Chapter 7 Christmastime & Moonlit Confessions
Severus rarely got any sleep on Christmas Eve, barely even a wink sometimes. When he was at Hogwarts, Mulciber always woke early, sometimes as early as Five O'Clock and he spent his first few waking minutes rousing the rest of his roommates much to their annoyance. Even though he wasn't spending his Christmas at Hogwarts this year, it seemed Lily had taken Mulciber's place in the role of ensuring he got no sleep come the night of Christmas Eve. At ten minutes past five, the door to his room creaked open, and in crept Lily, still wearing her nightgown and bunny eared slippers that allowed her to pad across the floor silently to the snoring Severus' bedside. Under the cover of darkness, only dimly illuminated by the scarce light of a crescent moon, she crept over undetected to Severus' sleeping form. She watched the peaceful rise and fall of his chest for a moment, mesmerized by the uniform motion and she hesitated; almost feeling guilty at what she was about to do. She vanished the thought soon after and reached his bedside.
"Wake up Sev!"
"Mmm…leave me alone," Severus grunted, rolling onto his side.
"Come on Sev, it's Christmas! Wake up!" Lily insisted, grasping his shoulders and giving him a shake.
"Fuck off Mulciber leave me alone, lemme sleep," Severus groaned, now rolling onto his front and burying his head in the pillow.
"Mulciber?" Lily echoed, her brow arched.
Just then, a grin formed on her face as her hands left his shoulders to grasp at the top of his quilt. With a firm tug, she yanked it off him, exposing him to the chilly air of his room(thanks to his faulty radiator). Severus' eyes flew open as he flipped onto his front in the blink of an eye, a snarl ready on the tip of his tongue as he prepared to give his insufferable roommate a piece of his mind. Before a word left his lips he found two luminescent green eyes staring down at him, eyes that only belonged to Lily—Oh…I'm not at Hogwarts am I? Bloody hell, how could I have forgotten?
"Lily?" He asked aloud.
"Yes Severus, I most certainly am not Mulciber. And I for one am not flattered by the comparison," she frowned, her arms folded petulantly across her chest.
Severus shrugged the rest of the quilt off him and reached for his robe at the foot of his bed, slipping it on, he followed Lily to the door. "I guess Mulciber serves as the Slytherin boys' Christmas alarm in your year?" Lily asked quietly as they padded out into the hall.
Severus nodded, "yeah. The imbecile is obsessed with presents, insists on waking us up bloody early every year. In first year I think he woke all of us up at just past four."
"Still…I'm not a big fan of the comparison Severus, I for one like to think I'm far better looking than someone like Mulciber—" she sneered his name with disgust evident in her tone. "Wouldn't you agree?"
"Agree on what?"
"Agree that I'm far more pretty," Lily prompted, putting her hands on her hips as she peered up at him in the gloom.
"I mean…unless you swing the other way, then I guess—"
"No I don't!" Severus said hotly, a slight flush rising on his cheeks that brought a grin to Lily. "I…most definitely, do not. And from a purely objective standpoint…of course you're f—far more, uh…you know—more p—pretty than him…than most, I—I should say. N—no contest, in my opinion."
"Thought so," Lily chirped, giving her friend a smile before turning on her heel and heading along the hall towards the stairs.
He gaped after her, his feet rooted to the spot as she walked away. As she reached the stairs she turned around, her brow quirked as she asked; "Aren't you gonna follow me? Or are you planning on standing there all day?"
Her words jolted him out of his stupor, and he quickly followed her down the stairs towards the Kitchen. True to form, Violet Evans had a platter of cookies and eggnog waiting in the fridge for them as Lily pried oven the device's heavy door. Violet always made Macadamia nut cookies and eggnog the night before Christmas and left them in the fridge for the following morning. Lily, being the early riser of her family on Christmas was usually the one to reach them first but always left enough for her family. Severus grabbed the pitcher of eggnog and a couple glasses whilst Lily carried the plate of cookies over into the living room. They set their early morning snack down on the coffee table and plopped down onto the sofa facing the fireplace. For a moment, they sat their in silence, merely enjoying each other's company as they sipped away at their glasses of eggnog; Lily loved the drink, particularly her mother's home made recipe that was quite possibly her favorite drink ever.
Her eyes glanced over to the Christmas tree in the corner of the room, glancing up and down the eight-foot tree and the presents that sat beneath it as well as the ornaments, lights and tinsel that adorned it. "I tell them every year, wait for me to come home before decorating the tree, they never listen," she said quietly, breaking the silence between them.
