Chapter Fourteen

Thursday morning Harry finds himself snug and warm in his bed and peacefully asleep. In his sleep Harry inhales a wondrous scent and wraps his arms around the warm body in bed with him and snuggles in even deeper. This is the best he has felt in… well ever.

"Harry."

Harry moans gently and stays asleep rubbing up against the body in his bed.

"Harry."

Again Harry stays asleep. However, he is quickly jarred awake by an elbow in his ribs.

"Harry, wake up, you're poking me."

"Huh?" Harry asks sleepily, rubbing his now sore ribs.

"I said, 'wake up, you're poking me'."

"Ginny?" Harry asked in a confused voice. "What are you doing here?"

"It was my turn and after you went to sleep, I crawled into bed with you," Ginny explained. "Now if you don't mind, would you please shift your hips, you're leaving a dent in my hip."

"What?"

Before Harry could ask anything else, Ginny whips the covers back letting him get a good look at his lounge pants and the incredibly huge tenting going on inside of them.

"That's what I'm talking about," she explained with a smirk.

'Oh my gods,' thought Harry frantically. Then jumping out of his four poster bed, Harry exclaimed, "IT IS ALIVE!"

This, of course, wakes the other boys in the dormitory room.

"What's wrong mate?" asked Dean poking his head out of his hangings.

"Yeah, what's wrong Harry," Seamus said in a very sleepy Irish accent. "It's past four in the morning."

"There's nothing wrong guys, everything is right again. I am a MAN!" exclaimed a very excited Harry Potter. After all this was his first stiffy in over one year, three months, two weeks, four days, seven hours, thirteen minutes and twenty six seconds. I mean come on, what boy wouldn't be excited by that? Hell, I know some grown men who take Muggle medicine (Viagra) and pray for such a thing to happen to them. My father, ooops, did I say that? Never mind.

Seamus finally got a look as Harry swung around to face him as to what he was talking about. With wide eyes the Irishman said, "Merlin! It's even bigger like that."

Harry blushed as the boys laughed.

"Well, if this is what goes on in the boy's dormitory, then I'm going back to my own bed," Ginny said in a mock huff and got out of Harry's bed.

"I'm sorry Ginny."

"It's okay Harry, but I am sleepy and don't really want a matched set of dents," she replied with a smile and left the room with Harry blushing like mad.

x-x-x-x-x

Later that morning, after the boys had risen (as it were) and showered, they made their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast. The boys entered the hall a few moments before the morning post owls entered from above. In fact there seemed to be a large number of them this morning.

"Hey," Neville said the tawny owl that stood in front of him with a copy of the Daily Prophet. "I don't take the paper."

"Just take it Neville," Harry said as he took his copy of the paper. "Everyone in the school is getting free copies this morning."

"Why?" the three boys asked together.

Smirking Harry replied, "Read it and find out."

Immediately the boys opened their papers and began to read. However, before Harry could do so, Professor Snape came up with a goblet full of potion.

"Potter."

"Snape."

Scowling the potions master continued, "Here is your nutrition potion. I see that you have grown since you started taking it yesterday."

Smiling Harry said, "Yes, I have sir. All over."

"Yes," Snape relied dryly. "You must be thrilled with the outcome."

Seamus, Dean and Neville had their hands over their mouths trying to not laugh. They all three knew what Harry was going to say. However, Harry didn't get to say it.

"Oh yes, Professor Snapey-Poo," Eppy said as she popped in. "My wonderful Master Harry is getting big all over. He is outgrowing his clothes and his penis is being enor… enor… really big it is."

Scowling Snape departed towards the staff table leaving the four Gryffindors laughing behind him.

"Eppy you are priceless," Harry said beaming at the little elf. Then sighing, Harry took a deep breath and began to drink his potion.

"I wonder how much bigger you'll be by lunch time today," Seamus asked in his husky and sexy Irish accent.

Harry did his best to not spit out his potion. When he finally got it swallowed, he said sarcastically, "Thanks Seamus, I really needed that. Yet another Darkmoore moment to have to live through."

Seamus laughed and returned to the morning Prophet, not bothering to ask you Darkmoore was again.

"Harry," Dean said as he read. "Do you know what's in the paper this morning?"

"Kind of," Harry replied mysteriously as he glanced up to the staff table to see how Dumbledore was taking the morning editorial. Smirking Harry opened the paper and read.

