It was Callie's first day at Drews and as she pulled into the parking space in her brand new black golf she heaved a heavy sigh as she looked at the building she had been forced to leave three years prior. The weekend had been uneventful after her shopping trip with her mother, the pair had gone on to buy a car as her father had requested and as much as Callie argued not buying one her mother had claimed that if she didn't pick one out herself her father would only go out and buy something flashy and expensive for her, and so Callie acquiesced and chose the practical little car she was currently sitting in.
Arizona had taken her out for a drive on the Sunday to get her reaccustomed with how to drive and to say she felt exhilarated to be behind the wheel again was an understatement. After a couple of hours of driving around endless streets getting Callie's confidence up, they had driven home with the radio blasting and Callie laughing at Arizona's singing.
Now was her biggest hurdle since being brought into hospital, one of many, but for her the biggest of all. She was sitting in Drews carpark, on her own, with no back up or support, preparing to go in and start her second year of med school with a hundred or so faces she had never seen before, and the thought absolutely terrified her. She felt the familiar tightness in her chest start and felt her breaths become laboured. She held her hands out in front of her, just above the steering wheel, and found them to be trembling.
She knew she had two choices here, she could turn back around and head home to the safety of her parent's house, or she could put on her big girl pants and at least try to make it inside the building. As she sat taking long deep over exaggerated breaths she decided on the latter. She was here anyway, she may as well at least try to head inside.
She glanced at the clock and found she had at least half an hour before her first lecture started and so with shaky hands she opened the car door and stepped out into the bright heat of Miami. She made her way to the café on campus, smiling to herself that she remembered where it was and how nice their beverages were. Having already had her coffee fix for the morning she ordered a decaf before pulling out a journal from her satchel and glancing at the first page where she had glued her schedule to.
She recognised the lecture room and headed in the direction she knew it to be, glancing at her watch she had about fifteen minutes to spare and the lecture hall was only a few minutes walk from the café. As she walked she felt a vibration in her pocket so grabbed her phone and smiled when she saw it was a message from Arizona who was working.
She quickly opened it and couldn't help but laugh at the picture of Arizona, Mark, Addison and Derek all beaming into the camera. 'just wanted to wish you a fantastic first day from your favourite doctors'
'thanks everyone, I appreciate it. I won't lie I'm on the verge of hightailing it home but little steps' Callie typed out with one hand, something she had become very good at from having a cast on one of her hands for weeks on end.
She slipped the small touchscreen back into her pocket and within a few moments found herself at the lecture room door. She took a big breath to centre herself and pushed the door open, happy to find only a half a dozen people had beaten her to the first lecture. With her head ducked to not make eye contact with anyone she made her way to the back of the class room and picked a seat on the back row in the corner where she hoped to be hidden from most people. As the minutes passed the lecture hall began to fill and by the time the lecturer, Mr Wall, had entered the room was at half capacity.
She was currently surrounded by approximately fifty people and the thought of that made her heart begin to hammer in her chest. She began to take some deep breaths as she busied herself getting her laptop ready and setting up a note book and pen beside it. It never hurt to be too prepared and the positive affirmations she had been taught by Dr Warner were failing her. She had been taught to focus on what positives she knew, focus on the people around her and how she knew they wouldn't hurt her but she didn't know any of these people, apart from the lecturer who she remembered to be boring and monotonous, she was surrounded by strangers.
Suddenly the room felt smaller than it was, the walls seemed to close in on her, the ceiling seeming to fall several foot whilst the floor rose. The tightness in her chest was back with a vengeance and she could feel herself begin to panic. Doing the only thing she could think to ground herself, she grabbed her mobile from her pocket and dialled Arizona's number. Not caring that anyone near to her would overhear their conversation and question her on it she mumbled a "I can't do this" into the phone the second Arizona answered, the poor blonde didn't even have chance to say hello.
