Chapter Thirteen
I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired,
And you be standing in my front porch light
I leave Forks with my dad's voice ringing in my ears.
What if he does, what if he does, what if he does
I haven't decided what to do yet but I know I can't hide out in Forks forever. I catch the train back to Seattle, leaning back in my seat and watch as trees and green turn to towers and city lights. The journey passes slowly and it gives me time to think.
How should I approach things with Edward?
Should I see him or still keep him at arm's length?
What should I say if I do see him?
What will he say?
I sigh and feel my stomach churn with the anxiety of the unknown. I push the thoughts from my mind, turning my phone back on. There are a number of messages waiting to be read after my weekend of radio silence.
There are a few from Alice and Rose but my eyes immediately fall to Edward's name. I take a deep breath and click on the message.
I miss you. Please come back - E
Three words but they immediately make my traitorous heart leap.
I miss you too
When I arrive in Seattle, the lights are glittering and I can almost feel the pulse of the city matching my own. I take a cab to the apartment, taking the lift to my floor. As I exit the lift I see a figure outside my apartment door, illuminated by the light above it. I walk nearer, quietly. It's Edward, he's sat on the floor wearing tracksuit bottoms and a hoodie. His hair is a mess and I can see dark circles under his eyes. His knees are tucked up and his arms are crossed over his chest.
My heart feels like it could burst and break just from seeing him.
He's more beautiful than I remembered.
I quietly unlock the front door, keeping one eye on Edward at all times. I place my bags down in the hallway. Alice must hear me come in because she suddenly appears from her bedroom, a small smile on her face.
I turn to look at her wide-eyes and then put a finger to my lips. She raises an eyebrow but then looks behind me seeing Edward.
"What is he doing here?" I ask, my voice a whisper.
"I didn't know he was" She whispers back. "He came over this morning and wanted to wait for you. I gave him two coffees but by the third I told him I would let him know when you were back and if you wanted to talk. He said he'd wait outside until you arrived. I didn't think he was serious." She says quietly. "He must have been here all afternoon."
He's been here all-day
He wants to talk to me
He didn't leave
"It's kinda cute actually" she says with a bit of a smile.
I can't help but smile back slightly before berating myself immediately.
I peek back at Edward.
"So….whatcha gonna do?" Alice whispers.
I sigh quietly before turning to look at her.
"I'm gonna hear him out" I say quietly. Alice nods, smiling a little at me.
"I'll give you two some privacy" she says before slipping away back to her room.
I take a deep breath and steel myself before turning around and walking quietly over to where Edward sits. I bend down slightly and touch Edward's shoulder.
"Edward?" I say quietly, anxious not to scare him.
Nothing.
"Edward?" I say a little louder.
He moves slightly, moaning a little before his eyes flutter open. He turns his head and his piercing green eyes land on mine. He has dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep and there's a pained expression behind the forest green.
"Bella" He says, his eyes widening as he sits up quickly.
"Bella, you came back." Edward voice comes out in a breath as if he hasn't breathed easily for days.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry Bella, I never meant to hurt you. I've been such an idiot and I know I can never make it up to you but I swear, swear on anything you want that I never ever intended for anything like that to happen with Tanya. There was never anyone else, never-" Edward speaks so fast I have trouble understanding him.
"Edward...slow down" I say quietly.
"Sorry." He says, gulping. "I just...don't want you to go before I have a chance to tell you."
"I'm not going anywhere Edward….I live here". I say, trying to calm myself down too.
"Right….right" Edward says.
"Why don't you come into the apartment." I say quietly before I change my mind.
He nods, standing up quickly and shuffling into the flat behind me. We walk into the living room and he sits on the couch. I take the seat opposite him knowing that if I sit too close I won't be able to control myself.
"Why don't you say what you want to say Edward. I'm listening" I reply, keeping my voice level and forcing my eyes to remain on his.
Edward nods enthusiastically, running his hand through his hair.
"Bella…..I am so sorry...for everything, for anything I've done to hurt you. I want you to know that it was never my intention." He pauses for a moment. I remain completely still, refusing to react.
