Chapter Four – The Rabbit Hole
Violence was a straightforward, clear language for Cynthia – one that was more likely to be respected in Marley. Ever since she was a child, she found roughhousing was an effective way to communicate her displeasure with those who upset her. As she got older, the roughhousing was refined into boxing and then hand to hand combat once she was conscripted. Violence was her messenger and receiver. So when she walked past her previous Marley counterparts and the jeering started, a primal part of her mind and her self-control were at odds.
"Like your special treatment White Fox? I bet you think you deserve it," a soldier muttered from where he kneeled to the ground, under the Eldians watchful eyes. Cynthia didn't even know his name, yet he knew hers. She reserved a unique fury for that fact – that they would always know her. And that they would always only know her as the eighteen-year-old Eldian girl crazy enough to run enemy lines. The girl so desperate for their approval she risked her life over, over and over again, only for them to -
"Tempest! You turn your back on us now? You should be in the mud with the rest of us," someone else said, a little more loudly. Cynthia wanted to pick up the pace to whatever tent she was being escorted to, but her entourage kept walking. They watched the spectacle unfold, unaware of what it may escalate to. Though it was clear from their side-eyeing, they were displeased.
"Knew you were always a devil girl, Tempest. Hope you enjoy mixing with your own kind," another man shouted.
"Yes, enjoy being their White Bitch. Coward," a man close by said, face turned toward her. Before even thinking about it, Cynthia parted from the group, driving her heel into the defenceless man's temple. The other soldiers started yelling, the Eldians on guard pointing their weapons to deescalate the situation. Cynthia couldn't even manage words, vibrating under the weight of the intense hatred she felt. She simply spat on the ground next to where he writhed in pain. Fresh blood started to ooze from her leg wound, a sharp pain shooting through her thigh. Hands went to restrain her, but she shrugged them off.
"Don't touch me", Cynthia hissed, avoiding eye contact with everyone around her. Hange spoke up, cutting through the tension that hung so thickly in the air.
"Ah, ha! I think we found the lucky man to play our leverage," the woman said, striding over and looming over the man with a callous smile.
"Are you okay, Niccolo?" someone whispered to the blonde man, who still clutched his head in his hands.
"Niccolo? Great name," Hange joked. The humour was out of place, but it strangely relived Cynthia's tension. "I hope you like questions, Niccolo."
Niccolo was silent, concentrating on breathing through his pain. Cynthia stood back, indicating she was freely moving on. Hange, Levi and the others lead her to a large tent dimly lit inside. It looked like a communal eating area, inhabited mainly by tables and benches. Odd bowels of half-eaten soup and used utensils littered the tables – presumably left when Cynthia's crew attacked. The grass underneath their feet was browned and dry, crunching underneath their feet. They had been set up for some time, Cynthia noted. Two guards stood in the corners, keeping an eye on the group as they entered. They gave a salute she had never seen before – a curled fist to the centre of the chest. She noticed the Eldians militaristic nature, wondering how much that was thanks to the titans. Which reminded her, where were the titans?
"We think its best you stay here temporarily while we get a sense of the situation", Hange explained, gesturing to a bench. Cynthia was weary of how unhostile these people were. After all these years, they must have not expected Marley to step foot on the island. Just because she was Eldian didn't mean she couldn't be the enemy. She could tell Levi was the only one who seemed to take this into account. He hung back from the rest of them, keeping silent watch over his counterparts as well as her. Cynthia sat, holding back a wince when the movement caused the bullet wound on her thigh to burn.
"Am I able to get something for this?" Cynthia asked quietly, holding a hand to the bleeding, thankful it was not much more than a graze. Hange spotted the wound for what looked like the first time. She turned to the dark-haired girl, who still hadn't spoken a single word.
"Mikasa?" Hange asked. Mikasa nodded and left the tent, presumably for medical supplies. Hange took the seat across from Cynthia, restless. Jean and Connie stood by, Cynthia presuming they were awaiting further instruction. Hange seemed to be of higher rank than Levi from what she could tell, though Hange's control of circumstances seemed clumsy.
