L'endurance = Endurance
December 843
Being on the surface during the winter months was an entirely new experience, one that sometimes had her second guessing her decision to stay up here.
Except she knew in her heart that no matter what, she would have chosen to stay, even if it meant going through the hell that was the bone-chilling winter.
It was the beginning of another long day, and Kuchel sighed as she trudged to the stables, wanting some time alone with Ranya. The noirette had spent every morning trying to grow closer to her, trying to gain the animal's trust. Kuchel even went as far as to wake up before the birth of the new dawn, sneaking carrots from the kitchen to entice the feisty beast. However, the other day she had gotten the chance to make a run to Trost, and snatched a tiny sack of sugar cubes for a whole Sina– was it expensive? Yes, but she needed this damn mare to learn to trust her, and perhaps a bribe of sweet goodness would entice her to let down her guard, even for just a glimmering moment.
She sat in the stables for a while, and internally cheered at a small victory, which was being able to finally brush Ranya without her trying to shake her off. Kuchel enjoyed brushing through her brown coat, shaking out dirt and checking her over for any ailments. "I know how you feel, girl, getting poked and prodded to make sure you're not about to pop a joint out. That's what the nurses do to me, 'cus I'm old."
The mare huffed out a small snort, and Kuchel could have sworn that she saw an amused sparkle behind those big, dark eyes, but surely she was imagining it. Her mare still acted as if she didn't trust her, but seemed to find some enjoyment in listening to Kuchel's grumblings.
I'm insane. She's not sentient in the same way I am, she doesn't care about my stories. Horses can't think like that.
Right?
It still baffled her that Ranya had mustered the obedience required for the entire journey from Mitras to the Scout Base, and Kuchel wondered sometimes if she'd depleted the horse of her patience with the whole ordeal. Maybe the length of the trip disgruntled her, or perhaps the pace.
But that called to question whether or not horses were capable of remembering things like that. Like conscious beings could.
With the human-like looks in the mare's eyes, it had her second-guessing if they truly did.
Eventually, it was time for her to get to the training grounds, and she felt that familiar twinge in her ankle again at the thought of the first dreaded activity of the day.
Endurance training, also known as running.
Kuchel couldn't help but wonder if the Survey Corps had an obsession with running. It felt as though every day, hours and hours were spent jogging and bolting around the base, sucking the breath out of her lungs that felt like they'd shrunk five sizes in the bitter cold. She hated sprinting from one end of the training grounds to the other, and the Squad Leaders had the nerve to actually time them, to race them, like fucking horses. Unfortunately, whoever among the training cadets didn't meet the desired time, or whoever was last, had to do it all over again.
She was often last, and rarely met the goal for time. Thus, in the majority of instances, the middle-aged woman was left to run the same course all over again.
Surprisingly, the only time she didn't have to was when Erwin was overseeing the training.
The noirette had been placed onto his squad, while she learned that her son, as well as Isabel and Furlan, had been assigned to Flagon's. Fuck, she hated that smug, narrow-faced, smoke-breathed loser.
Despite the fact that she was somewhat grateful for the sliver of leniency, it made her wonder if he was trying to go easy on her, or if he pitied her about something. She hadn't told him about the injury all those years ago, so he couldn't know about that.
If Kuchel ever found out that this bastard was pitying her, she'd rip his hair out.
She arrived at the training grounds earlier than Levi, Isabel, or Furlan did, and she figured that they had taken the time to get breakfast, as per usual. Kuchel had never been a breakfast person, feeling like it made her far too nauseous this early in the morning, before her body had had the proper amount of time to even begin digesting the dreams of the night and the newcomings of the day before her.
It nearly drew a groan from her with every breath when she saw how the steam billowed from her lips, telling her just how awful the training was going to be today on her poor, aching body. She absolutely abhorred running in the freezing cold, despising the sight of her breath fogging out before her in despicable clouds, whether it be the morning, afternoon, or evening. The frigid air bit her nose, her lips, her fingers, damn it, even the insides of her lungs with every inhale.
Is there anything else that these assholes could make us do besides running? I hate this shit.