He turned towards her, his eyebrow raised as he finished the rest of his glass.
"I'd loved to have decorated it with you this year Sev, wouldn't that have been fun?"
He shrugged, an unsure smile on his face as he said; "I dunno, I've never decorated a tree before. Why don't you tell me what it's like?"
"I have an even better idea Sev," Lily beamed, standing from the couch and offering him her hand. "Let's do some redecorating instead."
They headed for the tree, Lily leading the way as she glanced up and down, taking in the arrangement of the ornaments and the tinsel.
"Ah, see this Severus?" Lily asked, gesturing to a crystal snow globe.
He nodded.
"It's a little too low, it's hanging awfully close to this red bauble here. You've got to leave more space between them…balance out the ornaments so none of them get in the way of each other," she explained, lecturing almost as if she were teaching a class. "So I'm gonna move it a bit higher, see? That gives more space, and fills in the gaps more nicely," she shifted the globe one branch higher.
Severus nodded in understanding, stepping closer to the tree as he looked over the overgrown shrub with a calculating gaze. For a moment, he stared at the tree in silence, taking in the arrangement of all the ornaments, tinsel and lights. The lights seemed alright, looping around the tree in a—mostly uniform manner, but he'd spotted a few ornaments that seemed to be out of alignment by his estimation.
"This one seems a bit too far to the left, it's almost hitting the light," he said, reaching for a red and gold striped bauble.
He removed it from the branch, intending to move it to a branch a bit further to the right—"too far," Lily said abruptly.
She was at his side in a second, she reached for his hand, gasping as she felt a surge of warmth when her fingers grazed his skin. "Not so far right Sev, see it's getting too close to that bit of tinsel, right here is good," she said, moving his hand a bit further left.
"I see," he murmured quietly, hooking the loop onto the branch Lily had indicated. "Thank you," he added thickly.
Lily merely smiled, before tilting her head back to the tree. "Let's see you find another, Sev."
Severus set to work looking over the tree again; after a few moments he found a conical bauble that hung too close to a circular bauble to its right. Shifting it left precisely one branch over, he heard her whisper; "Brilliant Sev, just like that."
He gave her a tentative smile back, "well I have a good teacher," he returned, his smile broadening slightly.
"Good? I like to think I'm a little better than that Severus," she chuckled, reaching for a green ornament dotted with white polkadots. It seemed Severus had spotted the out of alignment bauble just as she did since he was reaching for it as well.
Their fingers grazed one another—and they whirled to face one another in surprise, a quiet gasp of surprise from Lily overlaid with a sharp intake of breath from Severus. Black eyes found green and for a moment they stared searchingly at one another, the light supplied by the tree illuminating their faces in a soft, warm glow. Lily stared unashamedly into his eyes, only dimly lit by the lights, but beyond that, she saw a smoldering fire building within them. How can I have missed this? It's so bloody obvious. Sev really does fancy me…
Mrrow?
And just like that, the moment was broken, because there in the doorway sat Archimedes, the Evanses cat, that just loved Severus. Lily quickly took a few steps back from Severus, muttering something under her breath that he couldn't quite make out.
"I'll just…I'll got let him out Sev. We both know how much Archie loves you."
Severus nodded carefully, taking a few steps back from the feline himself. "Yeah sure Lily, I'll uh…I'll just keeping—checking over the tree…or something."
"Sure Severus, you do that. I'll be back in a mo'."
Lily then led the feline from the room, around to the back of the house to release him into the backyard. As Lily left, Severus couldn't help but ponder the moment, almost in disbelief of what he'd seen, and of what he'd felt. He was secretly grateful for his momentary solitude since it allowed him to think over what had just happened. Long story short, he had no clue what that was, yet a small fire in his heart kept burning that maybe Lily's long look at him wasn't one of curiosity, but of something entirely different in nature. He knew better than to lead himself on, he knew better than to pray for miracles, he knew better than to indulge that stupid, raging hope, yet that flame burned indignantly all the same.
