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Wedding bells and broken hearts
Chapter 11
Amy
She had really wanted to go see Sheldon before the bachelorette party but since she had promised Missy to give her a ride to the hotel where they would meet all her friends, she did not see an opportunity to slip away.
They spent the late afternoon in the spa area, having booked the whole program including body peeling, massages, facials and mani-pedis.
It was wonderful, especially sharing it with Missy and her friends, who despite hardly knowing her treated her like one of them.
Missy kept referring to her as 'my future sister-in-law' and Amy hadn't even corrected her. Yes, it may have been wishful thinking, but she really hoped to earn that title in the not-too-distant future.
After that they went to the small hall Missy had booked for the main event, where they had dinner and lots of fancy looking drinks.
It was perfect, just like Amy had always imagined being a bridesmaid. After Bernadette's spontaneous wedding on the roof and Penny eloping in Vegas, she was glad to finally be able to experience this with Missy.
Her phone had been blowing up ever since they had left the spa. She had glanced at it briefly and saw a lot of incoming messages and calls from Penny.
She decided to call her later. Or maybe tomorrow before the wedding. It would be hard enough to explain where she was and why.
Putting the phone away again, she continued to listen to the dirty stories the other women were sharing.
Suddenly the door opened and a man in a blue uniform entered. "Package for Miss Cooper.", he exclaimed loudly.
That was strange. Who would deliver a package at that time of night?
But then it clicked. Oh…
Only then Amy noticed the little stage at the center of the room. Of course, how could she not have seen this coming. She was at a bachelorette party after all.
Not a minute later, loud music was playing, and the mailman started taking off his clothes while the girls were screaming.
He did look pretty nice, she had to admit that. But in her mind, he could never live up to the man who kept invading her thoughts.
The man who was staying in the same hotel, just a few floors away from her. Oh, what she would give to be with him instead right now.
Amy did not know where to look when everyone started stuffing money into the stripper's underwear.
Missy tried to hand her a few dollar bills too, but she declined. No way she would touch another man. She did cheer the girls on though, not wanting to be a killjoy.
At last, the laughter died down. The stripper left and the girls sat down at the table again.
Amy decided against having more drinks. She had felt a little tipsy before and she wanted to have a clear head.
Her mind kept wandering back to Sheldon. Sheldon who in the last few days had totally changed the way she viewed their relationship.
She couldn't stop thinking about what his meemaw had said. They had definitely wasted enough time already. It was obvious that she wanted to be with him.
She got more and more sure with every minute. She loved him. She trusted him. This had to be enough for now. They could still talk about the details after getting back together.
"Hey Amy, you're awfully quiet. You're not getting sleepy, are you?", Missy asked giggling. Amy smiled softly.
"No, just… thinking.", she replied.
"About how much you miss my brother?", Missy asked teasingly. "I'm sure he misses you too. With the way you two danced the other night. I never thought Sheldon would ever look at someone like that. Like you're sex on a stick."
Amy blushed deeply. "Missy!", she shrieked.
Wasn't it highly inappropriate, talking about her brother like that? How much had she drunk?
"Oh, come on, lighten up, darling. I'm just so happy for you two. In fact, why don't you go over to your room and surprise him? Put him in a good mood for the wedding tomorrow? We are pretty much done here anyway."
Amy looked around. It was true. Most of Missy's friends had left for their rooms, others were asleep on their chairs. How long had she been sitting here thinking about Sheldon?
Missy was right. This party was over. It was time to get back her man.
"You know what, Missy? I might just do that.", she said grinning to herself.
She did not exactly understand what Missy was saying but she was clearly whistling and cheering her on.
As she made her way to her room – she really hoped Sheldon would be in there waiting for her, preferably still awake – she planned in her mind what she was going to say to him.
She wanted to tell him, she loved him and trusted him. That she had made up her mind days ago, but had not realized it.
That she regretted ever breaking up with him. And that she really, really wanted to be his girlfriend again.
They could talk later, back at home. Write up a new relationship agreement like he had suggested. But they would be together.
And then maybe he would scoop her up and kiss her like he had kissed her the other night. He would be so happy and hopefully agree to be her boyfriend again. He wanted it too, she knew that.
They would spend the night cuddling and talking. Maybe making out, maybe even doing what they had done the night before.
Maybe more than that. Maybe he would allow her to touch him too this time.
And then tomorrow, at Missy's wedding, they would no longer have to pretend they were still together. Because they would be together again for real.
She took a deep breath and opened the door, ready to proclaim her love for him.
But she was met with an empty room. The bed was still made and there was no sign of Sheldon. Sheldon's pajamas were still there. Strange. Did he go to the bachelor party after all?
Sheldon
The tea did not help calm his nerves.
Instead, it made him angrier and angrier.
So, she had thought he was a bad boyfriend? After the way he had changed for her? After the lengths he had gone to for her? Making her his girlfriend, holding her hand, having date nights, almost getting into a fight with Will Wheaton.
