat goes dry and my stomach feels like there's an army of ants marching in it. His eyes flicker for the briefest of moments to my mouth and then he's leaning back and away from me, looking over my shoulder.
I turn to see what's caught his attention and I see Alice and Jasper walking towards us, fingers linked.
"Hey, Bells, Jasper and I were going to head out."
"Oh ok, I'll just say goodbye to Rose" I say, starting to stand.
"Oh...well, we actually thought we might stop for some ice cream on the way home...you know...to sober up?" Alice replied with a small smile on her face.
"That's okay, I can get Bella home safely" Edward suddenly pipes up from behind me.
"Really? That would be great." says Alice beaming at me.
"Sure, you guys go have fun" I reply, winking at Alice. She blushes and glances up at Jasper who's smiling like the cat that caught the canary.
They both wave as they make their way to the door. I wave back then turn to look at Edward. He's eyeing me again and I can't decide if it's the warmth of the room or the alcohol I've consumed but there seems to be a buzz between us.
"So, do you want to go now?" He replies, his voice sounding grittier than before.
"Yeah sure" I reply, sounding a little breathless even to my own ears.
He gives me that signature smile and stands, holding out his hand to me. I take it, standing too. We say our goodbyes and then head to the door, Edward swaying slightly from the booze and me stumbling in my heels.
As we step outside the cold air hits me, biting into my hot cheeks and ruffling my hair. I wait for Edward while he lights up a cigarette, frowning slightly.
"I know, it's a dirty habit that you hate" he says with a shake of his head.
"We all hate it." I reply. "Why do you do it anyway? You should know it's bad for you, being a doctor an' all."
He looks at me, smiling around the end of his cigarette, the cherry end glowing as he takes a drag.
"Yeah I know it's bad for me, but it releases some stress, plus how else would I keep up my bad boy image?" He says with a wink.
I scoff at him, rolling my eyes, but feeling those ants marching in my stomach again.
We start to walk up the path, me wobbling in my heels. Eventually, Edward takes pity on me and pulls my arm through his.
"Thanks" I whisper.
"My pleasure" He replies, a definite flirt in his tone.
When we get to the top of the road, we try to hail a cab, all driving past us oblivious.
"I'll order us an Uber" Edward says taking out his phone. I nod, rubbing my arms from the cold. I'm starting to realise how much I must have drunk at the party and Edward is swaying slightly too.
"Should be twenty minutes" he says, looking up from his phone once he's done. I nod again, shivering slightly, my hair blowing in my face from the night's breeze.
"You cold?" he asks. Before I can reply he's stepping up to me and wrapping his arms around me. I inhale, smelling his scent stronger than ever. I feel a tingling sensation all over and try to disguise the shiver running through me as the cold.
He hums, resting his head on top of mine. Slowly, he slides his head down the side of mine, his cheek resting the side of my forehead, his breath making my hair tickle me.
"Any better?" His deep voice rumbles.
"A little" I whisper.
"Only a little?" He says, pulling back from me slightly, looking me in the eye.
I smile at him, rolling my eyes.
"Well, I can do better than a little." He winks, his eyes flicking to my mouth and back. For a moment, I feel like he might kiss me, and for a moment I think I want him to. The thought makes my breath hitch. I can feel him breathing against me, the rise and fall of his chest mimicking my own.
Suddenly, I hear a noise, tilting my head to hear it clearer. It's music, coming from Rose and Em's apartment, filtering down to the street where someone's opened a window.
"Dance with me" he says suddenly.
"What?" I laugh. "I don't dance".
"Everyone dances" He insists, his tipsy confidence coming through.
He starts to sway us from side to side, tilting his head back and smiling.
All of sudden he pulls away from me, grabbing my hand and lifting it above my head twirling me. I laugh hard as I spin pricariously in my shoes in front of him.
