It felt good to get that off my chest. As much fun as last night was, I am not willing to just be another fuck buddy. I deserve more than that. I need more than that from him. As much as it would hurt to have him reject the idea of us now, it would be worse if he decided to string me along. I needed to do something constructive to keep my mind busy. The more I thought about Sev, the more anxious I became. It's as a good a time as any to work on my wandless magic. I started with levitating a chair and trying to move it. I was able to get it a couple feet off the ground when there was a knock on my door. I lost my focus and the chair came crashing down.
"I'm coming. I'm coming...Hi" I said breathlessly.
"What was that noise?" it was Severus
"Oh um. A chair. I was working on my wandless magic when you knocked. I lost focus. Come in" I stepped back from the door and he eyed the overturned chair.
"Try it again"
"Ok..." I was able to get the chair up a couple feet again and bring it down right side up.
"Not bad"
"Yeah. I haven't had much time to work on it with classes and dueling club. And after break, we start up potions club."
"You don't have to attend potions club. I am sure I can handle it on my own" he smirked
"No no. I really want to. I love potions and anytime I get to help a master at his work, I'm happy. Speaking of which, I really want to take my British Potions Master exam, maybe over the summer. Of course I need to find an apartment or something. Harry said I could stay with him, which I might end up doing for a while... I know I'm rambling. So do you need me for something? You probably didn't come here to listen to me ramble about nonsense."
"No. I didn't"
"Gee thanks"
"That's not what I meant... I thought about what you said..."
"Can we sit for this?" I gestured to the sofa "I feel like it's hard to have a serious conversation standing."
"I think you know how difficult this is for me. I don't know if I'm capable of loving another person. But I can't let you go."
"All I'm asking is that you give this a shot. Like a real one. Don't get me wrong, last night was... incredible. Like seriously I cannot stress enough how incredible. But I need more than that."
"You aren't concerned about our age difference? Eventually you may want someone younger."
"I think you're forgetting that I can't have children. Most young wizards are looking to have a family. I can't do that. And you aren't old. 38 is still young. You have another 100 years left." I laughed "Look, we both have baggage, but this could be your second chance. I'm your second chance. You can take it or leave it. But I'd rather you take it"
"Me too" He pulled me over to him a kissed me hard as I ran my hands through his hair.
"Has anyone ever told you how sexy you are"
"No" he chuckled
"Really?"
"Really"
"That's crazy. The first time I saw you brew a potion, I thought you were the sexiest person I had ever seen" I blushed "It's seems as though we missed dinner and I'm starving. How bout I make us something?"
"I didn't know you could cook"
"I do alright" I smirked. I put on some music and started prepping fried chicken and rice.
"I didn't peg you for a Fleetwood Mac fan"
"Seriously? Stevie Nicks is such a fucking bad ass. I mean who writes songs about how much she hates her ex and then is like 'here play this'. And then he has to play those songs all the time because they are like huge hits. I didn't expect you know much about No-Maj music..."
"My father was a muggle...and I was at Hogwarts in the '70's remember."
"I bet the parties were crazy back then. If the students here have parties, they are really good at hiding it."
"Yes the school is much more subdued this year. I was never much for... partying...in school."
"Why am I not surprised?" I laughed "I never had many friends, but I was always at all the parties. I always had contacts for booze and weed." Sev raised his eyebrows at me "I mean, you can't grow up with my parents without knowing people" I laughed "Oh come on don't judge me, you grew up in the 70's. Don't tell me you never smoked"
"I didn't"
I shook my head and finished up dinner singing one of my favorite songs
"If I could
Maybe I'd give you my world
How can I
When you won't take it from me
You can go your own way
Go your own way
You can call it
Another lonely day
You can go your own way
Go your own way"
"Alright, dinner is served"
"This is really delicious" Severus said halfway through. "Very American"
"Yeah well what do you expect?" I laughed
After dinner, I used a charm to clean up out of pure laziness. Severus put a fire in the fireplace and I grabbed a container out of the fridge.
"Want some?"
"How are you still eating? And what on earth is that?" I laughed at the look of disgust in his face.
"It's cookie dough. I don't actually like cookies, but I make up a batch of dough to keep in the fridge..."
"Your aren't supposed to eat that"
"I've been doing it my whole life. It's good. Try it"
"No thank you"
"Oh come on one little bite" I scooped a small amount on my spoon and made him try it.
