Chapter 33: I just wanna let it go for the night (Memories – David Guetta)

AN: I am overwhelmed by your feedback!

"Take me home." her words sent goosebumps down his body and he closed his eyes. "Elizabeth," he breathed her name, "you don't know what you're doing to me." When he felt her hand on his cheek, he opened them again. Her blue eyes seemed to draw him to her, butterflies buzzing in his stomach.

"Henry," her voice was tender and instead of finishing the sentence, she leaned back toward him and brushed her lips against his. When she broke away from him again, she whispered again, "Please, take me home." This time he couldn't resist. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up with ease.

His gaze only then slid around his surroundings. Suddenly unsure, he asked, "Where are the others?" He wanted to give her the opportunity to stop him in time and thus avoid a chance meeting that might make her uncomfortable. She seemed to understand what he meant, but did not avert her gaze from him as she spoke, "I don't care. Come on, let's go."

Henry obeyed and carefully set her down on the floor. "Well then, Madam Secretary, lead the way." there was a wide grin on his lips. She gave him a skeptical look at the mention of her title, but then turned with a grin on her lips and strode ahead.

As they entered the room, they didn't catch sight of Conrad or Mike. Briefly, Henry looked around before hurrying behind Elizabeth, who had already opened the large heavy doors and was now holding the door open for him. When he reached her, she grinned at him "Matt says Conrad and Mike have just left." "And didn't say goodbye?," Henry looked at her irritated. "Do you really think that's such a shame now? I mean ..." He had to laugh at her mischievous smile. "True again. I'm not saying anything." Defensively, he raised his hands in the air.

Making their way to their townhouse, their lips had found each other again and their hands had framed the other's body. The soundproof partition in the car hid them from the prying eyes of their agents. It had been the first time in a very long time that she was not alone on the way home on choice. Inwardly, she had to laugh at her agents, who had given her first a briefly irritated look and then a well-wishing smile.

As soon as the front door had closed behind them, Henry had pressed her back against it and, while pressing her hands against the door above her head, had kissed her deeply. It had taken quite a while for them to break away from each other and for Elizabeth to give him a somewhat shy tour of her nevertheless very spacious home. And again for a moment, until they had both found themselves tightly embraced on the sofa with one wine bottle after the other. His hands slid through her hair and his fingertips played with her strands. Her fingertips lightly painted patterns on his back. They lay together, enjoying the togetherness.

"Do you want ice cream?," Elizabeth jumped up and ran toward the kitchen. "Um," confused, Henry looked after her, her action was unexpected and somehow brought uneasiness. On the other hand, the silence between them had become almost unbearable. They both seemed to have been skulking around each other, neither however able to make the first move and start a conversation, "Yeah, I'd love to."

He heard her smile as she called over her shoulder, "What would you like? I have pistachio, nut, marshmallow, and really boring vanilla ice cream there." Henry had to laugh 'Very boring vanilla ice cream.' "I think I'll be really boring and go with the vanilla ice cream." The rustling in the kitchen soon died away and Elizabeth approached him with two ice cream packets and two forks. As she dropped down on the sofa beside him, he eyed her with a tilted head. "The whole carton right away? Ms. Adams, I wouldn't have expected that from you. And," Henry had to laugh, "what's this?" He reached for the forks and held them up. "Forks?"

Elizabeth had to laugh as well, "I always eat my ice cream with a fork. It goes so much better." Meeting Henry's gaze, she added a little uncertainly after, "Don't you? I can give you a spoon if you prefer." She had almost jumped up again when Henry held her back with his hand on her thigh. "It's all right. It's a pleasure to eat ice cream with forks with you." He gave her a friendly smile, which she returned. After a moment of them just eating ice, he had to laugh again. „Forks…," he gave her a sugary smile, "but you're right, it really is better this way."