"When I met Tanya at Rose's benefit I was genuinely trying to be nice and polite to her because she's one of Rose's colleagues and for all I knew, her friend. Yes, I saw the way she looked at me but I knew I didn't feel any attraction to her in the slightest so didn't think it would be a problem. I know now that I should have made it clear to Tanya that I was seeing someone, you. Although if Rose's comments are anything to go by that may not have made a difference from Tanya's point of view. But I also couldn't make it obvious that I was seeing you without the others noticing what was going on between us."
I nod a little before he continues.
I suppose that makes sense. He was being polite. We didn't know how Rose felt at the time and he couldn't make it clear without revealing me….his secret.
"When she put herself between you and me at the party, I wanted nothing more than to tell her to fuck off but I didn't want to be rude or ruin the night."
"You looked like you were enjoying her company." I say quietly, "You were laughing at things she said…"
"Bella, have you never faked laugh before?" He asks, his eyes boring into mine. "I laughed because she was trying to be funny and she worked with Rose and we were there to support her, not be rude to her colleagues and tell them to go fuck themselves.
I sigh and nod again. I guess I might have done the same if the roles were reversed.
"I knew I wasn't enjoying her company and I thought that was enough. When she insisted that we dance I was going to say no but then you said you were fine standing alone."
I did say that.
"I kept glancing over at you to make sure you were alright but then suddenly you were gone. I told Tanya I needed to check on you but when I realised you'd gone into the ladies bathroom I couldn't exactly follow you in." Edward continues
"I went and got Rose and she said she'd make sure you were okay. When you came out your face was so...blank. I'd never seen you look at me like that. Your eyes are normally warm and your cheeks pink and…." Edward trails off, dropping his head, his own cheeks blushing a little.
"She gave you her number" I say quietly. Edward's eyes flash to mine. "I saw her put a piece of paper in your pocket when she….when she kissed you goodbye. You nodded and smiled at her." I try to ignore the hurt I can hear in my own voice.
"That wasn't her number Bella." Edward says strongly. "It was the slip for the skateboard I'd bought. I'd dropped it putting my jacket on when we left the table."
His auction slip…
All this time I thought he'd been planning to meet her….
"On the car ride back to your apartment you were so quiet, so distant."
"You said you'd had a good time with Tanya though...at the party." I say.
"No I didn't. I said I'd had a good night and I had. I'd hung out with my friends and bought Tommie's mom a skateboard and seen you." His eyes bore into mine. I feel my cheeks warm.
"You looked so beautiful in that dress. I'd never seen anyone look like that in my entire life." He whispers looking down at his hands.
I feel my breath catch at his admission.
"When you didn't message me the following week, I couldn't understand what had happened. To be honest, I'd forgotten about Tanya the moment I got in that cab to take you and Alice home that night. When I finally decided to ask if you wanted to come over, I didn't mean for sex, I just meant….I wanted to see you, hang out with you, be with you. When you agreed I had so many nurses make fun of me at work for smiling like a fucking goof." He says, letting out a small laugh.
I can't help the small smile I feel on my face.
"But we did have sex" I say, remembering the evening.
"We did, but you started it" he says, a faint glint in his eye.
Oh yeah.
"I'd never seen you like that. Never felt anything like that. I thought I was going to implode from it. You were everywhere...all over me." He says, his voice going deeper.
Despite myself, I squeeze my legs at the memory.
"Then it all turned to shit" he says, clearing his throat slightly.
"You invited Tanya to the movie". I say, my eyes finding his again.
"I know, that was so fucking stupid but she took me by surprise in the grocery store and she was obviously waiting to be asked and I thought she was friends with Rose. I didn't want to be rude but...I should have just been fucking rude Bella." He sighs, dropping his head.
"I should have been fucking rude in the grocery store and I should have been fucking rude when she sat next to me on the couch." His eyes meet mine again.
"I hated it when she sat next to me and not you. I hated seeing that you were sad because of it. I hated watching that fucking stupid Christmas movie and not having you beside me to tease and touch and laugh with" he says.
"When I asked if you wanted a drink you didn't even look at me. I had to go hide in the bathroom to calm down." He insists.
"But then you kissed Tanya" I whisper, feeling tears prick my eyes and willing them away.
"I didn't mean to" he says. I look at him like he's nuts.
"I know that sounds ridiculous but it's true. I was pouring the drinks in the kitchen and I felt two hands on my waist and then a mouth kissing along my shoulders. I thought it was you Bella! That you had found it as hard to be away from me as I had from you. I didn't even think about it when I turned around and kissed the person behind me." He implores.