He chuckles at me and pulls me back into his chest and starts "waltzing" or attempting to on the sidewalk. A couple of people pass us, smiling at our antics with affection. We laugh, continuing to dance for a few minutes. When I stumble into him a few moments later my breathing is elevated and I can hear his is too. His arms wrap around my waist again and I glance up into his eyes. They're clear and wide giving him a boyish look. The streetlight we're standing under like our own personal stage light.
I catch his eyes glancing down at my chest as it rises and falls rapidly under my breathing. He's so close to me and I've never felt like this with Edward.
Suddenly he jumps, pulling back from me. He smiles sheepishly and takes his phone from his pocket.
"Uber is here" He says gruffly.
"Oh...Yeah" I stammer, turning to look for the car.
We both slide in once we find it and we drive off into the night. The energy between Edward and I feels electric, the dark of the cab enhancing what I felt moments before. I try to shake it off, convincing myself that it's just Edward's flirty nature and me having had too much to drink. However, by the time we've reached my apartment, I can still feel the ants in my stomach and the burn from his gaze in the dark.
"Do you want to come up?" I ask, surprising even myself. "For a coffee?"
Edward looks surprised but not unhappy.
"Sure, that would be great". We both get out and head towards my apartment building, taking the lift to the third floor. I struggle to find my keys in my purse, my mind preoccupied by Edward's proximity and the fact that we're going to be alone in my apartment. I don't think that's ever happened before. I finally find them and get them in the keyhole, swinging the door open.
"So...coffee?" I ask, wringing my hands suddenly feeling nervous.
"Sure" He replies, his lopsided grin back in place.
"Why don't you go sit in the living room while I make it" I say, anxious to have a moment to myself. He nods and wanders around the corner to the couch. While I set the coffee machine going, I take a moment to collect myself.
Right Bella Swan, pull yourself together. It's just Edward. You've known him for years and you've never had an issue with him before. It's just the alcohol taking effect and making you feel things you shouldn't feel.
I take a few deep breaths before going into the living room with the coffees.
Edward has his head resting on his fist, staring at the wall. He looks up as I walk in, smiling at me.
"Here we go" I say, placing the cups down on the coffee table.
I sit next to him on the couch, the already small space taken up almost entirely by Edward and his splayed legs. My knee is pressed against his but he doesn't move away.
He's staring at me again.
"What?" I ask, feeling a little self-conscious.
"Nothing" He says, continuing to stare at me.
"What!?" I laugh.
"Nothing, nothing. You just...look...really beautiful tonight". He answers, his eyes looking darker than before, his voice suddenly deeper.
"Thanks" I breathe. "So do you". Oh god Bella, you sound retarded.
Edward laughs, shaking his head. I lean in to pick up my coffee cup, desperate to stop saying something else equally dumb. At the same time, Edward reaches for his and we're suddenly closer than we've been all night. My breath catches in my throat. Edward looks at me, his eyes darkening, flickering down to my mouth and back up again.
Suddenly, his mouth is on mine, moving against me. My mind goes blank, unable to process what to do, but thankfully my body knows the way.
Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening.
His large hand comes up to cup my face while his mouth continues to move confidently against my own. My own hands reach up and tangle in his hair, pulling a low groan from him. My insides do a happy dance at the reaction.
Edward leans further into me, the kiss getting more heated and passionate. Eventually, I'm lying on my back, legs off the couch with Edward sprawled on top of me. His hands leave my face and move to either side of my head, keeping his weight off me. I pull away from him, sucking in much-needed air while he continues his kisses, moving down my face to my jawline and neck.
My eyes close at the sensation, unable to deny the feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. He returns to my mouth, teasing his tongue along my lips asking for entrance which I grant him. I moan quietly as his tongue brushes against my own.
He seems to like that noise because suddenly his hands are everywhere, in my hair, cupping my face, moving down my body to the top of my shirt. His large hand cups my breast, running a thumb over my nipple, hardening it instantly. He moves slightly, adjusting his position and I feel him, hard against my hip. I moan again, thrilled that I, Bella Swan, is getting this sort of reaction from him.