DUMBLEDORE COVERING UP HOGWARTS STAFF MURDERS

By Rita Skeeter

Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, has apparently blamed the murders of teachers Rubeus Hagrid, Care of Magical Creatures and Sybil Trelawney, Divination on the Boy-Who-Lived, Harry Potter, which ended up with him being sent to the wizarding prison Azkaban. However, after Harry Potter was found innocent of these crimes, the investigation to uncover the true murderers has yet to be undertaken by the headmaster.

The members of the wizarding society are demanding answers from the headmaster, as he seems to be completely unconcerned that two members of his staff were murdered right under his nose and that an innocent student was blamed for said murders.

For furthers details, turn to page two.

Harry smirked and put the paper down.

"Master Harry?"

"I'm sorry Eppy, I didn't mean to ignore you."

"That is being okay, Master Harry," Eppy replied innocently. "However, I's is having a bone to pick with you and it is not being the one that poofy Irish boy want to pick."

"Good," Seamus muttered, "I don't need the competition."

Smiling Harry asked, "And what would that be Eppy?"

"Eppy is recently meeting another house elf who is saying he is being your elf. I's was thinking that you's is not having any other elf but Eppy," she said with a pout.

"Well," Harry began wondering what in the hell she was talking about. "You know that Dobby is not really my elf, he is free and is my friend."

"Eppy is thinking that Dobby would be wonderful as you's house elf. But I's is not talking about him."

Harry looked at her confusedly. "What are you on about?"

"I's is talking about this," Eppy said and then snapped her fingers. With a loud crack two house elves popped into the Great Hall. One of the elves was dressed in a shrunken maroon jumper and several wooly hats while the other had only a dirty rag wrapped around its middle like a loin cloth.

"Dobby is telling you again you's is not saying bad things about Harry Potter!"

"Keacher is saying what Keacher wants about Master, the dirty Mudblood loving blood traitor that he is."

"Oh," Harry moaned and let his face fall into his hands. He had completely forgotten about Kreacher. He had only inherited him shortly before he started his sixth year at Hogwarts.

"Yes, Master Harry, 'Oh' is being right," Eppy said sternly as Dobby sunk his fist into the older elf's stomach. Apparently she did NOT like sharing her Master Harry with anyone, especially this dirty old mean spirited house elf. Then turning to the other two she screamed, "OH YOU'S IS STOPPING IT NOW!"

"Kreacher does not have to obey little snippet of an elf who loves blood traitors," the older elf said. "Oh what my mistress would say if she knew the horrors that Kreacher had to live thro…"

However, he never finished his sentence as Dobby belted him across his mouth with his tiny fist.

"You's is not talking about Eppy that way," Dobby announced triumphantly, which caused Harry to smile. It seemed to him that Eppy had a protector now.

"Dobby," Eppy said sternly again, "I's is not telling you again. The best way to deal with is like this." Then she lifted his little pink skirt with the little yellow flowers embroidered on the hem to reveal that she was wearing steel toed Muggle military combat boots. Eppy then swung back on of her little legs and then nailed Kreacher in his… well lets just say he'll have some trouble not making a puddle in his loin cloth for a while.

"Ooof!" the boys said together as Kreacher fell over onto the marble floor of the Great Hall.

Then Eppy turned on her master and began tapping a military combat covered foot on the floor. "Is this … elf," Eppy said with distaste, "really belonging to you?"

Sighing Harry looked at her and told her the truth. "Yes, I'm afraid it is Eppy. I'm sorry, I completely forgot about him. I had hoped that I would never see him again."

Dobby and Eppy looked at each other and together said, "We's is agreeing with that."

To Be Continued … Please Read and Review

For those of you that I confused, Eppy conjured the goat skins to embarrass Ron with. They weren't really in his trunk; she just made that part up.

Once again Darkmoore wrote a story, which he should finish (hint, hint, hint) called Harry Potter & the Veela That Wouldn't Go Away, in which his enormous penis is talked about. That's where I got the idea, but he's okay with it.

I know that I am probably the slowest reader in the history of the world, as some people tell me that they managed to read HBP in five hours or less. I wish I had that kind of free time. It took me a couple of days to get it done. I am NOT incorporating much into this story, in fact next to nothing. The only thing would come close is the Kreacher scene above and that's only because I had thought of it before, but it got deleted with my computer crash and I completely forgot about it until I read HBP.