A short while later, the rest of the family came down the stairs, Mark and Violet first, with Petunia being the last to wake. Unlike previous days, the house was unusually quiet and subdued in the wake of Marlene's abrupt return home a few days prior; gone was the rambunctiousness that one usually associated with her presence. Without her, the level of noise pollution present that morning was much more to Severus' liking. When Petunia finally came downstairs at just past six, the five of them headed into the kitchen to begin preparing Breakfast as per Evans family tradition. Started decades ago by Mark's father, the tradition decreed that every member of the Evans family would contribute to preparing Breakfast on Christmas morning, Severus was aware of the tradition thanks to Lily's long-winded re-tellings of her Christmas Holidays whenever she returned to Hogwarts, but this would be his first time participating.
The four Evanses and Severus migrated to the kitchen once Petunia arrived and began to cook breakfast in earnest. Severus fried some Bacon and Ham, Lily was responsible for brewing the tea and coffee, Petunia prepared some scrambled as well as poached eggs, Violet cooked the pancakes and french toast, and Mark diced some fruit. Within half an hour of cooking, breakfast was finished and with plates and trays laden with food, they headed into the dining room to enjoy their sumptuous Christmas breakfast. They set the food down, and the four eldest decided to take their seats whilst Lily played the role of gracious hostess to perfection, serving out cups of the tea and coffee she'd just brewed before finally taking her seat next to Severus.
"Thank you for that Lily, that was very nice of you," Mark commended as Lily sat down.
"Just trying to pick up a few things from Tuney dad," Lily chirped back, smiling at him.
Petunia snorted, staring at her cup of tea and the saucer as if it had somehow offended her. Pulling her disdainful gaze upwards to meet the eyes of her sister, she said; "Lily…pouring tea you're supposed to fill the cup about three quarters, not all the way to the brim! How am I supposed to drink this?"
"Oh come on Tuney, at least taste it and tell me if it's good or not. Isn't that more important than the presentation?"
"They are equally important, and if you want to become a proper hostess, Lily, then you would do well to learn that," Petunia sniffed primly, her nose hoisted highly.
"Now, now girls, it's Christmas, I don't want to hear any quarreling at all today, understood?" Mark said sternly.
"Yes dad," Lily and Petunia echoed simultaneously, their tones subdued.
"Anyhow, I think that's enough chatter for now isn't it? Let's tuck in before all of this gets cold. Happy Christmas everyone,"
A chorus of 'Happy Christmases' sounded out in reply, and without further delay the five of them began their meal in earnest. A short while later once their meal had concluded, Severus headed outside to shovel the snow that had fallen on the front walk overnight, Mark headed into the sitting room to restock the wood in the fireplace and set to work lighting the fire whilst Lily, Petunia and Violet washed the dishes and utensils. When their post-breakfast chores were completed, the three Evans women and Severus reconvened in the sitting room where to their delight, a warm, toasty fire was burning away in the hearth. Mark stood off to the side, shifting around a few of the logs with a poker, seemingly trying to dial back the intensity of the fire a bit. He heard the sound of footsteps, and upon looking up found his wife's gaze.
Smiling, he said; "I think we all know what comes next don't we?"
With a smile, they glanced towards the tree—specifically, to its base where a litany of presents sat. As they made their way towards the tree, the faint sound of scratching at the front door drew their attention away.
"Archie," Petunia muttered under her breath. "I'll go let him in."
"Thanks Petunia," Violet replied, as her eldest daughter squeezed by and headed for the door.
Petunia headed from the room while Mark and Violet pulled up chairs to the base of the tree. Lily opted to sit on the floor and patted the ground next to her, indicating her wish for Severus to join her. Severus seemed to be at a crossroads himself, stuck between choosing to sit on the floor, or to sit on a chair, both options seemed equally enticing.
"Come on Sev, sit down, only mum and dad sit on the chairs," she chuckled, patting the carpet even more insistently now.
Severus huffed a sigh, but acquiesced to her demands at long last, much to Violet's and Mark's amusement if their chuckle was anything to go by.
"How about you start us off, Lily. Bring out one present for each of us, Petunia as well and we can get started."
"Sure dad, just give me a second and—"
"Did the arrangement of the tree change? I could've sworn it looked different when I last saw it," Violet remarked with a frown, her eyes flying up and down the tree.
"That may be the case, I was just showing Sev some tips on how to decorate the tree. That…may or may not have involved moving around a few of the baubles and tinsel already on the tree," Lily said sheepishly with, her gaze pointedly avoiding her mother's.
To Lily's relief, her mother didn't comment much beyond that, only a faint hum as she continued to probe the tree for aesthetic weaknesses. Lily then reached under the tree and brought out five presents seemingly in a random order, she handed the first two to her parents respectively, laid the third on Petunia's chair and the last two for herself and Severus. The front door slammed shut in the foyer and Petunia walked in moments later, Archimedes eagerly following her in—then leaping on her lap when she sat down in her chair.
