When they were teenagers, before leaving the Isle of the Lost, before Auradon, Harry feared many times for Uma's life. And she for his. In this place, it was an everyday thing to be exposed to danger. Harry lost count of the nights that Uma could have died, when Harry simply couldn't keep his calm while seeing her hurt, or unconscious; countless seconds of agony, of burning pain that almost drove him crazy, because Uma was always his world.
Now, as if the time had been modified to go slower, although he knows that everything happens in a second, Harry sees Desiree take Nerea from Uma's arms as she falls, and moves on instinct, full of cold decision and sanity. Because their daughter needs them, and he can't go crazy right now. He needs to get Uma to stay with him.
He prevents her from hitting herself when she falls to the ground; he watches her gaze blur and she tries to say something, but she can't. The next instant, Uma is unconscious.
"Gil," Harry says loudly, and his heart rate shoots up as he feels his cheeks heat up with nervousness. His hands may have started to shake, but Harry tries hard to control himself. "Any plants for this?"
Before answering, Gil is already halfway down the stairs.
"I think I have something".
Harry lifts Uma's weight to accommodate her on his legs, and sees Desiree gently coo to Nerea, glancing at Uma, concerned. Gonzo is close to her, ready for anything. Bonny and Jonas in the defensive part of the ship, and Mal, Ben and Evie crouch next to Harry, but he imperceptibly pushes Uma away from them, protective.
"Uma!" Ben exclaims, really disturbed. "My God, we will go for help".
He beckons to Mal and she nods, the two of them get up, but Harry stops them.
"Go get my sister, her ship is near".
Mal nods and they disembark in a second. Evie looks guilty, perhaps thinking it was all an effect of the disturbing news that led to Revenge Lost, and she stands up after a moment's hesitation.
"I'll go with them, we'll be back in a moment".
So Harry stays with the crew as they listen to Gil rummage through bottles and barrels for something.
"Uma hasn't been well, right?" Bonny asks, moving closer. Of all the crew members, Bonny was always the most reluctant to openly show feelings or concern, which has helped her now that they have all reverted to old habits of mistrust. However, right now she seems scared, and Harry can see that the others are too. Even Jonas, with his usual rudeness. "Harry, what is it?"
He sighs and shakes his head softly, his eyes sad and thoughtful. They cannot hide it forever. Uma is sometimes too reserved, but her pirates deserve to know what is going on because only then can they help her. Because they are family. Because, just as they trust her, Uma should trust them.
"I suppose the whole Auradon shipping business is taking its toll on her. Besides… well, she hasn't been able to feed Nerea well. She does not have breast milk".
Harry doesn't need to say more, and he also sees immediate understanding in their eyes. He always knew that they would not judge her, that they would not think less of her worth or strength, because even if that had been what motivated them to follow her in the first place, what unites them now is a much more complex bond than status or strength. or the protection they can acquire by being with her.
"Shit, Captain," Bonny mutters, reaching over to brush a lock of hair from Uma's face. The gesture is full of inexperienced affection, "She must be having a really bad time. And she didn't tell us".
It probably has to do with the fact that Uma always thought she was alone in the world. That she must carry all responsibilities on her shoulders. Through the years, she has only accepted that Harry carry the weight of her as well.
"Yeah, that explains a lot," Jonas agrees, his voice full of a kind of accusation, but it takes Harry a moment to realize is concern.
At that moment, Gil appears again. He carries a bunch of herbs in his hand and a bottle of alcohol. He kneels next to her and puts some of the liquid on the plants, after that, he makes Uma smell it.
"Madam Mim's books are incredibly useful," he mentions, and Harry can see that his hand is shaking. Uma's reaction isn't instantaneous, but Harry notices her cheeks starting to blush, her skin warming. And he just accommodates her and hugs her, searching for the pulse of her heart as if to reaffirm that she is still alive.
He doesn't allow his own emotion to overtake him, he stands firm and focused, concentrating on the shape of Uma's eyebrows, on the curve of her lips. In things that hold him to the ground and don't allow his mind to wander to dark corners.
Then Ben, Mal and Evie approach, followed by another person, a tall young woman, and Harry recognizes his sister's black hair and her bulging belly.
"What happened?" Harriet asks, without ceremony or greeting, but she doesn't crouch next to them, she can't, so Harry picks Uma up and stands up with her.
"She just collapsed. Gil gave her that," he nods in the direction of the plants Gil used, and Harriet nods.