"Calliope you've got this, just take a deep breath and tell me what's happening?" Arizona said worriedly into the small device, she motioned to Mark that she needed to take the call and ducked into a storage cupboard for some privacy from the hustle and bustle of the busy hospital.
"There's just so many people here and the room keeps getting smaller, I can't breathe"
"Ok listen to me, you are ok. If it gets too much you just get up and leave you're not trapped there. And as for all the people, they are probably really nervous too but you need to breath Cal"
"My chest is so tight" Callie whisper yelled into the small device, glancing around at the people close to her and noticing none of them were paying her any attention.
"Do you have your anxiety medication with you?" Arizona asked carefully, keeping her voice as calm as possible so to not spook the frightened women any further.
Callie nodded until she realised the blonde couldn't see her so she verbalised herself. "Yeah, it's in my bag... I don't leave home without it"
"Ok, what I want you to do is grab a bottle of water from your bag and take one of your tablets, now it's not going to kick in straight away so you're going to need to focus on your breathing and try to control it. We have got this, remember what Mark said all those weeks ago, sometimes all you need to do is breathe..."
Callie reached into her bag and grabbed the bottle of pills and a bottle of water and took one before closing her eyes and focusing on her breathing, zoning out all the people around her she took a deep breath in, counted to four and released it before repeating it a few times.
"How are you doing?" Arizona asked from the other end of the phone as she listened to the brunette breathing.
"It's working" Callie whispered back into the phone.
"Thats great Cal, just keep doing what you're doing, you have got this you are so strong and brave and I am so proud to call you my friend, just keep breathing ok?"
"Ok, I think I'm ok now, I feel a bit better. Thanks battleship" Callie smiled softly into the phone.
"No worries, you know where I am if you need me, just call or txt"
"Tell Mark I said thanks for letting you take my call"
"Pscht please Mark is under the thumb" Arizona joked, her smile growing as she heard the soft giggle from the other side of the phone, "How are you feeling now?"
"Much better" Callie admitted embarrassedly.
"Good, well I had better go before someone comes looking for me" Arizona offered and Callie could hear the sadness in her voice that the call was almost over and it brought a soft smile to her face.
"I will speak to you tonight?" Callie asked hopefully.
"Of course, try not to find a new best friend today to replace me with" The blonde joked.
"As if I could replace you, I will catch you later then"
"You sure will, love you Cal"
"Love you too"
Callie hung up the phone and glanced at the people around her, no one was watching her with interest or pity, no one was even paying attention to her and that made her feel better. She was feeling paranoid that people would have been listening in on her call and judging her by what they saw and heard, but it was almost as if she was invisible in amongst the crowd of people. She felt her confidence grow slightly and squared her shoulders, she could do this. She could get through this first lecture, and then the one after, and then the one after. She just needed to take small steps and focus on what she was doing at the time and not worry too much about what she couldn't control.
She knew it wouldn't be easy, but she knew she had it in her to do this. If she could live the life she had with Earl and come out the other side, getting through med school would be a piece of piss. She just had to focus her attention on what she was doing and not think too much about the future.
-oOo-
"Hey pretty lady" Arizona called out as she entered the back garden and found Callie sat in her usual chair typing away on a small laptop. Callie instantly stopped what she was doing and glanced to the owner of the voice before breaking out in a beaming smile.
"Hey you" Callie breathed out.
"You look pleased with yourself" Arizona noted as she perched on the chair next to the Latina and glanced at the laptop screen to see what had the brunette so invested, and smiled when she saw it was an essay she was typing up.
"I did it... I actually did a full day at school" Callie said as her smile grew and her eyes filled with pride for herself.
"I never doubted you wouldn't... how was it?" The blonde asked curiously.
"Boring. They haven't changed the lecturers so it's the same boring old drivel that it was last time, but they did set some assignments so I thought I would get a start on one" The brunette said with a sigh.
