Chapter Two
I knew you, hand under my sweatshirt, baby kiss it better
What have I done, what have I done, what have I done...
It's all I can think, all I can feel as his eyes burn into mine. Eventually, he drags his eyes away breaking the spell I'm under. I look around at the others, convinced they're going to have noticed our interaction and how not normal it is, but they're all chatting amongst themselves. Rose and Emmett are sitting on the two small chairs by the window, Alice and Jasper have sat next to each other on our couch, although I'm pretty sure they don't need to be sat that close, which leaves me on the loveseat and Edward having to squeeze in next to me.
Oh god, of all the seats to choose Bella.
"So how are you this morning Bella?" Edward asks in a quiet voice so only I can hear.
"Fine, thank you. Yourself?" I reply, trying to act casual while my stomach feels like it might take flight with the butterflies in it.
"I'm very well. Did you enjoy last night?" He asks. I glance at him sideways, unsure whether he means "last night" generally or "last night" him and me. He looks innocent enough.
Maybe he doesn't remember...
"Er, yes?" It comes out as more of a question than an answer. "Did you?"
"I found it a very pleasurable evening". He chuckles.
Oh, he totally fucking remembers...
I feel my cheeks heating up from his words and my skin starts to prickle as the previous evening's activities come rushing back into my memory.
Us making out on the couch, him pushing me up against the bedroom door, his face when he saw me naked, his hands on my body, his groan as he entered me...
I suddenly feel hot and intoxicated by his proximity.
"You okay there Bells? You look a little flushed?" Emmett's voice breaks through my reverie and I'm pulled back to the here and now with a bump. Everyone's looking at me. Em and Rose look concerned, Jasper looks calm and collected as always, Alice looks weirded out again and Edward looks like he's the cat that got the cream.
"Yes, thank you Emmett, I'm fine. Just a bit warm. Probably the effects of last night" I smile tightly at him.
"Oh, I'm sure it's because of last night" Edward whispers, earning a death glare from me.
"I'll make some more coffee". I say, standing abruptly and almost running into the kitchen.
Once I make it out of the room I lean against the counter breathing heavily.
Fuck, this is worse than I thought. He's making this way harder than it needs to be.
Harder. Edward hard. Thrusting. Gah.
I run some cold water in the sink and splash my face, then turn to the coffee machine turning it on. I'm lost in my own panicked thoughts when I hear a noise behind me. Edward turns the corner and his eyes meet mine, glinting.
"What can I do for you?" I ask, immediately wishing I hadn't opened myself up to an innuendo. A smile tugs at Edward's lips but he somehow manages to restrain his fourteen-year-old brain.
"I came to help you...with the coffee," He says, pointing to the machine behind me.
"Oh...thanks," I say, reaching up to get some mugs from the cabinet above. In my periphery I see Edward place his hands on either side of me on the counter. My breath catches in my throat.
"So Bella, what exactly were you thinking about earlier that made you get all hot and flustered?" He asks, his lips by my ear.
My hands shake, nearly dropping the mugs I'm holding. I hear Edward's quiet chuckle.
"Nothing. As I said, just from the alcohol last night probably." I say, trying to play it off casually but desperately aware of how breathy my voice sounds.
"Oh that's a shame. I thought you might be re-living what happened after the party." Edward says, pulling away from me slightly so that I can move to the machine. "Did you not enjoy yourself?" He asks, a flirt evident in his voice.
Jesus, he's trying to make me say it. Out loud.
"Yes...I had a very pleasant evening." I say after a moment's hesitation.
No point in lying about it. I'm sure it was plainly obvious if my sore throat is anything to go by.
"Pleasant? I found it more than pleasant and by the noises you were making last night" He leans into my ear again, I can feel his hot breath on my neck, "so did you".
My body starts to react to his proximity, his words and I feel like my breathing is elevated.
Am I panting?! God Bella, you're going to sound like a dog in heat!
I turn quickly to move away from him and accidentally splash some of the scalding hot water from the coffee machine onto my wrist.
"Ah!" I squeal, pulling my hand away.
"You ok?" I hear voices shout from the other room.
"Yeah, just burned myself!" I call back, turning to the sink to run it under cold water.
"Let me look" I hear Edward say behind me.
"No, it's fine Edward, just a silly accident," I say, trying hard not to wince too much and berating myself for looking like a clumsy schoolgirl in front of him.
I should have ignored him. Now I'm going to be maimed for life because of my stupid, desperately underused lady parts.
"Just let me look Bella, I am a doctor you know" He says, pulling my wrist from under the tap and turning me around to face him, a small smile playing on his lips.
