Rémission = Forgiveness

Early April, 844

In the Underground, their little room at the brothel had been their home, the place where he and his mother would curl up after a long day. It was small, but it was home, and he was quite content with it being just the two of them, embracing each night beneath the heavy blanket that Mama had saved up some pretty Sinas for. Damn, it was worth it, because it kept them oh-so toasty warm, and the weight felt like a layer of security wrapped around them.

However, one day, Levi's darling mother gave him a coin as she swept up the floor, pushing away the dust that snowed from the creaking, crackling rafters. "Baby, can you run down the street to buy some soap? Mama needs to clean the floor."

"Mhm! I'll be right back!" Levi wasted no time in slipping on his simply-made shoes, booking it out of the room and going through his usual routine of swerving between the prostitutes and patrons alike. Tobacco and boozy scents reigned in the lower floor, the lounging area, as per usual, but he didn't bat an eye as he bolted out the door.

As per her instructions, he got some soap to clean the room, and carried it in a small sachet that he began swinging by the string in his childish, absent-minded way. He took a moment to stand about, loosening up the sack to sniff the soap, which smelled something akin to lavender, he thought. Lavender was rare, but this soap was on the petite sale rack at the end of the cart, so he figured Mama would enjoy it.

"Mmmrow!"

The sound had him perking up just a bit, and the young boy's light-blue eyes flickered around, examining the dusty ground in his surroundings. However, the sound belonged to a figure that he only discovered when looking up at a rickety roof, having been startled when a tile fell down and with a thud into the dirt. The perpetrator stared down at him with big orange eyes, pupils wide and taking in every detail about him.

He couldn't help the smile that cracked over his darling features, and he pocketed the soap to reach out his arms. "C'mere, kitty kitty!" Levi even made a few kissing noises, something he only did around his mother, to get its attention, and he was delighted when the feline leapt into his arms, immediately rubbing its whiskery muzzle to his cheek. "Hehe, you're cute, and cuddly too!"

Now preoccupied with his newfound friend, Levi went back to the Pink Pearl with an itty bitty skip in his step, clutching the black and white feline to his tiny chest. Not wanting the pimp or any of the other prostitutes to see the kitten, the dark-haired boy tucked it into his shirt, letting the head poke out under his chin as he went in the back way. Those damn stairs were so creaky, just like always, but that didn't stop him from trying to be as sneaky as he could possibly be.

In the mind of a child, no tiny sound could ever be heard by an adult, right? After all, he was so careful!

All went well, and he knocked before scuttling into the room, where his darling mother laid in bed, trying her hand at knitting once again. It had been something she'd been picking up from Brenda, wanting to figure out how to make Levi his own little mittens and socks to keep his extremities safe from the Underground chill. She seemed quite set on it, only glancing up as he entered their more-than-humble abode. "Hi baby, get the soap?"

"Yeah, and something else too!"

He could practically hear her brow rise in curiosity as he turned his back to her, wiggling his shoes off by the dresser. "Something else? I'm curious, munchkin. Wanna tell Mama what you got?"

In a quite silly manner, he walked towards the bed, but backwards, not spinning around until his tushie bumped the bedside. With a beaming grin, Levi turned around with the cat's head still peeking out from his shirt. "Ta-da! I found a kitty-kitty! I named her Maisie, Mama, ain't she cute?"

Levi let the cat jump onto the bed, where it sniffed at Kuchel's knitting inquisitively. The look on his mother's face was not like most– many a parent would demand that a feral cat be thrown out of the house, but his mother was never like that. Her silvery-blue eyes softened with a delicate affection, an appreciation for the animal set upon their bed, and she reached out to caress its muzzle with the pad of her thumb. Levi buzzed with excitement, seeing how they got along. "Can we keep her, Mama? Pretty please?"

If only he could have known the heartbreak she felt at what she was going to tell him, if only he could have recognised it in her sweet eyes as Maisie curled into her lap. "Baby… as adorable as she is, this tiny room is no place for a cat. She would be hurting for freedom, longing to roam, wanting to come and go as she pleases. Maisie doesn't belong here, it's not what's best for her."

It troubled him, but he knew that she spoke nothing but the truth, even if it made tears burn at the corners of his big blue eyes. "B-But Mommy, if it's no good for her, then how is it any good for us?"