"Well done, she will have to react in a few minutes," she says.
Harry turns to her because, first, he doesn't plan to let anyone on the dock or in the market know that Uma fainted. It sounds too much of a weak princess waiting for the life-giving kiss, although Harry and everyone know that she is far from it. Harriet won't betray them, or so Harry hopes, because of the closeness they once had, before their lives changed. She won't do it because she understands what it's like to need to take care of a child, even if her baby hasn't been born yet.
Also, when they were kids, she used to heal him and CJ. She learned from her mother, before she died, some herbal medicine things, so she seems like their best choice.
"Take her to rest in her cabin," Harriet suggests, and she heads for the stairs, "come on, I'll stay until she wakes up".
For a seven-month-pregnant woman, she is quite agile going down the wooden stairs, and Gil walks in front of her, ready to catch her if she loses her balance or falls. Fortunately, she makes it safely to the lower deck.
They walk down the hall to the captain's cabin and Gil opens the door for Harriet and Harry to enter, lights some of the candle lamps that Uma keeps for lighting, and the woody room fills with a soft warm glow. Harry places Uma, very carefully, on her bed, making sure that her neck is well positioned so that she will not be in pain when she wakes up. She seems just asleep, calm, and Harry caresses her cheek, a barely sustained brush, before he realizes what he's doing.
"I'm going back now, let me know of any changes," Gil says, and walks out the door after patting Harry on the back. What would he do without his brother?
"Give her to me," Harry says to Desiree, who has followed them here with Nerea, and she passes the baby to him, accommodates her in Harry's arms, which seem to be the girl's place, made precisely so that she can be there. Harry still remembers the strange feeling that ran through him the first time he held her, as if everything in the world was rearranged and took on another meaning, as if happiness and anguish were ten thousand times more intense. He remembers thinking at that moment that he was forever linked to her, that there was not, nor would there ever be, something that could change the love he felt for Nerea. That he would protect her with his life. That he and Uma would give everything for her.
"Any idea why she fainted?" Harriet asks, pulling him out of his thoughts. However, he does not manage to take his eyes off Nerea's face until well afterwards and then he realizes that Desiree left.
"Well," Harry begins, looking at his sister, who seems thoughtful. He knows that neither of them is used to seeing the other this way. The last time they saw each other, they were just children crawling into adulthood. And Harry does not know what has happened in Harriet's life since then, he only knows that the fire in her gaze has not changed and that she is still captain of her ship. "I think she has been too pressured. And in shock".
He doesn't need to say why, Harriet understands.
"I heard what happened a few days ago," says his sister, sitting at Uma's desk and sighing at the relief of her exhaustion. "The whole business of thieves".
Harry feels the weight of so many things falling on his back and he's honestly not sure he can handle it all. It's like a thousand things happen at once and everything is out of his or Uma's control. Living on the isle was never easy, but it was less bad when they were just children. Back then they could only imagine what freedom was like and dreamed of achieving it one day, even if many of them, like Harry himself, didn't really think that day would come. At least, back then, dreaming was allowed.
Now, everything is different. People still can't believe what Auradon decided, that this was the safest, best way. Many had made families there, many left friends behind and, once they come out of their stupor completely, they will simply look for someone to take it out on. Even if they tried to learn that love was a good and desirable thing, now all they know is that love is what makes them want to die. Even at that, Harry knows that, in a way, he is lucky. The love of his life is with him, even amid so much misery, even when everything in the air of the island screams that something violent is about to break, that it will explode at any second.
Thieves, plotters... the island has always been full of them. There have always been angry people, and if Uma and Harry were able to survive before, when they just survived, now that they have Nerea they will find the strength to protect their people. Harry is sure they will.
"Evie says there might be some group planning to harm us," Harry tells Harriet. "And Uma can't feed Nerea. We have been giving her rice milk for the last few days".
Harriet assesses the situation, her gaze hard and her arms crossed, staring at Harry.
"And you didn't think of asking me for help?" She asks, anger creeping into her voice. "Listen, Harry, I know we haven't talked in years. We were never too close, but I'm still your family, you know?"
He knows. Truly. Even with the whole situation of CJ gone for years, even if his father's ship is only feet away and Harry hasn't seen him since before the barrier fell, he can't ignore that Harriet was once his mischief mate, a sister to Uma.
"You know her," Harry sighs. "And it is very hard to her. I was convincing her".
