I placed my hands on Severus' face and I was hit with everything.

A young Severus watching his father abuse his mother and the feeling of fear. Meeting a young girl named Lily; love. Starting Hogwarts and being sorted to Slytherin while Lily went to Gryffindor. Being tormented by James Potter and his friends; anger. Telling Lily he loved her but she loved James. Reading a wedding announcement in the Daily Prophet. Joining the death eaters and hearing a prophecy. Telling Voldemort and asking him to spare Lily's life. Her death. The pain of that felt like I ran into a wall. Severus turning double agent and protecting Harry throughout school. Helping him to defeat Voldemort. Protecting the students at Hogwarts without revealing his role. The attack by a giant snake and his acceptance of death. Harry saving him. His guilt over surviving...

38 years of emotions hitting in a 20 minute span proved to be too much. I crumpled to the floor. I could see a look of confusion on Severus' face as he cradled my head to keep it from hitting the stone and stroked my hair.

"A born Legilimens doesn't just see. We feel. We take those emotions into ourselves. You should feel a little lighter now" I smiled "I know it took a lot for you to do that. I will do the same, just not now. Not tonight."

"Tell me one thing. One true thing"

"My father. He did what everyone in New York with too much money and too much time on their hands does"

"I take it it's not charity work"

"Heroin" I laughed. The idea of anyone in my family volunteering at a children's hospital or something was hilarious.

I knew I should go back to my chambers, but it felt very comforting in Severus' arms.

"Why do you feel burdened? You risked your life every day to protect the wizarding world as we know it. That makes you a hero. I don't understand..."

"It was my fault. I told him about the prophecy. I'm the reason the potter's were killed. Lily...I loved her. She's dead because of me."

"No. No it's not because of you. Voldemort killed her. Harry can't blame you..."

"He doesn't. I do."

I shook my head. "What you did... it's the bravest thing I've ever seen." he looked away.

"No look at me" I grabbed his face and turned it back. "You convinced the most powerful dark wizard in history that you were on his side. You protected the son of a man who tortured you in school. You helped him defeat Voldemort. We all owe you a debt of gratitude. Harry may have been the chosen one, but you could have chosen to do nothing. You put your life at risk for the good of everyone else. Until you learn to forgive yourself, you can't ever move on. And you deserve that."

Severus stood up and offered his hands to help me up. I just stood there holding his hands.

"I know you loved her. I can feel that. But she didn't love you back and that broke you. I feel that too. You deserve to love someone who can love you back."

I kissed his cheek and walked over to the door. I paused with my hand on the doorknob. "Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never could have worked with her." And I left for my chambers.