For a long moment, they sat in silence, and Levi watched her slim hand caress the sleek pelt Maisie was so lucky to have. If he had been a little older, perhaps the young boy would have been able to hear those gears whirring in her head as she tried to think of what to say.

"It isn't, baby."

The memory had flickered across his mind as he sat in the waiting room. He'd chosen a seat next to the window so he could gaze upon the stars. He still wasn't used to the fact that he could now gaze upon them whenever he wished. In the Underground, it cost a hefty Sina to be able to simply visit the surface, and now it was just there for him to admire at any time…well…at any time of the night, that is.

He'd been sitting there in the empty room, trying to calm his mind after seeing his mother in such an abhorrent state. He'd needed a moment to breathe, and the empty solitude had provided the respite he'd needed to gather his thoughts. And as he'd sat, a tiny kitten had scurried across the cobbled path outside the window, triggering a long forgotten memory, reminding him of the stray he'd seen so long ago.

For a moment, he briefly wondered what had ever happened to Maisie. If she had explored the Underground for the rest of her days or if someone had taken her for their own. There would never be a way for him to know.

Leaning back in his chair, he propped his feet upon the windowsill, hands folded neatly across his stomach, staring out at the stars as they glided through the nighttime sky, the moon following suit and illuminating the district with its decadent light. He drank in the sight, trying to think of anything but the image of his mother's wounds that seared into her poor back, how her flesh had been stripped apart by Walls know what. Levi knew Hange must have had some brilliant excuse, but did he want to hear it?

Not in the slightest.

He had only asked her one thing; for Hange to protect his mother. And somehow, some way, that was still fucking impossible for her? It wasn't like Mama was hard to keep track of, and to Levi, the fact that Hange failed to keep her out of harm's way made him think that she didn't fit the role that she had just been promoted to. The noiret knew he was being harsh on the one who he had come to see as a tolerable acquaintance, but he couldn't help it– it was already his fault that his mother had felt the need to prove herself by going on that stupid expedition to the North, but now she was more injured than he had ever seen before. It put a pit in his stomach, and he felt it taking root, growing tendrils that felt like they were seeping through every part of his body and sowing dread.

He had no idea how long he sat there, stewing, but it wasn't enough time alone before he was interrupted. The door to the waiting squeaked open, quite obviously needing some sort of oiling on the hinges. It made him sit up with a start and turn in his seat. When he saw that it was none other than Hange, Levi rose from the chair, not wanting to stick around to talk. "I didn't ask you to come up here and bug me."

"You didn't say not to, either."

"Tch, I don't want to talk to you. Not after what happened." He moved to shove past her, mind buzzing as he tried to think of another place to be alone, another place to wallow in his worries about the woman he loved the most in the entire world. If he lost his mama, he would surely be a wreck... After all, he had never known a life without her.

"Levi, please listen to me, I tried to help her, I did! You don't even know what happened!" Hange's hand latched onto his sleeve, fuelling some sort of anger in him that he had been trying to suppress. It ignited a flame in him, one that had him ripping his arm away and shoving her off of him.

"Don't fucking touch me, Four-Eyes!" Levi hissed, seething with gritted teeth. "You had one job, to take care of her, to keep my fucking mother safe from harm, and you blew it. You let a Titan maul her, you think I want to talk to you?"

He ripped his arm from her grasp and stormed out, ignoring her calls for him to wait. He needed some fucking air. Just when he'd felt himself relaxing, he'd been reminded of what he'd almost lost, and whose fault it was.

His feet carried him up to the roof without even realizing. He hardly noticed where he was until the chilly night air hit his skin the moment he burst through the door. He felt antsy, on edge, and didn't care for it. Strolling up to the edge, he gazed up at the stars, enjoying the better view he had atop the building.

That is, until Hange slammed the door open so hard, the clang of metal against wood echoed through the night, startling some stray bats that had been resting in the tree that sat next to the hospital.

Before he could say anything, she strode up to him and gave him a light shove. Perhaps at another time he would have been impressed by the glower on her face, but it had his own deepening. Especially when he had to glare up at her. For fuck's sake, was everyone taller than him?

"It wasn't that simple, damn it, let me talk to you midget!" Hange barked, giving his shoulder a hard poke.

At that moment, Levi's eyes took in the light of the moon once more, which highlighted the tears that had sprung to Hange's deep eyes that hid behind her lenses. The sight left him mesmerized, and it only put him even more on edge.