"You probably have a lot of questions, Cynthia," Hange said, hands clasped in front of her. There was a twinkle in her eye – Cynthia could see she barely contained herself, her visage of composer close to falling apart. Cynthia swallowed, getting a closer look at the people around her. She first noticed their uniforms, plain white shirts and pants encapsulated by an array of leather straps that looked like a full-body harness. She raised an eyebrow, wondering what its purpose was.
"Just two really," Cynthia said, "Why aren't we being swarmed by titans right now?" A part of her still feared a giant hand smashing through the tent roof, crushing the life out of her. To her surprise, Hange laughed victoriously.
"Oh, I will have to show you what we invented to solve that problem", Hange exclaimed smugly.
"Invented? You're an inventor?" Cynthia said, unable to hold her puzzlement. This woman was probably the closest thing they had to a scientist here.
"I am many things. But first and foremost, I am the Commander of the Survey corps," she said, proudly gesturing to their mundane surroundings. Cynthia took a mental note of the name.
"Secondly, an idiot", Levi quipped suddenly from the background. Hange ignored the jab.
"I can't believe you managed to get rid of them. To think you finally escaped the walls…." Cynthia muttered, unable to imagine the terror of hiding from the titans. Seeing them on a battlefield was terrible enough.
"So you know of the walls? What else do you know about Paradis?" Hange asked, enraptured.
"It's a prison," Cynthia said flatly, unable to elaborate her reasoning.
"Not anymore", Jean spoke up, clearly happy about that fact.
"With the help of the Attack Titan, we liberated ourselves. We deterred the Colossal, Armoured, Female and Beast titans. And after six years of suffering, we're finally free and yet… there is still the issue of Marely and what they plan to do next," Hange lamented.
"And you want my help to figure that out?" Cynthia asked.
"We need knowledge only someone who comes from Marely knows. And I doubt many would be willing to give it." Hange said, looking at Cynthia hopefully.
"…Like what?" Cynthia asked. She was strangely bewitched by the Commander's enthusiasm despite the dire circumstances.
"What they're capable of mostly. We need to know their firepower is like, in machine and titan terms." Hange said.
Cynthia swallowed, the painful truth bubbling at the surface. In reality, if Marley decided to send a full-scale attack against the island, they didn't stand much chance, based on what she had seen so far.
"I don't know where to start. Automatic weapons, armoured vehicles, anti-titan weapons, the war hammer titan… I'm not sure you could prepare for such things."
Everyone in the room went quiet, a mix of fear and indigeneity among them. At that moment, Mikasa returned with a wooden box of gauze and other various medical supplies. She silently handed it to Cynthia, who took it gingerly.
"Thank you", she whispered, shuffling through the box.
"What was your second question?" Levi suddenly asked from the background again. Cynthia stared at him. She wanted to ask where Gideon was dragged off, but she bit her tongue, wondering why Levi let her beat the man to a pulp in the first place.
"Where can a girl take a shit around here?" Cynthia muttered, taking Hange's approach to things. Connie poorly suppressed a snicker, causing Jean to grimace.
"We have latrines near the closest woodland", Hange said, a slight smile on her face.
"Wonderful", Cynthia said tiredly.
"I'll escort you!" Hange offered. The others didn't seem pleased with the idea.
"Is that… necessary?" Cynthia asked, cleaning the wound with the provided material. She wondered if Hange expected her to make a break for it.
"Just in case your Marely 'friends' decide to cause trouble", Hange assured, "And when we get back, we must discuss Marely."
Cynthia blinked slowly, exhaustion creeping into her bones. Enough about Marley, she thought.
"Ah, I think it best you ask my…, friends when the main ship gets here. They are the ones who wanted to come here in the first place," Cynthia explained.
"There are more of you?!" Hange exclaimed. Levi had approached Hange from behind, placing a firm hand on her shoulder as she practically jumped in her seat. She took the touch as a warning to calm down, clearing her throat and adjusting her posture.
