Chapter Eleven

Harry woke suddenly from a bad dream. He'd been starting to have them after he returned to castle. Every time he woke up he was sure that Voldemort was trying to break into his mind once again, but then he would remember that the dark wizard was dead. However, these weren't the kind of visions Voldemort would send to him either, these were memories. There were memories of his time in Azkaban.

Harry was sitting up in bed panting slightly and had droplets of perspiration on his face, but feeling terribly cold at the same time, like when a Dementor would crawl up inside your mind and make you remember terrible things. Harry felt very alone and very afraid and he hated both of those feelings.

Suddenly the curtains to his four poster bed opened and Seamus was standing there with a concerned look on his face. "You alright mate?"

"Yeah," Harry said looking away. "Sorry I woke you."

Smiling Seamus sat down on Harry's bed and said, "You didn't, I was just coming back from the loo."

"Oh."

"Are you really okay, Harry?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you look like death warmed over," Seamus said as he gently stroked Harry cheek with his hand. Unconsciously Harry closed his eyes and leaned into his hand; craving the warmth it provided to push back the bad dreams of coldness and loneliness. "Well, I think I know what you need."

"What's that," Harry asked wearily looking up at him again.

Seamus didn't answer but pulled his shirt off and crawled into bed with Harry.

"Um, Seamus?"

Still not answering, Seamus simply wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him back down unto the bed into a sleeping position.

"Um, Seamus?"

Chuckling Seamus finally replied, "Don't worry Harry, I'm just going to hold you. The last time I did I noticed that you slept better. I don't mind."

Shaking his head, Harry replied, "And the last time you did I woke up with something poking me in the back."

"Okay," Seamus said huskily, "It's a win-win situation for everyone. Besides you might decide you like."

Sighing, Harry pushing his face into his pillow and quietly says, "I've been thinking about that."

"You have?"

"Yeah."

"Anything you want to tell me Harry?"

"Well, with the Weasleys trying to sell Ginny to me in marriage I started thinking about how I wouldn't be able to … you know, be with her like a husband should. It wouldn't be fair to her and I would never be able to have children. I always thought I'd have kids. Someone to teach to fly a broom like my dad never got the chance to."

"Harry you don't have to marry Ginny and I'm willing to bet that they are only betrothing her to you to get out of the fact they stole money from you," Seamus said sympathetically.

"Maybe," Harry said sadly. "I was thinking that since I probably won't be able to be a man like I always thought I would be, maybe I should just let you bugger me. That way at least someone could get something out of it, but then I can't help but think that it wouldn't be fair to you either. Like I was letting you down by not enjoying it."

"Stop it Harry. You don't know that you won't be able to function again properly because you haven't been to see Madam Pomfrey."

"Like I want her reporting everything to Dumbledore."

Laughing Seamus said, "Harry, I think you're turning into a girl. You need to sleep."

"I guess."

x-x-x-x-x

The next morning when everyone had cleaned up for the day, Seamus dragged Harry to the infirmary to see about his problem.

"Seamus, I told you I do not want to do this."

"Yes and I'm ignoring you."

"Damn horny Irishmen," Harry muttered under his breath as they entered Madam Pomfrey's domain.

"Gentlemen, is there something I can do for you," the nurse asked as soon as they entered.

"Yes, NO!" they said together.

"Yes," Seamus said giving Harry a look. "Harry here has a problem from being in Azkaban and I think he should be checked over to make sure about it."

"Well, I should think from all the stories I've heard since your return to the castle, you should have been by to see me long before now," the nurse said waspishly.

Okay, let's review, Harry doesn't want to be here and she just snapped at him for it. This is now the time for everyone to get out of their seats, put down the drinks and unbutton their pants and sit on the floor.

Very irritated Harry looked at her and said, "Well, it's not like you came to check up on me when I was out getting the first bit of exercise I had in over one year, three months, two weeks, four days, seven hours, thirteen minutes and twenty six seconds. I was so exhausted from just riding my broom; I almost fell off of it. It's not like you came to check up on me when I returned to the castle if you were so bleeding concerned about my damned health. I was and still am malnourished and have said so repeatedly. Do you honestly think dirty water and cold gruel is a proper diet for a growing teenager? Or were you so wrapped up in Dumbledore's half arse plan to force me to forgive everyone for betraying me and putting there to begin with that you forgot to do your sodding job?"

