Les ombres = The Shadows
Mid-October, 843
Mitras was unnaturally quiet during the night, but that made it all the more easy for Kuchel to slink around in the dark umbrae of the alleyways.
Where's a fucking military post in this city? Sheesh… maybe there's one near the stables? Yeah, that would probably be the best place to go first.
The heels of her boots clicked on the cobbled streets and echoed off the façades of the homes and shops she passed by, glancing at her reflection in the windows. It was a foreign sight, since mirrors weren't terribly prominent in the Underground City. The part behind the glass was lined with polished silver, and made them expensive to own. Kuchel caught a glimpse of her eyes, but didn't take a pause even for a moment to look any more– every second was precious, and each one she wasted could mean potential time for her baby to be in danger. It terrified her to the core, and kept her feet moving.
It didn't take too long for the noirette to stumble across some stables near one of the gates of the city, and just as she had in the Underground City, she quietly slipped in through slightly-open doors that drunken soldiers had probably left, having neglected to latch the lock. Her mind raced, trying to think of a plan. Something. Anything to get to her son.
Should she just steal one of the stallions or mares? Should she hold a soldier at knife point to escort her? No, neither of those would really work in her state. She looked like a normal civilian, and if they found the ODM gear on her, she'd be arrested.
It took a bit of snooping around in the empty guard station, but she stumbled upon something that gave her a fantastic idea.
In a chest in the back of a supply closet, her fingers caught on to a Garrison uniform, looking as though it had never been worn before. Perhaps someone left it here and never retrieved it? Or maybe it was a spare? Kuchel didn't care, she just shut the door behind her and hurried to get the uniform on.
It was a bit loose, but that didn't matter to her, since no one would notice a mildly ill-fitting uniform when she was travelling. The dark-haired woman finished adjusting the ODM straps and put the gear back on her thighs, shoving her dress into her satchel. With it slung over her shoulder, she donned the dark green cloak that displayed the Garrison Regiment's shield adorned in crimson roses. It felt disgusting to don the crest of the military, as it was that very same military that had ripped her precious Levi away from her.
They were going to pay for this– Kuchel was going to make sure of that.
With the uniform on, it would be easier for her to make her way to the Scout Regiment's headquarters between the districts of Ermich and Trost. Soldiers were too busy to care what others were doing, and in these clothes, they wouldn't think twice about her wearing ODM gear.
And they won't bat an eye if I take a horse from the stables, either.
Kuchel pulled her hair into a higher bun, making sure not a single thread of hair had sprung free from her head, as to look more well-kempt like a true soldier. The tightness of it hurt her head, but the front she had to put up was more important than how she felt. With a deep inhale to catch some confidence from the air, she pushed her shoulders back and kept her head held high as she entered the stables.
Almost immediately, upon entering, a blonde woman was stationed at the door, who turned to her and saluted. "Long Live King Fritz! What brings you here so early in the morning, cadet?"
Kuchel adapted quickly, ignoring the fright that had jumped under her skin from the sudden sight of another person after spending so many minutes snooping around. The middle-aged woman threw a fist to her chest, putting the heels of her feet together. "Long Live King Fritz! Good morning, I'm here to retrieve a horse in order to deliver a message to the Scout Regiment headquarters."
Her blue eyes scanned the woman's face in the dim light of the oil lamp, but when she was at ease once more, Kuchel too put her fist back to her side. "Alright, let's get you saddled up, soldier."
It took every bit of her in that moment to not exhale loudly in absolute and utter relief. This woman was probably more worried about just making sure the stables didn't burn down, not harassing a "fellow soldier" who just needed a horse. Walls, bless lazy military personnel.
Saddling and prepping the mare Kuchel picked out didn't take too long, and right before she hopped up, she turned to the golden-haired cadet with a shy smile. "Hey, do you have a map, perchance? This is my first time going there, and I don't want to get lost."
"Ah, yeah." The Garrison soldier didn't take long to grab a map, coming back and handing it up to Kuchel, who had swung her leg over and adjusted herself on the saddle. It already felt strange to sit on one of these, and hoped it wouldn't break her ass.
"Thank you kindly." She nodded kindly, noting how her bun bobbed above her nape when she did so. Fuck, that was going to be annoying, wasn't it?
"Of course. Just try to hurry back, Commander Pyxis doesn't like much when lots of horses are missing from the stables. Then again, I think he's been a bit too boozed up lately to tell the difference."
Kuchel feigned a laugh, grabbing the reins and remarking how rough they were, even against her calloused palms. "You're probably right." Her fist then went over her breast, feeling the thrum of her heart against the side of her hand. "Long Live King Fritz!"
"Long Live King Fritz!"
The hooves of the horse clopped against the street as she rode away at a slow and steady trot, hearing the gate squeak shut behind her as she made her way to the main gate of Mitras that separated the central city from the rest of Wall Sina. Those last words that she said weighed on her tongue in a sour way, as though she'd gulped down stale sewer water from the communal well and couldn't quite get the taste out.
Long Live King Fritz. What a great king, forcing my family into the Underground… well, that's what Kenny said at least, that the royals drove us to live in that stinking heap.
Being on the surface again reminded Kuchel what it was like to breathe fresh air. The oxygen of the night was laden with a crispness that she couldn't quite describe, with the autumn season underway, it reminded her of falling leaves and bonfire smoke.
She passed under the large gate of the walled city, and the raven-haired woman was not surprised in the slightest to be greeted with the sight of more buildings flanking either side of her. It was common for there to be settlements near gates, as cities were crucial to everyday life. This one wasn't all that large. It only took her twenty minutes to get past, going straight through the main avenue.
It was when she passed the homes on the edge that the landscape opened before her eyes. Even in the dim moonlight, the countryside of Sina stretched past the peripherals of her vision, with smoke billowing from villages in the distance. The horse whinnied gently at her, urging her to continue. Kuchel hadn't even realised she'd stopped at the edge of town, and leaned forward to pat the horse's muzzle. "Thanks girl, c'mon, let's go. Next town we get to, you'll get some good carrots, eh?"
It earned a snort from the animal, and she couldn't help but giggle and stroke her fingers through its mane. "I guess that sounds good, huh?"
Off she started on her journey to the Scout Regiment base, and according to the map, her destination was approximately 300 kilometres south of Mitras, which would take about four days minimum on her mare. Kuchel knew that she was about a day behind her son, Furlan, and Isabel, and that their horses would also need to make stops for water and food.
A few days into the journey, her ass was hurting like a motherfucker, and she stopped in a village just outside of Ermich District's gate, needing to let her horse rest and eat. Hell, she needed to eat, too. Her stomach was growling so loudly it sounded like a thunderstorm, and the dark-haired woman groaned, pressing her palm against her belly. "Alright, I get it, I get it."
Leaving the horse in the stables, she ventured into the town to find something to eat. It was midday now, so the sun kissed her cheeks and made her eyes dazzle a lovely blue. It made people send stares her way as she walked past, the light reflecting in her inky black hair and her Garrison cape billowing behind her. Kuchel received some thank you's regarding her service in the military as she walked past some fruit stalls, and she couldn't help but feel a pang of shame. She was no soldier, no hero like the children she passed thought. They waved and smiled with cheery, toothy grins, some with missing teeth.
