Author's note: Welcome back! Thank you for all of your reviews and feedback on the last chapter. Again, I truly love hearing from you all always. Thank you for bearing with the fact that this is unedited and without a set schedule. I hope you all enjoy chapter 18!

Disclaimer: Unedited.

…

"But if the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

You'd come over and you'd stay the night

Would you love me for the hell of it?

All our fears would be irrelevant"

If The World Was Ending - JP Saxe and Julia Michaels

...

"Hi," I say, smiling at Edward as he walks through the door. He holds three grocery bags in one hand as he locks the door with the other.

I am excited to see him because I have honestly missed him. I got somewhat ready today just to make myself feel good and also show him I don't always look like a bum.

I wear my favorite pair of leggings that make me look like I have a figure. I choose to go without a bra in my all white tank allowing my nipples to poke through freely. I wrap a light pink cardigan around my shoulders. I even put on some blush and mascara but wrapped my hair in a low messy bun.

I just wanted to feel pretty because it's something that makes me feel better.

After the beginning of January I am coming to terms with everything that has happened from Charlie's death and Renee's visit. Even beginning to accept that Edward really is here, supporting and comforting me like he said he wanted to do. For once, he's doing as he promised.

"Can I help you with those?" I ask, padding my way towards him.

He looks me up and down, licking his lips which makes me blush. He shakes his head and continues to move toward the kitchen, stopping to kiss me. I smile then follow behind him.

When he sets the bags onto the counter I immediately take the groceries out. I am pleased to see ingredients to make my favorite, spaghetti.

"You even got garlic bread!" I hold a large piece of bread in the air proudly.

Edward chuckles and removes two more items from the bags. He slides my favorite herbal tea towards me and I jump excitedly because he knows me so well.

"I'm going to get started on this now."

Cooking is something I have loved to do since I moved back to Forks with Charlie when I was fifteen. I had to learn how to cook because Charlie couldn't. He was surviving on frozen TV dinners, take out and the local diner before I came and actually went grocery shopping.

It only takes twenty minutes for things to get messy.

"Oh shit!" I yell as the red sauce I've been stirring on low heat pops up at me, splattering in my face and all over my shirt. It wasn't hot enough to burn me, but it was hot.

"You should wash that off, it'll stain," he says, trying to hide his laughter.

I sigh, looking down at my white shirt and pink cardigan now covered in tomato colored juices.

I go to the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth from the linen closet on my way. I run hot water and start washing my face first. I watch as red stains the counter, running the cloth under the hot water.

My shirt is ruined.

"My shirt is ruined!" I yell, reaching for the hem and pulling it over my head. I throw it in the sink. I stand in my leggings and black lace bra, trying to scrub the tomato out of my shirt.

"Here, you can have one of mi-," he says but doesn't finish his sentence. He just stands and stares in the doorway. He hasn't looked at me this way in months, not because he didn't want to but we never went further than making out for our just dating rule.

"What?" I say, looking down at the floor. There's sauce everywhere. "Sorry about dinner." I frown.

"Fuck the dinner." He rushes towards me, dropping his shirt on the floor. He stops directly in front of me, putting our foreheads together and moving his cool hands to my hips. "I want to make love to you, Bella."

His words my heart race and my core aches for him. It has been months since he was last inside of me and it had been even longer before that. I have been suppressing my urge to let him have his way with since seconds after we agreed not to have sex.

"Are you sure?" I take a chance in ruining the mood so we can at least say we did take a moment to think before ending our "just dating" phase.

He chuckles, "I'm sure. Are you?"

I nod slowly and a smile widens on his face.

Our lips crash together and we kiss, moving from the bathroom into the bedroom. When the back of his knees meet the end of my bed, I push him knowing he will be off balance. He doesn't fight me as he falls back, landing softly then pushes himself up onto his elbows.

His lips are set in a straight line except when he licks them. His eyes burn with desire and my eyes go to the bulge in between his legs. My mouth waters as he notices and reaches for his belt. I immediately swat his hand away. It's been too long since I've undressed him and I want to enjoy myself.

I replace his hands with mine and slowly move my fingers to unbuckle him. I choose this time to hover myself over him. I kiss his cheeks then his lips and his neck. I slowly make my way down to the other side of his neck, taking my time to make a circle with my tongue. Goosebumps rise as I drag my tongue from side to side on his collarbone. Lastly I plant kisses down his chest and stomach before standing and dipping one hand into his pants while the other unzips him.

I use both hands to pull on his jeans while he raises his hips for me to pull them down to his ankles.

His dick springs to life in front of me as he takes his shirt off. As I lightly trace my hands on his thighs, he places his arms behind his head. He watches me as I slowly inch closer to him, biting my lip and wrapping my hands around him.