"MISTER POTTER!" snapped the school nurse. "I have never done anything to you but mend you every time you went out on some damned fool crusade to be a hero. If you never came to see me, then it's not my responsibility to force you to."

"STOP IT!" bellowed Seamus. "Get back to your kennels bitches!"

Madam Pomfrey looked shocked by the Irish students outburst and Harry just looked like Harry when he's on a 'must punish my enemies' high.

"Now he IS IN your infirmary now, granted I had to drag him here, but Harry is here none the less and is in need of some healing, which IS your job as he pointed out," Seamus said like a mothering hen to her chicks. Turning to Harry he continued, "Now you are going to sit down on one of those beds and let her check her over," then turning to the elderly witch said, "and you are going to check him and not go running off to tell the Headmaster anything or I am going to write to the Board of Governors and tell them you let Harry lay up in Gryffindor Tower all weekend weaker than a new born Kneazle after facing a whole colony of Banshees and did nothing about it when the whole school was talking about it."

Harry looked impressed while the school nurse looked shocked.

"Very well then Potter lets get this over with."

Harry let himself be pushed towards the bed as Seamus mouthed, 'Your welcome.'

x-x-x-x-x

Sometime later Harry was sitting at the Gryffindor table picking at his breakfast.

"Come on Harry, it isn't that bad," Seamus said consolingly.

"You didn't have to drink that potion nor do you have to go see Snape about brewing some more."

Neville, Dean, Ginny and Luna, who was sitting with them this morning, all looked confused.

"What are you talking about?" Neville asked.

"Seamus forced me to go see Madam Pomfrey this morning and I had to drink five very foul tasting nutrition potions because I seem to be malnourished," Harry said with distaste.

"Well," Luna said, "Anyone can see that you need fattening up. Unless, of course, you are trying to look like a Liveratel Hangeron walking corpse."

"A what?" everyone asked.

Shaking her head, Ginny said, "Never mind that, what happened in the infirmary?"

"Nothing," Harry muttered.

"She said Harry had to start taking daily nutrition potions and had to ask Professor Snape to brew them especially for him so that they would be the best matched to his nutrition needs."

"I really hate you right now," Harry muttered darkly.

Seamus ignored him and continued, "Anyway, after she pronounced her commandment and Harry whined about it, she got him to promise to talk to Snape about it."

"You know that conversation we had this morning?" Harry asked. "Well, I changed my mind, you can't have any."

Seamus laughed and everyone looked confused.

"Does anyone understand this conversation?" Dean asked.

"Bits and pieces of it."

However, before anyone could continue talking about Harry or a Liveratel Hangeron walking corpse the Great Hall was beginning to fill with the sounds of hundreds of owls making their morning deliveries and once again Harry seemed to be receiving more than his fair share of letters.

"Not again," Harry frowned. "Eppy! Dobby!"

Two house elves popped in and took a look around them.

"Oh, Master Harry why is you's always getting all this mail?"

"I don't know, but let's start opening them and beware of boobertoober puss," Harry said as he began opening letters along with everyone the elves and his friends.

A few minutes passed and repeated ripping open of envelopes.

"OH MASTER HARRY! LOOK! LOOK!" Eppy cried out as she handed Harry a package.

Harry took the package and began looking through it. Then a tight knot formed in his chest and he found himself unable to speak. Harry was flipping through a package full of pictures of his parents. Some were from the wedding; some were from when they were students at Hogwarts and others were some that Harry himself had never seen before, his very first birthday party.

"You see Master Harry there is still some good witches and wizards in the world still," Eppy said. "This is being good, because that is meaning that all the bad ones are here for me to punish for you."

Harry smiled and continued to look at the photographs.

x-x-x-x-x

Harry and the other three Gryffindor boys walked into the Charms classroom a short time later. There waiting on them was Eppy wearing her little pink dress with the little yellow flowers embroidered on the hem.

"Eppy?" asked Harry. "What are you doing here?"

"I's is thinking I's is needing to be educated, Master Harry," the elf replied as she plunged her hand up under her skirt and began fishing for something.

"Eppy," Harry said as he looked around knowing that the other students would find this action to be dirty, "What are you doing?"