Kuchel remembered when Levi looked at her like that, with the purest hope in his eyes, that sincere admiration that made her heart swell. It was surreal, knowing she had brought a life into this world that saw her as nothing but perfect, unlike anyone else she had ever known. He was pure, and it made her smile, thinking of the days of loose teeth and scraped knees.
My baby's not a baby anymore.
It was so bittersweet, because she was so proud of the man he had become, but still longed for those times when he was small enough to sit in her lap, to listen to her read him bedtime stories that he had heard a thousand times already. Kuchel recalled how darling it was when Levi would fall asleep, his head against her chest and his eyes peacefully closed. She would run her fingers through his mop of obsidian-hued hair and readjust them both on the bed, clutching him as close as she could to sleep beside him. Now he slept in a different room entirely, and some nights she had awoken in a cold sweat, wondering where her baby was. He was a grown man, and didn't need her anymore, no matter how much that thought struck a pain into her core.
What if he didn't get taken? What if he went willingly, and left me behind?
No, Kuchel, he'd never do that. He loves you. Levi loves you.
Her nose led her to a small tavern, and she took a seat at the bar, hooking the heels of her brown boots into the rungs of the stool. It didn't take long for a smaller looking man to come over to where she sat, smiling warmly. "Hello there, Miss. What can I interest you in? You look like a tired soldier in need of a good meal."
Resting her petite elbows on the countertop, Kuchel gave the older gentleman a smile. "Yes, actually. What is the special for today?"
"Grilled salmon, snap peas, and corn. Does that sound good, Miss… what can I call you?" He asked, grabbing a glass from under the counter and setting it by her. He seemed kind enough, so she decided to let a bit loose for a moment.
"Kuchel, if you don't mind. What's your name, sir?"
"Ah, Henry's the name. I'm the owner of this tavern, so welcome."
"Thank you, Henry." She nodded, reaching to gently cradle the nape of her neck, which felt a bit sore from sitting up so straight while riding. Her fingers ghosted over the soft hairs, and Kuchel inhaled deeply. "That special sounds fantastic. Could I get that, please, as well as a glass of wine, watered down if you don't mind?"
Henry nodded and gave her a friendly wink, grabbing her that wine and setting the glass back down. "There you go, Kuchel, and I'll be back soon with that food. Just relax, enjoy your drink. I'll check on you in a little bit."
Picking up the glass, she raised it in his direction. "Thank you kindly."
After a few sips, the woman's hand dipped into her satchel, feeling around to make sure that everything was still there. When her fingers brushed over the intricately bound spine of Neora's journal, it sent an icy shiver down her spine, making her retract her hand from the bag. Part of her wondered what else that journal had inside of it, but for now, she wasn't ready. Kuchel was still reeling from the feeling of her mother's skull crunching and breaking down beneath the weight of her shoe, and the wounds from what she had already read still stung, like alcohol on a deep, festering cut.
I don't understand any of it… Neora hating me… she said she didn't want to call me her daughter anymore, that she was afraid of me. That entry was dated when I was only three or four. What could I have possibly done at such a young age to make her afraid of me?
The scent of grilled salmon pulled her out of her brooding, depressing thoughts, like a beacon of light on a foggy night. The smell made her mouth water almost immediately, and Henry had barely set the plate down before she started to eat. Kuchel swallowed the first bite, blushing softly at her ravenous behaviour. "E-Excuse me, my apologies. I haven't eaten anything besides bread and old jerky for the past few days. A home-cooked meal is a pleasure to my tastebuds, and my belly too."
Henry chuckled and leaned on the counter, watching the blue-eyed woman take another bite. "Happy ya like it, Miss Kuchel. Grilling meat's my specialty, so anytime ya want some more, feel free to come back and see me. So, where are ya headin'?"
Her fingers wrapped around the glass, lifting it to her pink lips so that she could throw back a swig of the dark red wine. "Thank you, Henry. I'm on my way to the Scout Regiment headquarters to deliver a message from the Garrison in Mitras. Do any Scouts come around these parts?" She inquired, moving her body forward a touch to dig into the corn on the plate. The man leaned back against a counter behind him that held shelves of liquor, scratching his bearded chin in deep thought.
"Ah, yeah, I had some Scouts come in here last night with some scraggly lookin' kids, maybe early twenties? There was a redhead girl who wanted some substantial food, a blonde who wanted some ale, and a brooding, dark-haired boy who didn't touch a thing. He sat by the door the entire time, crossing his arms and glaring at the Scouts who had brought them all in. Now that I think about it, that kid looks kinda like you, Miss Kuchel. Do you know him?"
"No idea, I'd have to see him to know for sure." She replied, crunching on some pea pods. Levi had been in this tavern with Furlan and Isabel, which meant that the trail she was following wasn't stale and leading nowhere.
Henry said that he didn't eat anything. Levi had better not be starving himself, he's thin as it is…
"Ah, yeah. He looks like he could be your cousin or something!" The man gave a laugh from deep in his belly. "Well, Miss Kuchel, I need to get back to runnin' my tavern, but feel free to rest as long as you need and call me over if you need a fill up, alright?"
"Will do, sir. Thank you."
She did indeed spend a bit more time in that seat, mulling over things before she left some coin on the countertop. Kuchel hopped off the barstool, straightening her cloak and jacket before making her way to the door, accidentally brushing her shoulder against a larger man as she walked. "Oh, excuse me."
"Yer excused, cunt."
That made her stop in her tracks, and her gaze slowly met his as she turned her head. The raven-haired woman turned her body to face him fully. "I'm sorry, do you have an attitude problem, big guy? Because if you do, I can beat that shit out of you quickly, free of charge." Her tongue was heavy with annoyance, with impatience and ire. Kuchel never picked fights, but she sure as hell would finish them.
"Naw, but I got a problem with scrawny bitches takin' up space at the bar and loungin' around." He sneered. This man had to bow his neck down to get in her face, but even his rotten breath didn't phase her. With his nose inches from hers, Kuchel exhaled deeply and cracked her neck.
"Oh, really? Well I've got a problem with bumbling oafs who waste my time."
In the blink of an eye, she grabbed the sides of his head by his hair, swinging her knee up into his face and feeling the snap of cartilage against her kneecap. He groaned loudly, trying to stumble away from her, but she wasn't done quite yet. Kuchel then hooked her booted foot across his calves, swiping his legs out from under him.
The bar's ambience had quieted when they had begun arguing, and the silence made his fall to the ground all the more raucous.
Blood was pouring from his nose, his cheek resting on the dirt-covered floor from soiled work boots of patrons. Her own heel came to rest on his head, allowing some of her weight to shift to her foot and push his temple down into the wood. The thought of grooves imprinted onto his face made her laugh internally, but she didn't want to waste too much time on him. "The bigger you are, the harder you fall, asswipe. Next time, pick on someone your own size– although, I can't guarantee you'll win that fight, either." Kuchel batted her eyelashes down at him, giving him a sarcastic pout before heading out the door.
Nothing was more annoying than boisterous fools who wanted to start fights. There had been so many of those at the Pink Pearl that the thought made her mind spin with irritation.
The undercover mother eventually made it to the Scout Regiment's headquarters late at night, under the soft glow of the moon. Just before this, she had taken a detour to a nearby forest and stored her satchel inside a deep cavity in a tree, where it would be safe from the elements, and only taking her knife with her. It was a knife that Levi had given her for her birthday a few years ago, with a handle that was made of finely polished wood. However, she'd recently discovered a surprise hidden in the hilt, and that was a sneaky lockpick that could be pulled out from the bottom. How handy for the Underground.