"Since this is your first Christmas as a member of our family, why don't you open the first present Severus?"
Severus glanced around, meeting the gaze of everyone else—even Petunia. "Is—is that fine with everyone here?"
"Of course Severus," Violet said, smiling warmly at him. "I believe that present is from me, actually, so why don't you open it up?"
"Alright then," Severus replied thickly.
He picked his present up from the ground, it was average sized, and from the weight and dimensions it appeared to be a book. He carefully set about unwrapping the present, taking his time to ensure the wrapping wouldn't be torn even slightly. Lily rolled her eyes at the display, having never quite been able to understand just why Severus would spend so much time trying to remove a gift's wrapping with such immaculate precision. When he was finally done, and the wrapping carefully set down to the side(still intact), a book lay in his hands.
An Expert's Guide to 18th and 19th Century North American Art
Severus had almost laughed, as his eyes found the faded title of the book, Violet was well aware of his interest in contemporary art—his mother's influence, and it seemed she was trying to do her part to help expand his knowledge in that department.
"This is really…great, Violet. Thank you. I only hope you find my present to be just as nice as the one you've given me," Severus said gratefully.
"It was nothing Severus, I know all about your interest in regard to anything artsy in nature so it's the least I could have done. Happy Christmas my dear, I hope you enjoy my gift," Violet replied, smiling down at him.
Severus' smile blossomed in response, he pretended not to hear the indignant scoff from Petunia that earned the older girl a harsh, but hushed reprimand from her father. He ducked his head and peered over at the present in Lily's hands. His present. In her hands laid a book, this one slightly larger than the one he'd just unwrapped, but due to his financial situation this book was neither new nor was it wrapped properly, instead bound in parchment and a tie. Lily, ever eager to find out just what present Severus had gotten for her eviscerated Severus' careful packaging in a matter of seconds, thus revealing the tome—one of the oldest that Eileen Prince once owned. In her lap, was a book older than the combined ages of everyone in the room, in other words, this tome was pretty damn old—over two hundred years by Severus' estimation.
Spellcrafting and Enchanting Methodology Edition XII
By: Herbert Prince
As Lily read over the title, a quiet gasp forced it's way past her lips and her eyes snapped to Severus' in shock. Her hands dropped the book in her lap as they flew to her mouth in an effort to contain her soft gasp. "Sev? T—this is your mum's right?"
He merely smiled and nodded. "Yeah. As the title suggests, it's about Charms creation. And since you're the best person at Charms that I know, who better to give this book to?"
"But Sev this is really rare! It's probably older than most of the books I've seen in Hogwarts' library!" Lily exclaimed, her hands skimming the worn surface of the book. She glanced upwards, her eyes searching out his. "I can't accept this. It's…it's too rare! Something like this should remain with you, Sev."
"After all you've done for me?" Severus laughed, "don't be silly Lily, keep it. It's yours now. That tome is all about charm crafting and enchanting so it's practically got your name on it." Although Severus was chuckling, there was a rarely heard insistency to his tone that Lily knew meant he'd fight tooth and nail on this. By hook or by crook, she would accept this present, there was no two ways about it.
Her fingers grazed the cover reverently and gently pried it open, reading the first few pages of the ancient tome. Lily's smile broadened, as she skimmed through the contents; she glanced up, shifted the old tome off her lap onto the ground and shuffled across the carpeted floor to hug her best friend briefly. Her parents chuckled and shared a knowing look that the two youngest children were oblivious to. Petunia scoffed but for once held her tongue and any derogatory remarks. Her scoff and glare directed at Severus provided him enough impetus to end the hug quickly and send a glare of his own back at Petunia.
"Thank you so much Sev. This present is really really nice," she said sincerely, as she settled back into her spot by the base of the tree.
Severus merely smiled in response, saying; "Anytime, Lily. After all you've done for me, this is the least I could've done for you. I'm sorry I wasn't able to get you something brand new…or nicer than—"
"It's perfect," Lily interrupted, firmly cutting him off mid-apology. "It really is Sev, this means a lot more to me than a store bought knick-knack, I still don't think I'm worthy of a tome this rare…or old though, are you sure you want to—"
"Yes," Severus replied. "You are, Lily. You always are."