"I was just desperate to...feel you. To hold you. As soon as I kissed her I knew it wasn't you. I know exactly how you kiss, how you feel under my hands, how you taste. It wasn't you. But then I heard a gasp and when I opened my eyes you were standing there. Your face all wide-eyed and hurt. I wanted to tell you, wanted to explain but you ran back into the other room."
"I came after you and tried to get you to look at me but you wouldn't. Then you practically ran out of the flat as soon as the movie ended. I ran after you to try and explain but you were already gone. Rose caught up with me and told me to let you go, to leave whatever had happened until the morning. I tried to argue with her but she said you needed some time and that she would follow you back to your apartment to speak to you. She seemed so sure, I agreed."
I'm silent, waiting for him to continue.
"I've never been so fucking pissed off in my life. I went back to the apartment and told Tanya in no uncertain terms that I wasn't available, wasn't for sale. I put her in a cab and I haven't seen or heard from her since."
"I tried calling and calling and then text but you didn't reply. Well, you did, eventually, saying you needed time to think."
"I couldn't leave it though so I came over to see you first thing the following morning but Alice said you'd gone. Gone to see your dad in Forks. It felt like you'd torn my guts out Bella."
We're silent for a moment.
"You kept me a secret though Edward, even when everything with Tanya was happening…"
He looks at me, his eyes pained.
"You kept me one too." He whispers "I might have suggested that we keep things quiet in the beginning but that first afternoon you came over, you agreed. You never said that you were with me either Bella". He implores me.
"Was I with you?" I whisper. "Or was I just seeing you?"
"I can't tell you that Bells. But all I know is that it hasn't been just sex for me for a long time."
I feel my heartbeat double-time and the butterflies start fluttering in my stomach. Edward looks at me, his eyes wide and true.
"Can you forgive me Bella?" He asks quietly.
I'm silent as I think.
Edward was right. He might have suggested the secrecy but I agreed to it and I never told anyone about him either.
Yes, maybe Edward should have made it clear to Tanya that he was seeing me but I could have too.
Like my dad said, he's been an idiot as far as being polite to Tanya goes, but I can understand his side and maybe if the roles had been reversed I would have done the same.
And he's here. He's been here all night waiting. And he feels...something for me.
"Bella?" I hear Edward whisper, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"I think so" I reply quietly. He lets out a breath he's been holding. "But I don't want to go back to how things were." I say.
Edward nods enthusiastically, his eyes wide as they stare into mine.
"Of course" He replies.
"I don't want to be a secret. I don't want it to be that we only see each other when no one else is around. I don't want to be the person you come to when you just need a release" I say firmly.
"No I agree" Edward replies. "Bella, I want to start again. I want to get to know you all over again and do it the right way this time."
I nod a little before he continues.
"I want to hang out with you and go to lunch and take you to the movies and cook for you and hold your hand when people can see. I want to pick you up from work and send you flowers and big fuck off balloons on your birthday. I want to know how you got every scar and what your favourite movies are. I want Rose and Alice to know embarrassing things about me because you tell them about it and I want Emmett and Jasper to make my life hell because they think I'm a pussy around you."
My eyes fill with tears and I laugh a little. Edward smiles softly at me, his eyes glistening.
"Bella I want to do it all because I really care about you. I want a proper relationship or at least the opportunity of one."
"I really care about you too" I whisper. He gives me a breathtaking smile. "But let's go slow yeah? We got into this mess because we jumped the gun." I reason. Edward nods.
"What if I planned a new movie night, a do-over I guess, with no red harpies in attendance? We could all hang out as a group and watch whatever Christmas movie you want. I'll even buy you Christmas-infused Baileys."
I smile a little, biting my lip.
"Okay" I say.
"Okay" Edward says with a smile. We stare at each other for a long minute before Edward stands.
"I guess I should let you get to bed." He says. I nod and walk him to the door.
"Thank you for hearing me out Bella." Edward says as we reach the door. I nod and smile at him.
God, I want to kiss him.
Not yet. Too soon.
"Can I er...can I give you a hug?" Edward asks sheepishly.
"Yeah" I reply. Edward opens his arms and I step into the embrace, wrapping my arms around his middle. I feel his strong body under mine and his body heat warms my insides. I feel his arms wrap around me and pull me in closer, his head rests on mine and I feel him take a deep breath, inhaling my scent. He hums a little.