Kuchel had to leave that satchel somewhere that she could return to later to retrieve the contents, knowing that if she were caught with her citizenship papers, it would reveal her identity as an Ackerman. If the military found out she was an Ackerman, they would likely target Levi as well, and she didn't want to think about the terrible things that the Royal Government would do to two Ackermans that escaped the Underground City.
She approached the gate, and once she was a few metres away, Kuchel hopped down and led the horse by the reins. The Scout on duty was quick to salute her. "Good evening, what's your business?"
Kuchel saluted them back, still gripping the reins in her fist. "Good evening. I have a message from the Garrison in Mitras for Section Leader, Erwin Smith."
"Alright, the temporary stables are to the right. Squad Leader Smith is most likely in his private quarters, second floor, last door on the right."
"Much appreciated." She nodded, making sure her hood was still up as led the horse to the water trough. Not many other soldiers were out this late at night, which was good for her– the fewer eyes to catch her, the better.
However, it was as though a sixth sense activated in her as she tied the horse up. Kuchel's cerulean-tinted eyes flickered upwards as she moved to face the main building, seeing a young man sitting on the battlements, though even in the moonlight, she couldn't make out his features. He was watching her, she could tell by the feeling prickling under her skin. Would he see through her disguise with that burning gaze?
Deciding it was best to keep moving, she ducked into the building that he was sitting on top of, following the directions of the Scout at the gate.
Second floor, last door on the right. After I kill him, I'm grabbing my baby and his friends, and then we're leaving. I'm not letting them stay here.
The corridors were somehow more silent than outside, and Kuchel assumed that most of the cadets had long since gone to sleep. Perhaps she was even marching right past the barracks where her darling Levi was sleeping. What if the bed was uncomfortable? What if he was cold? This place had a draft!
Focus, Kuchel. Focus.
The woman finally reached the right room, nestled at the end of the corridor in the darkest corner. It was perfect, and she thanked every higher being as she used her lockpick, silently setting the tumblers and unlocking the door. Slipping the pick away, her knife remained in her work-worn palm, her footsteps ghosting across the floor after shutting the entryway behind her.
It was as though every single thing the woman touched made no noise for even the keenest of ears to hear, her breath slowing as she approached the man's bed. She could see that he was broad, at least twice her weight, and built out of pure muscle, most likely from long hours of training with ODM gear.
The average citizen would be hesitant to kill someone in general, and even more nervous to kill someone so much more powerful than themself, both in size and military rank. The noirette was miniscule in comparison to him, Erwin Smith could crush her as easily as a grape in a wine press, guaranteed.
But she wasn't afraid of him.
The moonlight leaked in through the window, uninhibited by curtains. The glow lit up her eyes, illuminating the danger and potent indignation that swirled deep within her. Light reflected off her blade as she brandished it once more, hovering over him and watching his chest rise and fall with every fluttering breath.
Time passed differently when you were about to take someone's life.
Kuchel hadn't recalled when she raised her arm in the air, rearing it up to plunge the knife deep into his toned chest. The resentment bubbled in her chest, gurgling into her throat as she thrusted her arm down.
"THIS IS FOR TAKING MY FUCKING SON!"
What she didn't expect was the firm hand seizing her wrist, crushing her dainty arm to hold her back. Kuchel yelped in more surprise than in pain, her breath hitching when her gaze met his. It all happened almost too fast for her to comprehend, but the knife was knocked out of her hand, clattering to the stone floor as he fought to throw her off him. A guttural shriek ripped from her body, and that unforgettable, puissant adrenaline crashed through her, as though the floodgates had burst open under the pressure of her sizzling blood.
He was more than a head taller than her, she noticed, as he tried to restrain her to the ground. "Stop! You're not going to win, lady!"
"Bite me you fucking pig!" Kuchel howled, jerking her head down to bite his fingers that gripped her wrist. He seethed in pain, retracting his hand rapidly and giving her a chance to yank him down to the ground by the collar of his shirt. Hearing his jaw connecting with the ground and the air whooshing out of his lungs from the impact, she lifted her boot to smash it down into his head, which she felt was probably inflated with his ego over snatching her innocent, precious boy out of the Underground.
At that moment, he was worse than any client she'd ever had. He was more miserable to her than any man who hurt her, who had sneered at her in the streets, who had humiliated her.
Because he tried to take her baby away from her.
However, Kuchel had failed to take into account that he could grab her by her ankle and send her careening to the hard ground, and that was just what he did. Her head clanged against the stone, and even in her Ackerman-fuelled rage, it knocked her out instantly, dropping her into an endless void of inky blackness that made her feel like she was drowning.
The next thing she remembered was a palm touching her cheek, familiar fingertips grazing over the scuffed skin of her face from it, hitting the floor earlier. Her argent-glinted eyes fluttered open groggily, trying to focus desperately as a voice spoke to her. It was one she had heard before, and the eyes peering into her own were recognisable as well.
"-ama. What are you doing here?"
She couldn't even form comprehensible words, feeling needle pricks behind her eyes and struggling to keep her vision straight as a harsh pain resounded through her skull.
"L-Levi?" Kuchel whimpered, her hand shakily coming up to grasp his as she took a shaky, shallow breath.
"What did you do to her?" His voice was tense; she'd only ever heard him talk this way to men that had harassed her in the streets of the Underground.
"Erwin only defended himself, cadet. Your mother masqueraded as a Garrison soldier, picked the lock to his room, and tried to stab him to death. He only used the necessary force to incapacitate her."
"Bullshit, she looks like she's got a fucking concussion. Mama, Mama can you see me okay?" The shifting tones alone made her head hurt, and she squeezed her eyes shut, unable to keep her vision straight.
"No. No… c-can't. Hurts." She panted, pressing her other palm's heel to her eye in a futile attempt to stop the pain. Unsurprisingly, it did next to nothing.
"It's a lot to deal with so late at night." The taller, bald man grumbled. "We'll be dealing with her tomorrow, first thing in the morning. Report back to your barracks, cadet."
"Bite my ass, I'm not leaving her alone." Levi snapped venomously. Kuchel heard him get up, and could almost picture him stubbornly trying to get in the man's face, even being as short as he was. "She's my mother, and she's hurt. I'm staying put."
There was a long pause, and the anticipation made her skin crawl as she awaited his response.
"Fine. I don't care."
The footsteps of the two men receded, and she whimpered as her son reached in to feel the back of her head, trying to figure out where she'd hit it. "Tch, Mama… you gotta lie down, can you do that?"
Levi watched as she did her best to lie down, and he took off his jacket, rolling it up to put under her head. He sat as close to her as he could, and pulled her hair out of the tight bun to ease the tension on her scalp. His mother didn't say much of anything before falling asleep– Levi figured she was probably trying to cope with the pain in her head from such a direct blow. That bump was big, and it made his blood curdle when he traced over it with his fingers as gingerly as he could. It wasn't gentle enough, though, because she still mewled in pain at even the slightest brush against the spot.
The man sat with his arm snaked between the bars, caressing her hair as she slept to try to ward off bad dreams and discomfort. So many thoughts were whirring through his head as he tried to piece together everything he had learned.