"I don't care to hear whatever excuses you've come up with. You made a promise, and you broke it," he growled.

As if sensing he was about to flee again, she grabbed his shoulders and held him in place, her iron-tight grip left him no way to escape.

"Damn it, Levi, you're going to listen to me!"

The tone, the words took him aback, and if he'd been the type, he would have gaped at her. Seeing no other option, he nodded, albeit reluctantly.

With him stunned into silence, she took a breath, and he watched as she stumbled back to give him space. There was a drawn out moment, one where the only sound between them was the soft pitter-patter of breaths that fogged in the cold air and the subtle chatter of the city's nightlife on the streets below. Not many were out this late, especially in the chilly weather.

It felt like that moment took an eternity, but eventually she pierced the silence with her delicate voice, a trace amount of leftover trepidation ever present on her lips. "We were setting up the base… putting equipment in the bottom floor… Miss Kuchel had gone upstairs to check out the tower, and while she was gone, this Abnormal Titan busted through the basement door." The memory looked as though it deeply troubled her, and Levi was able to see the slight tightening of her slim throat before she continued.

"And… it was blind or something, it followed sound… I was right next to it, and your mother made a split second decision to lead it to her, have it chase her off the roof. In exchange for saving myself and others, she got injured by killing it. I owe her my life."

Levi took a long moment to try to understand the words she had said, to comprehend that his mother had saved Hange and the others from what could have been a bloody disaster. In a strange way, it sent a pang of pride through him, knowing that she had been so brave, able to think on her toes in a dangerous situation.

Though, it made him think back to her words when they'd first trained on base, in the exchange with that asshole, Flagon.

The section leader raised a brow, as did Levi, who pulled his own rifle away from his face to look at her. The young man glanced at Flagon, who tutted in annoyance. "Care to elaborate?"

She didn't bother looking at either of them, throwing the bolt back again and taking a second shot. That one blew the head of the dummy clean off. "No, I don't."

There were obviously things about his mother's past that he had no idea about, but in a moment like this, when she showed skill that he had little to no idea that she possessed, it tossed him deeper and deeper into a well of confusion. It frustrated him immensely, and made him feel like he had nary a clue about the most important person in his life.

What was her life like before him? It must not have been pleasant if she chose to never speak of it to him, considering that she seemingly told him everything else.

Did she just not trust him?

No, don't just assume that. She loves you… there has to be a reason why she doesn't want to tell you those things. Maybe it's just awful… maybe she doesn't remember after that coma. After all, she doesn't remember our last name, either.

In those lingering moments as they stood there, Hange stared at him with wide eyes, wondering what in the world he was going to say, but it was rather anticlimactic when Levi let out a deep exhale, stumbling back to sit on the roof again where he had been before. "Well, you and I both owe our lives to her, now don't we?"

Hange seemed quite hesitant, but she came to sit next to him, cautiously, as though he were a wounded animal waiting to snap at her with drooling jowls. Granted, it wasn't like Levi was always the most friendly person, and he had lost his cool on her earlier over the entire situation, but after hearing what had happened, he couldn't help but soften ever-so-slightly. How could he be angry when his mother had put herself in that danger, had gotten herself injured like that?

"... Yeah." Hange trailed off, looking up into the starry sky, her foggy breath trickling upwards as they gazed at the twinkling lights. "I wouldn't be sitting here with you if she hadn't done that… Levi, I promise you, I would give my life to keep her safe."

"I believe you."

Everything he said seemed to astonish her in one way or another, and Levi could tell that the stress of this horrendous situation was really getting to her. It almost made him want to reach out, to touch her shoulder in an act of comfort. Hell, for a moment the idea to rub her back between her shoulders came to mind, but he quickly shook it out like a dog after a dip in the water. What was he thinking?

"You… you do?"

The man took a moment to lie back, staring up at the inky blackness of the night. "Yes, but if you keep pestering me, maybe I'll change my mind."

Hange squeaked in a fit of mild panic. "Okay, okay, I'll stop."

That almost made him chuckle. For someone who had just been promoted to Squad Leader, who seemed to love getting up close and personal with Titans, she sure had a certain way of being skittish.

He had no idea that she wasn't like this with everyone.