"They call themselves the Anti-Marleyan volunteers. Needed to get to Paradis for whatever reasons," Cynthia said, wrapping a bandage around her leg over her clothing. She would have to appropriately dress it later. Hange stood, indicating to the tent exit.
"What about you?"Hange asked, retrieving her weapon from Jean, who had been lugging it around since she threw it to him. Cynthia couldn't help the sullen smile that pulled at her lips.
"It doesn't matter now."
"You have horses here?" Cynthia asked, spotting the stables across the fields when she exited the latrines. The sun was almost completely gone now, the primary light sources now the lanterns that hung outside the outhouses. Hange gave Cynthia a sceptical look before coming to a thought.
"Right, you probably don't see them all that often where you come from," Hange theorised out loud, "You have these things called 'cars, ' right?"
Cynthia ignored the obvious attempt at conversation about Marley. She had to keep reminding herself that Paradis hadn't had interaction with the world for a hundred years, but she was far too tired for questions.
"Yes," she replied simply, kicking at a rock at her feet. The spark in Hange's eye was not smothered despite Cynthia's hesitance. The commander's persistent interest caused her a twang of guilt when she wouldn't indulge it. She couldn't help but doubt their genuine fascination. Maybe another time, Cynthia thought.
A stiff breeze blew over the meadows, pushing dishevelled hair out of Cynthia's eyes. The grassland responded to the wind, dancing in the currents, leaves crashing into Cynthia's ankles on their way to another place. She closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of fresh air. She could feel Hange's intense gaze on her, examining. A little more closely than she usually might, Cynthia speculated.
"Enjoying yourself?" Hange asked, waving a hand, gesturing that they should move on. But when Cynthia opened her eyes, something moving along the forest tree line caught her eye. She almost didn't catch it in the dimming light. She froze to the spot, mouth slight agape.
"Is that…?" Cynthia couldn't help but develop a fascination. Hange was puzzled.
"Uh…It's a rabbit. A cute one, I suppose," she said. The small, brown animal paused in its pursuit for shelter from the wind when it spotted Cynthia. Its black, bead-like eyes darted in her direction, long ears standing to attention. Its tiny pink nose twitched, and once it caught a whiff of human in the air, it darted erratically into the brush. Cynthia started to move towards the darkened forest to catch another glimpse, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. A strange emotion moved through Cynthia, as fleeting as the rabbit itself. She didn't think witnessing such a small, inconsequential creature would be on the list of demoralising things she would experience that night.
"Have you never seen a rabbit?" Hange asked slowly, immediately reading into Cynthia's reaction.
"No, I haven't", she replied flatly.
"Why is that?" Hange asked softly. At first, Cynthia thought she was prying again. Still, when she turned to look at her, she could see concern as well as curiosity in the brunette's features. Her expression held warmth she wasn't used to. Cynthia took a breath, wrapping her arms around herself.
"I've lived in internment camps my entire life," Cynthia muttered, "The most I've seen of the outside world was in books… or remnants on a battlefield. I haven't seen many animals. Wild ones anyway."
"I see," Hange said, her words falling uncharacteristically short. It looked like she felt sick, knuckles white as she gripped the rifle in her hands. "Marley doesn't treat Eldians too kindly, does it?"
"It does not", Cynthia affirmed, lips pressed together.
The two of them stood in silence for a moment, Hange seemingly mulling something over in her mind.
"I'm sorry", she eventually said. Cynthia shook her head.
"As much as they want us to believe it, it's not your fault. Not truly. Marley wants us to believe we can redeem ourselves of Eldia's sins with our servitude, but that's also bullshit. I believed in the redemption narrative once, but… then you realise redemption is not what they want," Cynthia explained, eyes glued to the meadows, already mentally chastising herself for speaking about it at this length. Hange was a stranger – for all Cynthia knew, her curiosity was a façade.
"What do they want then?" Hange asked, dullened by their conversation. Cynthia shrugged.
