Moments In Between

Chloe shifted under the sheets, not quite able to get comfortable anymore after she had to get up to use the bathroom. Again.

At least this time she hadn't yanked the lid off the toilet in a hurry because she'd felt the nausea rising quickly. As a result, she'd taken to leaving the doors in her house open as much as possible.

She turned on her side, pulling her legs up. Moments ago, she'd been too hot, and now she was shivering, even under the duvet and blanket piled on top. The nights were unseasonably cold for the beginning of September, especially in Southern California.

On top of all things, right now I really don't want to deal with the side effects of climate change.

Chloe lifted her head in order to fluff the pillow up with a couple of careful, deliberate pats, trying her best not to accidentally rip it apart. It had been two weeks since the super strength had kicked in, and she was sort of starting to get the hang of it. Sort of.

With the necklace it had been different. It had only given her the strength and combat prowess when she clutched it or wore it on her body, meaning that each time she had made the conscious decision to become stronger, albeit temporarily.

With Rory, however, it persisted twenty-four seven, with no prior indication of it kicking in. This caused accidents to happen whenever she was distracted or exhausted or just not paying attention in general. And her mother's beloved vase had been the one to pay the price today.

The door and desk in her office had been restored by now, with some weird glances from the men repairing it. Aside from a couple of pens she'd accidentally snapped in half and a mug she'd shattered (this time without wounding her hands), the week had so far been without too many incidents at the precinct.

Chloe shivered, wrapping the sheets more tightly around her. The comfy, loose pajama pants and matching long-sleeved, navy shirt did little for her comfort. How did they go from sweltering summer nights to this so quickly?

Soon they'd announce the pregnancy to everyone. She was already almost two months along, the test she'd taken on August 4th indicating she'd already been with child for three weeks. But they had agreed to keep it between the two of them (and Trixie) for now.

Somehow, it had just felt right to do so. Ella probably suspected something when her coffee-loving friend suddenly became a fervent tea drinker but hadn't pushed on the matter, only eyeing her with a knowing smile each time they ran into each other in the kitchen.

Amenadiel – God - probably knew as well, in one way or the other, as ruler of the universe and such.

But for now, it was their little secret.

After tossing and turning for a while, she seemed to have found a comfortable spot. Finally. She had never been a sound sleeper, but now it was just terrible. She could count the good nights she'd had one hand. The shift from lounging around carefree all summer (relatively speaking) to a work week schedule had its difficulties.

Listening to the wind hissing through the palm trees outside, Chloe found herself starting to drift off. She almost tumbled over the edge into unconsciousness when she could have sworn she heard footfalls outside her bedroom.

A breeze drifted over her exposed skin, cool and crisp as night. Not a moment later the bed dipped, and she felt a warm, solid presence at her back, arms circling around her waist to rest on her abdomen.

Chloe shifted backwards into his warmth, grateful for the fact that he always radiated heat like a furnace. Hot in every meaning of the word, as he liked to say. She'd roll her eyes but found herself incapable of denying the fact.

"Still awake?" Lucifer whispered.

She nodded, not turning around. "Yeah."

He pressed a soft kiss just below her ear. "Has she been tap-dancing on your bladder again?"

"You have no idea."

He chuckled, hugging her closer. She could feel the lines of his suit against her back, not even having bothered to change into one of his night clothes he had lying here before dropping down beside her.

"You are freezing, my love."

"S'just a bit cold," she mumbled, ducking lower under the duvet.

Chloe felt him shrug, then a whoosh of air, before something warm and heavy settled over both of them.

She laid on arm over his wing, careful not to touch... sensitive areas, but frowned when instead of soft, downy feathers she was met with a velvety membrane instead.

Devil wings.

Had something happened in Hell? Did something happen to him? What did he feel guilty about, or why did he loathe himself?

Sleep instantly forgotten, Chloe twisted in his embrace so she could face him. "Hey," she started. "Are you alright?"

Lucifer made a noncommittal humming sound, his eyes still closed. The gloom in the dark bedroom made it hard to see, the only source of light the yellowish glow from the street lanterns filtering through the blinds.

"Lucifer."

"Try to get some sleep, Chloe. Don't worry about me."

"You know I will." She laid her head on his pillow, their faces inches apart, and ran a tender hand along his jaw line, her thumb rubbing soothing circles. "What's on your mind?"

His opened his eyes, the beginnings of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth at their proximity.

Folding his wings around them to accustom to their new position, Lucifer sighed deeply.

"Why did you have a 'bat' day?" she asked carefully, the pun not even causing its usual chuckle.

He met her eye, and there was a haunted look in them. After a long minute, he spoke. "I just feel bad about leaving you all the time, especially now."