Kissing her, working on his phobias, telling her he loved her. No one had ever gotten so much of him. But it was not enough for her, was it? It was never enough.
How long had she thought he was a bad boyfriend? How long had she wanted to break up with him?
She had dumped him. Without warning. She had left him. Everyone always chose to leave him. She had been supposed to be the one who would stay.
And she had not left him just because she couldn't take it anymore, because he insulted her or mentioned a TV show like she had led him to believe. No, she had planned this. Oh, the betrayal.
How could she think about breaking up with him and not tell him before it was too late? She could have told him he was messing up.
She had always told him before. How could she tell Penny of all people and not him? It was like she had wanted them to fail.
And why did his legs feel so wobbly when he made his way back to his room? Why did the hallway seem to spin before his eyes?
Amy
Why wasn't Sheldon here? Had he really gone out with Mike and his friends?
Or maybe he had missed her so much he could not handle being in her room without her. Maybe he went to sleep in his own room.
And it was Sheldon. Of course, he had packed more than one set of pajamas.
She smiled. Yes, that must be it. He was missing her and would rather sleep in his own small room than here without her. Her heart melted.
Should she just let him sleep and find him in the morning?
Or perhaps, after all the times he had slipped into her room at night, now it was her time. She could just snuggle up to him.
It would be a pleasant surprise for him, waking up with her in his arms. And then maybe they could spend the early morning rekindling their romance.
She put on her nightgown and her robe and found her way to Sheldon's room.
But as she arrived, she realized the flaw in her plan. The door was locked. Of course, it was. That was just her luck.
Sighing, she started to walk back but stopped when she heard strange sounds coming closer.
It was Sheldon. But he did not look like himself.
He seemed to have troubles walking in a straight line, repeatedly steadying himself at the wall. And he was grumbling something.
She did not understand what he was saying but he sounded angry.
As he came closer a strange smell filled her nostrils. Was he… drunk? Maybe he had been at the bachelor party after all.
Suddenly he looked like he was on the verge of falling so she quickly closed the distance between them and steadied him.
"Let me help you, Sheldon.", she said concerned, wrapping her arm around his waist.
"I don't need any help", he grumbled. "I've always been perfectly fine on my own."
What a strange thing to say. She looked at him confused but in his inebriated state she guessed he would say all kinds of strange thing.
He clumsily got the keycard out of his pocket and fumbled with it cursing under his breath.
"Let me.", she said firmly taking it out of his hand.
He stood there stoically while she opened the door, just wobbling a little.
She offered him her hand to help him into the room, but he just ignored her and stumbled through the now open door.
That was more than just strange. Something seemed off. Should she be concerned?
She took a deep breath and followed him.
"Sheldon are you okay?", she asked carefully.
"Peachy.", he snorted. It definitely did not sound okay.
"Sheldon…", she started again.
"I don't feel like talking, Amy. I don't even know why you're here.", he cut her off.
He was slurring and his pronunciation was way off. It would have been funny, if there had not been so much anger in his voice.
"But…", she tried again.
"No, Amy. I don't want to talk. And you don't like talking either apparently. At least not to me." He sounded bitter.
She was more than just a little confused now. Was she missing something?
"I'll just go to sleep now, so if you don't mind…"
He tried to take off his shirt but almost fell on the floor as he lost his balance again.
It was ludicrous.
Determined, she held him again and helped him sit down on the bed despite his objections.
"Well, okay you don't want to talk. But let me at least help you get ready for bed. We don't want you to get hurt.", she said softly, as she helped him undress.
"Too late.", he grumbled. He looked defeated, sitting there and letting her help him take off his clothes.
What was going on here? She had just seen him a few hours ago and everything seemed fine then.
As soon as Sheldon was dressed down to his briefs, he got into bed. He sat down at the headboard, pulling his blanket up to his neck as if he was shielding himself from her.
He seemed to be shaking, looking at her angrily.
She was dying to know what had happened. Had he even noticed it was her helping him? Why was he so angry? It couldn't be directed at her, could it?
"Sheldon?", she said as calmly as possibly. "Would you please tell me what happened? You don't seem like yourself. I… I don't understand what's going on here."
He just scoffed. "You don't understand? Oh, Amy, Amy…", he shook his head. She would have laughed at his uncoordinated movements if it hadn't been so serious.
"But you always do, don't you? It's me who never understands. That's why I am such a bad boyfriend. That's what you told Penny, didn't you? When two discussed ending our relationship."
She nervously bit her lip. Oh… so his anger was directed at her. He must have talked to Penny.
It was true, she had discussed breaking up with Sheldon. And she had felt he had treated her badly at times in the past.
But she had never wanted to go through with it. She had just been talking to a friend. In confidence.
And she could not remember ever calling Sheldon a bad boyfriend.
Furthermore, that had all been before this week. Before Sheldon had told her how he had felt about her all this time.
Her conversation with meemaw entered her mind. Yes, they really did have serious communication issues.
She had to do something. She had to explain herself.
"I… I did not mean it like that. I was just venting. Please believe me. Sheldon, this is all a misunderstanding. I realize, I should have talked to you long before."