"I really missed you Bells" he whispers.
"I missed you too" I whisper back.
He pulls away and smiles at me before heading out the door.
"I'll text you about the movie night. Think about what you want to watch" he says to me.
"Okay" I reply, watching him walk down the hallway and wave to me before getting in the lift. I close the door and lean against it feeling lighter than I have done in months.
He cares about me. Really cares about me.
And he's going to try and prove it.
"I take it went well if your smile is anything to go by" I hear Alice's voice say. She's standing in her doorway, grinning at me.
"Yeah. It went well." I whisper, walking towards my room.
"Bella Swan you come back here and tell me everything!" Alice squeals, chasing after me, making me laugh.
She dives onto my bed as I close my bedroom door. And I do. I tell her everything.
The following morning I wake up to a text from Edward.
*Bella's Movie Night*
Hey guys. Bella and I have had a talk and we would like to invite you to a do-over movie night with Bella's choice of Christmas movie. It will be held at my apartment tomorrow evening at 7pm. Pizza and beer will be provided. - E
I laugh lightly.
God he's such a dork.
Hey Edward. Sounds good to me. - B
Hey, I'm in too! - A
Us too! - R
And me - J
I smile as I look at my phone.
One question Edward. How come you're suddenly up for a Christmas movie when you were so fucking against it before? - A
Because Bella wants to watch one. - E
Awwww - R
AWWWWWW - A
Fucking whipped man - Em
I concur - J
Fuck off guys - E
I feel like my smile is a mile wide as I read the messages. He's doing it. He's letting Alice and Rose embarrass him and letting Emmett and Jazz call him a pussy.
Suddenly my bedroom door flies open and Alice stands there practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.
"SO. FUCKING. CUTE" she squeals. I laugh a little and try to bring my heart rate down.
She jumps on the end of my bed and continues to text in the group chat. I feel starlight high.
After a few moments, my phone buzzes with a new message.
Good morning. I wondered if you would like to go grocery shopping with me tonight to get some snacks for tomorrow. - E
I smile at the message.
He really is doing a do-over.
Sure. That would be good. - B
Great! I'll come and pick you up at about five? - E
Perfect - B
"Aww you texting Edward?" Alice asks me, a glint in her eye.
"Shut up Allie. We're going to go snack shopping for the movie tonight" I reply, sticking my tongue out at her.
"Aw you guys are adorable." Alice says.
The day passes easily. I lie in bed until the late morning, texting Edward and chatting to Alice. By late morning I get up and take a leisurely shower before doing some laundry and calling my dad.
He asks about Edward and I tell him what happened the night before and our plans for the following day.
"Looks like he's gonna try and prove it Bells" Charlie says just before we say our goodbyes.
By early evening, I'm getting ready to head to the grocery store with Edward. I'm so excited I feel like my insides are trying to do a happy dance. I put on a pair of jeans, a soft cream sweater and some boots. I brush my hair and apply some light makeup. I'm just spraying some perfume when I hear a knock on the door.
I hear Alice answer it just as I'm grabbing my purse. I walk out the door just as I hear her say, "Hello lover boy". I laugh a little at her as I make my way to the door.
My eyes meet Edward's. He's wearing dark jeans and a thick grey jumper with a rolled collar. His face lights up when he sees me.
"Hey" He says, his voice coming out in a breath.
"Hey" I say back, smiling up at him. He looks at me for a moment before we hear Alice clear her throat slightly.
"Er..you ready to go?" He asks, moving to one side to let me pass.
"Yeah" I reply. Alice tells us to have a nice time and closes the door behind us, leaving us alone. We walk to the lift, Edward pressing the button, before it arrives and we step in.
"So you still up for grocery shopping with me?" He asks, his eyes flashing to mine.
"Yeah. I am if you are." I reply, smiling at him. He nods, his eyes not leaving mine.
"You look really beautiful by the way" He says quietly. I feel my cheeks heat.
"Thanks. You look pretty good too" I reply, just as the doors slide open. Edward gives me a lopsided grin and ushers me out of the lift, walking across the lobby before hailing a cab. He opens the door letting me slide in first.
"After you" He says quietly, before joining me in the backseat.