Mama… somehow learned we'd been taken, broke out of the Underground, followed us here, stole a Garrison uniform, and tried to kill a squad leader?
He was astounded that she had even gotten out of that shit hole, much less made it all the way here by herself. Where the fuck did she even get a Garrison uniform from?
Wait. That means she was that creepy soldier who looked at me. Did she realise it was me? I'll have to ask at some point.
Eventually, he fell asleep holding her hand, as she had begun to quietly fuss from the injury and he couldn't bear to let her feel like she was going through it alone. There was no light in the prison beneath the ground except for the flickering candles on the wall sconces, and the mother and son rested as peacefully as they could on the cold, hard ground.
Two Scouts came down the stairs at the first sign of the rising sun, waking Levi from his less-than-favourable slumber. He sat up groggily, watching as they unlocked the cell door and approached his mother, who was still resting her eyes. "Be careful with her, you fucks."
"Levi, watch your mouth, baby." His blue eyes flickered back over to her, seeing that she was now able to keep her own eyes open somewhat, though it looked like the effort was putting her through hell.
"Mama, how do you feel?" He asked, rising to his feet to help keep her up when she was brought out of the cell, her wrists shackled behind her back. Did those well-trained commanders really think that his tiny mother was a threat?
Then again, Erwin looked like he was pretty roughed up, and he might have felt really threatened to knock her out cold. No, no… she's not capable of that, is she? This is confusing.
Kuchel could tell that Levi had a thousand questions spinning around in that beautiful mind of his, but with the pain ebbing through her head, she didn't have the heart to answer any of them. She could have sworn that a blow to the head like the one she'd sustained would have given her a concussion, but maybe her Ackerman instincts were helping her heal, or something. Kenny mentioned to her at one point in their lives that sometimes he'd get bad wounds that would heal themselves cleanly without stitches.
Maybe he was blowing smoke up her ass– who knew if he was telling the truth?
The Scouts each had a hold of one of her arms, guiding her in a manhandling sort of way that made irritation build in her muscles and caused involuntary twitches in her hands.
"Quit fidgeting and keep moving." One of the cadets grumbled to her as they walked upstairs and towards the end of a long hallway. Kuchel didn't even have the energy to roll her eyes at the rudeness, doing her best to keep her composure while parts of her vision spun and made her feel like she needed to throw up her last meal.
Before the dark-haired woman could prepare herself, the door to the Commander's office door was swung open in front of her by one of the soldiers, letting the light from the windows flood over her and making her hiss in pain. "A-Ah, that's bright."
"Too bad." The gruff voice of the Commander from the night before boomed from where he sat at his desk, and as Kuchel squinted and glanced up, she saw him sitting with his hands tented, elbows resting on the desk. That blonde fucker that she'd failed to kill the night before was standing by the window at attention, watching as the soldiers dragged her to the chair and plopped her down in it.
Glancing back, Kuchel saw her darling son standing behind her, to her side somewhat, his hand gripping the top of the backrest on her chair. She could see it as clear as day, the tension that he was so good at hiding from everyone but her. It was subtle, visible only in the slightest ways, like his breathing, how often he blinked, even the minute rigidity in his jaw.
"Let's get on with this." The short-haired, gruff man muttered, opening a file on his desk and grabbing a quill from an inkwell. "I'm Commander Shadis, and you'll address me as such. The man you assaulted is-"
"Section Leader Erwin Smith." Cutting him off with the correct answer made him raise his brow, and Kuchel couldn't help but feel the disgust brewing in her belly, watching his forehead wrinkle in curiosity.
"Yes, indeed. You know his name? How?"
"Talk in the Underground."
"So you're from the Underground?"
The tone in his voice set her on edge, and she leaned back, suddenly feeling the pain melting away in the face of her own repulsion towards the two men in front of her. Swallowing thickly, the noirette crossed her leg over her knee, seeing that she was still adorned in the white pants and button up shirt, as well as the ODM straps. No wonder she felt like she was suffocating.
"Yes. Considering that's where you snatched my son from, I thought you'd have figured that out without asking."
"Ah, you've got quite the mouth on you." Commander Shadis huffed, scratching some things into the file and glancing up at her with his green eyes. With the sunlight flooding in, she could see that there was a golden sheen that glossed over the verdant hue, but it didn't make her enjoy his piercing gaze more.
"And what of it?"
"Nevermind. Let's start easy, hm? What's your name?"
It felt as though it took her mind to come to terms with the options weighed before her, but she decided that some questions were just easier to answer than to fight against. "Kuchel."
"Kuchel what?"
"Just Kuchel." She reiterated, hearing Levi sigh softly next to her as she flicked her chin to the side, tossing some of her mid-back length ebony tresses over her shoulder. Kuchel didn't recall ever taking her hair out of the bun she'd put it in.
Levi must have done that. It probably looked uncomfortable, sleeping on the floor in a bun that was so tight it could have popped off my head.
"So, you expect me to believe that both you and your son don't know your own last name? That seems highly improbable." He probed, seeming as though he was trying his damndest to push her buttons. "Care to explain?"
"I can, in fact. I never told Levi his last name, and when he was nine years old, I was attacked on the job and put into a three-year coma; you can even send for records from Saint Sina Hospital of Mitras. That accident caused me to lose some of my memories, including my last name."
Erwin and Commander Shadis both looked at one another, but she couldn't quite decipher what their exchanged glances meant. Did they believe her, or think she was a crock of shit?
"We'll send for those records you're talking about, Miss Kuchel. Now, what was your occupation in the Underground that led you to being attacked?"
Her eyes narrowed, looking at him with ever-growing agitation burning in her sky-blue irises. "My son is in the room, therefore I would rather not answer the question."
"He's a grown man, I'm sure he can handle it."
Kuchel exhaled some of her building frustration, trying to not let it get too pent-up inside her. Only she could hear that subtle, protective growl bubbling in her son's throat as he stood behind her, and she sighed apathetically again before replying. "Prostitute. Ten years. Do I need to go into further detail, sir?"
"Ah, well may I ask if Levi was born there, in your place of work?"
She didn't get to answer this one, as Levi responded for her in a flat tone. "I was. December 25th, 819."
"I see. Next time you speak out of turn, you're getting laps as a punishment, you vagrant." Shadis pointed the feathered end of the quill in an accusatory manner towards her son, and she gritted her teeth.
"Don't talk to him like that."
He continued scribbling things into the notes, not even bothering to look up. "When is your birthday, Miss Kuchel? We're only asking simple questions."
She rolled her eyes. "May 20th, 801."
"Ah, you had him quite young. Who's the father?"
Kuchel couldn't help the snicker that erupted from her chest, causing all three of the men in the room to look at her in disbelief. After blinking some tears of laughter away, she flashed the Commander a pitied smile. "I thought leaders were supposed to be smart?"
He set his quill down, raising a brow questioningly. "What do you mean?"
"You know how old my son is, since he just told you. You know my place of occupation when he was born as well. I thought you'd use your big brains that tax dollars fuel to put together that it was obviously a client. You're a fucking idiot." She then tutted, feigning sincerity. "Oh, I almost forgot. Ahem. You're a fucking idiot, Commander Shadis." Kuchel remembered he specifically wanted to be addressed as such, and two could play at this precarious game of respect and boundaries.
