Chapter 2

Ex-wife

Emmet's words hit me so hard that I can't get what he has just said. We spend the next few seconds in silence while I'm trying to digest the information.

My head is empty. All anxiety is gone because the strongest shock returned.

Still, I need to say something.

"I haven't heard it yet," I answer. "But it wouldn't be long anyway, right?" I force myself to smile. "Forks is too small. Everyone knows everything about each other."

I'm surprised how calm my voice sounds from aside.

Emmet grins.

"Right. We've always been the subject of gossips. Nothing changed, right?"

I pretend to examine the line.

"Sorry," I need to leave them as fast as possible. "I need to go. Charlie is waiting for me." I wave awkwardly and turn away without waiting for their answer.

After getting outside, I gulp fresh air. My head is spinning. I still haven't processed Emmet's words completely.

It's about the engagement. Edward's marrying again.

The road back is short, and I have no memory of driving. When I wake up, I find myself sitting in my car in front of the house, my shaking hands on the wheel. I'm still suffocating. I'm not crying though, not yet – but I'm sure I'll have plenty of time for that soon.

I look at the empty house, its windows shine with cold darkness. Another proof that no one is waiting for me here.

Edward is marrying again. Edward is marrying again, I repeat to myself in my mind, but I still don't get it. Feels like I'm lost in translation – I hear the words but can't get their meaning.

I need to prepare dinner for Charlie, and this thought makes me leave the car and finally go inside. I unpack the food and start cooking automatically. I move from one part of the kitchen to another, blind and deaf to anything else.

I wake up again later while washing dishes after cooking. The engagement ring I'm still wearing, the reason for the recent trouble, shines in the evening light, catching my attention. I freeze, watching it as if I've never seen it before and having no idea where it came from. It makes me recall another time, the moment from the past when I got it. The moment when –

Will you marry me, Bella?

His velvet voice sounds so real inside my head.

Edward is marrying again. I still look at the ring. The water is running, the diamonds still shine, but they lose their beauty. Edward is marrying again. Finally, I get the words Emmet and Rosalie have told me today.

It's over. Everything's over. Edward moved on without me. All he said wasn't true. He lied to me and, probably, lied to himself. He's about spending eternity with someone else, someone much better than me.

I feel so lonely right now.

I start to cry, breathing heavily, trying to catch fresh air, but I don't feel its taste at all. I'm trying to pull the ring off, but it's stuck. I'm trying again and again. I just don't want to see this ring anymore.

Why on Earth I've decided that visiting Forks was a good idea? I should have never returned here. Stupid, stupid Bella…

The ring lies in the sink. I throw it in the trash.

I make myself concentrate on cooking again, and the food is ready by Carlie's arrival. His heavy steps fill the house, waking it up.

He stands at the door, watching me.

"Hey, Bells. Welcome home!" Charlie's smile looks tired. "Sorry for leaving you alone. I couldn't leave the station."

"It's okay," I say. I'm not offended.

Silence fills the kitchen. Charlie and I look at each other. It was always awkward for us to show our feelings. In the end, Charlie asks:

"Don't you want to give me a hug?"

"Sure," my voice shaky and hoarse after crying, and I pretend to cough.

When I get closer, Dad examines me carefully.

"You're cried, Bella," he doesn't ask, it's too obvious. "Are you okay?"

"Sure. It's just... my eyes are scratchy, you know", I'm a bad liar but it's better than nothing.

"What did you cook then? Onion soup?" Charlie asks, frowning.

He doesn't believe me but lets me play my game.

I smile and nod.

"Something like that."

After having dinner, I wash the dishes, trying to avoid thinking about the ring. Charlie watches the game, so I have plenty of time to grieve. I return to my old bedroom that keeps so many memories. I can almost see them, here, in this full darkness. Beautiful moments of my life became ghosts that still live here.

I lie in my bed, crying silently – I had two years, learning this skill. When I finally go to sleep, the sky is deep grey.

When I wake up, I take my wedding ring out of the trash, wash it carefully and take it to my room. The diamonds still shine.

Charlie must come back to work which means that I have a free day, and I can do whatever want. Don't remember the last time I had a free day. It's always easier to stay busy, so you won't have time for thinking.

Having nothing to do, I call Renee. She and her husband Phil keep travelling across the country, and they have moved to a new city a couple of months ago. My active mother has already learned everything about her new home. When I call her, Renee tells me about her new book club and another hobby – indoor climbing. Her voice sounds excited so far.

In the end, I decided to spend some time outside. I drive to the main street, paying attention to Christmas decorations. Feels like I've lost track of time, and only now, watching all these lights and colours, I finally start to get that the New Year is really coming. It stands on the threshold, waiting for a new start. A New Year… Will it be better than the previous one?

The gift shop looks warm and cosy, and I park nearby to buy a few postcards. Maybe, I'll present one to Taylor when I get back to work.