It feels weird being out with Edward and people knowing about it. I've been so used to not showing any emotion around him, not giving anything away that when he looks over and smiles at me softly, it almost takes my breath away.
We arrive at the grocery store and both get out of the cab, Edward paying the driver. He walks over to the front of the store and grabs a cart before we both walk through the sliding doors.
"So...what shall we get first?" He asks. He looks so relaxed. So...domestic.
"Er, drinks?" I ask. He nods and follows me, pushing the cart. Edward picks up some beers for the boys and I choose the wine we girls drink. Before I put it in the cart, Edward takes it from me.
"What?" I ask him.
"I just wanted to know what it was called...so I know what you like for next time." He says quietly, before placing the item in the cart. I feel my heart skip a little at the gesture.
He wants to get to know me.
We continue down the aisle, Edward scanning the shelves until he smiles a little and grabs some Christmas-infused Baileys.
"Gotta have some of this right?" He says, giving me a grin. I smile back at him. "Where to now?" He asks.
"Snacks" I smile.
"Snacks it is" He says, pushing the cart behind me. We choose a selection of sweet and savory, Edward letting me get whatever I want. When we decide that we're done, we head to the checkout.
I help Edward unload the cart onto the checkout, waiting to hear Tanya's sickly voice the entire time. It never comes. When all our items are on the checkout, Edward turns to smile at me. I can't help my smile back.
Edward pays for our purchases and the woman on the checkout bags them up for us before we head out of the store.
"So what now?" I ask Edward, unsure whether he's going to take me home immediately or suggest we do something else.
"Um..well I wondered if you wanted to get a coffee with me?" Edward asks. "No pressure though" he adds quickly.
"No that would be nice Edward" I say with a smile. He beams at me. He suggests we go to a small coffee shop a short walk away and I agree.
As we walk, I see Edward keeps glancing at me from the corner of his eye. I turn to look at the Christmas lights and shop windows. They all seem to glisten more than before.
Suddenly, I feel Edward grab my hand in his, sliding his fingers between mine. I look up at him, my eyes slightly wide.
"Is this okay?" He asks, his eyes wide and nervous.
"Yeah" I reply, smiling as he holds my hand firmer.
We walk, holding hands, in public, until we reach the coffee shop. Edward opens the door for me and then orders us two cappuccinos.
"Do you want a cake Bella?" He asks when he sees me eyeing them behind the glass.
"Oh er..." I look up, blushing a little at being caught.
"Which one do you fancy?" He asks, a soft smile on his face, standing close to me. I can smell his aftershave.
"Um...the carrot cake" I reply. He orders two pieces of carrot cake and then carries the tray over to a table by the window for us. He hands me a slice of cake and then my coffee, tucking our shopping bag below the table.
I smile at him as he sips his coffee, taking a bite of my cake.
"Mmm" I moan, "this is delicious".
I see Edward's eyes darken a little but he shakes his head slightly before smiling at me. He takes a bite of his own, humming his agreement. We eat and drink in silence for a while. I look over at Edward and he seems nervous, an emotion not often attributed to him.
"Edward, what's wrong?" I ask quietly, his eyes flashing to mine.
"Nothing" He says, rubbing his hands on his jeans slightly.
"You seem...anxious" I say, putting my fork down and looking at him. He stares back at me for a moment before letting out a huff of air.
"God, this is kind of embarrassing but...I don't really know what to do...with this" He says, gesturing between us.
"What do you mean?" I feel my stomach lurch.
Has he had enough of me already?
"I mean...I've never really done the whole...dating thing. I've never taken a girl out and just got to know her. I've never had someone...important before." He answers, his eyes looking anywhere but at me. "I don't really know what I'm doing Bella".
I hear my dad's voice echo in my mind.
Part of growing up is realising that no one knows what they're doing either.
"Edward, you don't have to do anything in particular. Just be yourself." I reply gently.
"But...I don't want to rush you or freak you out by flirting or whatever. I don't want to ruin this or-" I interrupt him before this can spiral out of control.
"Edward. You're not going to freak me out. I do know you, flirts and all. And as far as rushing me goes, I promise to say if I feel like you're pressuring me, okay?" I say to him, taking his hand in mine to stop him jiggling up and down.
He lets out a slow breath and gives me a nod, his fingers wrapping around mine.