I start to move my own hands, the booze giving me a confidence I would never normally have, and drag them from his hair to his shoulders and then down his chest, resting them on his abdomen. I feel his muscles constrict and tense under my touch and he pulls back from the fiery kiss to look me in the eye.
I've never seen him look like this before. The brazen hunger on his face is enough to make me wet if I wasn't already.
"I want you" you grits out, his voice rough and deep. I nod and that seems to be all he needed to know. He stands suddenly pulling me to my feet and grabbing my face, kissing me again. He starts to walk us backward, heading towards what he knows is my bedroom.
My stomach drops straight to my butt, which isn't as unpleasant as it sounds. He pushes me into my bedroom door, fumbling with the knob until it swings open and we stumble through it. He kicks the door shut behind us, continuing to give me the hottest kiss of my existence. I can't get close enough to him. My hands are in his hair and fisting his shirt before the back of my knees hit the bed and I'm falling.
I let out a tiny gasp as Edward falls on top of me, stopping his weight from hitting me by sticking an arm out. I chuckle slightly, Edward joining in before resuming his attack on my mouth, moving down to my neck and then further to the top of my breasts.
I moan into the darkness, my breathing picking up as he moves from one side to the other, lavishing them with attention.
"Fuck you have such nice tits" he growls.
My stomach drops again, never hearing him speak like this before. He starts to pull one side of my shirt down but the body I'm wearing is too tight and won't allow it. He tries again, getting frustrated quickly.
"What is the fucking thing?" He huffs in his attempt to get me out of it.
I chuckle, feeling lightheaded and breathless and overexcited and overwhelmed all at once. He pushes himself off of me and starts to unbutton his shirt, leaving me to take off my own clothes as they're too complicated for him.
I wriggle out of my jeans, Edward's eyes never leaving me, and then push the body down, leaving me in just my bra and undies. Edward kneels before me shirtless in just his Levis.
Fuck me, he's gorgeous.
His chest is heaving and he's looking at me like I'm a meal to a dying man. He swoops down again, capturing my mouth with a groan and slides his hand under my back. With a well-practiced maneuver, my bra is undone. He rips it from my body while my own hands start to undo his button fly.
I've never needed someone so much in my entire life. I feel like I'm going to spontaneously combust. He lifts up slightly helping me get the job done and then I feel his pants loosen, pushing them down his body, using my feet to get them off the rest of the way.
His mouth descends to my nipple, sucking slightly on the sensitive flesh.
I moan loudly, feeling like my body has a mind of its own. He smiles into my skin, my nipples so hard I feel like they could cut diamonds.
He kisses the underside of my breast, moving down my body towards my stomach. My panties get even wetter than before as he continues his descent, nipping and sucking my skin on the way. When he reaches my panties his large hands take the flimsy material on either side of my hips. He looks up at me.
"Can I?" he asks.
I'm touched that he's asking but I think if he doesn't touch me soon I might explode from sexual frustration.
"Please" I say, nodding my head manically.
He smirks up at me, the devil in his eyes and slowly lowers my panties throwing them behind him. He drops his gaze to my naked body and groans.
"Fuck, you're gorgeous baby".
I moan in response. "Edward touch me please" I beg.
He grins and comes back up to my mouth, his finger swiping through my lower lips. I gasp into his mouth at the sensation. He slowly moves his finger up and down, spreading my wetness. He gently circles my clit, driving me mad in the process. I move my head from side to side, my back arching of its own accord. Moans leaving my mouth constantly.
Edward pulls back, looking me in the eye as he slowly pushes a finger into me. I can feel him hard and throbbing against my hip and the rumble of his silent groan.
My eyes roll into the back of my head as he slowly moves his finger in and out of me.
"That's it baby, you feel so good wrapped around my fingers" he says gruffly.
Oh fuck, dirty talk. He's going to be my downfall. I'm going to die. Death by Edward Cullen.
He adds a second finger, gradually increases the pace until I'm panting, begging him for more. Suddenly he touches a spot inside of me that makes me feel like I might cum on the spot.
