She placed his hand on her cheek and leaned into it. Severus could suddenly see her memories in flashes.

Alexianna as a young child running up to her mother for a hug, her mother turning away ignoring her.

Alexianna finding her father passed out on the couch and trying to wake him up.

Alexianna pleading with her father to get help for his drug addiction as he beat her. She tried to get away, but he grabbed her arm and dragged her back.

15 year old Alexianna meeting an older man who was apparently married. Their affair, her pregnancy. 'You are nothing. Just a good fuck.Why don't you understand, I am never going to love you.' She slapped him across the face and turned to walk away, but he grabbed her arm and slapped her back.

The muggle doctor delivering the news of her inability to have children.

19 year old Alexianna being approached by her father, strung out on drugs, caressing her hair, her arms, trying to lift her skirt. She was turned to get away, but he grabbed her arm. She drew her wand and cast a stunning spell that knocked him back into a side table, breaking his neck. Killing him.

Her mother didn't believe her self defense story. She left the penthouse and never returned.

"Everyone knew he was a drug addict. No one questioned my story about him falling. I haven't seen my mother since. They never

wanted a child. I wasn't allowed to go to No-Maj school, so I was shuffled around to dance lessons, music lessons, latin tutors. If I was always busy, they didn't have to deal with me. I guess it was better that way. I should be grateful. Once I started school, it was different. I would come home on breaks and we would just get into arguments about my father's drug use. Even when he would hit me, I would just keep arguing. I don't know, I guess I just wasn't smart enough to just keep my mouth shut. It got worse and worse over the years. I finally snapped...I didn't mean to kill him, just stun him so I could get away... " Tears flooded her eyes

"You know what he was going to do. You had no choice"

"I know. But you want to know the worst part? I don't really care. I don't even think about it. I know you have killed people. And it weighs on you. But the only thing that I think about is the fact that it doesn't even bother me."

Severus realized his hand was still caressing her cheek.

"It's getting late Alexianna"

"I know." she stood and brushed a strand of hair from his face and kissed his forehead. "I'll see you in the morning" she whispered as she left.

He had half a mind to invite her to stay. But he said nothing.

Alexianna met Severus in his office on the day of the Quidditch match between Slytherin and Gryffindor.

"I haven't paid much attention to the teams. Who do you think is going to win?"

"Both teams are pretty good this year. It will be a close match"

He offered his arm and they walked down to the pitch together.

"You know, when I first met you, I thought we weren't going to get along. I kind of thought you hated me for the first couple of weeks. But I'm glad we're...friends"

Friends. Why did that word feel.. inadequate.

Severus simply nodded.

They sat in the teachers box, the front row saved for Harry and Severus and the heads of house for the competing teams. Alexianna sat between the two, hoping to diffuse any tension.

"I haven't seen you at the matches all season, Lexi" Harry was the first to speak

"I was never really into Quidditch. I never was any good at flying" she laughed "But this is supposed to be THE match of the year, so I should probably give it a chance"

"Rooting for Slytherin I take it?"

"Yeah. No hard feelings when we kick your ass though" she winked at Harry

"Pssst" Alexianna tried getting Severus' attention

"Yes?" He whispered back

"Can you, like, tell me what's going on... I was just trash talking like I know shit about Quidditch...but seriously I know SHIT about Quidditch...so help me not look like an idiot okay?"

"That might be difficult" he smirked

"Sarcastic bastard" Alexianna nudged him playfully

Severus did a good job of trying to explain what was happening and by the end, Alexianna had caught on and needed less help.

Slytherin ended up winning 260-240.

"That was so close! I can't believe we won!" She was skipping around excitedly on the way back up to the castle. "Aren't you excited?"

"It was a good match. I happen to be able to contain my excitement and do not feel the need prance around like a horse."

"That would be fucking hilarious. I would actually pay money to see you do that"

Severus raised his eyebrows at her

"It's a joke...but not really. I really would pay a lot of money to see that. It's just so nice being around a ton of happy, excited people. It's infectious. Ya know?"

"Not really"

"You're such a miserable shit" Alexianna pushed him gently and he smiled. He didn't like to admit it but seeing her smiling and laughing almost made him want to smile and laugh too. Almost.