"Okay" he says. He picks up his coffee cup and takes a long sip, his hand never letting go of mine.
"Besides" I say, squeezing his hand softly, "I like you as you are" I say boldly. Edward's eyes flash to mine and shine with something I can't name. He smiles at me a little, his cheeks tinging pink.
"Are you blushing Edward?" I tease, trying to make him relax.
"Fuck off B" He says with a laugh. I laugh loudly at him. "Don't tell the others" He replies with a wink.
There he is.
The rest of our time together, Edward seems to relax a little. He tells me about Jazz's reaction to the group chat this morning and how Emmett was sending him messages ripping the shit out of him. I can't help but laugh at him. He asks me about Forks and my dad, wanting to know everything I did while I was away.
"So what are you doing for Christmas if you're not with your dad?" He asks me.
"Oh, well Alice and I are going to be together this year. Obviously, my dad is working and her parents have decided to go on a cruise so.." I reply with a shrug. "What about you?" I ask.
"I'm going to be with my parents" He replies.
"They live fairly close by right?" I ask.
"Yeah about an hour" He says, sipping his coffee. "I think we're all going to be back for the new year though," Edward says, referring Jazz, Emmett and Rose.
"Yeah" I reply, "We should spend it all together". I say smiling at him.
"Maybe we could plan something," Edward says.
"Leave it to Alice," I say, laughing lightly as he rolls his eyes.
When we finally decide to head home, Edward hails a cab and holds my hand the whole ride back, rubbing his thumb in soothing circles on the back of my knuckles. I bite my cheek to hide a smile.
He walks me up to my door and waits for me to unlock it. As I push it open and walk in, I see a note written by Alice on the kitchen table.
Bells,
Gone out with Jasper for a couple of hours. Be back soon. Didn't want to interrupt your grocery store date.
A x
"Alice is out with Jasper" I say to Edward as he follows me into the kitchen. I hear him put our bag of purchases down on the table next to me as I turn around.
"Oh right" Edward says, his eyes meeting mine. I feel a shift in the air.
"Would you like a beer?" I ask quietly.
"Sure" Edward replies.
I walk over to the fridge and grab two bottles before tilting my head towards the living room. I sit down on the couch, Edward sitting next to me. I hand him a bottle and he smiles gratefully. We both pop the caps and take a long drag.
"So...you decided what movie we're watching tomorrow night?" Edward asks quietly.
"Um...I'm not sure. I'm torn between The Christmas Chronicles and The Santa Clause" I reply, feeling my cheeks warm a little.
Edward nods, smiling softly.
"I've never seen The Christmas Chronicles" He replies, sipping his beer.
"Really?" I ask, turning to look at him. "It's really good. It's about two children who have lost their dad and then on Christmas Eve night they hear Santa on the roof and try to take a video of him, but he ends up crashing the sleigh and they have to help save Christmas." I ramble.
Edward's eyes twinkle as he looks at me, a small smile playing on his lips.
"What?" I ask.
"Nothing" he says, laughing a little.
"What?!" I ask again, laughing with him.
"Emmett's right. I am fucking whipped." he replies, shaking his head and taking a long swig of his beer. I laugh in surprise at him and his eyes meet mine, shining.
"What because you've finally admitted to wanting to host a Christmas movie night?" I ask.
"No, because even though I couldn't care less about Christmas movies, hearing you talk about them makes me want to watch them all." He says, his eyes boring into mine, a lopsided grin on his face. I feel my breath catch a little at his honesty.
We're silent for a long time just looking at each other. Suddenly, we hear the front door open. Edward looks away and quickly finishes his beer.
"Hey Bells" Alice calls. "Oh, hey Edward" She says when she sees him sitting on the couch. "I'm gonna make some dinner, do you want some?" She asks.
"Sure Alice." I reply.
"Edward?" She asks.
"Er, no I'm gonna head off, thanks though." He says. I can't help but feel a small stab of disappointment. He stands and I follow him as he makes his way to the door, collecting our purchases.
"Are you sure you don't want to stay for something to eat?" I ask as he stands in the hallway, Alice disappearing to give us some privacy.
"No er...I think I should go" Edward replies. I nod my head a little. "It's not that I don't want to but...I'm finding it hard enough to be around you without touching you already." He whispers, smirking at me. I blush and look down.
