It was a week after the incident and she was on her way to her first day in office. Her nose was swollen out and thanks to strong covering makeup the blue of it was almost covered. Last evening Mike had called Blake to set a meeting with her inner staff members for this morning so she brief them in on the decision she made an the official reason for her the moment she stepped in her office, she felt everybody's eyes on her. To break the up coming silence, she greeted her staff members. „Good morning everyone. I hope you all had fun while I wasn't here, because the good times are over." She lets out a small laugh to let them know, that she was just being silly. Matt laughs too and answered for the group. „Good Morning, Madam Secretary. We're glad you are back. We missed you."
She didn't miss the way, he avoided looking her in the face. She decided to cut it short and waved him off. „Thank you. I assumed we have a lot of work to catch up on, so I will just make my point. As you might see, I had a little incident." She had talked about it with Mike and then Nadine. She wouldn't tell the truth. Blake and Daisy already knew how she had managed to almost broke her nose, and they obviously needed to know to help her out, but that also was useful to have an eye on the press. The rest of her staff, left Jay and Matt hadn't to know that had happened and that her husband was abusing her. In the beginning she had disagreed with them, because she thought they had a right to know the truth, but the argument that finally changed her point of view, simply was the point that, the less people know about that incident, the less likely it will be printed on the front page of every news paper.
She glanced to Nadine, Blake and Daisy, who were standing in the far back of her office and inhaled deeply, before she spoke with a solid voice. „One day, I was out running around the block in the middle of the night, because I had to some compensation to do about a Sit. Room discussion, as I stumbled over my one feet." She let out a small huff. „And you all see, how that ended. A almost broken nose and a few bruises. The doctor apparently had to put me on bed rest for at least a few days and because the pain was still worst after that he said it had to be a full week. So I really am sorry, that you have to go through that and I left you on your own so abruptly with Deputy Secretary Cushing. But I'm also confident, that Nadine and Jay, as Deputy Secretary Cushing, did a great job. And to thank you all, I have a little gift for you." She pulled out a little dark blue box with a silk ribbon around. Looking up, she recognized the smile on Nadines lips. Briefly she returned a small nod and walked toward Matt. „Matt, would you do me the honor of accepting this?" The excited face he made warmed her heart and she handed him the box. „While Matt will open that for all of you, I will not miss the opportunity to thank all of you for the recovery wishes that reached me. Thank you." She gave everybody a smile, before her attention snapped back to Matt, who was shout out loud.
„Look! That's a coupon for the best restaurant in D.C.! Wow!" He had jumped up and had turned to his coworkers. „That's freaking amazing!" But then his brows creased. „But… But, But that is only for five." He looked irritated to Elizabeth. „You, you wont go with us?" Bess faced the group. „No, I won't come with you. That is a gift from me to you, so you can let out all your gossip and I'm not bordering you. You deserve this."
„But Ma'am…" She held up a hand and cut him off. „No buts. You deserve this. Also it is already a date. Tomorrow evening I'm expecting you all to leave office early to make it in time to that restaurant. And please, do not think give a damn about the prices. Please! Have a nice evening." Before she dismissed them all, she turned to Daisy. „Daisy, would you please hang back a second?" A short nod of her showed her irritation but also signaled that she understand that something was off.
Later that day Elizabeth sat on the couch in Mike B.'s living room. „You know, I told them the cover story, about the jogging and…, you know, they seemed to buy it. Also Jay and Matt. The others do know, of course they know, they worked on it with me…" She took a sip of the wine she held in her hand and Mike used the opportunity to interrupt her. „Yeah, I know. You repeated yourself over and over with it." He chuckled. „But you hadn't said a wort about, what Daisy had said." He seated himself next to her on the couch.
Bess first looked through her wine glass and turned it slightly to the right and left, before she began to speak. „Well, she was shocked. Understandably. She is fully on my side and had promised me to do her best. But she also had mentioned that I probably have to resign after this, because reelection is right about the corner, -which, by the way, is a bit exaggerated, if you ask me. It still is almost a full two years time, but however-." Bess turned her focus to Mike. „She almost sounded like Russel." Mike chuckled. „But she is right. Out of a political point of view. It is suicide."
Bess focus had returned to the glass in her hands. „I know." After a short pause she looked up and met his eyes. „I had Blake scheduled a meeting with the president, which quickly turned in a dinner at the White House or something like that."
Before Mike had the chance to say something, her eyes lit up as she told him her staff's reaction to her gift. „They all were surprised and I would swear I had seen even a little excitement in Nadines eyes." She chucked. „They hadn't expected something like this. Thank you for that brilliant idea." Mike gave her a small nod. „You're welcome."