The rest of the morning was spent opening presents at a sedate pace, the family spending their time admiring their gifts—Severus particularly so, and enjoying several rounds of eggnog, cookies and some hot chocolate. Mark tried to offer Petunia, Severus and Lily some Brandy and whilst the eldest was allowed—Violet was rather insistent that not a drop of alcohol was spared for her youngest daughter and son. When the gift opening was concluded, they all packed away their gifts and began preparations for lunch. Severus headed outside to re-shovel the walk, again, a smattering of snow falling on it the short time they'd been inside opening presents and drinking eggnog. While Severus toiled away outside, clearing the snow from the walk; Lily volunteered to assist her mum for lunch duties and together they made turkey sandwiches. Petunia headed out with Mark to run a few last-minute errands for their dinner prep(to their dismay they'd run out of sour cream and bacon bits).
Despite the mundanity of the day, this was the best Christmas Severus ever had precisely because of just how relaxed it was. Lily on the other hand was getting rather restless, despite having Sev home and being over the moon at the fact that he was spending his first ever Christmas with her, she wanted to do something more interesting than just lazing around inside the house all day and doing chores. So when Lily brought lunch in from the kitchen and set the table, she silently thought up ideas of what she and Sev could do to lighten up their Christmas and have some fun. There was also the need for a very important issue that needed addressing rather urgently in her view, and she couldn't help but smile at the thought, one way or another, Severus would know of her growing feelings for him by tonight and it's not like she was unaware of her shy best friend's somewhat discreet feelings for her either.
Lunch, like breakfast, was also a quiet affair. Violet, Mark and Petunia mainly discussed plans for their meal prep later on, whilst Severus and Lily spoke in hushed tones about what they wanted to do for the rest of the day. Petunia would be helping Mark and Violet, so that left the two youngsters with relative free-reign over what they wanted to do with their Christmas. Severus could have sworn he saw the always nosy Petunia—straining her ears to listen in on their conversation, but then again he wasn't sure, he might have just been seeing things. When lunch had concluded, and the five of them carried their empty plates and serving dishes from the room, Lily intentionally bumped into Severus and whispered a brief message in his ear before sauntering on ahead of him into the kitchen, dumping her plates, cutlery and glass in the sink.
Due to their contributions, they were excused from clean up after lunch so Lily and Severus headed upstairs to the former's room. Lily sat on her bed, whilst Severus lowered himself into her desk chair and watched her languidly stretch out her limbs like a cat; he'd always found that amusing.
"Sev I think we should do something fun tonight," Lily said all of a sudden, sitting up on the bed and meeting his gaze with a gleam in her eye.
"What something fun? Lily, this entire day has been fun!"
Lily rolled her eyes, "then your standards of fun are awfully low Sev. I hardly call reading books, shoveling walks, making lunch and having a glass or two of eggnog 'fun'—" making air quotes with her fingers, "—seriously Sev, you and I are gonna have some real fun tonight, and I've got an idea that I'm sure you'll enjoy."
Severus quirked a brow at that and leaned back into his chair. "Well you should run it by me then, Lily. After all…plans devised by foolhardy and glory-seeking Gryffindors hardly go down well when put into execution do they?"
Lily flushed at the insinuation and with a stamp of her foot, she retorted; "I hardly think that's fair, Severus. I am not some foolhardy, glory-seeking Gryffindor! Since when have you ever heard of one of my plans failing hmm?"
Severus' gleeful smirk widened. "Oh yeah? Do you really want to know Lily?" He asked sardonically. "Well…how about the time when you were caught stealing ingredients from Slughorn's stores for—"
"That was for you to show me how to brew the wit sharpening potion!" Lily huffed, glaring at him.
"That's precisely my point, Lily," Severus replied, as he chuckled lightly. "I goaded you and your Gryffindor tendencies into getting the ingredients so you took the fall for it, a Slytherin would never put themselves in such a precarious situation if there was something they could do about it."
"Oh I don't think it's that simple. You, Mister Snape display way more Gryffindor tendencies than you like to admit don't you?" Lily retorted as she folded her arms across her chest. "Like when I got caught trying to take the ingredients for instance, you offered yourself up alongside me as co-conspirator so both of us got detention with Slughorn. You, being my ever-brave, chivalrous knight in shining armor couldn't bear to let his fair-maiden suffer on her own could you?" She added, her tone growing more teasing with each syllable.