The anger leaves Harriet's eyes and she suddenly looks very, very tired. There is no trace of the brilliance and radiance that surrounded Uma when she was pregnant, and which, according to what Harry knows, is common to find when a woman is expecting a baby. None of the hopeful light, not a bit of calm in her features.
"She's always been too stubborn, I don't know how you stand her," says Harriet, looking at Uma, but Harry knows she doesn't mean to really offend her. Harriet has never been particularly affectionate, but she would never have gone to Lost Revenge if she didn't care about Uma. When Uma became one of the isle's most respected pirate captains, Harriet even looked up to her, and Harry can see that that feeling hasn't quite gone away. "Harry, can I ask you a question?"
The melancholic tone of his sister takes him by surprise, although the unintelligible expression has not disappeared from her face. Nerea flails in her father's arms and Harry takes a while to reassure her, gently cooing and kissing her warm cheek. She snuggles into him and, again, Harry is surprised at how small she is. When he sees her, he can only observe greatness and grandeur. Just like when he sees Uma.
So Harriet almost thinks the question is forgotten, but then Harry speaks again.
"Shoot".
"How did it feel to see her being born there?" Harriet almost vomited the question, afraid she would regret it if she waits another second. Harry is half surprised, but he also understands what is behind it, and that Harriet is not interested in the details about how it was the best day of Harry's life, but longs to know, imagine, what it feels like to see they birth of daughter and think that she has a world, a life and freedom in her little hands. No regrets, just a tender illusion unknown to pirates like them. Emotions that they never believed they were made for.
And, by all the demons of the sea, Harry never believed that he would ever have a family, or that he and Uma could openly love each other. The recognition of that makes his heart beat relentlessly as he strokes Nerea's plump cheeks.
"I couldn't describe it to you, Harriet," he says honestly. "The universe and existence make sense, and everything is full of possibilities."
Because even though they just can't think of Auradon right now without feeling hatred rushing up their throats like bile, even Harry can't deny that Auradon always meant a lot of dreams and promises, even if they didn't plan to stay there for long. Shortly before they were locked up again, Uma, Harry, and Gil had started planning their first scouting trip. They were full of dreams and hungry for treasure, despite knowing that now they had the most valuable, the most precious of them all. Nerea.
Harriet snorts.
"Damn, you're so fucking soft".
Harry opens his mouth to reply something sarcastic when Uma lets out a hoarse groan, and he leans closer, cradling Nerea so that she hides her head in his neck and Harry's grip allows him to move quite a bit without endangering her. He holds her with one hand while, with the other, he caresses Uma's cheek. Nerea lets out a groan as well, half wanting to start crying, but then calms down and only moves her mouth a little, signaling to Harry that she is hungry.
"Easy, darling," he tells Uma, that just opened her chocolate eyes and tries to process what happened. "You passed out, Gil helped you. Everything is well now".
She nods once in silence, takes a deep breath, and then extends her arms, albeit with a tired expression, for him to give her Nerea. And Harry places their daughter close to her, even though Uma isn't quite awake yet, holding her as a precaution.
"Fainting is common when a stressful situation overtakes you," says Harriet, and Uma looks to the new voice. "Hey, Uma".
"Harriet," Uma says, her voice hoarse, her eyes alert. "What are you doing here?"
Harry's sister laughs, a laugh that is half as soft and teasing.
"It shouldn't be new. Something happened to you, my brother panicked, so someone came looking for me to help. Like old times".
Harry frowns, offended.
"I didn't panic."
Harriet rolls her eyes and smiles.
"I guess I have to admit it".
Uma tries to sit up on the bed, leaning down a little to kiss Nerea's face.
"You look... good," she tells Harriet, and it's certainly a bit awkward moment. They are not strangers, they are far from being unknown, but, in a certain part, she does not recognize the woman sitting in front of her. Harriet raises an eyebrow and then her usual cheeky expression softens.
"You guys look good too," she says. "A lot has happened. Can I meet Nerea?"
"Sure, sorry, I forgot," Harry replies, and takes the baby to his sister, who tries to hold her and settle her down. Harry is so busy staring at Nerea that he loses her expression, half bewildered, surprised, and moved, but Uma does see her. And something, she doesn't know what, but something there, makes her recognize herself. Her heart clenches with aching understanding. "Look, starfish, this is your Aunt Harriet".