Eventually, Hange reclined as well, folding her hands over her stomach and staring at the heavens. The only sound between them for a long time was their breathing, and somehow, it made the quiet all the more deafening.

"Levi?"

He made a sound of acknowledgement, spurring the brunette to continue. "Do you know about constellations?"

"Constellations? Uh…" Levi paused in thought, reaching to absentmindedly run his fingers back through his coal-black hair. "I think maybe in books… but I don't entirely know what they are besides the fact that they have something to do with stars."

"Yeah, that's not far off." Hange extended a pale hand, pointing to the sky. "See that one, how it's twinkling and shimmering in the middle of all those tiny ones?"

When Levi nodded in agreement, she continued on. "That one is called Florian the Great. Well, it's his shield, anyway. They say that Florian the Great was a man before the times of the Walls, who took down Titans with only a sword and shield. Can you imagine that? He didn't even have any gear… anyway, he killed over a hundred before a Titan swallowed him up, and spit out his shield. The stories say that when his spirit departed from the world, it burned those stars into the night sky, so that he would never be forgotten."

"Hm, well, doesn't sound so 'great' if he ended up getting used as a chew toy." Levi muttered, earning a playful smack in the arm.

"Shush. Besides, it's just a story… Who knows if it's real. Want to hear some more?"

Although his eyes felt heavier than lead, he reluctantly agreed to listen to more of her tall tales, though he had no idea what the last thing he heard was. At some point, he fell asleep, and in the morning, he discovered that they both had been lulled into a deep slumber, despite the frigid air. Perhaps the nearby body heat was enough to keep them warm, or maybe it was the Scout cloaks that they donned.

It took him far too long to realise that her head had lulled against his shoulder, and that in the breaking dawn of the early morning, her beauty made his heart squeeze, though he didn't entirely understand why. He'd seen many beautiful people, what was it about her that made him feel this way?

In order to get up, he had to gently cradle her head, guiding it to rest upon the ground before he arose from his spot. However, he couldn't help but kneel back down for a spell, unclasping his cloak to rest it upon her form to shield her from the dewey chill of the morning.

Maybe he'd even gone as far as to brush some hair away from her face, but he'd never tell a soul about that.

Levi heard Hange stirring when he started on his way back down, but he didn't stop to wish her a good morning. There was too much on his mind, one of those things being that he needed to mend the bond with his injured mother, the woman he loved the most in this world, who had given him everything and more. It drained him, knowing what grief he had put her through, and Levi truly felt like the worst son in the world. Even standing outside the door to her room had him on edge, and the thought of seeing those open wounds again had his poor heart cracking into more pieces than he could manage.

How could he have done this to her?

She deserves a better son, a better life, a better everything. I did all of this to get her to the surface, but look where it got us… Isabel and Furlan are dead, and there's a rift between us that seems to be growing every day. I'm the one that lied, that put her through so much– I have to be the one who starts to mend the bond, because I think she thinks that I hate her guts…

His eyes were trained on the wooden barricade, and never before had his heart raced at the thought of speaking to his own mother, the one he knew would love him no matter what happened. It had never been like this before in his entire life, and he loathed these sentiments that brewed in his gut like the most foul pot of tea.

His gaze was locked upon the brass door handle, whose shiny layer flaked off on some spots, as though this hospital had been sitting here as long as the Walls had been up. How many times had it been touched? How many people had died in the room before him, and how many people came out alive?

It was an impossible number to know, but for some reason, those questions still buzzed in his mind as he reached for the knob.

"I'm guessing Levi's still back at HQ..."

The words he heard through the door had his heart stuttering, the familiar, feminine voice in all its comforting nature seeping through to his ears. His mother was awake, but why did she think he wasn't there?

The robust, baritone voice that replied told him that none other than Section Leader Erwin was still keeping her company. "He's here... He came in when we arrived, and then left, looked upset. I can try to get him to come back if you'd like."

There was a long pause, and he almost swung the door open, but the crack in her voice made both his hand and his breath falter.

"I miss h-him... My baby... But for the first time in my life, I don't know how to talk to him. I'm... I'm scared of my own baby. I'm a horrible mother."

She's scared of me?

The knowledge that his actions had led her down such a path had his gut wrenching, his stomach flopping over itself within his belly and squeezing with unbearable nausea. Without any more hesitancy, Levi opened the door.