He bends his head, looking down at my wrist, turning it slightly to see better in the light. I look at him, taking in his face for the first time properly that morning. He looks relaxed in his hoodie and jeans but there are telltale dark circles under his eyes from the previous late night.
Our late night.
Stop! Don't go there.
"I think you'll live," he says, looking up at me with that lopsided smirk. Then he does something that sets my body on fire. He bends his head, keeping his eyes on mine and kisses my wrist, flicking his tongue out to touch my skin briefly.
Suddenly he drops my hand, turning to pour the coffee just as Alice rounds the corner.
"You ok?" She asks, looking at me.
"Yeah" I reply slightly breathlessly.
"Okay, I'll take the coffees then," She says. She picks up three mugs, while Edward takes the other three, walking back into the living room, not even giving me a backward glance.
I collect myself for a second and then return to the room. Everyone has taken their previous seats, leaving me to my fate on the loveseat with Edward.
I gingerly sit next to him, trying to give him as much space as possible without looking like I'm actively avoiding him.
What was that?! The kiss on the wrist. The tongue. The look in his eyes?!
I sip my coffee, enjoying the warm sensation as it goes down my throat, trying to relax on the couch a little.
We all continue chatting for a while and I'm starting to relax and enjoy myself, momentarily forgetting about the liaison with Edward when he moves his arm along the back of the loveseat.
At first, he doesn't do anything out of the ordinary, but then he lightly starts playing with the ends of my hair. I freeze for a moment, panicking that maybe someone else will notice, but the way the furniture is laid out and how our bodies are positioned, his hand is hidden from view.
I chance a glance at him and he's laughing and talking with Emmett, completely unaware of the effect he has on me. I shift slightly in my seat, trying to draw his attention to his actions but he just continues chatting with the guys.
After a couple of minutes, I decide I can't continue to sit there and sit up slightly, leaning forward on the loveseat to speak to Rose. She's telling me about this big project she has coming up at work and how she really wants to make a good impression on her boss, when I feel Edward's arm slip down the back of the chair.
Ever so slowly, I feel Edward run a finger along my hip, just under where my sweatshirt has ridden up slightly. My breath catches and I freeze.
Maybe it was a mistake.
No, there it goes again.
Another swipe of his finger against my hip, this time a little higher, pushing the fabric.
Stroke, stroke, stroke.
I'm struggling to focus on Rose's words and end up just nodding and laughing when Alice does.
God, I hope they don't ask me a question.
I chance another glance over at Edward and he must see my movement out of the corner of his eye. He glances back at me, his eyes darkening slightly. The look reminds me of last night.
I try to pull myself out of my thoughts but I can't move away from him without making it obvious that something has happened. So, I'm left to the torture of Edward slowly stroking my bare skin, from the top of my hip to where my jeans sit.
Just as I'm about to go mad, Emmett announces that he and Rose should probably head off. They still need to clean the apartment up from last night.
Jasper also stands signaling that he's going to take off too.
Thank god, that means Edward will leave as well.
"So Allie and I were just talking, did you all want to come over to our apartment for a movie night? Wednesday maybe?" Jasper asks.
Emmett and Rose look at each other nodding and suggesting they bring some beer for us all. Edward shrugs and says he's up for anything. Oh, I know. And Alice looks so damn happy I can't refuse either.
Edward stands as well, giving me a chance to break away from his tantalizing touches, and starts to stroll towards the door. Jasper grabs his arm as he passes, leaning in to talk to him privately. I see Edward nod and smile at him, nudging his arm.
Then Jasper says a sentence that makes my heart stop.
"So Allie do you want to get some fresh air? I don't have anywhere to be and...just wondered if you fancied a walk or something?" Jazz rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.
Alice beams, her whole face lighting up.
"Yeah absolutely, I was just saying to Bella how warm and stuffy it is in here". She replies. "Wasn't I?" She looks at me expectantly.
What?
"Yeah...yeah...really warm...really stuffy" I reply with a woosh of air.
"Will you be okay getting back Ed?" Jazz asks, looking over at Edward.
"Yeah, yeah, don't you worry about me, I'll order a cab or something. I'll be just fine". He replies, his eyes boring into mine.
Alice runs to get some boots and her jacket and then breezes out the door, almost dancing down the hall with Jasper.
And then, it's just me and Edward, alone in the apartment. With nothing but my heavy breathing for company.
We're silent for a moment, just staring at each other.
"So...do you want me to order you a cab or..." I ask, trying to keep my breathing even and my body temperature normal.