Harry's voice is soft, so soft… only in this intimacy, only here, with his family. Uma knows it, because his voice is harsh and sharp and threatening on the outside. There, in the cold world, he returns to being madness and dangerousness. And it's that contrast what makes him Harry, and Uma wouldn't want it any other way. And it may be because she has just woken up after fainting and everything feels a little weird, or because the image of Harry seeing Nerea with such idolatry, of her family in a safe moment, but suddenly it is too overwhelming.
Uma feels her chest tighten, all the love falling above her like a relentless tornado. And it is not soft, it is not pure tenderness, although there is a lot of that, not just fierce protection.
"She's so tiny and beautiful," Harriet comments to Harry, smiling.
"Yes, she is," Harry is lost for a moment. "I'll go tell Gil and the others that Uma is fine".
Uma nods.
"Tell Mal and Ben to go home, we'll talk to them later," Uma orders, and Harry nods.
"I need to get back to the Tempest," says Harriet. Then she gives Harry an eloquent look. "But I'll be there, you know, in case you need anything".
He nods seriously and rushes to put Nerea in Uma's arms and give her a quick kiss. The contact is swift, wet, and it sends a stream of fire through her veins.
"I'll be right back".
And once Uma is alone, she just loses herself on her daughter's features, memorizing the roundness of her cheeks, the way her hair starts to curl a little, just a little, so she knows that she will have the same curly hair as her
Uma doesn't deserve her, does she? Because honestly, how could Nerea want her as her mother? It seems like no matter how hard she try, she just doesn't feel worthy at all.
Nerea is asleep, but her features wrinkle with discomfort and suddenly she awakens, so Uma finds that familiar blue gaze. Nerea's expression softens, she fills with tranquility.
"I'm your ma," she whispers to her, her lips barely brushing her forehead. Just because she needs to hear her own voice affirming it. She realizes that her voice is broken, so broken and tired, that it hardly sounds like her voice. "I am…"
But she cannot express everything she is, everything she wants to be, for Nerea. Because she never believed that she was going to hold her in her arms, because she seems only a bright light in the sea, a star that is reflected in the waves, ungraspable, and Uma wants so desperately to reach her. Protect her, love her, watch her grow, because she remembers the feeling of not knowing how much she loved her, that she loved her, until Uma knew Nerea was growing inside her, and then until she carried and protected her in her chest.
Uma doesn't cry. She just hugs her against herself, closes her eyes and feels her heartbeat, and feels her hands open and close around one of her braids, tugging a bit, but it's not like she wants to hurt her, but like she wants to get closer, clinging to Uma, with her demanding fingers.
Harry said that Nerea won't stop loving her for something Uma can't control, and she knows he's right, because they are united by something much deeper, more important. And Uma feels it, pulling from her stomach.
Nerea still does not know what is happening around her, she does not know about despair or anger or unease, she does not know injustice or pain, but Harry and Uma are her only certainty. The only thing real, constant, tangible.
She must find a way, she decides. Uma is willing to reach the smallest corner of the Isle, if it means finding a solution. So, Uma takes a decision at that moment, and gets out of bed, lulling Nerea to sleep.
When she comes out into the hallway, she sees Gil coming down the stairs, probably on his way to see her, because Gil seems relieved. However, when he notices the dangerous gleam in her gaze, he frowns.
"Uma?" He asks, puzzled. "Are you feeling good enough…? Shouldn't you rest?"
She walks up to him with her usual furious and cheeky steps, kisses Nerea briefly and puts her in his arms. A bewildered Gil takes the baby and opens his mouth to say something, but Uma gives him a look that makes him shiver a little.
"I'm coming back soon, take care of her until Harry arrives".
Gil cannot protest his captain's orders, but he advances behind her, who is already halfway up the stairs, heading towards the upper deck. Uma has always been stubborn, but Gil realizes that now she could be about to commit something crazy.
When Uma reaches the upper deck, she sees her crew assembled, some sitting on barrels and others leaning on the main mast; they seem to have been talking, they look worried and sad. There are no usual laughs or harsh sounds. Everyone looks at her as soon as they hear her hard footsteps.
"Uma!" Gil shouts behind her, but he doesn't want to run, afraid of stumbling and hurting Nerea.
"Captain?" Jonas asks, his brows frozen in a puzzled expression. "Are you okay, where are you going?"
Uma makes a gesture with her hand as if to dismiss the matter.
"I'm fine. I'll be right back. Take care of Nerea".
She never needs to tell them, but the fact that she does now is scary. Uma is disembarking in a minute and the others turn to Gil.
"Someone go find Harry," Gil says. "Fast".