"Seems to vary, depending on the dipshit in charge", Cynthia seethed, letting her anger creep back. Despite the gruelling nature of their conversation, a slight grin came across Hange's face.
"What?" Cynthia asked.
"Nothing," she said, happier once again, "You just remind me of someone."
"Are they also a miserable piece of shit?" Cynthia joked. Hange let out a short snort of laughter, embracing the humour. Cynthia found herself strangely buzzed by the sight.
"Yes, actually," Hange said, "Which reminds me, we should really get going."
Cynthia nodded, resuming following Hange along the darkened path. She thought she would welcome the silence that now sat between them, but now the air just felt empty. Painful thoughts started to crowd her mind once more. Thankfully, Hange seemed to feel the same.
"So…," she stated nonchalantly, "Are there any Eldi- any of our people, who don't suffer outside of the walls?"
"Not really. Unless you're counting the Tybur family," Cynthia explained, already expecting the follow-up questions.
"Ah, the Tybur's!? The family who possess the War Hammer Titan, correct?" Hange asked, excited at the mention of the titan.
"Correct", Cynthia stated.
"Tell me, what does the War Hammer titan look like?! Eren is poor at describing it. Is it really made of metal?"
"I think so; I've only seen illustrations. No one knows which one of them possesses it either."
"Could you draw it for me?" Hange asked suddenly, enraptured once more.
"Ah… I can," Cynthia said a little hesitantly. Theoretically, she could recreate the image from memory, but she wasn't sure how good it would be.
"Really?!" Hange exclaimed, her exhilaration matching that of a child who was promised ice cream for dinner. Cynthia could feel the smallest of smiles tug at the corners of her mouth.
"Yeah," Cynthia said, more confidently this time.
"Wonderful! I am very interested to see how the metal moulds to the body. We know with the armoured titan that the hardened skin acts like plated armour, hence the name, of course…."
Hange continued her titan theorising, almost feverishly, for some time. She would ask for confirmation on some things she wasn't sure about as they continued back towards camp but at some point stopped asking questions altogether. Over time, Cynthia found her tolerance for Hange's babbling transformed into patient listening. She found Hanges passion for titan biology fascinating in itself, if not overwhelming. She couldn't comprehend the idea of enjoying the study of such things. Why would the hare care how many teeth the fox has? And yet, as they reached camp and Hange composed herself, Cynthia found herself disappointed with the returning silence.
Just as Cynthia had predicted, the battleship moved into the cove. Hange and crew headed down to the beach with a reluctant Niccolo to attempt negotiations and safely extract the volunteers for questioning.
"Good luck trying to convince them to surrender", Cynthia had said before they left, "expect a fight – they are unlikely to negotiate with an 'island devil'"
Hange waved off the advice.
"I can be convincing, just you see! Niccolo will help with that, won't you, Niccolo?" She laughed, her hands holding firm on his shoulders as he did his best to resist with Levi holding a sword in his back. Cynthia took note of it – it wasn't like any weapon she had seen. It was segmented and the end was too wide to be designed for combat between people. It appeared to go with the harness assembly as well. For fighting titans?
"I've got your back if things go bad, Commander", a girl named Sasha had said exuberantly, rifle in hand. She seemed to be similarly aged to the rest of the teenagers, throwing an arm around Connie when she joined them in the tent.
"Where the hell have you been?" he asked, shrugging her off.
"Huh? Someone had to watch the coastline for stragglers," she proclaimed, referring to the rife in her hands.
"She was at the kitchens," Mikasa said quietly.
"Oi, you weren't supposed to tell!"
Jean and Connie were still berating the poor girl when they returned from the beach with Yelena and Onyankopon in toe. Before Cynthia knew it, the three of them were sitting at a table as Hange and Levi fetched… tea?
"What's with that?" Cynthia broke the silence after no one had spoken. Yelena hadn't even looked at her when they entered the tent, deliberately avoiding her gaze.
"I offered them tea, and they took up the offer. I told you I can be convincing," Hange said, placing an assortment of teacups before pouring tea for all of them. What the hell happened out there? Cynthia wondered, unable to take to her eyes of Yelena. She detected specks of red on her tunic.