"I's is looking for my special notebook," she replied and then pulled out her Hello Kitty diary and a self inking quill. "Ah there it is being."

"Well, let's sit down before class starts okay."

"Okay Master Harry," she replied as Professor Flitwick walked into the room and spotted something lying on the floor near Harry.

"Mister Potter," the tiny teacher asked cheerfully, "Is this magazine yours?"

Harry looked at it and was confused as he looked at the cover of the catalog. 'Personal Neck Massagers?' Harry thought, 'Where did this come from?'

"Oh, that is being mine it is," Eppy said as she took it from Harry.

Professor Flitwick giggled and went to the front of the classroom.

"Eppy? Why do you have that catalog?"

"Oh, no reason Master Harry," Eppy replied as she quickly stuffed the catalog in her skirt.

Harry heard Seamus snicker and looked to his dorm mate. Seamus looked Harry in the eye and made a buzzing sound and rubbed his … well I think many of you can guess where this is going. You know, down there. Wink, wink!

Harry immediately looked to Eppy who was blushing.

Sudden realization hit Harry and he quickly squeezed his eyes shut and stuck his fingers in his ears and began chanting, "La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la!"

x-x-x-x-x

On his way into the Great Hall for lunch, Harry is stopped by someone he would rather kiss the yellowing teeth of Severus Snape than talk to.

"Harry, can I talk to you for a moment?"

Sighing Harry says, "Very well, what do you want?"

Wringing his hands slightly, Remus Lupin looks nervous and begins to speak. "Harry, I've been putting a lot of thought into our situation and I feel it would be best, with your consent of course, that I become your new godfather."

Harry just stared at him. 'Was he serious?' Harry thought. Then he realized something very important, he was serious, but he wasn't Sirius.

Finally, after an impregnated pause, Harry simply says, "No."

Looking defeated Lupin tries again. "Harry, I know that you are still angry with me for the way things happened between us during your trial, but there was nothing I could do to help you."

"So instead you belittle me and took away the only support I had during that dark time? How very brave of you. Where was that fierce werewolf instinct to protect members of his pack? To protect his cub? Isn't that what you used to call me, your cub? You've not called me that once since I've returned from hell."

"Albus said it would be best for me not to."

Harry smirked, "Well that's the first thing he's said about me this year that he got right."

Professor Lupin smiled thinking that Harry's humorous remark might allow him to allow the werewolf back into his heart. Okay, does anyone reading this think he's right? Hello? Do I need to send Eppy to your house to remind you not to make assumptions? She'll do it you know.

"No Lupin, you do not get to be my new godfather!" Harry said loudly. "You are not strong enough for the task even if I still had any respect for you, which I do not. My father, MY FATHER, chose Sirius to look out for me, NOT YOU! He choose Sirius because he is a strong man, a brave man, a man who was a leader and a man who could have shown me the way to be a good man myself. You are simply not up to it."

"But Harry," Professor Lupin said sadly, "I can try. I know I can do a good job."

Sighing Harry took a good long look at the werewolf and said, "Why is it in all of fandom that I and Dzeytoun are the only two people to see that you are not strong enough for it?"

Turning Harry walked away from his former friend, leaving him crying in the corridor of the drafty castle.

x-x-x-x-x

As Harry sat his lunch, he progressively became angrier and angrier. Luckily no one attempted to engage him in conversation and afterward Harry made his way up to his Muggle Studies meeting with Professor Langtree.

"Professor?" asked Harry a little irritated.

"I'm here Potter, don't have that elf of your come after me," Professor Langtree replied with a smile.

Against his will, Harry smiled also.

"Well, I see you're not going to loose your sense of humor after all. We were discussing it in yesterday's staff meeting," the Muggle Studies teacher said in confidence.

"Of all the things to discuss in staff meeting, that was the hot topic?"

Chuckling, the American teacher said, "Well, it has been decided that if you can laugh then perhaps you can find it in your heart to forgive the staff."

Harry rolled his eyes.

"I, however, don't think you should forgive them."

"You don't?" Harry asked, shocked by her off-handed remark.

"No, I do not. After spending all that time in one of the worst places on Earth, they think you're just going to bounce back and forgive them as if nothing had happened. I agree with you, they don't deserve it."

"Is this a trick?"

