Author's note: Hi! Welcome back! We will now take a look back from Bella's POV. I hope you all enjoy it but PLEASE read the disclaimer before reading.

Disclaimer: Unedited.

Disclaimer: This chapter contains the subjects of drug use, alcohol use, and assault/rape attempt. I will not go into too much detail but please let me know if this may be a triggering subject for you. I can send you a private message of the story without the break in. I do not want to upset anyone so PLEASE let me know.

…

"How many pennies in the slot?

Giving us up didn't take a lot

I saw the end 'fore it begun

Still I carried, I carried, I carried on

Oh, oh-oh-oh oh

Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh

All I know, all I know

Loving you is a losing game"

Arcade - Duncan Laurence

…

I watch as Edward rolls up his sleeves of the collared shirt I picked out for him tonight. I stand, within eyesight, but far away so we don't look suspicious. If anyone knew we were together, they would ruin Edward's name in what they call the system.

The system that has made us more money than we could ever imagine.

We play a dangerous game but we love it, in some dark and twisted way.

My light blue floor length dress looks the opposite of his all black attire. I don't look like I belong in the casino filled with the dingy men and women who live a double life.

Standing out is how I get them though. They are interested in how someone like me, out of place and innocent looking. I bat my eyes and smile nicely, catching their eye.

I come in alone, swinging my hips and throwing my hair over my shoulder. My makeup is overdone but I feel on top of the world as I stride through the people deeply focused on their game… at least they're trying to be.

I don't gamble and I am specifically here as a diversion to Edward's competitors. I talk, I flirt, I get free drinks, and I get his competitors to drink more. I encourage them to play the game and I tell them it's easy money even though I know Edward will beat them.

We play a dangerous game but it pays our bills and allows us to live comfortably, something we both have never really had.

I sit at the bar admiring Edward's composure. We had a long flight and didn't have time to nap before coming here. I am exhausted and I know he is too but it doesn't phase him as stares intently at his cards. It also might be the coke he did at the hotel but he's doing well and he still has two more games left.

The man I flirted with earlier and convinced to take five shots before his game, Stefan I think his name is, is sweating on the opposite side of the table. He looks almost disoriented as the cards shake in his hands. He has tried to loosen his collar multiple times but he continues to sweat. I smile at myself because it is helping Edward win.

I watch as Edward chooses to stand with a King of hearts and nine of spades. Stefan also chooses to hold but immediately regrets it when he lays down his Queen of diamonds and seven of hearts. Edward smiles proudly as people pat his back to congratulate him. He just won fifteen thousand dollars in a matter of thirty minutes and people are in awe.

I watch as a young blonde in an all white sparkling dress kisses his cheek. I roll my eyes and laugh because she has know idea what it takes to be a woman in Edward's life.

I stopped getting jealous after I almost got into a fight at an underground game. Edward got kicked out and I ruined his chances of winning a large sum of money that night. I felt bad but from then on I just tell myself that it's me he's coming home to tonight. He really doesn't want anything to do with the other women and sure he floats but it's part of the game.

It's midnight and I feel like I'm going to fall asleep at the bar. Edward's now in the middle of his second game and I already know he's going to be fine. The other two guys I flirted with are his components and they have also had quite a few drinks tonight so I know he will take their money too.

I get an uber back to the condo Edward rented for us this week. It's in the middle of Vegas and lit up by the lights of the strip. We can hear the sounds of sirens and loud drunk but happy people. It's a different world, happy, and the drugs are amazing. We've partied a lot, saw a few shows and had mind blowing sex at the end of our night, which usually was around five in the morning.

I send Edward a text to let him know I left. He probably won't see it but he will be looking for me.

Soon I am showered, moisturized and smelling like flowers. I feel so relaxed that all I can do is fall back onto the fluffy, soft bed and wrap myself in the large duvet. I feel like I haven't been in a real bed in weeks as I close my eyes and drift into a light sleep.

It feels like only minutes go by before I can hear the door open. I grab my phone quickly to check the time and it's only one in the morning. Edward shouldn't be home at this time unless he lost the game.

Or maybe he is looking for me? There aren't any messages asking where I am and he hasn't even read the message I sent earlier.

I check the app that we downloaded to check each other's location as I hear steps walking around outside the bedroom door. My stomach drops as they get closer and when I realize Edward's location confirms he is still at the casino.