"You don't-"

"I know, I know - I just -" he trailed off, sounding weary, casting his eyes heavenward for a moment. "I just wish I could be around more. It's been almost a month, and I've seen you what, five times? You're getting back to work in a new position, and I haven't seen Trixie a lot, and you're pregnant, Chloe. You're pregnant, and I'm not around enough." The way his voice broke on those last words sent a pang through her.

She put her hands on his chest, feeling his heart rate calm down at her touch. Most of her limbs were finally starting to warm up again, thanks to his wing wrapped around her. "You're here. How is that not an improvement to a future where you were killed at Tenth and Swanson? Or trapped in Hell?"

Chloe smiled. "How could I not be happy to still have my partner beside me?"

"But that's just it. You're my partner, meaning we both do equal amounts of work."

"Exactly. You handle Hell, I handle Earth, and we'll come together over a glass of wine. Or orange juice, in my case."

Lucifer shook his head, adamant in his guilt. "You handle the household and raise Trixie, practically all on your own, besides your job. And grocery shopping-"

"Lucifer," she interrupted his ramblings, cupping his cheek. "There is nothing to apologize for. Nothing. You're completely overthrowing Hell, testing out strategies and reorganizing structures that have been there since... well, the beginning of time. And it's a bit chaotic down there to start with, like you said."

He scoffed. "I have Dad to thank for that. 'Hell doesn't need a keeper anymore'. He sure as hell could have left one while I was figuring things out. The place was on the brink of uproar."

"See? It takes time. It just takes time. And I'm used to dealing with stuff on my own."

"You shouldn't be alone."

"But I'm not. Look, we're both in new phases in new phases of our lives, and we're currently adapting. But that doesn't mean we can't have a life together. On the contrary. These aren't even the biggest odds that have been stacked against us, and we've overcome whatever life has thrown at us so far." She rubbed a hand over his arm, unable to help the rush of pride and affection washing over her.

"And I am so, so proud of you."

A smile finally broke out over his face, this time reaching his eyes. Lucifer drew her closer against him.
"I am proud of you, too." He tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, his hand lingering. "My lieutenant."

He pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead, then leaning his head against hers. "But you'll always be my detective."

His words made her heart flutter, her chest glow. This. It was moments like this that made everything worth it, regardless of how much time they'd manage to spend together that month.

They were both quiet for a while, tenderly gazing at each other, lying so close their breaths mingled.

"I think it's safe to say we both have demanding jobs," Chloe started. "But just as you don't blame me for my workload, I don't blame you. I never could. So don't beat yourself up over it, okay? You're doing everything you can."

"Alright," Lucifer whispered after a short silence, and she could feel the muscles in his shoulders relax beneath her touch.

"Promise me. Please."

"How could I ever say no to you?" He withdrew his arms from around her, and Chloe mourned the loss of contact until he took his hands in hers. "I promise, Chloe. I promise"

The knot that had formed in her gut loosened, knowing he always stayed true to his word, no matter the circumstances. She knew he didn't want to bother her more than was strictly necessary with his problems, fearing to be a burden. But he never was. He never could be.

"Your hands are like ice cubes," Lucifer murmured. He lifted his arm in invitation. "Come here before you freeze to death."

That was all the encouragement she needed. Chloe scooted closer, bridging the last couple of inches between them. She turned on her side as Lucifer wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back flush against his chest. His wings came up around them to form a cocoon, shutting the world and all its issues out.
"I love you," Chloe whispered, covering his hands with hers. She was finally starting to get warm, having resumed their initial position.

Running an affectionate hand over the membrane, she felt him shudder against her as he made a noise at the back of his throat that suspiciously sounded a lot like a purr.

"I love you, too," Lucifer replied, peppering her cheek with tender kisses that made her insides melt.

"And I love you as well," he continued, brushing a hand over her belly. "So, so very much."

With a satisfied sigh, he settled back down on the pillow. "I'll be there when you wake up," he murmured sleepily. Shortly after his breathing deepened, leaving little to imagine the depths of his exhaustion.

Chloe followed not long after.

It was one of the best nights of sleep she'd had recently, and when she woke up in the morning, well-rested and content, she found herself wrapped in silken soft, pure white feathers.

Smoothies had almost become a staple for their lunches (and snacks) these days. Besides pasta, literal heaps of olives and all the Dorito flavors, it was one of the few things Chloe could eat tastefully without having to worry about it resurfacing later.

Not that he minded, not in the least. As long as he got to be near her, he would be happy to drink Berry Blasts and Tropical Sunrises for the rest of eternity.

The sight of her made Heaven pale in comparison. She'd let her hair down during her break, which had somehow gotten much thicker the past month, the soft September sun turning it to gold. Today she wore a simple white blouse, buttoned neatly at her throat, under a khaki jacket. The outfit was so her, it made him stop in his tracks when he saw her. The last two times he'd visited, she'd been in pajamas, smelling like laundry detergent and mint toothpaste. Like home.