As she limbered up, doing stretches and touching her toes, the dark-haired woman pondered over the coming months, wondering just how hot it could get up on the surface during the summer months, and the thought of training in the sweltering, sopping heat. Kuchel remembered the few times she'd come up to the surface to see Grandpa Ackerman, and it had always been towards the beginning of the summertime, when the sun wasn't quite as brutal on the skin. She remembered Kenny dragging her along to a nearby lake with a willow tree to sit under, and the doll-like little girl giggled incessantly when her big brother tripped and fell into the depths.
"Quit laughin' at me, Chel!"
"B-But it's funny, Ken-Ken!" The ebony-haired sweetie cooed, rocking back and forth on her behind as she sat under the tree, giggling more when some of the willow tree's wispy, hair-like branches swished against her face, tickling her pink nose and making her sneeze.
"Oi, c'mere then, ya itty-bitty nugget!"
She squealed as her drenched brother scooped her up, getting her dress wet from his own soaked clothing as he took her to the water. Just before he dunked her in, a shrill, heart-stuttering voice struck a chord of fear into the small girl, stopping all fun right in its tracks.
"Kenneth! Don't fucking dunk her in or I'll beat both your asses!"
Kuchel remembered looking back at that pond before they left to go back to the Underground, seeing it as they passed by in a carriage. Pensively, she wondered what it would have felt like to dip her tiny toes in, to enjoy the refreshing waves in the ever-rising temperature.
Knowing that the heat she'd experienced as a kid was only at the beginning of the season, it was reasonable to assume that it would get much, much worse in the later months of the summer.
The mere idea of chugging along in air that felt thicker than soup made her heart sink.
Fuck that nonsense. Ugh.
"Cadet Kuchel?"
The booming voice broke her out of her thoughts, and she scrambled to stand at attention, swinging around to salute whoever it was. However, her expression lightened when she laid her gaze upon the culprit, none other than her blonde superior. He seemed tired, but then again, anyone up this early probably hated themselves, or they loathed the world enough to get up to fight against the daylight.
She couldn't tell which thing Erwin detested more, even after nearly two months of training under his supervision, not to mention the twice-a-week chess games he insisted they play. Kuchel was unable to deny that it was entertaining, leaning back absentmindedly and still being able to wipe the office floor clean with the tears of his mounting losses. So far, he'd only won the initial game against her, when she hadn't been trying.
He tried to ask her about menial things at first, like life in the Underground City, and how she had gone about a normal day. Bluntly, she explained that it was every man for himself in many parts of the city, that she'd once had to snatch Levi up and run from a maniac in the square that had started to slice throats for the hell of it. The memory stained her mind, of grabbing up the five-year-old, chubby-cheeked boy, and running for dear life, hearing screams behind her of agony as she booked it to the Pink Pearl.
Not a single place in the Underground City was safe, not a crevice was free from the terror of spilled blood, and no one person could ever be certain that their organs wouldn't be splayed out upon the ashen, filthy alleyways within a moment of saying goodbye to a loved one.
It was ruthless.
What did the Royal Government expect when they tossed together vagrants, vagabonds, vermin, and vandals like a goddamn salad?
He tried to peel back her layers, but the pith of her heart wouldn't budge. After so many years of watching her back, she wasn't going to yield so easily to his prying. The woman had walls, many of them, and sometimes she wondered if they were just as impenetrable as the ones that surrounded them, the ones that protected Humanity from man-eating Titans.
It was understandable for someone to be curious about life below the surface, but the interest he seemed to take in her personal experiences made her mildly uncomfortable. Instead of beating around the bush, she was blunt, telling him frankly that she didn't want to answer the question.
Why would she trust the man that stole her son with such details and stories?
"Section Leader."
"What are you doing here so early?" He asked, glancing around at the grass that surrounded them, watching the dew beginning to pool and condense, dripping off some of the greenery as the sun began to creep higher into the air.
"I woke up to groom Ranya, sir." She told him plainly, dropping the salute to continue with her stretches. Kuchel missed the way he watched her dip down, the look in his eyes of curiosity when she made a soft sound at a pull in her back. "Sh-Shit."
"Maybe stretching before breakfast isn't a good idea?" He half-suggested, half-asked, earning an unenthusiastic glimpse from his subordinate. "You've got nothing in your belly to give you energy, I would imagine your muscles aren't thanking you for that."