"Hey remember what we said, it's not the med school you go to that's going to make you a great doctor. You just have to suffer through the next few years then you can choose where to start your internship. You can go anywhere in the country with the grades you're going to get" Arizona took Callie's hand in her own and rubbed her thumb soothingly over the back of it.
"I don't want to go anywhere but Miami, its where you are. And Mami and Papa" Callie said almost sadly.
"I will follow you wherever you decide to go, I'm an awesome intern I'm sure I could get into any hospital I wanted with the grades I got and a glowing reference from the chief" Arizona smiled cockily which caused Callie to scoff "What its true. You're not stuck to Miami... we could go anywhere, New York... Seattle... Michigan"
Arizona couldn't contain the laughter as the brunettes nose turned up further at each suggestion.
"I'd rather stay here, here is finally starting to feel safe again" Callie admitted quietly.
"Thats because you are home with your family, you are safe with us" Arizona smiled tenderly. "Anyway I need you to close your eyes because I have a surprise for you" Arizona announced.
"Do I have to?" Callie asked nervously.
"Yes you have to. Come on I never ask you to do anything but I'm asking you this... please close your eyes. I promise you will like it" Arizona smiled confidently as the Latina fluttered her eyes closed nervously. Arizona stood from her chair and motioned someone to enter the garden.
"Ok you can open them" Arizona announced once their guest was in place.
Callie opened her eyes and her jaw dropped at the handsome young man stood before her with a dimpled smile on his face.
"Timothy!" Callie screeched as she placed her laptop on the ground and approached the older than she remembered man. He was slightly taller than she remembered him and his long curtained hair had been cut shorter into a more manly cut, but his eyes and his smile were exactly how she remembered them.
"Torro, it's so good to see you" Tim beamed as the woman approached him before stopping just out of arms reach. He held his hand out towards her calmly and she took it with trembling hands. "What's a guy gotta do to get a hug of such a beautiful woman" Tim asked carefully.
"Tim" Arizona warned softly, but was surprised when Callie took another step closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him close. Inhaling his unique smell mixed with a subtle aftershave, he felt safe and Callie basked in the safeness she felt in his arms. Maybe all men weren't like Earl, Tim certainly wasn't.
"I can't believe you're here Tim, how... when?" Callie asked into the embrace before she pulled back with tears in her eyes.
"A few hours ago while you were still at school, Az made me hide in the house all day so you wouldn't see me and ruin the surprise" Tim smirked at his sister who glared at him in return.
"I missed you so much" Callie admitted as she stepped back from him and took him in once again. Gone were the ripped jeans, converse shoes and band t-shirts he wore everywhere. Instead he was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans with a white shirt tucked in. A tan belt around his waist and a matching pair of loafers on his feet. He looked very dapper and grown up.
"I missed you too, truly. Arizona was a mess without you" Tim admitted to his best friend.
"Hey!" Arizona piped up but shook her head when her twin and best friend glanced at her like she had grown another head even trying to claim that she wasn't a mess when Callie had gone missing, "Fine, I was a mess" She admitted as she sidled up to the pair and threw an arm around both of their shoulders with a big smile.
"The three amigos are back together" Tim offered a dimpled smile that matched his sisters.
"We are still not calling ourselves that" Arizona laughed.
"Tell me Timmy, Tell me everything that happened while I was gone" Callie pleaded.
She led the siblings to the chairs, closed down her laptop lid and dumped herself in her usual seat and that's where she stayed for hours as the three of them caught up. Tim told her all about his adventures training to become a vetinerary surgeon and how he had met his girlfriend, Claire who was currently in the house with Barbara and Daniel awaiting for them to return. As the hours passed the sun began to fade and the three friends remained in their seats enjoying catching up and telling old stories from when they were kids.
Arizona basked in the sound of Callie's laughter as she watched her giggling along to one of Tim's stories, she looked so relaxed you wouldn't guess that she had been through all that she had, it was the first time Arizona had seen her best friend so relaxed since she had come crashing back into her life and Arizona loved it.