The raven-haired woman knew she'd struck just the right nerve in the tall man, because the next thing she knew, he had tossed his hand over the desk to grab her by the jaw, halfway pulling her from her seat and making her gasp at the tightness of his grip. "Answer the questions. Bein' a smartass and makin' me angry isn't going to help you, which is probably what Underground scum like you two learn to do. Quit pushing back against every inquiry."
Levi shifted to push the man off her, but he retracted his hand when Kuchel hocked up and spit right in his face, growling and falling back into her seat when he let her go. "You're not my fucking commander. I don't have to listen to shit from you, or take your orders!"
"Answer the fucking question. Who is Levi's father?" He snapped, wiping her spittle off his face. Something about that made her tilt her chin up in smug defiance.
"Doesn't matter. I'm his mother."
"Whose ass are you trying to cover? Must be someone pretty high up, then, if you don't want to talk about it. Perhaps some government head in Mitras?" Commander Shadis challenged, his gaze hardening as he remained standing, leaning over the desk with his hands on the surface to keep him steady.
She scoffed, a dangerous look in her eyes. "You've gotta be really fucking empty-headed to think any prostitute in the Underground City is spreading their legs to anyone in Mitras, sir."
He leaned in further, his own threatening glint in his darkening eyes. "Some of those fuckers in Mitras don't mind slummin' it with people like you." The disgust was ever present in his tone, as though he saw her as nothing but the scum of the earth.
Levi snarled and reached forward to grab Shadis by the collar of his green military jacket, but it was Erwin who made his comrade retract, pulling him back by the shoulder with a large hand. "Sir, that's quite unnecessary."
Commander Shadis's head snapped back to shoot a sharp glare at his subordinate. "She needs to answer the damn questions, Smith."
The well-built blonde man sighed, releasing the Commander and walking a few paces over to Kuchel, taking a key out from his breast pocket that was fitted with the Wings of Freedom. "You're making her feel like she's being interrogated rather than simply questioned. Start by taking these things off..."
Her breath hitched when he came closer to her, his fingers brushing against her wrist to hold her still as he unlocked the shackles. As soon as her hands were free, Kuchel brought them to her lap and massaged the bony parts of her wrists, shooting a grateful yet wary look in his general direction.
He huffed out an unamused breath. "I think you're forgetting how we found her, Erwin. She didn't exactly come knocking on our doors– her behavior doesn't exactly warrant a line of simple questions. What is she trying to hide?" He glared back at the woman in question, who could only return his words with a mocking expression of irritation.
"Hiding is different from being recalcitrant to authority that isn't earned, but forced." She tsked. "I don't owe you anything, you don't oblige my words with your false sense of superiority. You want me to cooperate? Earn my respect, starting with telling me why you took my fucking son."
His teeth gritted at her words, so hard that she could have sworn that he'd break his pearly whites under the sheer pressure. "You came onto this base while posing as a Garrison soldier, and tried to kill a higher up in the chain of command. You have the gall to tell me I have to earn your respect? You're lucky that questions are all you're getting, Miss Kuchel."
Erwin interjected before either of them could continue. "Perhaps I could try, Commander Shadis?"
The man in front of her mulled over that for a moment, before relenting to his subordinate's request, getting out of the chair to let him sit and do the talking. "Go ahead."
The Section Leader took the seat, resting his elbows on the desk and cracking the knuckles of his huge hands. She had felt just how large they were when he brushed his fingers against her skin, and the night before when he had snatched up her wrist– it was a bit intimidating.
"So, you had to have broken out of the Underground. How did you get out? Did you pay someone off at the stairwell, or sneak past?"
There was little hesitation in her reply, having thought of the answers to some questions like this in case she did get caught, somehow. Her getting incapacitated the previous night was a rarity. "I… used myself as payment, sir."
That drew a shocked exhale from her son, one that both Scouts glanced up at. He came around, looking her in the eyes. Walls, she could see the pain written all over his exhausted face at her lie. He didn't know it was a lie, but in order for this to work in her favour, he needed to stay ignorant for the time being. "Mama, you did what?" Levi asked, and she knew that he didn't need to hear her say it again.
"Baby, let Mama keep answering the questions." Kuchel replied, reaching up to gently pat his cheek. The concerned mother tried to direct her son, with her eyes, that this was a lie, that she would explain the truth somewhat to him later, and after a long moment of silence, he seemed to catch on to her scheme. At least, she hoped he did.
Levi seemed a bit shaken, despite the look she gave him, backing away and retaking his spot beside her chair. "Alright."
Erwin cleared his throat at the clarification she'd made, and didn't elaborate further on the subject. The dark-haired woman was impressed, as he seemed to use his brain far more than his superior.
The questioning went on for a while longer, with Erwin asking her about how she got from Mitras to the Scout Regiment headquarters, how she got a Garrison uniform in the first place, and the like. These questions she decided to answer truthfully, seeing as there was no point in lying about what she did. There would be records somewhere that could hold her accountable, she was sure of it. Spitting out falsities would only land her deeper into some Royal Government prison, far away from her son, and that was the last thing that Kuchel wanted.
Towards the end of the questioning, Section Leader Smith leaned back in the leather arm chair, tenting his fingers and resting his bulky elbows on the arm rests. "Miss Kuchel, are you aware that you've committed many crimes against the Royal Government, doing the things that you did?"
A lump formed in Kuchel's throat that she was forced to swallow down like bitter herbs. "Yes."
"Okay. I'm curious about something else. You were wearing ODM gear, and you give me the impression that you're smarter than most people assume. Are you trained in how to use such equipment?"
Kuchel blew some air out of her nose, rubbing her pale wrists again, feeling as though she were still shackled. "Yes, Levi taught me how to use it in case of emergencies."
"I see." Her argent-tinted eyes darted to the document on the table, where he began to write a few things down. "Miss Kuchel, I would like to assess your capabilities with that gear, as well as put you through a few other minor tests. Nothing serious, I promise you that, and I'm a man of my word. If you cooperate with me, it will be much better for you."
"I'll do whatever you ask of me, as long as you keep my son safe, and if you don't take me away from him."
"I can do that first part no problem, but I can do my best to honour your last request. I'm going to have some soldiers bring you to the infirmary, where we'll get you checked out and cleaned up. Afterwards, you'll be getting a proper uniform. At noon sharp I expect you to be in the courtyard for your first test."
The two soldiers from before came into the room once again, helping her up from the chair and leading her away. She casted a reassuring glance to Levi, seeing the unsure look overcoming his sharp features.
Oh, my darling son. Mama's gonna be okay, don't worry. We'll get out of here together.
As soon as she was out of earshot, Levi approached the desk, slamming his hands down and scattering some papers, even causing the inkwell to tip over and leak out its contents. "You thick-browed fuck, what are you trying to do? My mother is forty-two, she's a delicate woman who should not be anywhere near the military, understand me?"
Erwin looked at him with amusement, giving him a mirthy laugh. "You obviously don't know anything she's capable of. Think about it, Levi. She got here all by herself, only a day behind us, and was clever enough to sneak in to try to kill me. You think that's the work of a 'delicate woman'? Sounds like you know her less than you think you do."
Those words rang in his ears as he marched to the barracks, trying to find Furlan and Isabel. Luckily, they hadn't left the room yet, and Isabel bolted up from the bed to rush over to Levi. "Big-bro, what happened? What did they do to you, you've been gone all night!"
