Disclaimer: I do not own Oregairu

Looking Back On High School Life

Hikigaya Hachiman
Grade 11, Class F

Youth is an illusion. It is a dream sequence.

People say time of youth is special, as if its any different from any other time. The time remains the same with standard units of seconds. Then doesn't that mean its more like the the perception of time is relatively different? Are we in the Matrix?

Those who rejoice in youth, do we realize that its just brain sending specific signals to secrete hormones to make us feel that way? We perceive everything about the reality surrounding us like we are in a MMORPG. Even if we make a life-threatening mistake, we act like we have the power to return by death.

Not that there is anything wrong with that as long as it can be used for justifications for any actions. I am no different in that I am currently experiencing my youth as well. If failure could be seen as proof of one's youth, wouldn't it be strange not to consider those who fail to make friends as experiencing the height of their youth?

Speaking of friendship, how is it defined? When teachers make us do group projects and the remaining group member slack off with only me working, aren't I their best friend? The most defining aspect of youth is of course romance. Having a girlfriend or boyfriend becomes a status symbol. Though for some reason, its unacceptable if they are 2D.

In conclusion, those who are enjoying their youth more than me should go die.

Hikigaya PoV

"What do I do with you Hikigaya?"

My Japanese teacher, homeroom teacher as well as guidance councilor Shizuka Hiratsuka, sighed as she read my essay aloud sitting with lab-coat on. Oi, why are you lighting that cigarette? Mad scientists don't smoke.

"Just score the essay like normal?"

Seriously, even if she gives me zero on it, it won't effect our final scores much so why haggle over it like we are in a market.

"Can't! You are my favorite student ever since I found how sharp your observation skills are, even if that blade is in the sheathe of perversion. This is the type of essay that's almost begging to put you in a club to fix your nature."

"Really? There have to be more twisted students than me out there. Aside from that last line that got away from me, it seems a pretty decent work."

"Its not. To begin with, where are your experiences aside from group projects?"

No way. Did she just put a logical argument against me?

"I thought I put more than enough metaphorical references to give a feel of my experiences. Should I have said that my class misjudged me as a delinquent and so no one tried to acquaint with me?"

"Yes. I want an honest feedback from these essays. As negative as it is, yours is still better than others ramblings or copy-pastes. Speaking of which, did you make an effort to clear the misunderstanding?"

This question shut me up.

"Let me guess, your pride won't let you."

Really sensei! Are you a mind-reader? Should I get you a wheel chair and a cerebro helmet?

"Anyway, rewrite this. And about your punishment ..."

"SHHIII . ZUKA . CHAAAN"

My teacher who looked as confident as a mafia boss shuddered and started sweating. She hastily looked around and then at me.

"Shit. Hikigaya, turn off your brain and switch to your pervert mode. Don't observe anything. Stare at my breasts or my legs if you must."

That's an odd request (command?) from someone who has punched me many times to fix my habit of doing these exact same things over the past year but I had no time to think.

If you insist then Itadakimasu.

So as you can see, Hikigaya's instincts have been tamed further by heavenly punishments from our Saiyan Sensei. He used to ogle her pretty openly in the beginning.

She is also the only one who saw the underneath of him at this time, just like in the canon. Being a good teacher means being forced to spend time with your students and properly evaluating them even if no one else would.