He'd been in such a lovestruck daze that when the shopkeeper had handed him the drinks saying, "This one is yours, sir. And here's the one for your wife," he'd only realized when he was outside that he didn't correct the man. The thought hadn't even occurred to him.

Lounging in the iron wrought chairs of the shop, which appeared to be a hipster hotspot, she occasionally sipped her Mango Madness while watching the cars crawl by in the already-clogging midday traffic.

Their casual conversation had lapsed into a comfortable silence after they'd criticized the outfits of pedestrians for half an hour, quickly averting their eyes or hiding their snickers behind a hand when they'd been too loud.

She'd wrapped her foot around his ankle, stroking up and down in an absent-minded way, as if the gesture was natural to her.

Angling her head towards the sun, she savored the gentle rays on her skin, light glinting off the bullet at her neck. A wholly different person from the stressed, fidgeting, lightly swearing one he'd picked up half an hour ago at the precinct. Her mood had considerably lightened. Seeing her like this felt like a balm to his heart, making his time down below seem like a dream.

Once the initial uproar at the change in Hell's longstanding policy had died down - for a moment he had to remind them who was king, and why - everything had come down to planning. Lots and lots of it.

Finding his calling had been life-changing, like a lightbulb going on in his head, dispelling millennia and millennia of self-doubt and insecurity. But that didn't mean he instantly knew how to heal the broken and the damned.

Sure, he'd done with it Mr. Said-Out-Bitch and with Daniel, but those were both people he'd known in life, one more than the other. He'd known Dan's good and bad sides, his passions and fears and pain. Saw what he was like in his day-to-day life. They'd been friends, bracelet brothers even, though he still wouldn't admit that to everyone.

Talking to him when he was in Le Mec's body, giving him advice, had felt natural. It came naturally, without having to sit down and make a psycho-analysis according to a pattern determined by some long dead guy. Those had been words spoken directly from the heart, not mulled over in his head for days.

And anyone who ended up in Hell had a source of guilt, ranging from despicable crimes to simple regrets over missed opportunities. For now, he'd stuck with minor criminals after randomly picking someone out who was stuck down there because he felt guilty about not being there enough for his wife and children, who'd basically grown up fatherless.

Lucifer had remained polite and professional, finishing up his notes and sending the man back to his now-frozen hell loop before bursting out of his new office and speeding to Earth. To Chloe.

It was the first time in months that his devil wings had come out, and he'd been taken aback by it. But by morning, they were already gone again. Because of her.

Chloe squinted at him in the sun, feeling the weight of his gaze upon her. "What?" she grinned.

"You. Just you."

She ducked her head shyly, and he loved how he still had this effect on her, even after all this time.

Peering at him from under her lashes, she quickly drained the last of her drink before putting the empty cup down and laying her hand on the table, palm up in silent question.

Lucifer obeyed, putting his hand in hers and intertwining their fingers.

"Happy to be out of the office?"

She nodded, smiling. "Yeah. Sometimes it's a bit much, with meetings and deadlines and breaking my third desk lamp this month even though we're only the seventh today. It's- I-" she trailed off, looking out across the street with a distant stare.

"Maybe they think you're just really driven and pulling so many all-nighters that you need a new one every couple of days," he tried half-jokingly, sensing an underlying hesitation.

She was clearly enjoying their lunch together downtown, but there was an edge of despair to it. Like a drowning person enjoying her last few breaths before going under. Her good mood was starting to darken as her break was nearing its end. Something was on her mind.

She noticed his worry, and tried to give him a reassuring smile, but it lacked conviction.

What's wrong, Chloe? Talk to me. You always say we shouldn't spare you, but the same goes for me.

Lucifer brushed a thumb over the back of her hand. "No one's been giving you a hard time at work, have they?" he asked carefully, not wanting her to shut down in front of him.

He knew most people at precinct, was on friendly terms with, Chloe even more so, having known them for years. But he also remembered how she'd been treated with the Palmetto case. The cold, brutal disdain that had constantly been aimed at her. He could never forget that. Never forgive, either. Let that be a sin he carried with him.
She rubbed her foot along his ankle, shaking her head. "No, everyone's been great, really. Happy to have me back, Ella most of all."

With her free hand she'd started twirling the straw in her empty cup, pushing fruit leftovers on the bottom from side to side. When it snapped between her fingers she pushed the cup to the center of the table, next to his empty one.

He waited patiently, giving her all the time she needed.

Chloe blew out a deep breath, squeezing his hand. "Okay, here goes." She met his eye, and the insecurity in them made something catch in his chest.

"I feel bad about being pregnant."

His mind stuttered and reeled, trying to make sense of what she was saying. The shock and confusion must have been etched plain on his face, because she immediately raised her hand in a soothing gesture.

