A/N
Well I have spent the better part of the last two nights researching domestic violence cases and writing court chapters, including writing Callie a Victim Impact Statement and to say my head is battered is an understatement. This fic can be really draining to write sometimes. Dont get me wrong I love writing and I love getting feedback from you all but sometimes, like tonight, I do question if its worth it. It can bring up alot of horrid memories from my childhood which really takes it out of me... however saying that, i'm almost done writing the dark stuff (well the majority of it, there is a 'scene' that I have planned that a guest reviewer has guessed but that's way down the track!) and then it will be all about getting our girls to admit their feelings to each other and them building a life together so that should be much easier to write!
Anyways onto this chapter, quite alot happens for poor Callie in this chapter, my heart goes out to her. its never ending for her and she has such a long road ahead of her, but shes a survivor.. she will get through it will a little bit of help from a certain blonde.
Onto the chapter, please enjoy and dont hesitate to drop a review when youve finished, even if its just to say 'good job' (or to guess at future plot lines... you never know you might see your guess in this fic). If there is something specific you would like to see happen, I could use all the inspiration I can get so you can PM me and I will respond... I always respond!
Enjoy
AL
-oOo-
Three days had passed seeing both sets of parents visiting daily and Arizona staying vigil by Callie's bedside despite having been released herself. There hadn't been much more conversation, Arizona opting to keep it light and trying to build Callie's broken spirit back up.
Their card game was interrupted by a knock on their door, both women looked up to see the two detectives stood smiling carefully.
"Good afternoon Mrs Thompson, Miss Robbins, we were wondering if now would be a good time to take a statement from Mrs Thompson" the first detective asked as he entered the room.
Arizona glanced at Callie and could see the nervousness emanating from her.
"I'm not sure now is a goodtime" Arizona offered the two detectives a tight smile.
"No its ok, I have to do this sometime it may as well be now" Callie offered meekly. "Can Arizona stay though?"
"Of course" the second detective replied as he grabbed two chairs and pulled them closer. Once they were seated and had pulled a Dictaphone from his pocket he smiled softly and began "Mrs Thompson..."
"It's Miss Torres, I don't want his name or anything to do with him" Callie informed with a wavering voice.
"Of course, Ms Torres" he began again "We are going to ask you a series of questions and we just need you to answer as best as you can, if you need to take a break just let us know, we are going to record the interview if that's ok with you?"
Callie nodded and grabbed for Arizona's hand with her casted hand, linking their fingers and holding on for strength.
Once the interview started Callie's voice became monotone as she answered the questions asked of her duly, trying to ignore the pained gasps and sighs from the blonde beside her.
"We have it on record that you have no medical history from the previous three years, can you tell us how that is possible when you have injuries which date back to that three year period"
"He had me locked in the house and I wasn't allowed to leave, there were bars over the windows and security sensors on the doors too. He had a friend living across the street who would keep an eye on me when he was at work"
"Did you ever meet this friend?"
"No but I knew they were watching, when I would clean the window's I would see the curtains twitching from the opposite side of the street, Earl he... he told me that he knew my every move even when he wasn't home to watch me"
"Ok we will look into the matter, do you know which number house this was at?"
"Number 9, it's the scruffy looking house directly opposite"
"Ok thank you. So, if you weren't allowed to leave the house how did your injuries get treated?"
"I was in med school and learned a lot before he forced me to drop out, I read up a lot on orthopaedics, it's what I was going to specialise in. He... Earl he bought me a first aid kit and I learned to look after myself, I would reset my own bones and suture up any cuts"
"We have here that you put in a restraining order against your parents a little over two years ago, can you explain why you did that?"
"I didn't, I didn't even know there was a restraining order until Chief Webber told me about it, I don't know how he did that"
"So you never put a restraining order against your parents?"
"No"
"Now back to you being held against your own will, did you ever try to escape"
"Once, I tried to sneak out in the middle of the night when we first moved into the house, he caught me and beat me. That's when he put sensors on the doors and had the windows barred, he said they were there to look like we were keeping people out"
"Did you ever try to call for help?"