"Yeah" he replies gruffly, his eyes still staring into mine.
I breathe out slowly, moving to get my phone. I call the local cab company, give them the address and am told they'll be twenty minutes.
"Twenty minutes" I say, hanging up and putting my phone back on the table.
He nods, staring at me with dark eyes, leaning against the front door.
"You want another drink or something?" I ask, walking towards the fridge.
"No." Edward says. Suddenly, I'm being pulled into his body. His mouth finds mine, one arm wrapping around my waist, the other hand going to hold the back of my head.
Oh god, he's as good as I remember.
My hands act on their own accord, rising to twist his hair around my fingers, eliciting a deep groan from Edward. That army of ants returns to my stomach just like the night before.
Edward starts walking me backward towards the couch, pushing me back onto it. The kiss turns heated as he moves his body on top of mine. His tongue enters my mouth, moving with my own. I moan into the kiss and then moan louder when I feel Edward, hard against my thigh.
I pull away, desperately needing some air but Edward just continues his assault, moving down my neck, flicking his tongue behind the shell of my ear.
Fuck, that feels really nice.
His large hand comes up to cup my breast and lightly pinch my nipple. I throw my head back and moan.
Edward shifts his body slightly and I unknowingly part my legs, letting him lie more comfortably between them. And then I feel him, right there.
He lets out a deep rumbling groan from his chest when he slightly rubs against me.
He pulls back looking me in the eye and then starts moving his body against my own, rubbing back and forth just where I need him.
God, I haven't dry-humped since I was fifteen.
It feels really good, but our jeans are blocking most of the sensation from either of us. Edward starts pushing slightly harder, his mouth returning to mine, but he finally gets frustrated and moves to his knees. His hands go to the button on my jeans and start tearing it open, my own hands doing the same to him. He leans back down, pushing his hand under the denim of my jeans, moving his fingers closer and closer to where I want them, need them. He touches the outside of my panties, moving them to one side.
BUZZ
We both fly apart, eyes wide, panting hard. After a moment, the buzzer sounds again. Edward groans, dropping his head to my shoulder, then pushing off of me. I quickly rise to my feet, doing the button of my jeans back up. I rush over to the intercom pushing the button.
"Hello?" I say, sounding out of breath and flustered.
"Taxi" replies the voice on the other end.
"Okay, just a minute". I reply, turning to look at Edward. He's still sitting on the couch, jeans undone with his head in his hands.
"Edward? Taxi's here". I say. He scrubs his hand over his face and stands, turning away from me while he does his pants up.
This is so awkward. We need to talk about whatever the fuck is going on here.
"Edward I think we need to have a chat," I say, summoning up the courage to be the adult in the situation.
"Yeah. I'll call you. Tonight?" He asks as he walks over to me, standing by the door.
I nod mutely. He gives me one of his cocky smirks, opens the door, and walks out of my apartment.
Later that afternoon, after I've calmed myself down from my almost-tryst with Edward, Alice returns from her non-date with Jasper. I'm reading in my room when she bounds in, dropping dramatically onto my bed, flopping onto her back with a dreamy smile on her face.
"Hey Alice" I chuckle, looking at my blissed-out friend. Her eyes are boy crush bright and her cheeks high from smiling.
"Hey" She sighs.
"So...how'd it go with ol' lover boy?" I ask, smiling down at her.
"Oh Bella, it was so great. We went for a walk around the park and then he bought me a coffee and a cake at that cute little cafe over the road, you know the one with the fairy lights? It was so perfect. He's just so great." She babbles to me, happily.
"Aw, I'm so happy for you. It all seems to be working out for you both." I say.
"Yeah, I know." Alice grins back. "Do you think he might actually like me?" she suddenly asks, her eyes looking hopeful as she looks up at me from her position at the foot of the bed.
"Well, he gets all doe-eyed when he sees you, sits next to you on the couch, way closer than needed by the way, and then invites you to 'get some air' with him this afternoon...no I don't think he likes you at all". I reply sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
She giggles, her cheeks turning pink. We continue to sit there for a couple of minutes before she gets up and says she's going to start some dinner. I tell her I'll be out in a minute.
I sit on my bed, listening to Alice pottering about in the kitchen, probably making an enormous mess, and think about Edward.
What's his deal?
I shake my head clearing my thoughts and try to work out what I'll say to him when he calls later. Then I decide to do something very un-Bella and wing it, maybe let him take the lead. It was him that started this whole thing off anyway.