Severus' look of outrage and exasperation had Lily struggling to hold back peals of laughter that were just itching to release themselves. "Lily, how could you? You wound me! You would dare to think that I? Little old Severus Snape could be your knight in shining armor when you had arrogant, idiotic prats like James Potter aplenty in your own house to choose from? Don't get me wrong, I am flattered by the honor you choose to bestow upon me, but your house is practically a cesspool of arrogant, wannabe knights."
"As if I could ever like Potter the way I like you, Sev. After all, not everyone has a Slytherin's sense of self-preservation like you do, as well as a chivalrous nature like that of a Gryffindor. You, my friend, are the best of both worlds!" Lily exclaimed. "Potter on the other hand…he's nothing but an annoying, arrogant toe-rag who can't take a hint. Hopefully the sodding bastard will change his ways sooner rather than later, or he'll chase off every girl who isn't an air-headed bimbo in sight."
"Scathing words," Severus said with a mock affronted expression. "What would your mother ever have to say if she heard the tongue on you?"
Lily expression of annoyance quickly gave way to nervousness and a faint flush rose on her alabaster cheeks. "You won't tell, will you?" She asked nervously, chewing on her nails.
"Of course not," he replied, shocked at the thought even. "After all, as Lucius Malfoy once told me, a Slytherin should never rat out anyone without benefit for themselves, what would I gain from telling on you?" He mockingly parroted, trying as best he could to imitate the pompous prefect and his best aristocratic drawl.
"That actually brings me to something else I wanted to discuss, Severus," Lily said somberly.
Severus' eyes quickly found hers, he couldn't deny that he was a tad shocked at the seriousness in her tone. At Severus' confusion, Lily quickly clarified her abrupt statement; "I don't want to talk about Malfoy, Sev. Not that. It's about the whole…house situation thing, you know? Being at Hogwarts was just the worst for our friendship wasn't it?" She asked, giving him a somber look.
"Yeah…I kinda get what you mean," he admitted quietly. "My…housemates…they hated the fact that my blood wasn't pure. On top of that, they hated the fact I was best friends with a Gryffindor, a Muggleborn Gryffindor at that. And I know you faced your trials and tribulations in Gryffindor, all your friends 'cept for Marlene wanted you to give me up right?"
"Right," Lily agreed, nodding. "That's what I wanted to talk about, Sev," the redhead added. She tilted her head at her mattress, indicating her wish for Severus to join her on her bed.
He slowly got off the chair and sank down onto her springy mattress alongside her, he nearly gasped at the sudden feeling of warmth as Lily's fingers interlaced with his. "I don't want to lose you, Sev. I want us to be together, by each other's side forever, y'hear?"
Severus nodded quickly. needless to say, he was in absolute agreement with her on this.
"Severus and Lily, facing the world and all they throw at us, you remember that don't you?"
"You remember your silly little catchphrase from when we were ten?" Severus asked surprisedly, glancing over at his best friend through his curtain of hair.
"Of course. You're not the only one with a really good memory, Sev," Lily said chidingly, flashing her friend a grin. "On a more serious note, I don't want to be apart from you at Ilvermorny, I want us to be together like we weren't able to be at Hogwarts."
"You know I'd like nothing more than that, Lily. But how in the name of Salazar are we going to end up in the same house if we don't know how the Americans sort their students?"
All of a sudden Lily started laughing; and when Severus looked over, he saw a cheeky gleam in her eyes. "You see, that's where you're wrong, Sev. I do know how Ilvermorny sorts their students. There's another sorting ceremony over there apparently. Instead of a hat, they'll bring us over to this set of runic carvings, and whatever traits we have, it'll sort us based on what we value and what we bring to the house. I think we should both try for the Horned Serpent House, personally."
"Oh and why is that? Is it even possible to influence this…ritual to give us our favored house?" Severus asked curiously, eager to learn more of the houses at Ilvermorny, clearly, Lily had done her research.
"I think so, at least Marlene told me her aunt says so. They're…kinda like Ravenclaws in a way, and you and I are both pretty smart if I do say so myself so I think it would be best for us."
"I see…but how does Marlene know about this?"
"Her Aunt is the Potions Master there, remember? And she's also the head of the Horned Serpent House! Anyways she was quite helpful in telling me about all this…so I'll definitely have to write her a thank you."
"I hope she's doing alright though…have you written her since the funeral?"
She flashed him a rueful grimace and nodded in affirmative, "but she hasn't written back to me yet. She even sent Hunter back home without a letter."