He sighs deeply, closing his eyes and moving his hips. I put my hand there to stop him from moving, silently telling him to let me do the work. I toss my hair over my shoulder and run my tongue along his shaft. He tastes so good as he fills my mouth, I moan to let him know. He bucks his hips again and wraps his hand around my hair to move it out of my way.

I continue my movements until I take him in my mouth.

"Fuck." His grip tightens on my hair.

I look up at him and our eyes lock. They don't leave each other as I move up and down, sucking and moaning. I use both hands then no hands. I let him squirm and enjoy himself, I've always loved how he lost control with my hands and mouth around him.

But now I want to feel him inside me. I want to be his and him to be mine.

Mine to lose control with. Mine to that screams my name. Mine to hold after he comes undone.

I move my hips over top of his while he watches me move. His hands trace my thighs then settle on my ass which he grabs, massaging as I slide myself onto his length.

We sigh together as I push myself up then back down on him. I rock my hips to adjust and he grabs me tighter. His touch makes me fold onto him, weaving my fingers into his hair.

He pushes into me and I scream out in pleasure. I pull on his hair and he digs his nails into my skin. I bite his lip, hard loving the way he growls in response. His hands roam all around my body landing on my breast as I sit myself back up. He tugs on my nipples before sitting himself up and sucking my sensitive skin.

Chills run through me and I run my nail deep down his back. We stay like this for minutes, being close and moaning our satisfaction with each other, before I push him back, making him fall onto the bed again.

"Don't move." I tell him sternly.

He eyes me, questioning my thoughts.

I smile and rock my hips forward.

He reaches his hands up for me but I push them away gently. "I said don't move." I wrap my hands around his wrist using my little strength compared to his to keep him from moving.

He could move me if he wanted to, but he doesn't and I feel the fire course through me. I watch him as I roll my hips in circles and bounce on him in a smooth rhythm.

"Bella, please, let me touch you. It's been too long."

It has been too long but it's my turn to make love to him. I shake my head and continue to please him. He moans and grunts but I don't care, there are the sounds keeping me going.

I don't realize I let go of his wrist until he palms my breast in both of his hands. He picks up his pace, taking over and I let him before grabbing his wrist again to push his arms back down.

He allows me. "Don't move, or I'll stop." I bite my lip and shake my hair to one side. Bending down closer to him, whispering into his ear, "I love you."

I can feel him harden inside of me but I don't let it distract me. I keep moving, quicken my pace and ignore my legs becoming uncomfortable.

I let him touch me everywhere he desires, truly savoring the feeling. His warm hands send shivers up my spine

I tell him over and over to release into me and not to stop until he does. I let him push into me at the tempo he loves, moaning in my ear and getting closer. He grunts how much he loves me too until he finally releases into me. We lay there for a moment to catch our breath and he runs his fingers down my back.

When he pulls out of me, he pulls me closer and I bury my face into his neck but don't say a word. He lightly strokes my arm with his fingers as he looks up to the ceiling, something he used to do after long nights out at the casino.

Whenever Edward and I had sex after going out and seeing women hanging all over him, there was a fury in me that had to make him mine again. He flirted with them like I didn't exist and he let me flirt with other men to throw them off their game.

It was sickening if you think about it.

But those men and women didn't really matter. They were just tools to get to what he really wanted, money. I sat back and watched, doing my duty and at the end of the night, he was mine.

The urge to prove I wasn't some tool to make jealous then claim his property only at home was stronger than the years before now. A ring won't change that, it never could.

I couldn't be what he needed me to be then and if that's what he wants now, I definitely can't be. He wanted me at home bearing his children and cooking him dinner, but I was and am not that kind of wife. I wanted to be a part of his business, supporting him and loving him every step of the way. I couldn't sit back and watch him struggle and it eventually got me in trouble.

But that was then and this is now.

I don't know much about what Edward did for a means of money after we divorced. He had just barely finished his apprenticeship. His next plan was to find a shop and build a clientele. I don't know if he did exactly that but it seems like he made some kind of way for himself. His shop is amazing and people love the work done there.

The work isn't even his though. He doesn't tattoo or at least I haven't seen him do so since I've been here. I would think it would be something he would want to show off but maybe something has changed.

There's still so many questions I feel like I need to ask but I feel like I am always doubting whether I can handle the possible answer.

After Renee's visit, I was reminded that there is still a strong part of me that can lose control. I am trying hard to keep that from happening again, especially with Edward.

"I love you," he says thankfully, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"I love you too." I really do.

"We should talk." His voice is quieter. I can hear the pattern of his breathing changed. The pit of my stomach begins to hurt. My instincts pull away from him but he doesn't loosen his grip on me.

"What about?" I find courage to look up at him. I search his eyes for answers. I kiss his chin and let his hair tickle my face.

"About that night."

…

Author's note: Did Edward ruin the mood or what? But the just dating period is over and the challenges of their relationship continue. I am excited to dig into them further with you all! Don't forget to leave a review and tell me what you think.