Levi brushed past her, grabbing a new change of clothes. "Mama's here."
Furlan and Isabel looked at him as though he had gone completely mad, their eyes wide and mouths ajar. "What do you mean she's here? How?"
"She snuck in last night, disguised as a Garrison Regiment soldier. Mama even tried to kill that bastard, Erwin, but I guess he overpowered her and he knocked her out. She was being held in the jail cell beneath this castle. I spent the night in there with her, and now they're fucking fitting her for a uniform to test her abilities with the ODM." He was frustrated, and it showed in the slight shaking of his voice. Maybe there was even a pinch of nerves in there, fear that she would be hurt.
"For what? Miss Kuchel is middle-aged, what would they want with her?"
"The hell if I know!" He snapped, marching out of the room to go to the showers. The black-haired young man needed another fucking shower, now. He needed to scrub away the exhaustion, the confusion, the anger.
Under the stream of hot water, the sweat on his skin melted away, but what remained was a garbled, jumbled mess of thoughts that darted around his mind. Levi was normally calm and collected, but this made him feel like an anxious mess. Did his mother really sleep with a guard to get up the stairs, or was it a lie? If it was a lie, then how did she actually get up to the surface? Sure, she could have paid a few Sinas to get past the guard, but without citizenship identification or a visa, she would have been tossed down those stairs by the Military Police and left to rot.
Also, when did his sweet-hearted mother start cursing like a street criminal?
Levi eventually got out of the shower after brooding over his thoughts, trying to make sense of everything he'd heard in the rather unsettling exchange between his mother and Commander Shadis. The words that Erwin said to him before he exited the room were sticking in his mind like gooey honey on one's skin, and it was pissing him off.
Did he really know his mother like he thought he did?
The possibility that he didn't made him feel physically ill.
After changing into new clothing, he found that Isabel and Furlan were nowhere to be found in the barracks. They were probably dealing with other things, like learning to ride their horses or something, so he decided to go look for his mother. He went to the infirmary, and was surprised to find that she wasn't there. A nurse smiled at him warmly, pointing in a vague direction. "I think I saw her walk out and to the left, sweetie."
"How is she?" Levi asked, blinking in unamusement at the nickname.
"She's doing quite well, has a bit of a headache and is in need of some food, but other than that she is as fit as a fiddle."
"I see, thank you." With that, he turned on his heel and went to search elsewhere, his worries swarming in his head like flies around a pile of shit.
If she really did do that to get out of the Underground, it's my fault. I was the one who decided to go through with this whole thing, to kill Erwin and get us citizenship above ground. I was the one who forgot to leave any sort of note to tell her what was going on, and I'm the one that worried her. She wouldn't have resorted to coming after us if she knew-
His concerns briefly stopped pestering him when he made his way into the mess hall, seeing a familiar figure hunched over a tray of hot soup, a baked potato, and a hand-sized loaf of bread. Mama didn't look up at him at all, and something about that made his heart wrench a touch in his chest. She always looked at him when he came into the room, it was just something she did. Maybe she just didn't notice him yet?
Levi felt more crestfallen when he sat down across from her in the otherwise empty room– most Scouts were likely outside for training, or doing other menial tasks around the base. Her eyes never left the bowl of soup, and it made something catch in his throat. Only a few times in his life had Levi seen her so disheartened, so distraught and in a fugue-like state of despondency– and he loathed it.
The silence was killing him, so he cleared his throat. "I stopped by the infirmary. They said you were doing well besides a headache."
"Erwin told me what you did."
At first, he just felt a gnawing pit in his stomach when he observed her saddened look, but those words were like a kick to the gut, maybe two or three for good measure. It sucked the air out of his lungs, and Levi felt like he was being scrutinised under a magnifying glass in a scientific laboratory. Before he could open his mouth, she swallowed her sip of soup, speaking while keeping her gaze on her bread. "I don't know what I did to make you feel like you had to lie to me."
That could have made him throw up.
"M-Mama, no, I…" He sighed, resting his head in his hands and threading his fingers back through his midnight-black locks. This was fucking excruciating– getting teeth pulled would have been preferable to explaining to his innocent mother just why in the Walls he decided to lie to her for over ten years. "I figured that if I told you what I was really doing, you'd make me stop, and then go back to the Pink Pearl for money."
That made her eyes shift upwards, and he peeked his head from between his forearms to hold her gaze. He could see a sky's worth of sadness brewing in her silvery-blue eyes, watching her throat tighten as she let his words sink in, like one would let rose oil soak into ashy, dry skin. "Levi, I would never go back there."
"How can I be sure of that? You said to get above ground you-"
"I lied." His mother was quick to cut him off, her brows not hesitating to knit in offense. "And I find it abhorrent that you actually believed that."
He sat back in shock for a moment, and in the blink of an eye, she sprung to her feet, bringing her tray to the counter and marching out of the mess hall. Scrambling up from his seat, he pursued her out into the courtyard nestled in the centre of the building, which had a few benches and trees to enjoy. "Mama, Mama I-"
"Levi, it…" Kuchel sat down on one of the rickety wooden benches, appearing defeated as she massaged her brow to relieve some of the tension that was likely still bothering her. "I'm not as stupid and helpless as you think I am. Of course I lied. If they knew how I really got up here, they'd get me in even more trouble."
The relief that washed over him was incomparable, and he stood in front of her, watching as she rubbed the back of her neck. "So, Erwin told me that you're up here because he thought you three would be useful soldiers, due to your experience with the ODM gear. He then said he caught you and gave you the ultimatum to either join the Survey Corps, or go to prison for the crimes you committed in the Underground, and you obviously chose the military. What was your plan? Did you think I was going to take it all in stride and live without you?" She asked, standing back up and gently grasping his firm shoulders. "Levi, I'm your mother. I just…"
Her hands left his shoulders as some tears sprung to her eyes, and the noirette was quick to dab them away before they could mar her cheeks. Her voice cracked as she continued, and it broke his heart. "Were you just going to leave me behind forever? W-Without so much as a goodbye, Li-Li?"
Without thinking, he drew her into his arms, not having any idea just how many emotions she was dealing with at the mere thought of that being true. Levi didn't understand that he was his mother's beacon of light in a dark pit of sadness, that her greatest fear besides losing him to death was him leaving her all alone. He couldn't have felt the hurt in her heart, the clenching of her chest at the possibility that he had abandoned her like Kenny did.
Even without knowing how badly she needed the reassurance, he gave it to her. "No, no Mama. I wanted to go back but they wouldn't let me. I was going to try to figure out how to send you a letter. You know I'd never leave you behind or forget about you, I promised you that a long time ago. I love you."
Kuchel's hands rested on his shoulder blades as she hugged him close. "I-I love you too, baby… I just still don't understand all of this… Mama's tired... so tired…" He heard her sigh past his ear, and he released a tense breath in tow.
"Do you want to go talk somewhere else? We can go sit out in the grass by a tree and enjoy the sun." He suggested, taking a deep breath and enjoying the comforting scent of his mother's long, black hair that had been pulled back into a braid for the time being.