Oh he's definitely finding it hard at the moment.
"Bells" He says, drawing my eyes back up to his, "if you keep looking at me like that I might not be able to restrain myself."
I look at him and his eyes are dark. I nod a little. He's right. It's too soon for that.
"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow night." He says. He turns to walk away but then hesitates before turning back and leaning towards me. My breath catches in my throat as he leans in and gives me a small kiss on the cheek.
"Bye Bells" He says, giving me a wink, before turning and walking down the hallway, and stepping into the lift with a wave.
When tomorrow night finally rolls around I'm so excited I could burst. I feel like my insides have been dancing all day. I take my time getting ready when the evening finally rolls around. I take a leisurely shower before blowdrying my hair and curling it lightly. I dress in a pair of thick tights, a midnight blue shirt dress and my heeled boots before applying some light makeup and a spray of my favourite perfume.
When I leave my room Alice is waiting for me in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, probably texting Jasper.
"You look really pretty Bells" she says when she looks up at me.
"Thanks Alice" I reply, feeling my cheeks turn rosy.
"You ready to go?" She asks me, grabbing her purse.
"Yeah" I say, putting on my coat and grabbing my own purse.
We lock up and head down to the lobby in the lift before Alice hails a cab. We slide into the backseat. I look out the window watching the bright lights fly past. I smooth the skirt of my dress anxiously.
Before I know it we're pulling up in front of Edward and Jasper's apartment. We climb out of the cab and pay the driver before heading into the lobby and taking the lift to the boys' floor. As we walk down the hall I feel my stomach fill with butterflies. Alice knocks on the door lightly and turns to face me as I tap my heel nervously.
"He'll think you're beautiful" she says softly. I smile at her, thinking back to when I said the same words to her all those months ago. Suddenly, the door opens and Edward is there. He smiles at Alice before his eyes find mine.
"Hey" he breathes.
"Hey" I breathe back.
He steps back to let Alice and me into the apartment. Alice scoots past and disappears to find Jasper. Edward looks at me, his eyes dropping down my body taking in my appearance. I feel my skin prickle.
"You look...lovely Bella" He says, his eyes rising back up to meet mine.
"Thanks" I reply quietly, feeling my blush rise in my face.
He continues to stare at me for a moment before leaning in and giving me a soft kiss on the cheek. Suddenly, he pulls back, his eyes wary.
"Is it okay for me to do that?" He asks.
"Yeah Edward. You can do that whenever you want" I say to him, giving him my own smirk for once.
Edward grins at me before asking if he can take my coat. I nod, slipping out of it and watching as he hangs it on the hook in the hall. He then walks into the kitchen, me following close behind. When I enter the kitchen I see Emmett and Rose are already here.
"Hey guys" I say when I see them all.
"Hey Bells" They all reply, smiling at me.
"Good to have you back" Rose says quietly, nudging me in the arm slightly. I smile at her. She winks.
"So ladies, what can I get you to drink?" Edward asks, turning to face us, rubbing his hands together slightly.
"I'll have a glass of wine please" I say. Alice says she'll have one too.
Edward nods before turning to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of wine. He pops the cork and pours two glasses. He hands one to Alice before passing the other to me. I sip the wine, humming slightly. I see Edward watching me.
"Wanna try it?" I ask, holding the glass out to him.
"Yeah, sure" he says, smiling at me slightly. He sniffs it first, giving me a wink when I chuckle before taking a small sip.
"Not bad" he says before handing the glass back. I roll my eyes at him but he just pulls me into his side slightly. I look back at the others and they're all staring at us, Emmett with his mouth hanging open.
"What?" Edward and I both say at the same time.
"This is the fucking weirdest thing I have ever seen" says Emmett. Rose slaps him. "I didn't mean it in a bad way it's just...I've never seen Ed with anyone before being all...lovey and stuff." he says, keeping one eye on Rose.
I laugh lightly, while Edward rolls his eyes.
"Fuck off Em" He says, before walking into the living room and opening the few pizza boxes on the coffee table.
We all follow after him chuckling, Alice and Jasper sitting on the floor, Rose and Em taking the couch and leaving Edward and I the smaller sofa. I sit down next to him, my body pressing against his side in the small space.
"So what are we watching Bells?" He asks me, grabbing the remote.