I quickly get up, panicking but also in fight mode because the chances of it being someone I know are slim. I'm in Vegas and could have easily been followed. There's creeps and pimps scattered across the strip.

I can hear deep voiced whispers and the footsteps get closer.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I am outnumbered.

I find Edward's number and call him multiple times before the footsteps stop right in front of the door leading to me.

Edward doesn't pick up and I am most positive it is not him behind that door now.

I am thinking quickly because from past experiences at random house parties or what I thought were friends' houses, I know I only have a few more seconds until that door opens. I fought then and I can fight now but before I do so I need to somehow get help.

I quickly open another app Edward made me download that is a panic button to let him know something is wrong. Luckily it will also alarm the police that they need to come if I don't answer.

I press it multiple times before I am startled by the force of the door being opened. I drop my phone as I stand, eyeing the two men standing in the doorway. I quickly scan them, taking as much detail about them as I can.

They are both taller than me and dressed in suits.

One is more toned and wide with his hair in dreadlocks that hang down his shoulders. His dark brown skin is outlined with tattoos and I think there is one on his face. When he smiles, gold and diamonds shine from his teeth that match the gold jewelry he wears.

The other wears his blond hair in a ponytail and is pale in comparison to the other man. His suit doesn't fit him that well but his piercing blue eyes take the focus away from that.

"Nice place." The blond male says, putting his hands on his hip showing off the gun he has on his waistband.

I can feel my heart racing and my brain stops working. I can't fight a fucking gun and my only hope is that Edward or the police show up.

"You need to leave." I try to keep my voice steady as I narrow my eyes at both of them. My eyes switch between both of them as I try to come up with something. "The police are on their way."

I am hoping that will scare them away and that what I just said is true. My best bet is the Las Vegas Police Department especially if Edward is still playing his game.

"Well do you know what that means?" The dreadlocked man asks his partner in crime, continuing to smile.

"This will be a quick one." The blond answers not taking his eyes off me.

I don't know why I think running will help me but I choose to try to save myself before they can get to me.

I try to move as quickly as possibly, jumping onto the bed and running across. They are taken by surprise at first but before I can break between them, they grab both of my arms, pulling me back onto the bed.

I scream and pull before I am thrown back onto the bed. I continue to fight, kicking and flailing my arms so they will hit anything. I am thankful I got my nails done earlier because I am scratching and open hand hitting the blond in the face as he tries to push me down again.

It pisses him off but eggs him on. "Grab her arms Laurent!" He yells at the dark skinned man who is above me.

"Fuck James, what happened to no names!" Laurent yells back but wraps his hands around my wrist.

I continue to try to pull away from his rough calloused hands as James pushes my thighs down. I kick my lower legs as he moves toward me and straddles me. I can still kick my legs but there's no use, his body weight pins me down.

"Did you think you and Edward could just get away with your fuckery?" He asks hovering over me. "I have been tracking you and him since his name started popping up in the undergrounds under an order and what I have found is incredible."

Sarcasm is thick on his voice but if these men have ties to the underground then their problem is with Edward and not me.

"You have been stealing so much money, Isabella." My name rolls of Laurent's tongue and causes me to get nauseous.

I try to sit up just in case my body does decide to throw up on them but James puts his hands on my shoulders and I am pinned.

"Get off of me!" I scream, still kicking my legs.

James leans his face so close to mine our lips almost touch. He smells of whisky and weed making me even more nauseous. He moves his face next to my ears and sniffs loudly. "You smell so sweet but you have been such a bad girl. You can't go unpunished."

I am crying and trying so hard to keep fighting against him. I feel him adjust his body to lay completely over me. I can no longer kick as he runs his one hand up my thigh and continues to nestle his face in the crook of my neck.

Before James can do anything further, there's loud banging on the door. "Las Vegas Police! Open up!" I hear behind the door.

I let out a loud scream of help before James's hand is over my mouth but it doesn't matter because soon the police have kicked down the door and are swarming into the bedroom.

James doesn't have time to grab his gun before two police officers grab his shoulders pulling him off of me. Two other officers struggle with Laurent behind me while another picks me up and takes me out to the living room away from the fighting and yelling that has started.

I cry into the officer's chest, a female thankfully. She doesn't let me go when she sits me on the couch but I can't help to wish it was Edward who would have found me.