"You wanted to know what Marley is capable of", Yelena stated to Hange as she took her seat next to a stone still Levi, wasting no time with pleasantries. The giant woman stood and placed her bolt action rifle on the table, along with a semi-automatic pistol. Hange and Levi glared at the items, both looking perturbed. Hange, unable to keep her hands to herself, grabbed the pistol, immediately looking down its barrel in fascination. Cynthia contained her panic, hoping it wasn't loaded.
"Ah, I see! That's how it shoots a bunch!" Hange exclaimed, messing with the ammo clip, moving it in and out of the pistol until it clicked.
"That's standard issue in Marley," Yelena started to explain. Cynthia stayed silent as the four of them spoke, closely watching as Hange slowly lost her composure as Yelena explained the severity of their situation. Levi kicked Hange underneath the table. A warning. A dark expression came over Yelena when Hange wrongly assumed they were secret agents from their home countries.
"We're not secret agents or anything of the sort," Yelena said dully, "We were powerless. Marley took our homes and forced us to be soldiers. We were close to losing hope at ever striking back. Until we met him…."
Who? Cynthia leaned forward in her seat, unaware of the volunteer's true leader.
"A Titan that people of the world feared, calling it a devil. But I saw something completely different… A god…"
No.
"Under Zeke Jaeger's command, we shot our superiors," Yelena said. Everyone in the room froze at the mention of Zeke's name, a sense of nausea overcoming Cynthia. She fixed her eyes the wood grain of the table, jaw clenched shut. Levi had a particularly severe reaction, a deep scowl cutting through his steely expression.
"The fucking beast titan?" He asked sourly. Yelena ignored his negativity, simply nodding.
"He is the leader of the Anti-Marleyan Volunteers. Our goal is to free the Eldian people," Yelena continued, pulling a manuscript from her tunic pocket. I don't believe it, Cynthia thought.
"If this is a joke, it is a cruel one", Hange finally said, taking the folded paper from Yelena. In large letters, the word "REQUESTS" was written on the front.
Hange didn't know it, but Cynthia agreed with her statement. No matter how hard she fought it, her nausea was winning. She sharply stood from her seat, unable to contain it any longer. Yelena finally looked her in the eye. Cynthia could tell she knew. There was a reason this was kept from her.
"Sorry," Cynthia said quickly, exiting swiftly as she could. Once outside, she found a dark spot to vomit, emptying her stomach of all its turmoils. The screeching of cicadas covered the noise of her retching. A single hot tear ran down her cheek as she pushed back the memories that made her react so violently. She had managed to forget most of it.
"Hey", Cynthia heard Hange say behind her, her voice holding the same warmth from earlier. Cynthia didn't turn around, bracing herself with her hands on her knees.
"Tea that bad, huh?" she joked quietly.
"No. The tea was… fine."
"I assume you're just as happy to hear about Zeke as I am", Hange glowered. Cynthia nodded, grimacing at the violence occurring in her body.
"What did he do?" Cynthia hesitantly asked, tuning to Hange. The woman was sorrowful.
"The Beast titan almost killed our entire Scout corp in his quest to retrieve Eren. The damage he has done here is irreversible, in more ways than one," Hange explained, thumbing at the papers in her hands, regarding them with disdain.
"I'm sorry", Cynthia murmured, wiping strands of hair out her face.
"What about you?" Hange asked, pointing to the vomit. Cynthia swallowed back the bile in her throat, shaking her head, thoughts she hadn't visited in a long time flooding her mind. Images of a dark, dirty, bloody crawl space. Desperate hands grabbing her as much larger ones – a titan – grabbed them. The foreign soldier's screams filling her ears as he was torn from their hiding spot, crushed within unforgiving hands. The terror that got stuck in her throat, which froze her lungs, when she watched a giant face peer into the burrow, she was forced to take shelter in. A face she recognised.
"It doesn't matter now", Cynthia said.