"The Christmas Chronicles I think" I reply, smiling at him. He smiles back, nodding. He selects the film before leaning over and turning the lights off. The movie starts and I lean back in my seat, nursing my wine. After a few minutes, I feel Edward grab my hand before moving it to rest on top of his on his thigh. I look over at him and smile in the darkness. He smiles back, his eyes twinkling. We watch the movie for a while before I lean over to him.
"So what do you think so far?" I whisper. Edward looks over at me and smirks.
"It's quite good" he concedes, making me laugh lightly. "Just don't-"
"tell the others. I know" I say to him, feeling him chuckle against my side.
After a while, I tuck my legs under myself and find myself leaning into him more, taking comfort in his body heat and his steady breathing. He lets go of my hand and moves his arm to the back of the sofa, making me fall into him even more and wraps his arm around my shoulders, rubbing the backs of his fingers against my arm. I look over at him but he's lost in the movie. I smile a little.
I glance over at the others. They're all watching the movie except Rose who gives me a smirk and wink and Alice who mouths "so cute" to me. I roll my eyes at them both.
We get about three-quarters of the way through the movie before Edward leans over.
"Want a Baileys?" He whispers. I nod smiling at him. He takes my empty wine glass and prises himself off of the small couch. He asks the others, Rose and Alice nodding their heads.
Edward returns a few moments later with three glasses of Baileys. He hands Rose and Alice their glasses before sitting back down next to me and handing me mine. I take a sip. It really is like Christmas in a cup.
"Is it good?" Edward asks quietly.
"Yeah, here, try it" I whisper back, passing him the glass. He takes a sip. Then another.
"That is actually really good" he says, passing the glass back.
"We can share" I say quietly as he puts his arm back around me, tucking me into his side. He smiles at me. I turn back to the movie, breathing in his scent and feeling his heartbeat through his side.
For the rest of the movie, Edward and I remain exactly like that, taking it in turns to sip Baileys from the same glass. It's the best night I've had in months. I feel so...free.
When the movie finally ends, Edward leans over me and flicks the lights back on. We all squint into the brightness.
"So what did you think?" I ask Edward, sitting up slightly.
"It was good" he says, smiling at me, leaning on his knees. I smile back at him.
"So fuckin' whipped" we hear Emmett say from behind us, followed by a slap from Rose.
As we stand to leave a little while later, I notice the others disappear into the kitchen, claiming to get bags or use bathrooms, leaving Edward and I alone for a moment.
"So did you have a nice time tonight?" Edward asks me quietly.
"Yeah. I had a great night. Thank you Edward" I say, smiling at him. He smiles back at me, nodding his head slightly. "Did you?" I ask.
"Yeah, it was really good." He says, smiling at me. "I hope we can...do it again sometime...maybe without the others?" He asks, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Are you asking me out on a date Edward?" I reply.
"Yes?" He says. It sounds more like a question than an answer.
"Well it's either a yes or a no" I tease him.
"Yes, definitely yes" He says, giving me a crooked smile.
"Well then I would love to" I reply, smiling at him slightly. He gives me a grin that could light up a Christmas tree.
We make our way out to the kitchen, saying goodbye to the others before Alice and I head for the door. Jasper gives Alice a quick kiss goodbye and Edward leans into me, giving me a peck on the cheek.
"Bye" He whispers.
"Bye" I reply before following Alice out and down the hall. We get into the lift, the doors sliding closed behind us. We're silent for a moment.
"EEEEK!" Alice suddenly squeals making me laugh, "That was SO fucking cute! I have never seen Edward like that before. Emmett was right, it was almost weird" I laugh at her.
We head home, spending the entire car ride talking about everything that Edward did. I feel like I'm soaring high above the stars.
"Oh!" I suddenly say, "Edward and I were talking yesterday about New Year's eve. We said we should plan something as we'll all be back together after Christmas."
"Yes!" Alice squeaks, "We could go into town to watch the fireworks and see the ball drop" She suggests, I nod in agreement. "Leave it with me, I'll plan everything" she continues. I roll my eyes with a smile. She's already tapping away on her phone.
Of course you will Alice.
When I climb into bed that night I lie in the dark with a huge smile on my face.
That was the best night ever.
And Edward was just...urgh.
I feel my heartbeat race at just the memory of it all. I eventually fall asleep, visions of Edward dancing in my head.