It feels like hours go by before everything is back under control. I have stopped crying but the turmoil of emotions has only begun. I have been asked a million questions and pictures have been taken of me as well as the bedroom.

"Your husband is here," The female officer who has stayed with me the entire time says in a soft voice.

The word husband ignites a deep burn in my chest and anger tears fill my eyes.

"Fuck him," My devil says, anger burning and taking over.

I am angry.

He wasn't here. This is his fault.

But it is also mine. I aided in this. I enabled his addiction.

But I am so angry with him and I don't know if I should be.

He wasn't there to protect me like he vowed to.

"Bella." His voice is soft. "I'm here, Bella."

He reaches out to me and I flinch being reminded of the last hands that were on me. Images of James and Laurent continue to flash in my head and I am silently panicking.

I need to get Edward away from me so I say the only thing that is on my mind. The honest truth that will hurt him.

"But you weren't." My eyes are locked with him as my voice breaks.

…

"So let me get this straight," Leah says after taking a sip of her hot pink colored drink I made her.

After last night, I needed a night out and away from Edward. Just some space to clear my mind or not really think about anything but quality time with my friends.

We're at the restaurant I've been working at. Leah comes often, she's reconciled with an old friend from her childhood so she's been in La Push more.

"He wanted to talk to you about that night and you kind of sort of freaked out on him?" Leah finishes her thought.

I nod slowly, thinking back to the look on Edward's face when I told him I can't forgive him.

My head boomed for days after and I really couldn't look him in the eye. I know I shouldn't feel bad, everything I said was true, but I really was in a wonderland thinking we could just ignore the topic of Vegas again.

I never prepared myself to talk about it after rehab and therapy sessions with Angela. I brought it up out of respect for the knowledge of my care so she could prescribe me the right meds. It sounds horrible but I chose to continue to ignore it, like I wish I was doing now. I never allowed myself to learn how to handle the thought of it because I was too scared to fully remember it.

My reaction wasn't what I wanted but I have never allowed myself to fully feel the emotions and they were once again too much for me to handle.

It didn't escalate more than me crying into Edward's chest before falling asleep holding on to him for dear life. I had just told him I can't forgive him and he stayed with me anyway.

The turmoil of feelings I tried so hard to suppress for years has been making my head spin.

Can I really let this be the hump Edward and I can't get over for our relationship to work?
I love him but just because I do doesn't mean I have to forgive him.

I was also an enabler of him. I participated in his games with him and I knew the dangers of doing so but my pride wouldn't let Edward have anyone else by his side, even if it was a job.

I left that night and couldn't tell him in person because we weren't supposed to be seen together. I could have made sure he saw I was leaving or I could have stayed so he actually had the chance to save me when I needed him.

Maybe it's the fact that I needed him in an unknowingly way, he chose the game over me.

We were only making our money one way at the time and we were both addicted to the incoming money but only I was the only one who got in trouble for it.

"I think that was a good response, Bella." Leah says, nodding like she is extra validating her answer.

It doesn't make me feel better though.

How can I ask him to be honest with me and then shut him down like I did? How can I ask him to let me in when I react in anger to what he is trying to say?

I can only blame it on the element of surprise so much.

Edward was obviously attempting to apologize and was trying to move past everything but I couldn't at that moment.

"Hey." Leah touches my hand. "How long has it been since you talked about that night?"

I snort and roll my eyes. "Years."

"And before your divorce did you ever talk about it with Edward?"

I shake my head slowly again.

"I am not saying this as your friend, but as someone who also has anger issues and has taken multiple anger management classes." She sighs and I can't help but laugh. "There's a difference between reacting and overreacting."

"Which one do you think I did?" I ask, already knowing what she will say but still needing to hear her say it.

"I think you reacted in the only way possible." I can tell she is being honest and not just being a friend as her brown eyes stare into mine. "You deserve to be angry at the past and he deserves to know how angry you are at it. You were both young and on top of the world but still selfish and living dangerously, sure, but it turned your wild, free and happy marriage upside down. You deserve to be angry at that. You loved him and you still do."

I take her words to heart. "I don't know if I can forgive him."

She sighs again. "Maybe not, but it wouldn't hurt to try."

…

Author's note: I hope you enjoyed a look back from Bella's POV. Did it change your opinion on Edward any? Let me know in the reviews! Also, next chapter will be the time jump we've all been waiting for and things will continue to get exciting.