What If...Brian Banner Wasn't Abusive?
"Up and at 'em!"
Bruce groaned and rolled over, covering his free ear to block out the sound of his dad's eager footsteps. It was five o'clock in the morning, and though he'd been warned of the early wake-up call, that didn't make him any more physically prepared to get out of bed at this hour. The door to his bedroom flew open and Dad called again, "We gotta get ready to go. We have some Ross ass to kick."
"I'll be down in five minutes," Bruce promised. He waited for Dad to leave, then heaved himself out of bed to get dressed. Thaddeus Ross, his father's coworker and best friend and basically an uncle to Bruce, had hosted a parent-child doubles tennis tournament every year since he moved back from New York. Bruce didn't even like tennis, but he was good enough at it that Dad insisted they enter.
Still barely awake, he shuffled into his clothes and into the bathroom. By the time he made it downstairs, Dad had breakfast, water bottles, and all their gear packed and ready to go. Bruce appreciated not having to do any more work at this hour, but sometimes Dad's enthusiasm drove him crazy. It was like being shepherded around by a hyperactive herding dog. The only time Dad mellowed out was when he had a few drinks in him, which was rare.
He ate in the passenger seat of the car on the drive to the country club while Dad rambled about technique. They'd been practicing for months now, on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Days Bruce would've preferred to spend reading or doing literally anything else. But every time he thought about how much he hated it, he reminded himself that at least he had a father who wanted to spend time with him. Many people couldn't say the same. And he knew Mom appreciated the alone time.
"So, are you excited?" Dad asked.
The goddamn sun hadn't even risen yet. "Yes," Bruce said forcefully.
"Me too."
It could be worse, Bruce reminded himself. He worked hard the rest of the drive to convince himself that he might even have a good time. Jen, Betty, Emil, and Sam would be there, all equally as annoyed to be dragged here by their parents. Bruce hoped they'd get some time to hang out without their parents around, especially if Emil was involved. He never went anywhere without carrying some of his favorite things.
They arrived at the club at six thirty in the morning. It was already crawling with rich old men setting out for eighteen holes. In fact, Bruce was easily the youngest person in sight by a few decades. He shouldered his bag and followed Dad to the court they'd reserved. Two couples already occupied the next two down the line. Mr. Ross grinned widely when he saw Bruce and his dad approaching. Betty flashed him a smile.
"Banner!" he called.
"Hey man, how's it going?" Dad asked. They embraced in what Bruce could only call the middle-aged man version of a bro hug. Bruce waved shyly at Betty, then rolled his eyes at their dads' embarrassing behavior. She giggled, and a warm flutter erupted in his chest. As their dads launched into a heated discussion of the latest office drama, Betty and Bruce wandered off together.
"I don't understand why they can't schedule this for an afternoon," she bemoaned. "It doesn't have to be so early."
"No kidding. If the sun's not up yet, I should have no reason to be either."
"Exactly."
"How often has your dad been making you practice for this thing?" Bruce asked.
"Twice a week. He tried to convince me to do three, but I put my foot down."
"Wish I could say the same. I have a hard time saying no to him."
"That's fair."
Emil, Sam, and Jen all arrived with their parents within a few minutes of each other and joined the cluster of teenagers. Bruce checked his watch. Only ten more minutes until the first match. He didn't even know who was playing whom first.
"Did you bring anything?" Sam asked Emil with a knowing nudge to his shoulder.
"Yeah. But I think we should wait until after." He gestured to their parents. "They're all gonna start day drinking when we finish up anyway, so they'll be less likely to notice."
"Okay," they all agreed.
Jen and her mom played Sam and his mom first, which was a totally unfair match-up since Sam played high school tennis. He was the only one among them to actually enjoy the sport, but he thought this tournament was as tedious and unnecessary as the rest of them. Bruce's dad had set up a double elimination bracket randomly for the five pairs, meaning they had to play even more before this whole thing finally ended.
Bruce and his dad won their first match against the Blonskys and advanced to play against the Rosses. Jen and Aunt Elaine lost, predictably, to the Sterns, but then beat the Blonskys in the first match of the elimination bracket. After a long morning of sweat—but fortunately no blood, like last year when Jen skinned her knee big time—the final match came down to the Banners versus the Sterns. Bruce knew he didn't stand a chance against Sam, but his dad probably outmatched Mrs. Stern.
The Sterns took the first set, but Bruce and his dad rose to the challenge and took the next set for their own. As much as he hated having to come here every year, Bruce had to admit he enjoyed the thrill of the challenge and the beaming proud smile Dad shot him every time they scored. That, and he looked forward to whatever Emil had in store for them afterwards.
The last set was a close match, coming to deuces multiple times, but in the end, Sam clinched it and won. Bruce feared his father would be mad that they lost, but he was still smiling. He even offered Bruce a hug for a job well done, which he couldn't help but accept.
"Thanks for playing with me. I'm really glad to have a son willing to do stuff like this."
"You're welcome. Thanks for forcing me into it. I actually had fun."
Predictably, all the adults ran off to get celebratory (or conciliatory) drinks. Bruce and the others turned to Emil eagerly. They strode off to the woods that ran adjacent to the golf course. Last year he'd brought a lunchbox full of pot brownies. This time, he dug around in his bag and pulled out three joints for them to share.
"You're the best," Sam proclaimed. He passed the lighter off to Bruce.
"Yeah man, this would barely be tolerable without you," Jen added.
"Any time, guys. But next year I'm taking you down, Samuel."
"In your dreams."
A small part of Bruce found that he actually wanted to work harder to maybe stand a chance of beating him next year. Then again, maybe that was just the weed talking.
For this chapter, my brain got stuck on "What's the opposite of anxious?" and it decided the answer to that question was "High on marijuana." So this happened.