"I had no way to, he removed my laptop, took my cell and gave me just a pager, that's how he would contact me to let me know when he would be home for dinner so I had it waiting for him"
"We did a search of your premises and found a pager so that collaborates with your version of events. Mr Thompson is claiming that this is all a misunderstanding as you can expect so it's imperative that we gain every piece of information we can, anything that strengthens your case. Now in your medical records it states that you are pregnant and I'm sorry but I have to ask, was this baby conceived by conceptual means"
"No" Callie whispered.
"I'm sorry did you say no?" the detective asked knowing that the Dictaphone probably never picked up her answer.
"Our relationship was only consensual until the first time he beat me, after that he would force himself on me... he would... he would rape me" Callie sobbed.
"I know this is hard Ms Torres but were almost done here. Can you tell me how many times he has raped you?"
"I don't know... maybe... like... ummm... probably every other day, sometimes It would be longer in between sometimes shorter"
"Ok I think that is all we need right now. We may be back with some more questions but what you're saying is backing up all the evidence we have from your friend here and from our own search. Mr Thompson is being held in custody at the moment on the charges against Miss Robbins whilst we build a case against him for his abuse on you."
"Thankyou"
"Our pleasure, like I said he is still claiming his innocence but we are building a strong case against him and I am confident that we will get a conviction at the end of this."
The police officers made their final dictations for the device and left the two women to it.
"Are you ok?" Arizona asked eventually.
"No" Callie offered honestly. "I'm mortified, embarrassed, ashamed, scared but one thing I'm not is ok" Callie whispered hoarsely.
"You have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about Calliope. You're a survivor in this"
"Can we just not, I think I'd like to be alone for a bit"
"Ok, well I will just go grab us a couple of coffees from the canteen and give you a few moments"
-oOo-
Whilst in the queue at the coffee cart, Dr Webber approached Arizona with a kind smile.
"How are you holding up Miss Robbins"
"Oh Chief Webber, I'm doing ok thanks. I can't say the same for Calliope, this is all very hard on her"
"I imagine it would be, but she has a good friend in you. Listen I just got word that they will allow you to sit your boards next week with the California students."
"Oh that's fantastic, I won't let you down sir"
"I don't doubt it, from what I have seen so far you are going to make an exceptional doctor, have you thought about a speciality yet, I would love to have you in general"
"Sorry sir but I have my heart set on peads. For the last few years I have been volunteering at the peads ward and it's stolen my heart"
"Very well, but keep general in mind. I spoke to the licensing people and that software will be available for release in the fall, I have already placed an order for it and will have my doctors trained to use it, it's an incredible tool"
"That it is, I never imagined when we started using it that it would come in so helpful"
"Yes I imagine, anyways I have a hospital to run so I better get back to it, enjoy your coffee miss Robbins"
"Yes chief, thankyou"
Arizona was buzzing, next week she would sit her boards and be that step closer to being a real doctor.
-oOo-
"How are you feeling?" Arizona asked as she placed the coffee cup on the tray so the Latina could get it.
"Fabulous" Callie snarked.
"Ok then" Arizona sighed, dumping herself back in the chair she had occupied for days. "Cal what's going on?"
"I'm sorry I just have a lot on my mind" Callie offered meekly.
"It's ok, I get that you have a lot to think about but you know I'm here to listen" Arizona offered as she took Callie's injured hand softly in her own.
"What am I going to do about the baby?" Callie asked nervously.
"What would you like to do, what are your options?" Arizona asked carefully.
"I don't think I could have an abortion, I don't think I could live with myself, but do I keep the baby or give it away, I'm equal parts scared that I'm either going to love it the second its born or hate it, I don't know which would be worse" Fat tears fell from chocolate coloured eyes.
"Hey its ok, you know that you don't need to make a decision yet, you don't need to decide anything until this little one is born" Arizona soothed.
"But if I keep it then I need to be prepared, there are all kinds of things I'm going to need"
"And you have a trust fund that will pay for all of that, you can order it online and have it delivered next day, that's no biggie"
Their conversation is interrupted by a knock on the door, the two women look up to find a woman they don't know.
"Hi can we help?" Arizona asks.
"Hi I'm Dr Warner, I'm Callie's psychologist, you must be Arizona?" The tall woman asks as she enters the room slightly and stands at the door way.