"That sounds nice… I missed the sunlight…"
The noiret pulled away from her, taking her back through the building to find a better place to talk. It was still quite early in the morning, and he remembered that Erwin said she needed to report to the courtyard for him to observe her– for what, he wasn't entirely sure. The clouds were covering the sun before, but as they went back outside, the golden heat beamed down at them, contrasted by the slight chill of the October wind. The crispness of browning leaves laced the air with its gentle, calming scent, and Levi remembered that the first time he smelled that, he took the biggest breath that he could, petrified to let it go.
Before he could let go of her hand, the puffy clouds above them seemed to dissipate and part at the perfect time, and Levi felt his breath hitch at the sight of his dear mother bathed in the natural light of the day. It made his chest hurt, his heart straining with love. He let go of her hand, reaching to brush some stray hairs out of her face that had stuck to her eyelashes, and watching how even the smallest shift in the light showed him new shades of blue in his mother's eyes. All this time, he truly thought her eyes were merely silver, or a drab grey, but no, they were blue, and it seemed like there were endless shades speckled within her irises. The sunlight caught her hair, and he could see how each strand was fine yet so intensely ebony black that it soaked up the heat of the rays.
"Wow… Mama… the Underground didn't do you justice… you're so beautiful."
Levi didn't know that the tears that dotted her eyes had begun when she saw him in the sunlight, and he was just as breathtaking as she'd imagined, if not more. His hair was so soft, each strand danced when blown by the wind and caught the sun, just right at certain angles, appearing to be silver for a fleeting moment before appearing once more like the colour of the night sky. His face was so handsome, and for the first time in his almost twenty-five years of life in this world, she saw his eyes in their natural glory, admiring the perfectly crafted turquoise and periwinkle undertones. No body of water, nor any stretch of the sky could rival what she saw when he looked at her. Her raven-haired angel was perfect– he always had been.
Kuchel couldn't help the joyous laugh that she let out, reaching out to touch and brush her thumb against the apple of his cheek, letting her tears trickle down her face. "Th-Thank you baby… and you're just as beautiful as the day I first held you in my arms. Oh, I waited for you to open those big, doll-like eyes to look at me, and when you did, I felt my heart skipping beats in my chest. Seeing you look at me with those same eyes, just under the kiss of the Sun, I can finally see how darling they really are. You're so handsome… How did I come to deserve you, darling?"
Kuchel brought him into her warm embrace, and they stood there holding one another once more, firmly, not wanting to let go. Her tears dripped onto his brown jacket, and as she cradled his head to her shoulder, she heard him whisper, "How did I come to deserve a mother as splendid, strong-willed, and patient as you? All you got for your devotion and dedication was a son that lied to you, that stole things for money and beat people up, that scared his own mom into thinking that he'd left her down in the dumps of Humanity to rot…"
"Li-Li, you said yourself that you weren't allowed to come back to me, that you'd tried to figure out how to send me a letter… and… I'm not pleased about the things you did, but I know you didn't hurt innocent people, or steal from those who were struggling to get by. You've got such a wonderful heart, Levi, and don't ever forget that. I'm hurt that you lied to me, but that doesn't erase my love for you, or how proud I am of you, how happy I am that you are my son. Above all else, I'm just glad that you're okay, that I didn't lose you."
There was a long moment of silence between them, and it ended when he retracted himself from her arms to look at her. She saw the uncertainty in his eyes, wondering if his mother was telling him the whole truth. All he saw in her own gaze was love, and the purest form of it. Levi may have lied to her, but she would never lie to him, and he knew that well.
"I love you, Mama."
"I love you too, Li-Li-kins. So very much."
They ended up in the grass, sitting together and enjoying the peace of the late morning as the sun climbed higher and higher into the air, blessing them with more drops of liquid gold upon their pale skin.
After some time, Kuchel glanced at Levi, and noticed the cravat around his neck. She leaned over, seizing the cloth between her thumb and index finger to rub it. "What is this, baby?"
"My cravat." He replied simply, rubbing the back of his neck and itching around his undercut, noting that he was in need of a trim. Damn undercut grew way too fucking fast.
"I know what a cravat is, silly, but why are you wearing one? What's this one made out of? It looks familiar but I can't quite put my finger on it…"
Levi cleared his throat, glancing away from her as she continued to examine the fabric. "It's a piece of your dress… from the old days."
"A piece of my dress from… oh." She glanced up at him, and her questioning pried the words right out of him.
"Yeah, I ended up wearing one of your dresses as clothes because mine got dirty. Rori cleaned it when Kenny brought me to the tavern, and I kept a piece of it with me all the time, even after you came home. It's my good luck charm, I guess you could say." He looked at the ground sheepishly, trailing his fingertips through the grass and doing anything to avoid her amused and heartwarmed gaze.
"Aw, my darling baby boy, that is so sweet. I had no idea you even had that…"
"S'not a big deal, Mama." The blue-eyed young man insisted, lying back in the grass. Kuchel still sat up, leaning back on one hand to keep looking at his face. "It's still very sweet… hey… wait a second."
He raised a brow, but when she touched his cheek with her supple fingertips, Levi knew exactly what she was looking at.
"Did your cheeks get sunburned? Baby, what did I tell you about the sun and your skin? Tsk tsk."
"That it would burn my skin if I sat out in it too long, I know… but I kinda dozed off yesterday after such a long trip, and lying in the grass to rest is nice, you know? I couldn't help it."
Her concerned look softened, soon dissipating altogether as her fingertips nimbly brushed some of his jet black locks out of his face. "Such a handsome little boy… I remember when you were still itty bitty and you were excited when I'd come to see you in Amelia's room…"
"Ah, Auntie Amelia… I still wonder what happened to her. I vaguely remember what she looks like, but it's fuzzy." Levi told Kuchel, staring up at the clouds that were blowing through the sky, catching that some in the distance seemed a bit darker underneath, but thinking nothing of it.
"She was this fiery redhead with a bubbling personality. Most of the other women hated her because she rarely let anyone get her down, and oh, did she love you. She loved you so much Levi, so intensely that she wanted a little one of her own someday. Auntie Lia was always curious and bought lots of books to read to you, and helped me teach you some letters and how to count on your tiny fingers. I… I still think about her, all the time…" The noirette admitted, lying back in the grass with her son, her braid resting against the greenery, and she didn't mind if tiny flowers got stuck in her tresses.
"You never told me what that note on her door said." He said, toying with some longer blades of grass. It was fascinating to him that so much green could exist on the surface, and here he was, just lying in it without a care in the world, even only for a brief moment in time.
"You remember that there was a note?"
"Yes, I do. I remember you holding me, and taking it off the door."
She suppressed a frown. Did Levi remember the events that transpired mere minutes after that? How Crystal had sent that disgusting man into their room? Maybe he had forgotten the experience entirely– the woman could only hope. "It said that she needed to go talk to someone about something important, and that she was going to buy some apples to bring back."
"That's it?"
"Mhm. And then we never saw her again."
The silence between them was interrupted only by the whistle of the autumn breeze, and Kuchel turned her head to look at her darling son, catching a glimpse of his profile and beaming with pride internally at his charm. Once again, she was glad he looked nothing like his father, whoever he may be, because all of the clients that Kuchel had ever had the displeasure of serving were quite hard on the eyes, to be polite about it.
Her son was peaches and cream in the summer, he was wind chimes tinkling in the breeze, he was her happiness, her everything. Levi was a gift she never knew that she needed in her life.