"That's terrible. And how are you still hungry"
"I dunno. I guess I'm not actually hungry as much as I just wanted to eat it"
"It's a wonder you stay so thin"
"Just lucky I guess" I shrugged
"What did you have planned for the rest of the evening?"
"Take a nice long bath and just chill out. Why? You want to join me?"
"I think I could arrange that" he smiled coyly
I drew a hot bath and put in some lemongrass and rosemary oil and lit some candles.
"The water is quite hot"
"Yes. That's the point. To relax" I got in the tub between his legs and leaned my head back into his chest "I love these old tubs. They're nice and deep to sink down in. You need to relax. I can feel every muscle is tense. Just chill."
"I am relaxed"
"Hang on a sec" I got out of the water and ran to my nightstand and back in the water again. "Here" I handed him a joint and snapped my fingers to light it. "This will help you relax"
"Are you serious?"
"As a heart attack." I took it and took a deep hit. "Just this once"
"Fine. But only because the students are on break. If anyone found out about this..."
"What? They might think you aren't a complete stick in the mud?"
After a few minutes a felt him start the relax behind me.
"You know, we could sneak into the Prefects bathroom some night. There is an amazing bath in there."
"Woah. I think I like 'stoned Sev's. Such a rebel"
"I am not stoned Alexianna"
"Can you not call me by my full name? It usually means I'm in trouble. Just Alex or Lexi is fine"
"Which do you prefer?"
"Well, if it's just us, Lexi. But the other teachers call me Alex, so I guess around them, use that"
"Lexi...Lexxxiiii. Rhymes with Sexxxyyy" He drew out the words
I giggled. Because as much as he wouldn't say so, Sev was a bit stoned. And it was hilarious. But all the tension in his chest was gone and probably for the first time in years, he was relaxed.
An hour later, we got out, our skin all pink and rosy.
"Please stay the night with me" I held his hands and led him to my bed
"I can think of nothing I would rather do"
I climbed on top of him and slowly kissed down his neck, pausing at his scars. His hand flew to cover them, but I pulled his hand away. "Don't do that. You're perfect" I whispered. I continued down to his collarbone. He flipped me over and muttered "incarcerus". Ropes tied my arms gently to the headboard. He kissed down my body, pausing at my breasts, taking each one in his mouth and teasing my nipple with his tongue. He continued down my stomach and even further. My body trembled with anticipation, but he stopped and gave me a smirk. "Don't be impatient. We're going to take our time tonight" his hands explored my body as if he were commiting every curve to memory. "Sev. Please" I whimpered. My heart was racing and my clit was throbbing. He continued his exploration down as I raised my hips for him. He opened his mind to me as his tongue flicked my swollen clit. I was just about to go over the edge when he stopped. "Not yet" he whispered. He left kisses up my body back up to my neck. Had my arms not been bound, I would have finished myself. "That's why you're tied up" he whispered. He crashed his lips to mine roughly, his tongue expertly teasing mine. Just as I was thinking I might explode, he positioned his cock at my entrance and slowly thrust into me. Agonizingly slow. His thumbs traced slow circles on my clit. Everything was slow and torturous. I moaned in protest. 'Not yet' he thought. I clamped down on his cock as hard as I could, hoping he would go faster, harder. 'Someone's being naughty' he thought, but he picked up speed. smaller, faster circles now. His thrust getting harder. Our minds connected, his pleasure was mine. His orgasm sent me over the edge. His ecstasy combined with mine made me cry out in both pleasure and pain. It was so overwhelming, it brought me to tears. He waved his hands to release my arms and I held on to him tightly.
"Are you alright?" he was concerned about my tears
"Yes. That was overwhelming. In a good way. I experienced your orgasm and mine at the same time and both were a lot more intense than last time. I'm ok. Better than ok" I panted, trying to catch my breath. For the first time, he didn't break our connection immediately. I thought about the question I was too shy to ask. I knew he had never slept with Lily, so how did he become such a...solicitous lover.
"I had to use my..ah..talents for the order. To gain information. But having sex with someone I care about...with you...is... to use one of your phrases...'fucking amazing'"
"Oh my god, I got Severus Snape to say 'fucking'" I laughed
He started drawing little circles over my body, giving me goosebumps. "Go easy there, or else you'll have to do a repeat performance"
"Ah. I think I'm a bit old for an encore so soon"
"I don't think age has anything to do with it. I actually exhausted." I yawned
Sev put his arm around my shoulders laying my head on his chest. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat put me to sleep almost immediately.