The evening passes uneventfully. Alice and I make dinner and then sit together watching TV. Well, I say we, Alice spent most of the evening on her phone, I presume texting Jasper if her smile was anything to go by.
After a couple of hours, she says she's going to head to bed and I agree, giving her a hug and kiss on the cheek goodnight. I go into my room, changing into my pajamas and rubbing off my makeup from the day. I get under the covers, opening my book. I've been reading for about ten minutes when my phone starts buzzing on the table next to me.
Edward, the caller ID reads.
My heart stutters in my chest and I take a deep breath, readying myself for what I'm sure will be an awkward conversation. I press answer.
"Hello?" I say into the receiver.
"Hey Bells, what's up?" Edward's deep voice replies. I can hear shuffling in the background and assume he's moving around in his room.
"Not much, just finished watching TV with Alice. Sounds like she and Jasper had a nice time." I say.
"Yeah, he seemed happy when he got back a few hours ago." Edward says, the shuffling stopping on the other end of the phone.
I sit silently for a minute, wondering if he's going to address the elephant in the room. Neither of us says anything and all I can hear is his steady breathing.
"So..." Edward says, "What did you want to chat about?"
I roll my eyes.
How mature of you Edward, let's just act like this isn't the weirdest thing to ever happen to us.
"Well, I wanted to talk about last night...and earlier..." I say quietly.
"Okay, what about it?" Edward replies.
Is he serious?!
"Well, obviously it was a bit of a surprise what happened..." I say trailing off, trying to keep my voice even.
Is he not affected by this at all?
"Yeah, I guess so". He sighs into the phone.
I wait to see if he says anything else but he says nothing.
"Edward, what is this? What's going on?" I ask with a sigh, fed up with beating around the bush.
"I dunno Bella, does it need to have a name?" Edward replies.
What does that mean?!
"What do you mean?" I ask, frowning slightly into the phone.
"Well...I had a good time last night and I think you did too" he chuckles slightly into the phone. I roll my eyes, my cheeks heating up slightly.
"Look, from where I stand, neither of us are in a relationship so if we want to...fill a hole for each other...who is it hurting?" He asks, sighing slightly into the phone. "No pun intended" he adds with a chuckle.
I stay silent for a moment, thinking over his words.
"It would ruin our friendship, Edward..." I sigh. Part of me is shocked Edward is even suggesting that we have a friend with benefits style arrangement. Another part of me is disappointed it wouldn't work.
"Why? We've been friends for years, the fact that we're both getting a...release...from one another doesn't have to change that." He says, his voice going deeper. "Didn't you enjoy yourself earlier Bella? Didn't you want me to touch you before we were interrupted?" He asks, his voice getting grittier on the other end of the phone.
I feel my skin start to tingle and get the impression that the conversation has changed direction all of a sudden.
"Yes" I breathe after hesitating for a moment. Despite all my best efforts, I can't deny the fact that I want him, want the way he makes me feel, want to feel that way again.
"Hmm" Edward sighs down the phone, making my body heat up. "I did too" he says.
"Edward...I don't know what I'm doing" I admit quietly, after another moment of silence.
"You're not doing anything. Your Bella and I'm Edward and if something happens then something happens. I'm here if you need a release and vice versa. If we meet someone or want to stop then we stop. No big deal. No hard feelings".
I can almost hear his shrug through the phone. He makes it all sound so simple. Maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea? I mean, as he says, neither of us are in a relationship and if we met someone important we would just call it off. No big deal...right?
"Okay." I hear myself saying.
"Okay" I hear him smile into the phone.
"What do we say to the others?" I ask.
"Nothing. It's between you and me. No one else needs to know. It will just make things more complicated and this way things won't get weird". He reasons.
I nod. I guess that makes sense. Alice and Rose would think it was a horrible idea as well as wanting all the gory details. Also, this way if, or more likely, when we did end up calling it off, there wouldn't be any awkwardness in the group.
"Okay" I agree.
"Okay. Look I'm going to go, I've got an early start tomorrow." He says, yawning slightly.
"Yeah okay, I'll see you on Wednesday then, for the movie night." I reply.
"Yeah okay, see you then Bella. Night."
"Night" I say, hanging up the phone.
I turn onto my side, put my phone back down on the nightstand and turn off the light. In the darkness of the room, I think over what Edward said. What was wrong with us having some fun together? There was obviously an attraction between us and as he said, we'd both enjoyed the night we'd had, but was she really going to do this? Be friends with benefits...with Edward?
As my eyes grew heavy and my breathing evened out, one last thought entered my mind before sleep overtook me.
Edward Cullen is going to be my downfall.