"Fuck...oh god...right there" I moan, looking at him with wild eyes.
"Right here?" He asks cockily. I nod, begging him to keep going. "You wanna cum baby?"
I nod madly. He better not fucking stop now, I think I'd die, or kill him.
"Good girl. Cum for me". Suddenly my body goes rigid, seized by the hot, white spike of my orgasm rushing through me. I throw my head back moaning, my eyes shut tight at the pleasure of it all. Edward continues to fuck me with his fingers through my orgasm until it eventually subsides.
"Fuck, you're fucking beautiful when you cum" He murmurs, leaning down to kiss me. I kiss him back, trying to breathe in some much-needed air.
Edward moves back from me, rising to his knees once again. In the soft light from the moon and the streetlight outside, I can make out his face. Tousled hair, dark, dangerous eyes and swollen lips from my mouth. His body, toned and smooth. And further down, something that I never in my wildest imaginings thought I'd lay my eyes on. In the dim lighting, I could make out the dark blue of his boxers and the raw outline of his cock, straining against the material.
I moaned at the sight. He started to stroke himself through his boxers.
"You want me baby?" He asks, cockily.
"Yes" I breathe.
He rises from the bed, pushing his boxers down and crawling back towards me. I lean over to my bedside table and pull out a box of condoms that if I'm honest, have not seen the light of day for more time than I would care to admit. Edwards smirks, leaning over to take one and putting it on.
My legs naturally part as he gets closer, lowering himself between them, the head of his cock at my entrance. He bends his head to kiss me, passion flaring up in my stomach once more. My hands twist his hair around my fingers as he slowly pushes into me.
"Fuuuuuck" He groans against my mouth. I echo his sentiments with a long, raspy moan. God, I've never in my life felt this full.
Slowly he starts to move, back and forth, starting a steady rhythm. His head is nestled in the crook of my neck, his heavy breathing in my ear.
I lift my legs, wrapping them around his hips, digging my heels into his ass, feeling it flex as he thrusts into me. The change in angle sends a shiver down my spine but is apparently sublime to Edward as he lets out a tight groan from the back of his throat and picks up the pace.
I moan, loving how he's making me feel.
Suddenly, he lifts himself up from his forearms to his hands, placing one on either side of my head. He stares down at me, eyes blazing.
"Fuck, you feel so good baby" he groans, dropping his head to look down at where we're connected.
"Urgh" he growls, witnessing the view. He picks up the pace even more, thrusting harder and sharper into me. I start to feel my insides flutter, him pushing me closer to that blissful edge. He must feel I'm getting close because he looks up at me, smirking that cocky smile, his hair clinging to the sweat on his forehead.
He hooks an arm under one of my legs and leans forward again, changing the angle slightly and I let out a small squeal at the change in angle. With every thrust, he's hitting that magic spot inside me.
"Oh fuck!" I moan, throwing my head back in pleasure.
"Yes, that's it baby, you gonna cum again for me?" He moans, feeling me tighten around him.
"Yessss" I hiss, unable to move, think or even breathe.
He slams into me harder than before once, twice, three times and then I'm cumming. Spiraling, falling, flying over the edge. I vaguely hear Edward make a surprised yelp as I shake around him and then he's falling on top of me, shaking and groaning, finding his own release.
We lie there, panting heavily for a few moments, trying to regain the use of our limbs. He pulls out and rolls off of me. I'm vaguely aware of Edward getting up to dispose of the condom and to put on his boxers. But my eyes start to feel heavy and my body aches deliciously and before I know it I'm sound asleep.
When I wake in the morning, I'm acutely aware that it is too bright in the room and I'm cold. I crack open one eyelid and instantly regret it. My brain feels like there are hundreds of tiny roadworkers drilling. I groan burying my head in my pillow. As I do I can smell a musky, manly smell.
Suddenly, the memories of last night come flooding back to me. I sit bolt upright, immediately regretting the sudden movement, and peak down at myself. I'm naked. Totally naked.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I slept with Edward. WITH EDWARD. What was I fucking thinking?