When the young soldier stepped into the room, the open windows allowed the light of the early morning to wash over his face, temporarily blinded by the beams of light. After letting his eyes adjust to the brightness, he was able to make out that Erwin was sitting near his mother's bed, his book face down upon the nightstand as he held Kuchel's hand, obviously trying to soothe her tears as she sat up in the bed with her legs hanging over the side. "L-Levi?"

"Erwin, may I please have a moment alone with my mother?" Erwin looked at Levi with cautious eyes as he listened to the request, as if to tell him to be careful with her. Psh, bastard, telling him to be wary of how he treated his own mother… It was almost insulting.

Then again, he had hurt her. Maybe he deserved it.

Before Erwin left her side, however, Levi noticed something peculiar, something that he would bring up later. The Section Leader had lingered whilst letting go of her petite hand, and the way that their eyes locked made it seem to Levi as though there was something there, as though they could die happy looking at one another for the rest of time. Hell, he even took a moment to brush some onyx tendrils away from her eyes, and he swore that a hint of a flush crept over his mother's face.

However, now was not the time to bring that up.

After Erwin left and shut the door behind him, the noiret leaned up against it, taking in the sight of his mother in the bed.

It was quite obvious that his poor mother was distraught that he had heard her words, and he could tell that her heart was clenching in her chest, that her heartbeat was erratic as tears began to bubble in her eyes. "L-Levi, I... I'm sorry. Mama's so sorry."

Her agony, her anguish, it all stirred something within him that had him acting, and Levi did something he'd never done before, striding over to her bedside so he could drop to his knees, grasping her hand in his as he buried his face into her lap. He could hear her breath hitch, but he didn't care. "This is all my fault, Mama. There's nothing I can do that could ever atone for your pain and suffering." Fuck, he'd screwed up big time. The foolish mistakes he'd made had led to Isabel and Furlan's deaths, and now his mother's injured state.

Warm hands gently rested their weight upon his head, motherly touches brushing through his hair as the heat of her lap brought a comfort all its own. "B-Baby, baby..." She took her time with him, tucking some hair behind his ear whilst brushing her fingertips over his undercut. "I... I forgive you, Li-Li."

She truly meant it, he could tell. Little did he know that the moment he dropped to his knees, something cracked in her heart, and in her mind. Her consciousness had broken the nerves she felt when she looked at him, and it was a relief. "Mama will always forgive you. I love you so much. You don't have to atone for a single thing... You hear me?"

He lifted his head up so his watery eyes could meet hers, a few stray tears trickling down his cheeks. Uncharacteristic of him, even in moments of grand emotion, but he knew there was a time and a place to let his pain be known. "I don't deserve your forgiveness, Mama. I hurt you, in more ways than one, and now you're here, injured, because of me." His face crumpled, an echo to the innocent little boy he once was.

"Levi... My precious raven-haired angel... You didn't mean to hurt me. You never did. At first, I didn't understand that, and that was foolish of me. But ultimately it was my decision to go on this expedition, and to take on the Titan by myself. That's not your fault." Tears dropped down from her eyes, soaking into her pastel yellow hospital gown. "You'll always deserve my forgiveness. Because no matter what you do, I'll love you."

"I broke your nose, Mama. I physically hurt you. You were so upset because of me that you felt like you had to come on this expedition, to get away from me. Our last words were those of anger. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you…"
The reality of the situation dawned upon him, his steely eyes widening ever-so-slightly. "I could have lost you."

She gingerly took his face in her hands, cupping his sweet, soft cheeks against her palms as more tears streamed down her pale face. "I-I know, I know. Baby, I... I regretted it, every second I was gone, that our last words were angry. If I'd left you behind with those being my last words to you, I would never have forgiven myself." A sob wracked her as she brushed the pad of her thumb over the apple of his cheek, the guilt swirling in her eyes tearing him to shreds. "Mama was silly to be afraid of you... I know you'd never hurt me on purpose."

All Levi could do in response was nod, and for what seemed to be like an eternity, he let her hold his head to her lap, let her comb her fingers through his inky locks that oh-so resembled her very own. It was at times like these that he loved her affectionate side the most, when he knew that no matter what, he always had his mother to come to for comfort, even if he had been a real shitstain.