When she was younger, full of longing for love, she always hoped that one day someone special would come along, someone who would love her so purely that one of their hugs could mend together her broken pieces. The first time that Levi gave her a real hug, when he was about a year and a half old, Kuchel knew that her dream had come true, and that all she ever needed was her son. His love washed away her past sorrows, the mistreatment by her mother and father, the abandonment by her older brother, her miserable work in the brothel– she would do anything for her little boy, and even as he grew into a man, Kuchel still felt just the same.
"-ama. Mama?"
The onyx-haired woman blinked sheepishly, coming to the realisation as her son looked at her that she must have been staring at him, lost in thought. "Ah, yes baby?"
"Got your head stuck in the clouds?" He grinned. It made her giggle and reach over to pinch his sun-kissed cheek, drawing a playful groan out of him as he half-heartedly swatted her hand away. A smile or grin from him was a rare sight nowadays, so she wanted to cherish every second of it until it faded from his face.
"You know it, honey. Hard not to have my head in the clouds when having a raven-haired angel like you keeps me in heaven~"
"Maaa…" A laugh erupted from her once more as he brought himself off the ground, extending his hand to her to help her to her own feet. There was a tinge of rouge beneath his eyes, extending even across the bridge of his nose, that Kuchel knew was not sunburn. It was so fun to embarrass him sometimes. That's what mothers were supposed to do, right?
"It's nearing noon, and we need to make sure you're ready." He told her. "Come on, let's go to the armory and get your gear on."
"Sounds good to me." The sun continued to kiss her cheeks until she walked inside the building with her son, and he led her to a room that housed large gas tanks to fill the canisters, as well as ODM gear sets. Levi picked one for her, setting it on a table to inspect it. She stood by him curiously, raising a brow. "What are you doing, Li-Li?"
"Checking to make sure everything is in order. You're supposed to do that before you use it, to make sure no pieces are broken or tampered with. I know Underground this didn't mean much, but if your triggers don't work out beyond the Walls, you're dead."
He must have noticed the gulp she made, because he sighed and gave her a reassuring glance. "It's rare, very rare. These are state-of-the-art pieces of equipment, so you can rest easy knowing that the chances are slim of something bad happening."
"Chances being slim doesn't mean they're nonexistent."
"I'm more likely to get eaten by a bear within the Walls than have my gear malfunction out there."
"And if it does, and you get hurt, I'm going to be just as upset."
"Okay, well if that ever happens, to either of us, I'll owe you a day of shopping in the town." He mused, walking around her to set the main part of the gear onto her back before clicking the sheathes into the holsters on the sides of her thighs. "There, how does that feel?"
"If you get hurt, I won't want a day of shopping, sweetie. That would be the last thing on my mind." She huffed stubbornly, missing the way her son rolled his eyes as her fingers worked to test the tightness of the straps on the rest of her body, making sure they were snug enough, but not tight enough to squeeze the daylights out of her. "It feels fine."
"You're sure?"
"Positive. You think that gear I had on when I broke in was stolen from the Garrison, that I didn't use it?"
Levi came around, standing nearly toe-to-toe with her. "That was our gear?"
"Yes, Levi. I took it out of the cellar and used it."
"Okay, and then how did you use it to get out?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning his hip against the table, obviously interested in hearing just how his mother managed to escape the Underground with ODM gear she'd only been trained to use. Normally, the gear was impossible for the average civilian to handle themselves with, but once again, her son underestimated just what she was capable of, and she patted his cheek, much to his annoyance.
"I used it and a map that you left behind to find the Military Police guard post, near one of the lesser-used stairwells. I snuck in during the wee hours of the morning, forged a citizenship card, then I paid a few Sinas to go up the stairs. With the card looking so official, those idiots didn't think twice about it, and let me go without any fuss. After that, I found a Garrison post in Mitras, stole a uniform out of a closet, and then blended in to look like any other cadet. After that I grabbed a horse and came looking for you, Furlan, and Isabel."
"Damn."
"Levi, mouth."
He sighed, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck. "Sorry, sorry. But I can't think of what else to say. That's genius, I'm sorry I didn't expect you to think of that. Next time I'll expect some more conniving schemes out of you. Maybe I should have included you in my heists."
"Heists? I know you stole things, but you were doing full on heists, Levi?"
Now it was her turn to cross her arms over her chest, and to make him face the dreaded motherly glare. It wasn't often that she did it, but when she did, Levi always started to squirm, knowing that it was the same way he looked when he gave people looks that sent them running with their tails pitifully tucked between their shaking legs.
"Um… yes."
"Stealing what?"
Her piercing blue eyes followed him as he walked around the room, gathering his own equipment. While the dark-haired man was most likely required to put it on as well, she knew that it was doubling as an excuse to look anywhere but her.
"We stole jewelry, food, clothes… but only from the fat cats, not from people that needed it, of course. We just got sick of seeing those bastards getting huge shipments from above ground, only to price-gouge everyone who depended on those goods to survive. They benefited from the horrible labour in the mines, too, and you and I both know how that turned out. Hell, didn't some hundred people die in the collapse under the Rookery?"
The name of the place had her reeling back to just days before, the shuddering of the crunch of bones under her feet echoing in her head again. Was she ever going to forget that damn place, or would it haunt her forever?
"Yes, something like that, when you were still very young."
"Yeah. You see what I mean, though, right? I wasn't just stealing for no reason, it was to sell it to fences that would give it to reputable merchants that could be more reasonable with their prices. I was trying to help the economy of that hell hole, to try to bring some people out of poverty."
"I understand, baby." She sighed, coming over as he finished fastening his own gear to his legs to press a kiss to the crown of his head, which was easier to do since he was temporarily sitting on a bench to also adjust his boots. His natural scent flooded her senses, and his soft threads of black hair tickled her nose as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind to give him a warm hug. "After all, I didn't raise you to be a heartless monster. I raised you with love, to care for others, to give to those who need it, and to help those less fortunate than yourself. I have no doubt in my mind that you did all of those things, and more. After all, you couldn't help yourself when you found poor Isabel in rags, about to die of a cough."
Levi exhaled in amusement, turning his head back as much as he could to look at her. "Oi, I know I'm a softie at heart, gimme a break. Are you ready to go meet that bushy-eyebrowed fu-"
He stopped when she knitted her brows, and started over again.
"I mean, are you ready to go see Erwin?"
Walking towards the door with him, she inhaled a deep breath before exhaling it, trying to put the nerves at bay that were creeping up on her. "Yes, baby. Let's go."
She couldn't help but wonder; just what was the Survey Corps looking for in her?
[pops confetti canon] Wooo! We're finally past 100k! I feel a bit insane for writing that much in two months- am I insane?
Many thanks as per usual to my adoring friends, StarlitScarlet, LlamaaMamaa, and YikesIDontKnowWhatImDoing (All on AO3) for being my moral and mental support while doing this. I just completed chapter 12, and may need to take a few days of a break before going back to it. Writing almost 20k in two weeks was an ordeal. Plus the two smut fics I published while getting the next chapter done on top of this? Sheeeesh.
Um, Song Award for Chapter 11 most likely goes to Gravity of Love by Enigma. I forgot to note down which song I was jamming to the most during this chapter, but I'm pretty sure it was that one! It gave me a lot of vibes from Kuchel's perspective, very good song from my childhood.