Well, you obviously weren't Bella.
Oh shut the fuck up, you're not helping.
Oh god, I've messed everything up. I'll never be able to see him again. It will be too awkward.
What if he doesn't remember? What if he does remember? What if it's the best sex I'm ever going to have and I'll never get to experience it again? What if it's the worst sex he's ever had?
Fuck, I want to die. I want the earth to swallow me whole so I don't have to deal with this.
I'm going to have to leave the city. Move to Phoenix and stay with my crazy mother and her fetus of a boyfriend.
My life is over.
Just as I'm planning to move to Brazil and live with the Amazonians there's a knock at my door.
"Who is it?" I call, my mouth dry and my throat sore.
Oh god, is my throat sore from last night? Did I make any really embarrassing noises?
"Alice?" Alice replies through the door like I've lost my mind, which I have.
"Just a second" I call back, scrambling out of bed and grabbing the nearest clothes I can find. I kick my underwear from the night before under the bed just as Alice opens the door.
She scans the room as if she's going to see something scandalous and then looks at me with a raised eyebrow.
"What?" I ask, my eyes wide, like a deer caught in the headlights.
"Why are you acting weird?" She asks, looking at me curiously.
"Weird? I'm not acting weird. What's weird?" I babble.
She continues to stare at me, while I try to casually lean against the dresser like the world isn't in fact ending for me.
"Okay" she says, still looking skeptical. "I just wanted you to know that the others will be here in half an hour for brunch".
What? No. I cannot see Edward again. Not today. Not ever.
"What? Why?" I ask, looking horrified.
"Because I invited them?" Alice said, looking a little weirded out by my behaviour. "I suggested it to Jasper last night when we went to get ice cream and he thought it was good idea. So, we texted Rose and she agreed and Jasper said he'd tell Edward and I'd tell you." She shrugged like it was no big deal.
Truthfully, it wasn't a big deal. It was something we'd done hundreds of times before. But last night was making it a big deal.
Okay, Bella. Just pull yourself together. You've got to act normal. You don't have time to make a Plan B and Alice will think you need medical attention if you keep acting weirdly.
Medical attention. Edward. Argh.
"Okay." I say, trying to act nonchalant. "Can I help?" I ask.
"Yeah" She says, "you can take a shower". I scowl at her, throwing a pillow at her head. She laughs as she walks out the room.
"By the way, how was the ol' ice cream date with Jasper?" I call after her, momentarily pulled out of my thoughts.
"It was so great, he's so sweet" she said, appearing in my doorway again, a dreamy look in her eye.
"Aww I'm happy for you" I say. And I truly am.
"Thanks" she smiles, skipping away.
I shower, clean my teeth, brush my hair and wash my face. I'm just pulling my navy blue sweater over my head when I hear the buzzer go. My heart pounds and I feel sick for a moment.
Okay, we're going to go out there and act casual. There's nothing wrong with what happened. He probably feels as awkward as you do. Just be a grown-up and deal with it.
I nod at myself in the mirror, then turn and pull open my bedroom door determinedly. Rose and Emmett are there, looking a little worse for wear. They both smile at me, giving me a brief hug. They all start talking animatedly about the party last night while I sit and try to pull my mind away from what happened post-party.
The buzzer sounds again and Alice jumps up.
"I'll get it" she calls. I hear the door open and then low voices chatting. My heart feels like it's going to explode, my breathing picks up and I try to remain calm.
Alice and Jasper come round the corner, smiling and greeting everyone, holding a bag of croissants. Then there are a second pair of footsteps. They get closer until Edward appears around the corner. He smiles at the others, greeting them all. Then his green eyes turn to me, they blaze into my skin, flicking down my body and back up again.
The heat from his gaze warms me from my head to my toes. My skin prickles and my stomach drops down to my butt. His blazing eyes meet mine again, a smirk playing on his lips. Then he winks.
Fuck, what have I done?