"Thank you, Sir Smartass, but I thought of that a long time ago. I can run on half a meal a day. You learn to do a lot with a little in Humanity's Hell." The woman tutted, standing back up straight to nurse the spot on her back with a gentle rub. Erwin watched her, seeming to analyse her every move, calculating her trajectory, ten steps ahead of her, as though they were still playing a dicey game of chess.
Part of her found it amusing that she had him this on edge. It probably didn't help that she had almost succeeded in killing him– that would strike fear into the heart of any man.
And this man had no idea about the one she'd killed while protecting her son, all those years ago. Kuchel wasn't afraid of getting blood on her hands.
"I was just trying to be helpful, Kuchel, I wasn't trying to talk down to or insult you. My apologies."
The onyx-haired cadet tsked in annoyance. "S'fine. What do you want me to do today? I'd like to get this over with. I hate running."
"I'm well aware. Perhaps you can run ten laps or so, then go get something to eat?"
"Oh, are you going soft on me because I haven't eaten? Don't take me as a weakling just because I'm older than you and I'm running on an empty stomach, Section Leader Erwin." Kuchel told him, turning on her heel to go start her laps. She didn't want to hear what he had to say in response to that, and was going to take the bit of leeway to give her ankle some much needed rest– right after doing these laps, though.
Erwin watched her the entire time, and quite frankly, today, she didn't appreciate it. Most of the other Squad Leaders did similarly when their cadets were training, in order to observe and take note of their physical prowess, but he'd seen her run laps a thousand times over by this point– since they never seemed to do any-fucking-thing else– so what was that bastard doing?
I still need to figure out a way to kill this bastard. Maybe I'll get a chance on the next expedition.
Eventually, Kuchel finished up her laps, and after doing so damn many all the time, ten was no sweat. Ending near the burly, blonde man, she caught her breath as she patted her hand over her bun, making sure it was still up properly. "Okay, now what, Brows?"
He raised his shoulders in what Kuchel took to be mild amusement. "Go get your breakfast, and then meet me back here. You're going to be doing some hand-to-hand training today."
The mention of such a thing had her giving him an incredulous look as she stretched her arm over her head, her other hand grabbing her elbow to pull the muscle taut. "Why in the Walls would you be having me train to fight against other human beings? And here I thought our enemies were the Titans. Are you hiding something from me?"
The question seemed to take the younger man by surprise, and her eyes locked onto his as he looked down at her. She truly despised that he was so much taller, having to look down upon her as though he were a gargantuan Titan himself. "Not at all. Cadets go through combat practise in the Trainee Corps because not all of them go on to be in the Survey Corps. There's also the Garrison and the Military Police, mind you. Those two branches mostly deal with the everyday citizens within the Walls. Therefore, they need to know how to handle rowdy and restless individuals in any situation."
She let go of her elbow, shrugging with a soft sigh. "I guess that makes sense, Section Leader."
The sun rose higher in the sky, and Kuchel watched as a beam highlighted lighter golden streaks in his hair. It intrigued her, as in the Underground, blonde hair never saw such dazzling light, and thus it was usually as overlooked as any other feature. As the sunlight traced over each strand, her eyes trailed over the colours, how some parts even seemed platinum at particular angles.
Gold sometimes reminded her of darling Rori Zorandis, whose last name she learned after some months of their friendship, deep below her feet in the Underground. It reminded her of the busty barmaid's tender love for her son, of the yearning she still held for Kenny, of her laugh that lightened the mood of an entire room.
Rori deserved better. Maybe one day, she could bring her friend up here. The last thing Kuchel remembered was the look on the other woman's face when she told her that she was going to break out of the Underground. Fuck, she hadn't seen her since then, and she must have been worried sick.
I should send her a letter…
"Um… Cadet Kuchel?"
A rouge crept beneath her pale cheeks as she snapped back to reality, now realising that she had been staring at Erwin for Walls knew how long.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
Clearing her throat, she ducked her head down apologetically. "Apologies. I was thinking about something. See you in a bit."
It felt like it was a matter of life or death to get away from him as soon as she could, to hide her creeping, festering embarrassment as she made her way to the mess hall.
Before eating breakfast, Kuchel desperately wanted to get some ice for her ankle. It wasn't inflamed yet, but knowing her luck, it was going to be within a matter of minutes. Due to the chill in the air, some small puddles on the base had frozen over, allowing her to gather some chunks into a handkerchief. The woman sat around for a little while, and she let the ice sit until it melted through the fabric and left her empty-handed.