The shop's owners made a great job decorating it, and I relax here for the first time. I don't recognize the man behind the counter, and he explains that he's moved to Forks only a year ago. But it doesn't mean that he doesn't know my father. Chief Swan is a local celebrity. Kind of.

When I get back outside, I examine the decorations again, hoping to prolong the Christmas mood.

Soon after that, I notice a couple walking in the distance. I don't recognize them – not sure it's someone I know. They are walking, holding hands, both wearing coats matching by colour. My vision is bad, and I can't see much, but the woman, a tall blond, seems to be smiling. The couple looks stylish – even expensive, I'd say. Looks like they have just jumped out of a perfect Christmas ad, and it feels weird for such a place like Forks.

Only when they get closer, I see the woman's partner.

It's Edward. He changed so much that I can barely recognize him from the distance.

My heart is pounding. I need to leave this street, right now, while they're still far away and don't pay attention. I turn away and hurry to the car. Edward doesn't know that it's mine, and even if he sees it, he won't guess it belongs to me. I just need to get to my car, that's all. Yes, it's going to be easy…

Hurrying up, I don't pay much attention to the ice on the road. A make a few short steps ahead, and then my leg slips. Everything around me starts to move weirdly. Shop's decorations turn into a colourful roller coaster.

I fall and lose my bag.

I start to panic. Not now, not now! I can't let them see me like that. I need to stand up and take my bag. I need to-

"Are you hurt?" a woman's voice heard behind me, and then I hear two hurried steps.

Edward's bride kneels beside me first. Now, when she's so close, I can finally see how beautiful she is. Her long blond hair has some amazing strawberry shade I've never seen before. Everything about her radiates confidence and chic – something I've never had.

I hide my eyes.

"Are you alright?" she asks, her voice sounding concerning. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I ask quickly, sounding too rude. It makes me feel ashamed, so I add, politely now:

"But… thank you for your concern. It's very kind of you."

The only thing I hear is my wild heartbeat, and I miss the moment when Edward gets closer. I flinch and see him holding up my back.

"Here's your…" he starts to say, stopping from another side, and finally sees me. Words stuck in his throat.

We exchange glances for the first time in two years. On one hand, Edward has changed – this coat makes him look more mature than I remember him. He looks expensive, like his new girl, and I can bet I smell the new perfume he didn't have in the past. He's the stranger I don't know anymore. But…

But when I look in his eyes, something changes, and somewhere inside I can still see the boy I fell in love with so many years ago.

It's my Edward, wrapped in a new package I can't effort.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Tthe girl asks. Her question makes me look down again.

"Sure. There's no problem," I mumble.

I try to get up, but my right leg still hurts, and I can't stand on it. I almost fall back, but Edward catches me and helps me stand. I can feel his arm on my back. His touch burns.

"Looks like you hurt your leg," she adds. "Maybe, you'd better go to the hospital? We can drive you –

"No!" I cry. Nothing can be more humiliating than this. I'm so embarrassed already, I can't let my ex follow me to the hospital with his new perfect beautiful bride. And it's even not the worst part – it will start when everybody finds out about it.

"I just need to get to my car," I say. "My leg doesn't hurt much, really. I examine it later when I get home."

It doesn't convince Edward's bride. If the situation was different, I might even like her – her concern is commendable.

"I don't think you understand how serious your trauma can be. Maybe…" she begins to say.

This time Edward interrupts her.

"You can drive to the hospital by yourself if you want," he says, looking at me. "I'll warn Dad about you. He'll meet you outside the hospital and examine the leg. We just follow you to your car, okay?"

His voice sounds as velvet and beautiful as I remember, and it wakes so many memories immediately. I sigh. What am I doing here? I can't even look at him - it hurts much more than my wounded leg.

I nod and pretend to examine my shoes.

Edward helps me make a new step. The girl stops speaking; Edward's words make her realize that we know each other, but she obviously doesn't know who I really am. I'm sure she'll get her answers soon.

We reach the car. Standing on the road, Edward and his partner watch me get inside and start the engine.

"Thank you," I say, turning to her and trying to smile, but still avoiding looking at Edward. I just can't stand it. She smiles back and waves, her smile polite and warm.

I turn the car and start driving to the hospital. When the distance between us is getting bigger, I dare to look at them through the rearview mirror. Edward stops talking on the phone – probably, he's phoned Carlisle as he promised. When he finishes the conversation, his bride asks him something. Asks him about me.

When he says his answer, the girl's face is changing. She looks at my car again, and her look has something like pity, something ugly and suffocating.

I know what Edward had said even if I can't hear it. It's only a few letters that explain everything.

Ex-wife.

Thank you all for waiting, reading and writing comments! The chapter isn't perfect, and I wasn't sure I should continue the story.

P.S. Thank you, stranger, for leaving a guest comment about Tanya - of course, Bella can't know her name yet, my mistake - I hurried and mentioned it too early! I corrected this mistake and edited the chapter.