"Give her time. You remember how I was when my mother passed right?"
"Mmhm."
"I didn't talk to you for a week, only when your mum sat me down did I start talking. She'll talk on her own time Lily, all she needs is an ear to listen. Merlin knows you're one of the best listeners out there…and I was a fool for not realizing and confiding in you earlier, Lily."
"Thanks Sev," Lily replied, her mood picking up slightly, Sighing, she threw her arm over his shoulder in a side-ways hug. "You're a good friend."
That's all then. A friend. Come on Severus, get real. As if someone like Lily could ever fancy a greasy git like you.
Still. There was nothing wrong with dreaming. Right?
Later that evening, after dinner which was prepared by Mark and Petunia, the Roast Beef Lily loved so much being the centerpiece, the two teenagers were doing the dishes whilst Mark, Violet and Petunia sat in the living room watching It's a Wonderful Life. Violet had never quite gotten over her childhood crush on Hollywood heart-throb Jimmy Stewart and she'd always insisted on watching the flick pretty much every Christmas since Lily could remember. So as Violet fawned over Stewart, much to Mark's annoyance and Petunia's amusement, Severus and Lily finished up their final chore for the day; the latter being more than happy to skip out on the movie she'd seen a dozen times. Besides, her dad and older sister had worked pretty hard that afternoon to prepare their dinner so it was only fair she did her part. Severus, ever since his shopping bonanza with Violet a couple weeks back had been working overtime, so she mentally reminded herself to pick up the slack. Smiling at the thought, she knew just what was driving Severus to do more chores, he really had an indomitable work ethic.
"Sev, come to my room after we get showered yeah? There's something I want to show you," Lily whispered, breaking the silence between them.
"What for?" Severus replied, as he scrubbed away at the platter in his hands.
"You'll see. Just…just promise you'll come. Please?" Lily asked, with a hint of pleading in her tone. For a moment, Severus thought he heard some nervousness…but it couldn't be right,
"Alright I'll be there, but it'd better be good. I wanted to get an early night since you woke me up at such an ungodly hour," he said disdainfully, as he threw the silently chuckling redhead a subtle smirk. "Honestly, I know this is your house and all, but who do you think you are waking me up at five in the morning?"
It'll definitely be worth our time. You just wait sunshine…you just wait. Lily smiled, her plan was coming to fruition, but to her dismay her hands were shaking, was she really that nervous about confessing her feelings to Sev…when she knew for a fact that he returned them? She sighed quietly and focused back on her work, she only had a few plates, a bowl, and some cutlery left to wash and then she'd be able to shower and…put on something nice, for Sev. Her smile returned then as she thought of his possible reactions to her confession, all of them ending with him kissing her.
A short while later, Severus was dressed in his pyjamas and slippers, the long cotton garment the best thing he had to ward off the cold in his room with the faulty radiator. He heard murmured voices from Mark, Violet and Petunia downstairs, discussing something about the movie or other that meant Lily was up here with him all alone. He noticed her door was open, and with his interpretation that it was an open invitation, he edged it aside and entered her room.
What he saw nearly stole his breath away.
There was Lily, sitting on her bed with her hands crossed in her lap, wearing a pink and gold slip dress, her hair falling down over her shoulders in slightly curled auburn waves. To him, she looked radiant, brighter than any star and he felt that fire burning within him roar hotter than ever before as his eyes found hers. All he saw was serenity in her gaze, and that worked wonders as far as calming his rampant nerves.
"Hi Sev," Lily greeted, her voice rather thick, "why don't you uh…come on in?"
Severus gulped, and tugged at the suddenly-constricting collar of his pyjama top. "S—sure, Lily. I…um, I'll just get the door."
"Thanks."
He grasped the handle and pulled the door shut, not clicking the lock due to Mark's rule of no locked doors in his house. She patted the bed beside her and taking it as his cue, Severus sat down next to her.
"Severus—"
"Lily—"
They both laughed at their simultaneous greetings, their mirthful chuckles momentarily easing the tense atmosphere that had settled between them and sense of nervousness they both carried. When their chuckles had abated after a solid minute of laughter, they threw matching fond smiles at one another, both doing an admirable job of masking the nerves that tingled, and their hearts that fluttered within them.
"You first Lily, please," Severus said at long last, when he had a better grasp of his emotions.