Laughing Amanda Langtree said, "No, I truly mean it. I am also going to tender my resignation when the school year ends. I am just waiting to hear back from an American school I applied to for a teaching post."

"Because of me?" asked Harry. "You shouldn't be out of a job because of me."

"It's not all because of you Harry, lets just say that this is the final straw that broke the camels back."

"Oh, okay."

So for the remainder of their time together, Harry and his teacher began to talk about living and surviving in the Muggle world.

x-x-x-x-x

After dinner that night, Harry stood at the top of the stair that led down into the school's dungeons and to Professor Severus Snape's office. He had been forced to promise to talk to the greasy git about the nutrition potions he needed, but really did not want to do it.

However, he suddenly felt someone standing behind him. Turning he found Eppy looking at him sympathetically.

"Is you's being okay Master Harry?"

"Yeah."

Eppy didn't look convinced. "You's is knowing that you's is needing that potion so you can be big and strong again."

"I know."

"Is you's not wanting to be big and strong Master Harry?"

"That's not it. I just don't want him to know about it."

"Eppy is understanding Master Harry, but you's forgetting one very important thing."

"What's that?"

"Wizards is being very embarrassed about talking about body parts," the elf said and in a whisper continued, "especially the naughty bits."

Harry laughed and started down to the potions classroom.

x-x-x-x-x

A few minutes later Harry found himself knocking on Snape's office door.

"Enter," a voice said from inside and opening the door, Harry found the potions master marking a stack of essays with his red ink.

"What do you want Potter?"

"Madam Pomfrey sent me down to talk to you about brewing a nutrition potion for me."

"Is she out of them in the infirmary?" Snape said in a cool and oily voice.

"No, she gave me phials to drink, but said I would need you to brew one specific to my needs, a general one wouldn't be enough after eating nothing but cold gruel and dirty water for one year, three months, two weeks, four days, seven hours, thirteen minutes and twenty six seconds."

"Yes, I suppose you do. There wouldn't be another reason you need me to brew a specific potion would there Potter?"

Sighing and not really wanting to talk about it, Harry remembered Eppy's advice and said, "Yes, you greasy git, I need that potion because I can't get it up any more."

Snape actually flinched. Looks like Eppy was right about that.

"That is hardly my problem Potter. This is something for the school nurse to deal with."

"What am I suppose to do then? Just sit around in the hospital wing and feel sorry for myself and carve words in my arm? Is that what you want of me? Well, I DO NOT want to do that! It's just so Finbar isn't it?"

"Finbar?" muttered a confused Snape.

"Never mind," muttered Harry back, but continued in a stronger voice, "Well apparently she didn't want to deal with it and sent me to see you."

However, before either of them could say anything else, Eppy popped into the room.

"Greasy Professor Snape is listening to Eppy he is! You's is going to help my Master Harry or else you's is going to very sorry."

"What are you going to do to me?" Snape asked maliciously. "Hang me up naked and spank me like you did to Mister Malfoy and his friends? You never know, I might enjoy something like that."

"I's is knowing that you's would, I've been sneaking through you's private quarters during class times," Eppy replied sweetly. "You's is needing to be more careful with you's locking charms."

Snape paled if that were possible for someone who's skin was already deathly white.

The elf continued, "Now Master Harry is needing that potion and Master Harry is owning the Daily Prophet and you's is having things that you's is not wanting the public to be knowing from me. So I's is thinking you's is being nice to Master Harry."

Harry stood there with wide eyes. He had no idea what the hell was going on, but he was going to remember it for a long time.

Snape looked at both of them darkly and muttered, "Very well."

To Be Continued … Please Read and Review

Author's Note: Harry is Eppy first and only master. In fact she very young and Harry is allowing her to develop her own personality. No matter where that might lead…heaven help us all!

Dzeytoun wrote a story called Here Be Monsters I: Wizards Lament, which is the first of a trilogy of stories. However, I haven't read the two sequels yet. I just found them this week. ;) This story is told from Dumbledore's point of view, which is not something you find very often. It made me cry at certain parts of it.

Finbar wrote a story called Never Trust, which has become my most favorite Harry in Azkaban story, even though it's a one shot story. I highly recommend it. If you can't find it, then click on my name above and go to my favorite authors' page and find Finbar and read that story. You'll like it even though it's a sad one.