Kuchel tended to ice her aching muscles and joints each night until she was shivering. She knew she wasn't supposed to leave the ice on for long, but fuck, it felt so much better with the numbness, and each morning, the raven-haired woman hoped that the ice had frozen over again on the little puddles, or in buckets of water that had been left outside.
Sometimes, she'd take a hot water bottle to soothe the aches in her back and abdomen from the countless ODM drills. She'd thought Levi had been ruthless in his training with her, back in the Underground, but these Squad Leaders could give him a run for his money. Looking back on it, she had a sneaking suspicion that Levi had gone easy on her when training her with ODM.
Now she was wishing he hadn't done that.
Breakfast was now the only thing on her mind, and by the time she got to the mess hall, most other cadets had cleared the way to go about their duties. The only one she recognised was darling Hange, who was sitting with a nice looking blonde fellow, similar in age. The brunette saw her, and waved her to come sit with them, and of course Kuchel couldn't deny her.
Something about Hange made it impossible for the noirette to refuse anything she asked of her. Whether it be help carrying things around, an interview on how she used the ODM, or simply chit-chat, Kuchel was more than happy to oblige, finding that every moment spent with her left a happy well in her heart.
"Hi Kuchel! You've met Moblit, right? He's my best friend, but he's usually off doing other things, aren't you, Mobi?"
"Eheh, yeah. Nice to meet you, Miss Kuchel. I've heard a lot about you."
"Oh, have you now?" She regarded him with a tender smile upon her peachy lips, finding it endearing how Moblit seemed sheepish and kind, yet held an air about him that he was responsible and courageous when he needed to be.
"Yes, only good things, of course. From Hange." He assured her, flashing a petite yet reassuring smile her way, which she reciprocated graciously.
"Well that's nice to hear. It's a pleasure to meet you too, Moblit. I assume you've met my son, and my nearly-adoptive children, Isabel and Furlan?"
Moblit nodded somewhat eagerly, chewing on his bread in a thoughtful manner before swallowing it down. "Oh, of course. I don't get to talk to them very much, specifically Levi. He's really quiet. The other two are pretty outgoing and friendly, though."
"You're right about Levi. He's reserved, as any smart person from the Underground City is, but he's a sweetie once you get to know him." Kuchel sipped at her vegetable stew, noting that it tasted slightly saltier than usual today– not that she was complaining, of course. "When he was a little boy, he would only talk to ladies, because the 'big Titan men' scared him."
"Did he really call them that?" Hange inquired, peering at her through those thin-rimmed glasses with curiosity and a glint in her ambery-brown eyes. "It's honestly hard to believe he was a kid at one point, weirdly enough. He's just so strong, so broody, so mysterious. It's almost impossible for me to picture him as a tiny tot with chubby cheeks."
"He still has chubby cheeks, but don't tell him I said that." Kuchel chortled, washing down some water before continuing. "But yes, indeed, he used to be so tiny that I could hold his head in my hand, and he liked to shove my hair in his mouth and act like he didn't do it. Oh, and one time-"
A heavy palm plopping on the crown of her head brought her words to a halt, and a familiar voice rumbled behind her, sounding sleepy yet mildly amused. "Gonna stop you there, Mama. It's time for training."
"Good morning, baby, did you eat your breakfast?" Kuchel whooshed into her motherly whirlwind, standing and petting his hair to smooth down flyaways, giving him kisses on those aforementioned chubby cheeks– the usual. He never complained, and the noirette was happy about that, because if he ever told her to stop doting, she was sure her heart would explode out of sheer sadness.
Logically, Kuchel knew that Levi was a grown man, but to her, he would always be her baby. She didn't want him to grow up and stop needing her in his life.
"Yes, I ate twenty minutes ago. Why are you eating breakfast so late?" He tutted, reaching to brush some stray hairs behind her ear. She always found it funny and quite cute that he fussed over such things, even wanting the hairs on his mother's head to be tidy.
Kuchel didn't entirely understand that that was her son's way of caring for her in small ways, just as she had done with him his entire life.
"Because I already did my laps. Erwin told me to eat my breakfast, and then meet him back at the training yard afterward. Are you going there, too?"
"Yes, Flagon said we're doing hand-to-hand combat."