Embarrassed, she quickly turned her gaze back to the ice pack in her hands. The cold a welcome contrast on her otherwise glowing skin. 'Go on, Elizabeth, do it.' She had been under tension all evening. She had only just controlled the restlessness and panic. Since leaving the bathroom with Conrad, she had pulled herself together. She enjoyed Henry's company, but still her nerve endings were on alert. Surely, the alcohol helped her block out a part of her body and head that were literally screaming at her. It had been ages since anyone had kissed and touched her like this. Full of love, affection and tenderness.

Just now, in the kitchen, she had looked again for the first time in a long time for the hidden box. The can whose contents immediately relaxed her and took away her panic and fear. She had let her long thin fingers run over the label. In her mind over and over again the thought, 'what do you want to happen today?' The pills were swallowed faster than she remembered. The taste hadn't been that bad either.

She set the ice down on the coffee table and reached for her glass, downing the rest of her wine. His eyes followed her every move. She sensed him looking at her with narrowed eyebrows. She reached for the wine bottle and refilled herself the glass to the brim before setting it down again and downing it. She felt like she needed to give him an explanation for her behavior, which is why she said with a sheepish grin on her face, "You know, then there won't be any red wine stains on the good carpet if I..." Before he could answer, she had swung a leg over his lap and brought her hands to his cheeks. She tilted her head and pressed her lips against his, using her hands to pull him against her. She broke away from him briefly to finish her sentence, "doing this." Her whispered words sent a visible chill down his body. She lowered herself onto his legs and pressed her pelvis against his. Her movement, elicited a moan from him.

She had determined to prevent her head from ruining this evening for her. She wanted it. Heavens, she had always wanted it. Nothing in the world would stop her. It was a free choice. Her choice. She was forced by no one, obligated by no one, and most of all, bottled up by no one for it until she lay unconscious in the corner and... and everyone could do what they wanted to her. She had to swallow as dark memories rose in her. But the feeling of his hands on her bare skin did not go away. Desperately, she shook her head to sort out her thoughts.

He seemed to sense her discomfort. He brought his hands to her shoulders and pushed her away from him a bit so he could look into her eyes. "Elizabeth, ..." he began, but she shook her head again. "No, I..."

"Elizabeth, I should go." She looked at him with wide eyes. "No, please. I..." she looked uncertainly at her hands, which she moved restlessly between her bodies, "I haven't felt this way in a long time." She finally got up the courage to look at him. "I, you know, went through all that shit in the past few months and years and...and...I...I want to. It's different with you. I can feel that. I...I don't want you to leave."

In his eyes she could see glimmers of uncertainty, he was silent. "Please say something," she begged him. She watched as he averted his gaze from her and let it slide around the room. When his eyes returned to hers, he didn't speak, just leaned forward and brought his lips to hers. Gently at first, then with more force. When he pulled back again, he leaned his forehead against hers and whispered, "Elizabeth, I feel it too. Heavens, I've felt it before. You have to promise to talk to me, though. You have to let me in. Have to tell me what makes you feel unsafe. Whether it's brushing my teeth with the water running or tea instead of coffee in the morning. Please..." There was a brief silence between them, then he continued, "Please, you have to let me in. I know this right here has potential."

His words sent a rush of emotion through her. Softly, very softly, she whispered, "I promise." Then his lips met hers.

AN: Sorry you had to wait so long for an update. My life has been... eventful. I think that describes it pretty well. A week ago, I lost one of my brothers. It was an accident, which makes it even more horrible. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. Then shortly after that there was a tumor diagnosis with my mom.

In addition, other events are depressing me at the moment. It is so damn blatant that just a (almost) neighboring country is in an active war overnight. The thought of what if is damnscary.

I don't know yet when I will be able to update the next time. Especially since now the exam period starts again and that will be turbulent enough with the current personal events. Nevertheless I didn't want to withhold this chapter from you. I didn't revise it much. I hope I managed to finish the story for now. Maybe it will grab me again and I will continue writing.

Many, many thanks for all the support. Remember to tell your loved ones that you love them. Love to all of you, take care 3