„Sorry, I haven't even asked how your day was. Would you mind to share?" She sat straight up and turned her attention fully to him. „Haven't you said something about seeing Dr. Margraff?" Mike looked her in the face. „I did, yeah. First of all, I had to find a freaking parking spot -and good luck with that in the middle of day light in D.C.- but after I had figured it out, I went in. Dr. Margraff had everything set up. Including Andrews paperwork. He had a few phone calls with him and Andrew seems okay with that divorce, although he had a first condition. He wants one ‚last' thing," Mike drew inverted commas in the air at the word ‚last'. „I don't think that is a major problem just a pole in the road." He sighed. „And about my conditions?"
„Nothing unexpected. Understandably he is okay with you keeping the houses, but wants to get paid out his half of Georgetown." Bess hummed. „Well yes, that is understandably. Any further conditions?"
„Nothing that I am aware of." „So it is final?" „Yeah. Seems so. He had agreed as you have. Even if there will follow some disagreements about the who gets what, you both are on the safe side and are divorced by midday in two days if you want. Dr. Margraff had mentioned something about the judge being in a complicated open court case, which should be closed by then." „That sounds good. Until then, I have time to talk to the president and to my staff. They deserve it to hear it from me. Something new from the FBI?"
„Ah, right. The reports were directly send to your Lawyer. He is asking you, if you'll plan to bring this to court, because then you have to decide wether you place this for or after the divorce." A short huff escaped her. „You don't have to decide that today. At least not if you want to do it after the divorce." His voice was fading in the air and barely above a whisper.
A long time it was quiet and they both looked through the window outside, then Mike spoke up again, but never stoped looking outside. „You still love him." It was a statement, not a question. She didn't answered. It was quiet. After a few minutes without a reaction from her, he turned his gaze and gave her a look. There she sat slumped in the corner of the couch with silent tears streamed down her face. To see her like that, after all Andrew had done to her, broke his heart. Silent he reached out and embraced her in his arms. „It is going to be okay. Believe me, Bess. It will become easier. I had done this, so you can do it too."
Seated at her desk, she raised her gaze to Blake, who was now entering her office. „Ma'am. Your dinner is in an hour, I suggest it is time to get ready." Elizabeth nodded and arose from her chair. After a quick look at the clock on the far right corner of the table top, before she spoke up. „Your dinner is in thirty."
„Yeah, I know. I just wanted to check in with you quickly. The others are already by the elevator." He shot her a concerned look. „And it is really no problem for you? I mean, it is kind of weird, that you won't go with us." „Oh really, Blake. It is fine. Also I have a dinner with the president of the United States." She chucked. „Don't worry. I will get through the evening on my own." She tried to resume him, but couldn't quite believe herself. „Now, will you please go and have some fun." Blake lifted his arms in defend and turned around. „As you wish. Have a nice evening, Madam Secretary." „You too, Blake."
Then she was alone. After a few minutes of uncertainly she decided to follow Blake's suggestion. In the time she needed to touch up her make up and change in her evening outfit, the panic arose in her. How was she supposed to tell the president that her life became a mess, that she headed for divorce and that her husband, ex-husband, had caused her that broken nose? How? A hand pressed against her chest and tried to settle her breathing. A panic attack wouldn't be helpful. Especially when she was on her own. In the past, Andrew was there when ever she had needed him. But now... Now she had to work herself through it, without his help, comfort and calming voice. A sob escaped her. Her brain wandered to other, much deeper memories as she tried to lower her distress. Memories, she had banned, but yet they were back. Full force.
Before she realized what she had just did, her hand was in her bag and searched for that one thing that had helped her so many times in the past to decrease the panic and to forget the awful things that shaded the better part of her child and adult hood. So much pain was caused and that had been her only thing to keep her going. As she had walked forward her private bathroom, she paused for a moment. Was she really on the way to do a life threatening mistake twice? If she did it, then that would be the evidence of loosing control and the point of no return. She knows that because she already had been there. But before she had changed her mind, her rising panic urged her to walk on.
The burning pain had her settled within minutes. She inhaled deeply and leaned her head back against the cold tiles. The worries and fears forgotten, she just savored her high.
Rushing through the crowed room in the private room, she shot a short look at her wrist watch and cursed. She was late, too late. You don't make the president wait for you. After she had nodded to the two agents in front of the door, she pushed it open. „Excuse me, Mr. President…" she stopped mid sentence and look confused from one to the other.