"Thank you, Severus," Lily said a little stiffly—especially considering the way she'd been laughing just a few moments prior. "I um…well I'd better just come out and say it, right? I know you fancy me."
And there it was. The unspoken truth between them that Severus had tried to hide, but Lily had learned of all the same. His feelings for her, that for the longest time he was sure remained unrequited, hence his silence and unwillingness to jeopardize their friendship over something like this. Severus had gone to great lengths to ensure Lily would never learn of his feelings, but he'd slipped up here and there on occasion and this was proof. He suspected it, but her words were confirmation that she knew, and what she would say next would either send his soul into euphoric bliss, or crush his heart in her iron grasp, never to beat again. He daren't speak, not even breathe as he awaited her to continue; ready to face his oblivion.
"You like me," Lily repeated, her tone still thick, and her eyes glassy. "A—and that's okay, Sev. I'm not trying to—to make fun of you, or anything like that…I know that—that this sort of thing sometimes happens, best friends feeling…more, or becoming more, together. I…uh, I don't want you to feel ashamed of this," she rambled, her hands that were trembling and shaking with nerves gesticulating wildly.
"Th—the point is. The reason that I have…said this, and told y—you this, is—"
Severus was stock still, nothing more than a mere bump on a log as he awaited the words that would spill from her crimson lips—as red as her hair that he was dying to kiss. Those words would either make him…or destroy him, there was no in-between, he knew his heart belonged to her and to only her, there was no-one else that had or could lay claim to it. If she still chose to crush his hopes—to extinguish that stubborn flame that flickered away in the deepest recess of his soul—and refused to die, then the least he could do was take it with his chin high and proud. So with a face as cold as stone, his eyes unfeeling, he prepared himself to have his soul bared once again for Lily—when have I ever been able to deny her?
"—I think I like you too Sev—" Wait what? "—Actually…I meant to say I know I do. I've been feeling this…thing, for some time. And I haven't been able to explain it…or understand it, but whenever I'm around you, I just feel so good. Better than any best friend could make me, and I—" Lily paused, she knew she was rambling but the sight of Severus' awestruck face brought about her abrupt silence.
His jaw was slacked, his onyx pupils—dilated beyond belief, he was panting quietly, soft breaths coming in and out now more obvious than ever in lieu of her silence. He almost looked catatonic…and the sight of him, so shocked and disbelieving…it was sending her heart into a frenzy, catapulting over and over within her chest. The sight of him nearly took her breath away, but her heart began to slow—clenching within her chest as she deduced the likely cause of his shock.
He doesn't believe me. He doesn't believe that I like him…I guess I'll just have to show him, then.
She reached out for his hand and he jumped—nearly a foot off the bed. Her fingers interlaced between his—feeling the coolness and clamminess of his hands, whilst her eyes found his again. He hadn't said a word, his gaze on hers, almost painful in its intensity—but gone was his disbelief, gone was his unsureness and just…utter sense of loss. Twinkling away in his bottomless black eyes was hope. Hope. Hope that all of this was real, that this wasn't some dream, or a prank, or anything of the sort. She loved that look, and seeing him look so hopeful, made her heart thrum loudly in her chest and the flame she'd been stoking roar up hotter than a solar flare. Knowing the unfathomable depths Sev's misery had reached in his short life, seeing him happy made her happy beyond compare. She was his happiness—she was his light, and knowing that she held the power in the palm of her hand to make him happy was euphoric to her.
All she could say, all she could feel was; "Sev…"
The rest of the words she wanted to say died on her tongue. She had so much more to tell him, so much more to assure him of, to calm his perturbed soul and promise that this was real and that she wasn't lying, nor was she doing this as part of some cruel, heartless prank. She wanted him to feel her heart, feel her soul—neither of which could lie to him and immerse himself in the truth that was her newfound feelings for her best friend. But she never even had a chance to speak.
She could only sit still with widened eyes as Severus leaned closer and planted his lips—ever so fleetingly, on her's. A gentle touch that was all too brief, yet conveyed enough emotion for a life-time; just like that, her world exploded.
A/N: Did I rush them getting together? Eh, I might have. In universe, Lily's been sitting on the knowledge that Severus fancies her since she heard Sirius shit-talking with Severus on their last night there. She just had to get her own feelings sorted out, and what sealed the deal as far as her learning of her own feelings for Severus was Chapter 5. That whole experience with him, and his father, is where Lily reached a turning point when her own feelings shifted from platonic to romantic. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and I shall see you all in the next one.