"Damn straight.", he shouted and banged his fist into the wall wincing in pain afterwards. "I did not deserve this, Amy. Five years and you did not bother telling me that I was at risk of losing you? Why, because I am just an emotionless robot without feelings?"
"You're not.", she shook her head. "I know you're not a robot, Sheldon."
"Yes.", he answered bitterly. "Exactly. You know that. Because it was you who softened me. Everyone else might still think none of this affects me. That's why Penny didn't even bother warning me about losing you."
He looked so hurt. She was at a loss of what to do. "I… I am sorry, Sheldon. I did not realize…"
He cut her off. "But you know, Amy. You know me better than anyone. You made me fall in love with you and then you just threw me away. It's not fair. You could have warned me before you broke up with me. You always have in the past. Why not this time?"
Tears were streaming down Amy's face. This was not supposed to happen. This whole fight, it scared her so much. She could not be losing him again now.
"I was scared, Sheldon.", she mumbled. "The last time I told you what I wanted from this relationship, you got on a train without even saying good-bye."
It seemed he hadn't even listened to her. Or maybe she had not talked loud enough. It was hard. She was so afraid.
He was holding his fist with his other hand, a painful expression on his face.
As quickly as possible she went into the bathroom and wetted a washcloth with cold water. Then she sat down on the bed next to him.
Gently, she took Sheldon's hand and wrapped the washcloth around it.
"Here, let me.", she whispered. "That should stop the pain."
He just looked at her, a blank expression on his face.
"It does not hurt that bad.", he mumbled. "Not as much as you hurt me."
"Sheldon, please, get some rest and then let's talk about this in the morning."
Maybe she would get through to him once he was sober again.
"I don't see the point.", he muttered. "It's pointless. All of this."
He looked angry again. Furious, really.
She wanted to open her mouth again, ready to tell him that he was wrong about this.
But before she could say anything, his mouth was on hers.
Not in the sweet, gently way he had kissed her before. No. He kissed her hard. Demanding. Angry.
"Sheldon, what is this?", she asked alarmed when she felt him push her down on the bed. But then his lips were firmly pressed against hers again. The taste of rum was almost overpowering.
"Shh", he shushed her. She startled when she felt him touch her bare legs. Apparently, he had already pulled up her nightgown.
She needed to stop this. And not just because it was all going way too fast but also because she knew, Sheldon was not himself right now. He would freak out in the morning.
"Sheldon, stop it.", she hissed and pushed him away.
He backed off immediately, furrowing his brows as she scooted away from him.
"Why stop?", he asked bitterly. "I thought you wanted this."
She shook her head at him. "Not like this.", she whispered, trying to catch her breath. Tears filled her eyes again. "Sheldon, you're scaring me. I don't know what's happening here."
"Well, isn't that what people do?", he asked, still slurring a little. "Get angry at each other and then have intercourse to numb the pain?"
She gasped. He had clearly seen to many of his friends' unhealthy relationships during the past years.
"Well, maybe it is what people do. But it's not how we are going to do this, Sheldon.", she insisted, trying to calm herself down. "We are better than that. Just go to sleep and we will talk it out tomorrow."
He looked at her for a long time. Finally, the anger seemed to disappear. He only looked sad now. It was even more scary.
"I can't handle this, Amy.", he croaked. "It's all too much for me."
Tentatively, she got a little closer to him again, wrapping an arm around him. Thankfully he complied, resting his head on her shoulder.
"Listen, Sheldon.", she whispered. "You got it all wrong. This is all just a big misunderstanding. Please just get some sleep and let me explain in the morning. We can still fix this."
He sobbed. "I wish I could believe you. But I am not so sure about that anymore. And now you'll probably never wear the ring."
The ring? Had she heard correctly? Maybe it was just the alcohol talking.
She could not stop the tears from falling. "You don't mean that, Sheldon. Not after everything we've experienced together this week."
He did not reply anymore. She could still hear him cry silently, so she pulled him to her chest and held him, until his breath had evened out.
The alcohol seemed to have done him a favor and helped him fall asleep quickly.
Gently, she lifted his head and helped him lie down again. He was still only dressed in his underpants, so she pulled the blanket over him and tucked him in.
What was she supposed to do now? Just leave?
He would feel like crap in the morning.
She went back to the bathroom and looked through his things. Thankfully Sheldon was as prepared as always, so she was able to find some painkillers.
She left two of them on his nightstand next to a glass of water.
Then she allowed herself to sit down on the bed again and gently stroke his hair. How could this happen? How could everything fall apart like this?
Oh, how she wanted to stay here with him. But he clearly did not want her here now.
There was nothing else left to do, so she turned around and walked back to her room. Her heart was hammering in her chest. It did not feel real.
This was not how this night was supposed to go. She had been so hopeful less than an hour before.
It was too much. Losing Sheldon for the second time in a week. This could not be happening.
His words echoed in her mind. He was so mad at her.
She needed to fix this. But how?
Was everything lost now?