"That's what Erwin told me, too. Well, I'm nearly done with my food, so I guess we should get going. Hange, Moblit, care to join us?"
The two stood to put their trays up with Kuchel, and Hange skipped alongside the mother and son duo. "Of course! Hey, Levi, have you read that book I gave you yet?"
He grumbled under his breath, and only his mother could catch the dust of mauve on the apples of his cheeks. "No, Four-Eyes, I haven't gotten to it yet. I'm not interested in Titans like you. I want them dead. I don't care about the theories."
"Awww, but Levi, you said you'd read it!"
"I did not. I said I'd take the book if you shut up. There's a difference."
Kuchel bit back an amused chuckle at the banter, quite used to their back and forth by this point. She could tell that Levi acted annoyed by Hange's energetic antics, but she knew her darling boy better than anyone, and could see through that rough exterior that he didn't mind her all that much after all.
They made their way to the training grounds, and found that Isabel and Furlan were already doing some sparring under the instruction of Flagon and Erwin. Once the taller blonde saw her, he waved her and the rest of them over. "Was breakfast nourishing enough this morning, cadets?"
"About as nourishing as stew and bread can be at seven in the morning, sir." Levi blew air through his nose, causing his mother to lightly tug on his ear.
"Levi, no need to be so mouthy this early in the morning."
"I'm not being mouthy." He insisted. "I'm simply stating the facts."
"It's alright, cadet Kuchel. Anyway, as you know, you're going to be practising hand-to-hand combat today." Erwin gestured to Isabel and Furlan some yards away, and Kuchel stifled a laugh when she saw the blonde flip the redhead onto her butt.
"Ow! You bastard!"
"I'm just doing what we're supposed to be doing. Relax, Isabel!"
Thus the training began. For a few hours, Kuchel was made to observe, since the instructors believed that she had no formal training in this sort of thing. They were right in that regard– she didn't. But it wasn't always necessary to get training from the military in order to handle yourself. Sometimes, all you needed was a slummy older brother and his band of thieves.
The motherly side came out of her when she had to watch Levi spar, but to her surprise, none of his adversaries could get a single leg up on him. Over the past few months, since they'd arrived, she had been fortunate enough to see just how capable he was, and when superiors praised his prowess, it made her beam with pride. It felt so amazing to know that her baby boy was such a skilled individual, with potential beyond her wildest dreams. Kuchel remembered in the days of the brothel, when he was still a bundle in her arms, that she wondered what he would grow up to do, to be like. With all of her heart, she hoped he would stay out of trouble, but she always vowed to love him, no matter what, even if he had to get a job in the same social rung as her own– though, of course, she would have rather died than have him work in a place like that.
She didn't expect her son to bring himself above the decrepit, dilapidated Underground City, to be a soldier in Humanity's fight against the Titans. Of course, she didn't expect to go along with him, either, but sometimes life had mysterious plans. This whole thing worried her, because she had heard from Erwin that even the best soldiers could be snatched and have their heads crushed between a set of yellowed teeth, with their bodies getting mangled in gaping, grotesque gullets that carried the rotten stench of decomposing, decaying flesh.
She'd be damned if her son got stuffed into the maw of a Titan– she'd sacrifice herself if she had to.
Even now, she had yet to see a real Titan with her own eyes. They were shown illustrations in the classroom, they were made to cut rubber napes out of fake, plywood beasts, but in her mind she knew that nothing could compare to the real thing, even if she had yet to lay her eyes upon it.
The Scouting Regiment's expeditions were halted during the colder months, due to harsh weather conditions, as well as a lack of rations to keep soldiers fed while out on duty. Not to mention that horses didn't appreciate freezing to death, and ODM was definitely not compatible with clunky, bulky overcoats. Grapples could land somewhere icy, and it would be a one-way ticket to the grave.
The only person that had made her feel better about Titans was Hange.
The auburn-brunette seemed to have an intense fascination with the creatures– no, monsters– and had nearly any book she could get her hands on about what Humanity knew about them, including journal entries of former Scouts who had survived expeditions. She had also been on expeditions before. In fact, she'd been on quite a few, having joined the Scouts when she was seventeen, as opposed to the typical fifteen years old. Just before Kuchel and the others joined the military, Hange had turned nineteen, and told Kuchel all about how her mother sent her a batch of cookies with a hand-knitted sweater to celebrate.