They were soon interrupted by a knock at the door, and when Levi stumbled over to answer it, he was greeted with none other than the friendly face of a nurse, one that he had briefly talked to the day before. Had he heard her name? He didn't remember.

"Hello, is Miss Kuchel doing well? Does she need anything?"

"For now, yes Miss. Thank you."

Shutting the door, he was helpless to resist his urge to press his forehead to the cool wood, needing a moment to take in everything that had happened.

Including the forlorn look that Erwin had given to Kuchel.

"What's going on between you two?" Levi breathed out, turning around to lean his back flat against the door as he stared at his mother, whose face was somewhat obscured by the angle at which he stood, as she had laid back down on her belly to allow the wounds to breathe once more. Though, he could tell her dark brows furrowed into a deeply set look of confusion, which was of no surprise to him.

"Levi, what are you talking about?"

He padded over to her once more, settling down in the seat beside her bed and crossing his leg over his knee. "You and I both know exactly what I'm talking about."

He was well aware that his tone was much less than desirable, and it had him kicking himself when he watched her eyes flicker to him, irritation evident in her gaze. "Don't talk to me like that, we just made up. Please don't start."

Damn it, he hated when she was right about him being a smartass. Mama was always right, and his stubborn ass detested when he had to admit it. Despite that, he knew that he was right about that look that Erwin had casted her way, the moment replaying in his head, how the Section Leader had gently brushed his knuckles over the apple of her cheek to move her hair away, how he looked at her as though he had never seen another woman in his entire life other than her.

The young man leaned back in his seat, and folded his arms over his chest. "I'm not starting anything. I'm stating a simple fact that there's obviously something between you two." His words were bland, dull-cut. Levi wasn't crazy, he knew what he saw, and no words of hers could change his mind about that.

He watched as she shifted in the bed, wincing at what he figured was a pain that shot across her deep-set stitches. "Levi, you're imagining things... He's my Section Leader and a friend... You know how I feel about men."

The sight of her so worn from her wounds had him worse for wear in his own right, and Levi took it upon himself to grab the jar of salve meant for her pain. Exhaling, he shifted his seat, peeling the blanket away so that he could gingerly massage the cream into her delicate skin. The scent had a hint of eucalyptus, and reminded him of the days long ago when he was but a child, scraping his knees and getting a similar medicinal ointment for his own boo-boos that Mama would kiss all better.

Where had those days gone, and had he taken them for granted when they had been right in front of his nose? Shaking his head a touch, Levi continued to apply the salve for his beloved mother, unable to bear seeing her in such pain. "I thought I did see something between you two, even before this. I had let it go, thinking that it was my imagine... until I just saw the way you two were looking at each other."

"I'm not looking at him in any special way, baby..." She breathed with a touch of relief, and his mother gently reached her hand to touch his face. "My handsome baby... I've missed you..."

He didn't pull away but he did lift his own brow in suspicion. "Don't lie to me, Mama, not when we just made up. I've never seen you look at a man like that before."

Levi would never admit to another soul how comforting it was for her hand to be pressed to his face, for her thumb to run over his cheek in that attentive, loving way it always did. His sweet mama had never treated him with anything but love, but care, but adoration. Sometimes it was hard for him to fathom that other people had parents who went out of their way to hurt their children… his mother had only ever treated him with a tender touch.

"Baby, I really don't know what you're talking about." Her eyes fluttered shut, lashes delicately kissing the porcelain pallour of her cheeks, though that didn't stop him from growing vexed.

His eyes narrowed at her. Surely she had to have noticed, surely she wasn't in denial. "The two of you looked as if you were seconds away from pouncing on each other. Like he wanted to just take you right here on your hospital bed."

Kuchel's eyes snapped open, in disbelief at his words. Frankly, he was surprised they came out of his mouth, but he suppressed the heat of the shameful embarrassment that was spreading over his face like a wildfire. "Levi! Don't talk to me like that, what is the matter with you?!"

Before he could gather up any words to save his ass, she continued on. "There's nothing going on between us Levi, nothing! Why would I lie to you? You know how I feel about that sort of thing, and it's insulting that you're just throwing that around like it's nothing!"

"I'm not a child anymore, you can't pretend I don't notice these things." The aggravation was building stronger within his gut. Levi knew that he would always be her little baby, but damn it, he hated being treated like a juvenile. "You've never looked at a man like this. I've seen it other times too, when we're on base and I see the two of you together."