"Yeah that's me, and this is Callie" Arizona offers her hand to shake. "I'm going to go and take a walk, you ok Cal?" Callie only nods her head and bites her lip. "Hey it's going to be fine, she isn't going to make you talk about anything you don't want to, she's here to help"
"That's right, we will go at your pace Callie, there's really nothing to worry about" Dr Warner offers with a kind smile.
Arizona leaves the room with a parting wave and Dr Warner motions to the recently vacated seat "Mind if I sit?" Callie just nods. She looks down to her hands and begins to wring her fingers as she feels the pressure in her chest start again.
"I notice your breathing a little erratically and your heart rate has increased, do you feel like you're having a panic attack right now?" Dr Warner asks after watching the broken woman for a few moments. Callie nods sadly.
Dr Warner talked her through the panic attack in a similar manner to how Bailey did and after around ten minutes Callie finally had her heart rate back to normal and her breathing more even.
"So tell me Callie, how are you feeling?" Dr Warner asks casually.
"I'm ok" Callie offers as she bites her lip.
"After everything you have been through, it would be ok for you not to be ok" Dr Warner offers.
"I don't really want to talk about it"
"That's ok, I doubt I would either. The reason I'm here is to help you though so we will take things at your own pace. Is there anything that is bothering you most at the moment?"
"I'm... worried he will come back, he always comes back" Callie bit her lip so hard she can taste the metallic blood.
"Well as of right now he is in custody and there is a restraining order in place forbidding him from coming near you. He has his picture posted around the hospital so staff know not to let him in, I don't think you need to worry too much about him showing his face. And from what I can tell you have your own personal security in Arizona"
"Yeah she's been great. I still can't believe she has forgiven me as easily as she has"
"That's because she knows that you haven't done anything wrong. You are the victim in this Callie"
"I feel like I let her down, even though I had no way of getting in touch with her I just... I could have told her that day we had the argument and I didn't, I could have put a stop to it when it first started and I didn't, maybe this is all my fault"
"None of this is your fault. May I ask what you argued about?"
"We argued because I got married without even telling her... and she, she saw bruises on me that I couldn't explain so I lied to her"
"Alot of people in your situation have lied about the bruises. Why didn't you tell her you were getting married?"
"It happened so fast... I was having doubts before the beatings started then they happened and everything just happened so fast. I didn't want to marry him but I was too scared to say no"
"That's understandable"
"Maybe"
"You weren't in control of the situation Callie, that's what you need to understand here. Could you have asked for help before Mr Thompson took away your forms of communication... yes, but you were scared and that's a perfectly natural reaction for you. You need to forgive yourself"
"How can I forgive myself when I allowed him to beat me senseless... to rape me" The word rape caught in her throat like a dirty word she was afraid to speak out loud.
"You didn't allow him to do those things, he took control and did them anyway, and it may take some work to forgive yourself but you will get there. You've already let Arizona in, that's a big step"
"It's hard not to let her in, she's very relenting" Callie mused.
"She seems like a good friend to have in your corner"
"She is, she's the best"
"Well I think we made some progress today, opening up is the first step. Admitting out loud what happened to you takes a lot of courage. You're a strong woman Callie, now how are you sleeping?"
"Not great, I have a lot of nightmares" Callie admitted sadly.
"That's not unnatural either with the trauma you have been through, I would advise that you are probably going through some post traumatic stress, it's a disorder that can be managed with therapy with myself, if you are comfortable enough to speak with me again?"
"Yeah... I mean it wasn't so bad"
"That's good. It's important that you begin to trust the people around you. I see in your notes that you have your parents visiting as well as Mr and Mrs Robbins. Have you spoken to any of them about what you endured?"
"No... I can't"
"Why do you feel like you can't"
"I don't think they could handle what I've been through"
"I think it would be hard for them to hear, but it's a necessary part of your recovery. I'd like for you to at least consider opening up to your parents, you don't need to go into specifics but talking to them about what you went through may help you. Are your parents supportive?"
"They were until I told them that I was marrying Earl... they didn't want me to marry him"
"Well, they obviously had their reasons, but other than that they have always been supportive?"
