TONIGHT
ON THE ABC WEEKEND SPECIAL SATURDAY MORNING MOVIE:
"Posterity doesn't necessarily require genetic compatibility in order to be so." — The J.A.M.
STEVEN SPIELBERG PRESENTS / PRESENTA / APRESENTA / PRÉSENTENT...
THE RE-TELLING OF A CLASSIC IN A WAY YOU NEVER EXPECTED...
"Dee, it's over."
Over…over…over…over…over…over…
OHHHHHH FORTUNAAAAA......!!!
It wasn't the dust that had her completely riled, and it wasn't the rubble, or the hole on the wall, or even the emptiness of one of her most secure vaults.
VEEEEELUT LUNAAAA...!
She glanced out one window, noticing how the snow magnified the moonlight and-
STAAAAA--TU--VA--RI--A--BILIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS--!!!
"What do you want, Uncle? If it's money, there's none. I'm deep in debt right now."
...Semper crescis...
"The debt is finally paid in full!! You're finally out of the red!"
...Aut decrescis...
"But why would he? Was he approaching bankruptcy and needed hard cash immediately?
...Vita deteeeestaaaaabiliiiis...
"--and please--just take away all the love I still have for her--all of this is just--just--consuming me--"
...Nunc obdurat...
"Far from it! NOW is the perfect time to take advantage of all those idiots on a shopping frenzy!! NOW is the time to hike up prices, lower production, and cut warranty time...!"
...Et tunc curat...
Remorse.
Conviction.
Pain.
Pity.
Repentance?
...Ludo mentis aaacieeeem...
...she asked, as femininely as she could muster for her young age, complete with eye flutter.
...Egestatem...
A homeless grey dog was trying to warm himself next to a steel drum that had a very low fire inside.
...Potestatem...
"I'm not going to stand for this anymore, Tex. With or without you, I'm going to make changes around here! And I'm talking RADICAL CHANGES!!!"
...Dissolvit ut glaciiiiiieeeeem...
"Is it just me, or is the snow below them melting?"
...Sors immanis...
...pull out a rose out of nowhere, and lay it down in front of a very small headstone...
...Et inanis...
The lagomorph appeared to be speaking to an empty chair...
...Rota tu voluuubiliiiiis...
Several days later, the family climbed on their dark green pick up truck, and drove to the city.
...Status malus...
"...you're not a villain anymore; you've become a criminal..."
...Vana salus...
"Why don't they let evolution take its course and eliminate that freak before it's born, geez!!"
...Semper dissoluuuubiliiiiis...
...repeatedly dipping one of her hairs in a liquid to watch it dissolve...
...Obumbrata...
She spat, "Go to Hell."
...Et velata...
...white silk curtains filtered the moonlight coming in from the balcony doors to the right of the bed...
...Michi quoque niiiiiteriiiiiiis...
"You do the works of your father."
...and you will do the lusts of
your father. He was a murderer right from the start…"
...Nunc per ludum...
On and on they guessed, until a buzz from the stopwatch stopped them...
...Dorsum nudum...
...apparently showing off chest muscles she didn't know he had...
...Fero tu--i sceleeeeriiiiiis...
"My father hates charities, so I hate charities even
MORE!!! Isn't it enough that he has to cheat on taxes and employees'
salaries and welfare that you have to make me (gritting teeth) GIVE
in order to compensate...???"
SORS SALUTIS!!!
The J weakly raised his right fist in victory.
ET VIRTUTIS!!!
"...I want to make tons of money just as much as you do, but I will NOT do it if it means breaking the law and committing fraud!"
MICHI NUNC CONTRAAAARIAAAAAA!!!
She couldn't scream.
She couldn't cry.
She couldn't speak.
She couldn't think.
EST AFFECTUS!!!
He waved his revolver toward a building...It only took her a moment to deduce that he was telling her where to go. She turned--
ET DEFECTUS!!!
The darkness was oppressing her, filling her with fear she had never felt before.
SEMPER IN ANGAAAAAAARIAAAAAAAA!!!
...shackled all over the phantasm's back, arms, and legs, and shackled to the chains were huge bags of gold ingots, coins, and bills...
HAC IN HORA!!!
The clock struck TWO.
SINE MORA!!!
"We're wasting nightlight. Come on!!"
CORDUM PULSUM TAAAAANGITEEEEEEE!!!
He turned to the band as A.J. padded to the keyboard, and began playing..."Oi don't suppose you'd want to sing, would you? Maybe vent a little?"
QUAD PER SORTEM!!!
"I was expecting some complications due to your species difference, but I didn't expect them so soon."
STERNIT FORTEM!!!
WHAM!!!
The ghost looked at the floor, which now had a flattened teenager under
an ethereal mallet he had pulled out of nowhere.
MECUM OOOOOOOOOOOOOMNES PLAAAANGITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...!!!
Tex toppled and fell on the rubble... / ...his broken heart continued to pour tears... / The cry of someone lost, perchance, forever / ...she could see them all around, crying, wailing... / All her brothers and sisters, and parents, cried in mute agony. / ...his eyes were red once again, and he was weeping openly... /...his heart starting to fill with pain... / ...suddenly opened her eyes wide and put a paw on her abdomen. "Whoa!!" / Suddenly, he dragged his foot-paw along the carpet... / She ran for her life... /...a burst of smoke exploded through the floor... / SHOOF... / They fell off the balcony... / The sleigh was airborne! / He broke down in sobs now, and fell on the floor... / ...a double flying kick to the jaw... / ...she fell on her face... / ...And pull out a pistol. / BANGCRASH!!! / ...the ghost stumbled and fell with infernal clanking / he placed his last rose on the lonely grave...
...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE......!!!
CREE SUMMER FRANKS
"I AM MY FATHER'S DAUGHTER!!!!"
IS
...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE......!!!
SCROOGE & MARLEY
...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE......!!!
JACOB MARLEY
...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
JACOB MARLEY'S DAUGHTER
"This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening…"
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