His gut wrenched at the sight of tears that began to pool in her eyes, knowing that they were solely due to him. Fuck, was he only good at making her cry? "I know you're not a baby anymore, but how would I even know what that sort of look is...? D-Drop this, Levi. I'm your mother, I'm not talking to you about this sort of thing like I'm your buddy."

Her words sting more than she could know, had something powerful tugging at his heart, and it had his mouth thinning. He knew she wasn't his buddy, but he'd always thought them closer than just mother and son. She'd always told him that he could talk to her about anything.

Apparently not.

So, without another word, he simply nodded curtly, rising up from his chair and heading to the door. However, even in his anger, the moment he heard her whimper for him as his hand touched the handle to the door, he had to stop.

"L-Levi, please come back, baby. Don't leave me."

With a glance over his shoulder, the sight of her reaching for him with a pitiful, kicked-puppy look had his heart squeezing, as did the delicately quiet, "I'm sorry." that followed after.

His steps had faltered at the way her voice cracked, and for a brief spell, Levi sighed, pressing his forehead on the door before turning and striding back to his seat by her bedside, settling back in, though he remained quiet this time as he crossed his legs.

She tacitly reached for his hand, taking it in hers. Usually, the facade she mounted was incredibly strong, but now he could tell that she was riddled with a sentiment of weakness– pure, unadulterated weakness. Pallid like a sheet of parchment, sullen like the stormy sky, more tears came down her face, silently, but all the more destructive. "I-I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry. Please don't leave me again. I... I don't know what's happening. Even if you tell me that there's a look, I don't understand, baby. The majority of my life has been taking care of you, loving you, trying to raise you in this awful world."

The way she avoided his gaze told him many things, told him that those years before his birth had not been kind to her, though he had no idea what laid amongst the derelict detritus of dreaded days she didn't deign to dredge up again. "You say there's a look, but I don't know what that means... Mama's never had a romantic bone in her body... and at my age, I never will."

Levi's eyes drooped with the empathy he felt for her, and her son gave her hand a gentle pat, bringing it up to his lips to kiss it as well, in his tender, caring way. "If I left, it wouldn't be for good. The last time didn't end well when I spoke without thinking. I'm never gonna leave you for good, Mama. I promise you that."

Kuchel sniffled, and couldn't help another sob that shook her petite frame. "I love you baby. I love you so much, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make that sound so harsh..."

Following his inner childlike instincts, Levi slid into bed next to her, mindful of her wounds as he laid upon on his side, moving to stroke her hair dotingly. "I know, Mama. I love you too." He paused for a moment as he mulled over his words. "As for the romantic thing…just know I just want you to be happy. And I don't care who that's with, okay?"

The noirette's whimper was the first response, followed by her arms finding their way around him, to wrap him up in a weak hug and pull him near enough so that she could press a kiss to his forehead. "O-Okay baby. I just... I really don't know what look you mean. I... before I was blessed with you, I never experienced that sort of thing in my youth... I don't know a lick about it... so even if there were something there, with anyone, I wouldn't know."

The youthful soldier couldn't help but chuckle at that, and returned the kiss with one of his own upon her temple. "I know, it's something you and I both have in common. Just know…." He paused again, moving to brush some hair from her eyes. "Just know that he looks at you differently. Differently from the other cadets or even other women. You mean something to him. Whatever that may be…I don't know."

His mother moved to hold him near, inhaling her son's sweet scent that he knew brought her comfort, just as her scent engulfed him in a moment of peace.

Hello darlings, it's been like an entire month, sheesh.

I wrote a bit of this over my winter break, but frankly, my winter break wasn't long enough. I'm so burned out because of school, honestly, but now I'm back in classes, they started yesterday. My last semester of college... weird to think about. Wish me luck.

I can't believe AOT is finally back! What did you guys think of the new episode? It really got my gears turning to write this story...

Thanks as per usual to StarlitScarlet, she helped me a lot with the scene between Hange and Levi, basically wrote an alternative version I ended up using. Go check out her work!

Song Award goes to Death with Dignity by Sufjan Stevens. That song is so fucking Levi, and it legitimately makes my heart hurt for him. Give it a listen!

Also, as always, feel free to tell me what you think! You all leave such wonderful comments, I appreciate you. And Happy New Year!