It was wholesome, and she let the older teen ramble all about anything that she wanted.
Hange had a special place in Kuchel's heart, she really did.
But Hange told her about Titans in as much detail as she could give, having sat up many a night to recount tales and experiences from different ventures beyond the Walls. She described how a girl she'd met in training got swallowed whole, right before her very eyes, a mere hour after they'd exited the gates. Another time, she'd sliced the nape off a Titan, only to fall to her knees and cradle the mangled body of another dear friend.
It was a part of the Scout Regiment that the average citizen didn't quite understand– people figured this branch of the military was a waste of resources, that they weren't trying hard enough to defeat the Titans, that those who were lost were just fodder.
Kuchel saw it differently. In these humongous Walls, all of them were cattle, awaiting a slaughter that seemed imminent. Time in that hospital after she'd awoken from her coma was filled with a copious amount of empty time, and it gave the noirette time to think about her existence in this world. Within her room, between her raving bouts of worrying about her son, she stared at the view she had of the Wall from her window, though she wasn't sure which one it was– after all, none of those nurses would tell her a damn thing.
The sun would set over the tippy-top of the Wall each night, and as the scarlet sky shadowed the grandest feat of Humanity, Kuchel couldn't help but wonder how long it could last. Another thing that boggled her was how quickly the largest of them, Wall Maria, would have had to have been built to keep Titans out. Every history book she had read said no more than "Walls Maria, Rose, and Sina were constructed to keep Humanity safe from the Titans", but also stated that the weapons of the time, cannons and swords, were no match for such virulent foes.
Who fought off the Titans while they constructed the Walls? How did they keep them at bay? How did they do it so quickly?
Kuchel knew better than to run her mouth about things like this– the Royal Government already had it out for her family's head over some power in her blood, which they obviously didn't want people finding out about. Therefore, she could only imagine that questioning something as vitally important as the three Walls would get her throat slit in her sleep.
"Kuchel, it's time for you to try it out." Erwin called out to her, breaking her out of her thoughts as he waved her over. The ebony-haired woman got up, ignoring the wincing pain that pinched in her ankle as she made her way over to him, as well as the cadet he'd picked for her to spar against. Standing in her starting position, her icy eyes trailed over the man, examining his features, though not paying attention too closely to things like hair and eyes– she was more interested in physique, stance, body language– anything that could nudge her instincts in the right direction before the fight even began.
Just from five seconds of looking at him, she could tell that he was ever-so-slightly unsure of himself, and Kuchel noted how his elbows and knees seemed loose, even when giving her the impression that he was ready to fight.
"Ready, both of you? You start on the whistle."
"Got it, Brows, thanks."
She was going to ignore the grumble that he made when she said that.
Facing her opponent, she watched as the man readied his fists, though she noted that he never raised his knuckles above his shoulders. It was an advantage that he didn't realise he was giving to her already, not blocking his head.
Once the whistle blew, it was a blur to those that looked on, but in her eyes, it felt like second nature, instinctual even, the entire world around her slowing down, each movement appearing to take minutes, hours even, versus the milliseconds for everyone else. Kuchel raised her arms, feigning a fake jab to his unprotected head, which caused the fellow cadet to lift his arms up in an attempt to protect himself.
A front leg sweep, to Kuchel, was quite simple. It was something that Kenny had taught to her on her first day of real combat practise with him and his gangly posse. It was a whirr, and utilising the opening he allowed the older woman, her right hand grabbed at the back of his arm, and her left palm crashed into his other shoulder. In a fluid motion, the raven-tressed soldier came hip to hip with him, swiping her leg around the back of his. With a jolting push and shove, Kuchel tripped him backwards, sending his dense, muscly body careening into the dusty ground beneath their feet.
Those who watched from the sidelines made no sound, including Levi, who stood with slightly widened eyes– oh Walls, he was really astonished. It wasn't often that something made him emote so viscerally. Kuchel tried to ignore the looks, and turned around to offer her hand to the fellow soldier. "Good round."
He nodded in agreement, along with a huff of pain. A sheepish feeling overcame her as they cradled their side, tapping out to take a break. Damn, did she fuck him up that bad?
Erwin had been watching as well, and cleared his throat to break the stunned silence. "Alright… who's next? Miss Kuchel needs an opponent for practise."