"No, no, no," she blurted, realizing her wrong choice of words. "I love you, and I love our Rory. I can't wait to hold her again. There's nothing that would make me happier. "

She licked her lips. "But the thing is, I just got promoted to the job I always wanted, and less than eight months from now I'll be on maternity leave. And then they'll have to temporarily replace me."

A quiver creeped into her voice. "And I'm just - I'm just afraid that maybe my replacement will be better, and I won't get to go back. 'Cause right now I have mere months to prove myself. And if I don't... I feel bad about not telling anyone that I'm pregnant before I got the promotion, because maybe then they wouldn't have chosen me. And that makes me feel like a fraud."

She wiped her tears away, sniffling angrily.

"Chloe... "

"Look, I know it sounds stupid-"

"No, it doesn't." Lucifer gave her hand a squeeze. "It doesn't," he insisted. "How long have you been walking around with this, love?"

"... A week."

Since the super strength had kicked in. Or was that when those ideas had surfaced consciously? Surely those thoughts must have been swimming in her mind for some time. It was one of the most profound fears of every successful woman.

A pang went through his chest at her insecurity, but the worst thing was the thought wasn't completely irrational. There had been many cases before through the years, and this country wasn't a shining example. God bless America.

"Okay. Has anyone in the precinct ever been fired for this reason, that you know of?"

She shook her head. "Not that I know of. But that doesn't mean it can't happen."

"That's true. But these things have gotten less frequent over the years, I think. I hope." He absolutely wasn't an expert on the matter, not helped by the fact that there were years, decades, sometimes even a century between his stays on Earth.

Time for a different angle.

"What did they tell you when you got the position? Did they say why they'd chosen you?"

She straightened a little in her chair. "Because of my track record. I – I mean, we - had the highest closing rate for years, not here but also in the surrounding precincts. And because I was right about Palmetto in the end, and for exposing Pierce- I mean, Cain as the Sinnerman. And catching Le Mec, even though not while he was alive."

"Alright. And is there anyone who can equal those prestations?

Channel your inner doctor. Channel your inner doctor.

Chloe blinked. "Well, um, I don't... think so?"

How in the world could she be uncertain about that? "If I may be so free to answer that for you," he asked, resuming his sentence at the dip of her chin, "there isn't. No one compares to you, Chloe. Not even close."

Lucifer smiled, full of affection. "Because you're Chloe Decker, an amazing police officer and detective and person in general. Someone who has already done so much good in her life. You're a hero. My hero. Don't you ever doubt that."

Her eyes were brimming, trying to hold back her tears because if there was one thing she loathed, it was crying in public.

"No one in their right mind will fire you, out of respect for you, and even out of respect for your father. And if - if they should, take it to court. You'll win, without a shadow of doubt. You'll win, and then you can drag them all in the newspapers."

He pressed a kiss to her knuckles before folding his hands over hers. "But I don't think it's going to come to that, Lieutenant. Because you won't let it, and neither will I."

Chloe nodded, biting her lip to keep it from trembling.

The young couple at the table next to them had clearly been eavesdropping, and with a withering glare from him they went back to their smoothies, ears burning red with embarrassment.

"Thank you," she whispered, voice hoarse.

"You're not a fraud. You deserve to be lieutenant. So don't worry, my love. There is no reason to."

The beginnings of a smile played over her lips, and she leaned over to kiss him, just a brush of her lips at first, then deepening it in a way that made his head spin. The jasmine notes of her perfume wrapped around him. Before pulling away, she quickly kissed the tip of his nose.

"I'm sorry if that ruined our lunch."

"It didn't. I'm glad you told me."

Chloe glanced at her phone for the time. "Can we stay for a little longer? Unless you have to go back already," she quickly added.

"I'd love to stay."

With a squeeze of her hand, she settled back down in her seat, eyes red and puffy, but without the worry that had haunted them since the moment she'd stepped out of the office.

They both looked at the never-ending stream of pedestrians passing by, enjoying the weather, Chloe having resumed her gentle brushes against his ankle.

"Lime green pants under that jacket? I don't know," she began, voice still a bit gravely but with a note of humor. "Seems like a bad idea to me."

Lucifer craned his neck to see the man in question crossing the street. He stuck out like a sore thumb, which is a feat of its own in LA. "And with those shoes? What is this, the seventies? I mean, what on earth was he thinking? He's mental."

She scoffed. "Clearly," then burst into laughter, her features lighting up.

The sound rang out all throughout him, sending his heart soaring. "Look there, near the bus stop," Lucifer said, subtly indicating it with a finger. "I wouldn't even wear that if-"

And so he sat there with her, holding hands, criticizing half of LA together, until the last trace of doubt or worry had vanished.

And her 'bat' day was over, too.