"Yes"
"And do they know about the pregnancy?"
"They overheard Arizona and I talking about it, but we haven't spoken about it"
"and how do you feel about it?"
"Conflicted"
"in what way?"
"I don't know whether I want to keep it, I'm... I'm terrified that it will be a constant reminder of him. Arizona says that I will probably fall in love with it as soon as I see it and that scares me too. What if I love it enough to not get rid of it but it still reminds me of him every time I look at it"
"Well there is the possibility that the baby will take traits from the father..."
"We call him the sperm donor"
"Very well. There is the possibility that the baby will take traits from the sperm donor, but you have Latina genes which are very dominant so the likelihood is that this baby is going to look more like you"
"What if it has his violent traits"
"Thats a possibility, but you will raise the baby in your own way. Normally violent people come from a specific type of upbringing. Your baby would be raised in a loving home"
"I guess"
"So you have decided to go through with the pregnancy?"
"Yes. I can't have an abortion. I was thinking I could maybe give it up for adoption"
"Well we have plenty of time to talk over your options. I would like for you to start thinking of it as a baby and not as an it"
"I can try"
"Ok well your friend is loitering in the hall so we will call it a day for now, I will come and see you again tomorrow. I can bring some reading materials with me about PTSD and about pregnancy. For now just keep doing what you're doing and be kind to yourself. Remember what I said about opening up to your parents too, it's something to consider"
"Ok I'll think about it. Thankyou Dr Warner"
"It's my pleasure Callie, take care"
Arizona entered as Dr Warner left, they offered a polite smile to each other before Arizona placed a fresh coffee down in front of Callie.
"Two sugars and cream, just how madam likes it... how did it go, am I allowed to ask?" Arizona asks nervously.
"ok actually. She gave me a lot to think about. She says I should open up to my parents"
"I think they would like that. Carlos and Lucia are a bit unsure of what to say to you at the moment"
"This is fucked up"
"What do you mean?"
"I should be doing my board exams and getting ready to be a surgeon. They should be talking to me about that not me telling them what my abusive husband did to me"
"If you still want to be a surgeon it can happen, remember you told me that Drew's will take you back where you left off and I can help"
"Maybe it's just a pipe dream"
"Maybe it's not, you just have to have a little faith"
-oOo-
Carlos and Lucia enter Callie's hospital room at their usual lunchtime arrival with a bunch of daisys. Callie can't help but smile at the sight which warms her parent's hearts.
"Hello Mija, how are you feeling today?" Carlos asks as he places a soft kiss to Callies crown, he smiles when she only flinches slightly. It's an improvement.
"I saw a psychologist, and Arizona has been keeping me entertained by helping her revise for her boards. Shes just ducked out to get a shower" Callie informs as she watches her mother vase up the flowers and place them besides her bed.
"a good day then?" Lucia asks.
"Yeah I guess. I think she's going to ace her boards. She was getting all of her questions right"
"And what about you Mija?" Carlos asks noticing that Callie keeps deflecting the answers to Arizona. Callie takes a deep breath, closing her eyes for a few moments before opening them . A tear rolls down her cheek.
"I'm pregnant" Callie stutters.
"How do you feel about that?" Lucia asks carefully, watching as Callie shrugs. Her heart rate monitor beeps as her heart rate increases so she takes some deep breaths like Dr Warner and Bailey showed her.
"I don't know if I can keep it... the baby" Callie practically whispers.
"Whatever you decide to do we will be right by your side, there is no wrong decision here... although a grandbaby to love would be amazing" Lucia smiles softly as she takes Callies hand in her own and squeezes it.
"Thanks mama" Callie squeezes back.
"Anytime Mija" Lucia softly replies.
"Dr Warner said I need to open up to you about what happened but I don't think I'm ready" Callie admitted as she worried against her lip.
"all in good time Mija, when your ready we are willing to listen" Carlos soothed.
"He hurt me" Callie sobbed.
"I know Mija but he can't hurt you anymore. I won't let him hurt my Mija" Carlos soothed.
"I'm so sorry"
"Hey now, you have nothing to apologise for. I'm just sorry we couldn't find you and get you out of there sooner"