"Oi, bullshit, she doesn't look like she needs any more practise! She almost broke his back!" A male Scout jeered, earning a glare from not only Levi and Erwin, but Isabel and Furlan as well.
"Oh, you're just scared that Miss Kuchel's better than you!" Isabel snapped, nearly shaking in her boots with anger. If Kuchel didn't feel so embarrassed, she would have found the courageous stand humorous and sweet, but right now, it made her want to disappear.
"I-I don't have to do any more. It's okay, really. I didn't realise my own strength, I'm sorry." She said. Erwin looked back to her, as if to tell her to hold her tongue. Except, there was a flash of something in his eyes in the mid-morning sun, as if trying to calm her with a gaze alone. Could he tell that she felt her nerves fraying with prickles of anxiety, that she was already internally fighting to quell a storm of apprehension brewing in her belly?
Why could he read her like a book?
"Cadet Kuchel, don't stand down. You don't need to hold yourself back to appease those that find you to be intimidating. Suppressing your abilities does no good for this branch– we need all of the manpower we can get, and that means your capabilities need to be properly conditioned and maintained in training. Some men who join this branch seem to have a propensity for sneering and verbally putting down their female comrades." She watched Erwin look at the male Scout, ice in his eyes as he looked at him. "Like Hadal over there."
He then turned his gaze back to her once again. "We don't tolerate that sort of behaviour– after all, out in the field, Titans don't care if you're male or female– all they care about is your flesh, your bone, your blood. All humans probably taste the same, but if you stay on your toes, you're much less likely to be the next buffet for one of those monsters."
The words inspired her, beaming a beacon of strength and fortitude into her chest as she stood up straighter. "Yes sir." The woman put her hands behind her back, standing at attention. Kuchel's brow furrowed, cold air blowing over her features in the December wind. The chill didn't bother her, only pricking the skin of her nose and the apples of her cheeks, and causing a mild flush under her pale flesh.
I won't back down. Ha, they're afraid of a woman twice their age, huh? Pathetic. I can't let losers like that hold me back. Erwin– the bastard that he is– he's right. Pulling my punches will only get me devoured, and I can't protect Levi if I'm dissolving in the stomach of a Titan.
"Again. Who is next?" Erwin's eyes were flooded with disappointment and disgruntlement, detesting the lack of initiative and acceptance from his subordinates for the skilled individuals. Kuchel could see the hardness forming in his stern stare. Clearly, he wasn't taking no for an answer.
The black-locked lady got some turns going against others, including Furlan, who she beat with a quick manoeuvre to lock his arm behind his back, but eventually, she sat out again for a good bit of time to observe. She wasn't particularly interested in what the others were doing, besides maybe Hange, Moblit, Isabel, Furlan, and of course, Levi. All of the other Scouts trying their hand at self-defense was enough to put her to sleep, with cadets fumbling, falling on their asses, or just plain failing. How had they gone through three years of training, yet Kuchel and the trio were better after just short of three months? Either this batch of soldiers was truly abysmal, or they were just not well-disciplined.
Maybe, with some of the recruits, it was a mixture of both of those things. They were still just good enough to pass boot camp, unfortunately, which meant dealing with shit like the awfully dull and monotonous training session.
Eventually, they added in a little wooden knife for the soldiers to use. It turned the training exercise into less of a hand-to-hand combat practise, and more of a self-defense and disarming technique lesson. This too was not of any news to Kuchel– all of that time she spent with Kenny and his gang, of course she knew how to disarm a fucking knife from a stupid stud's slippery little mitts. Hell, she knew how to disarm them of their own nutsack if they weren't careful.
She had yet to use that tactic, though.
Levi, Furlan, and Isabel all had their turns with being the one who wielded the "blade", and, just as she had anticipated, they all made their opponents eat dirt. The three of them had always had unique characteristics, sure, but in combat, she could see how they fared differently. Isabel was the type to charge head-first, to rattle everyone around her and rally her allies to the cause, sometimes with a boisterous war charge before tossing all the weight she could into the opposing side, quite literally. Kuchel had seen her headbutt a cadet in the chest.
Furlan was reserved, taking more time to dodge attacks and swoop out of the way rather than making his own tosses and throws. The other soldier would throw a punch, and he would use it to his advantage, rolling out of the way to disorient his opponent, all while showcasing a brilliant, charming smile, ready for action at any time. He was smart, calculating, and knew when it was proper to pull away.