Desiree and Gonzo get up right away, ready to disembark behind Uma, because she is quick and stealthy. It's lucky that Harry is coming back to the ship at that point, because, before either of them reaches him, he has already seen Uma's cascade of braids on the dock. He glances towards the Lost Revenge, where he sees Gil with Nerea in his arms and his gaze catches that of his best friend, who shrugs and looks at him apprehensively.
Harry runs to Uma, ready to catch up, because he knows she isn´t fine. She's at her breaking point, on the verge of her emotions, so Harry needs to anchor her again. He knows that he is the only one who can do it.
"Captain", he calls her, taking her by the hand when he reaches her, with a strong grip, because he knows her and knows that she will try to get away. "Uma. Uma. Look at me. What are you doing?"
And she does look at him, but it is through a slightly annoyed look.
"I'm just trying to find a solution," she replies. "Let me go, Harry".
It is an order, and he has never disobeyed her orders. He did not disobey her when she ordered him to stay with Gil and the others the day she swam to Auradon, and she was left alone for a long time. Harry knows her perfectly, he knows that she will push her limits until she breaks, because that is what Uma does, take care of others. Finding solutions. And now he must do it for her.
Harry feels his heart break because he has never, never done this. But he can't bear to see her get hurt again, so instead of letting her go, he pulls her against him and closes his strong arms around her. Uma is so thin and small, although for him she has always been, and will be, enormous in her greatness, in the fury that Harry loves with his life.
"Let me go, Harry Hook!" Uma bites him, kicks him, tries to nudge him, but Harry doesn't release his grip. Then something inside her finally explodes and it's like all the desperation she's felt in the last month and a half just floods her. She screams in the middle of the severed night, insults and threatens him, beyond fury, beyond agony. Harry presses her against him, feeling nauseous from doing this to her, until Uma's voice becomes hoarse and raspy, and she cries because she feels her throat is raw. Then, in a second that seems eternal, Uma finally snuggles into him, hides in him and it is no longer Harry who is holding her but she who clings to his body, so Harry hugs her and kisses her face, taking away the salty tears with his lips.
Uma has always been strong, incredibly strong. And Harry thinks anyone would have given up by now, but not Uma. His Uma, never.
"I feel so guilty," Uma says in a broken voice, still half sobbing, half trying to calm herself. Her words gush out, like she's trying to get them out before she regrets it, so he rocks her a bit, letting her know he's there. "I love her, Harry. I love her so much. And I don't know if I'm worthy of her. And I wish I had never brought her here. She doesn't deserve this".
He swallows his own tears that threaten to come out, appeases the feeling of emptiness that opens in his stomach. How many times did Uma comfort him while he cried? How many comforting words had she whispered to him, and how many times has he sought protection on her? It seems to be uncountable.
"I know, Captain," he says, knowing that she likes to be called that. "I know. I love her too. And I love you. I know that Nerea loves us, Uma. You are not a bad mother, nor could you have known this would happen. Sometimes things are not in your hands, lass".
"I wish they were".
"But they are not," he replies. "Not everything, at least. She is here and it is painful to think about the uncertainty, but it is fortunate that she is with us and not with other people, right? Because we are going to protect her with our last breath. Nerea is our treasure. What do pirates do with their treasures?"
"Protect them", Uma is very close to him, so close that she can listen to the rhythm of his heart to calm herself.
"So that's what we will do. And we will find a way to feed her, and we will find a way to raise her here. You are sea and life, Uma. Even here, you always meant vitality, so you are worthy. You've always been".
She nods thoughtfully. She doesn't feel completely at peace, but the fury, the relentless tsunami of her soul, subsides. And she knows Harry is right, because no matter how much she wishes things to be different, at least for now, this is what it is. Uma wants to give Nerea happy days, and Harry, Gil and the crew. She can't help but remember their anguished expressions.
They stay there for a few more minutes, until Uma manages to calm down and stop sobbing, and then she leads the way to Lost Revenge. For Harry, Uma has always been the saving lighthouse announcing that he is home. His compass, accurate and determined.
At this moment, they both know that there is no way out of the Isle. That someone might want to attack their family. That Auradon could forget about them forever. But they also know that happiness is in the warmth of Nerea in their arms, between their bodies when they sleep at night, and in Gil's sudden laugh at one time of the day, or in the singing of the crew while they work, joking, and the looks that Harry and Uma share, without words, but full of meaning and complicity and unconditional love...