Levi was a different beast, and unsurprisingly, reminded her of herself with that perilous, potent glare of his.
He was the best fighter she'd ever seen, hands down. It wasn't entirely out of the blue, considering that she had seen him defend her in the market in the Underground, and once he staved off a petty thug from mugging the both of them. Her son had sent the criminal running with his tail between his legs with a mere kick and lob to the nose.
But his stance was similar to hers, and she knew why. Kuchel actively knew that her fighting style was meant to be used in order to outsmart and take down opponents that were bigger than her, allowing her to use their body weight against them. That was largely in part to her focus on aiming for their head, much like she'd done to the man who soured towards her in Henry's tavern for bumping into his big, stupid body. Causing immense pain to someone's face generally left an opening somewhere else to initiate a takedown.
Levi centered his strength on making everything hurt, combining the best of the fighting tactics he observed in order to cater and curtail his movements, depending entirely on the foe at hand.
Thus, when he was faced with a cadet twice his size, the poor sap ended up folded like an accordion-style book on the ground.
"Kuchel, why don't you come up and try to take a shot at it?" Her blonde Squad Leader asked of her, obliging her to once again stand where she had before. However, her blood almost started to simmer in her veins when he called Levi up to skirmish against her.
"Squad Leader, respectfully, I'm not fighting him." Her eyes dulled in vexation, half-lidded as her eyes locked onto Erwin's. He seemed mildly amused, and the noirette wondered what he thought was so damn funny about this situation. Did he really expect her to charge at her baby with a knife? Was he insane?
"If you'd please, I would like you to. It's not going to be a real, legitimate fight, in the sense of urgency. It's a sparring match, with a fake weapon, for practise purposes. Would you please go along with it?"
Kuchel sighed deeply, taking the wooden knife from Erwin and holding it in her right hand loosely, watching Levi come up to face her. "Do I really have to do this with my own son?"
"It's just an exercise, and it's a faux knife, like I said. You both are more than capable of disarming opponents, so it will be interesting to see how you both fare against one another. No one will get more than a few bumps, I'm sure. It's to help you, as well as Levi, get better at protecting yourself. Alright?"
"... Alright." Her voice wavered ever-so-slightly at the idea, though, once again, Erwin was right. Challenging her son would better prepare him, and that was what being a mother was all about, right?
They stood in the dusty dirt, facing one another and exchanging acknowledging nods, as if to silently tell one another that they would bear no hard feelings for whatever occurred in the next few moments.
Then the whistle blew.
Kuchel watched him ready himself as she started to charge, her brows knitting in concentration and seriousness, with her teeth gritted hard.
The moment almost felt like the world stopped before her eyes, holding her son's cerulean-grey gaze one moment, yet the next, as the sun heated their dark, black hair, and the continuous breeze brushed over their skin, she found it to be wavering.
It all happened too fast for her to comprehend right away– the way his eyes widened, how his joints stiffened, how a gust of breath left his lips, as though he'd been struck right in his gut. Kuchel skidded to a halt as Levi fell to his knees, kicking up dust from the soil when he made contact with the ground. It took her a moment to process just what had happened, but by the time she truly recognised the look on his face, his visage was already hidden away, curtained by his hair in his eyes, as well as his hands clasping over the sides of his head. He looked like a little boy, hiding away in the closet from scary monsters.
Was she the monster he was hiding from? What was wrong with him?
"Levi?"
The only thing that answered her was his shaky, uneven breathing, followed by a barely audible, heart-wrenching whimper that only she could hear.
"M-Mama?"
Thanks to StarlitScarlet, as always, for proofreading and helping with some ideas in this chapter!
It was a bit hard to write some of the combat stuff for this chapter because it was more coordinated. Previously, fights were on the spot, and didn't involve military techniques or proper training. In case you were wondering, I'm modelling Kuchel's fighting style off of Annie's, which is a mixture of Muay Thai and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Both of them are tiny, it works.
I wonder what happened there at the end? [puffs pipe] Qui sait? Pas moi.
Song Award for this chapter goes to Loophole by NOEL and Spock. Yes, like Noel Miller. This song was really just good for writing combat crap to, what can I say?