I had FUN writing the beginning of this one!

The chapter title is a reference to a Borderlands 2 quote.

Only one more warning chapter. Smooth sailing from hereon in.


Aya walked down the hall of homunculi once more. Near one of the bizarre figures, she spotted another strange gem. Collecting them was mainly habit by now, a precautionary measure.

She entered the doorway to the next room. It was wide, and full of wooden mortuary slabs with bloodied linen blankets covering bodies. The nearest table on the right had a severed head placed on it, who's eyes appeared to be moving. The head itself was pale with spiky blue hair.

Aya didn't even hesitate as she walked over to the head. She could already tell it was going to be some kind of spirit with a last request or something. Best to get it over with.

"WH-ERE IS BO-DY…" The head spoke.

Knew it.

Aya inspected the other tables. There was no way she was going to carry a severed head around for God knows how long before she actually found the body. She already had a bottle of eyes. She may be brave, but she had her limits.

On one table on the left, the linen blanket had an odd lump, as though the body was sitting up underneath it. Aya pulled the sheet to reveal… nothing. Aya sighed, and headed off to the next room. The body clearly wasn't here, the others already had heads.

Oddly enough, the door to the next room was wooden. It was an odd choice given that the past few were metal. Aya opened the door, pondering the oddity.

Her thoughts were soon interrupted by a large, pale, headless corpse with no clothing whatsoever appeared in the doorway. She jumped back, startled, and ran to the front of the room. The corpse wandered aimlessly around the room, bumping into things as it went. Honestly, Aya thought it was kind of funny. Okay, it was really funny. Aya burst out laughing at the sheer strangeness of the situation. Vengeful tortured spirit or no, a headless corpse walking buck naked around an operating theater and bumping into things was the opposite of intimidating.

Eventually, Aya realized that the corpse bore an uncanny resemblance to the severed head in skin tone. Well, that was easy. She thought as she watched the corpse finally find its head.

"FO-OUND IT" the spirit said, casually as he popped it on -sideways for some reason- and turned to her.

Aya lost it at that. She began howling with laughter. She wasn't sure if she was tired, or if the situation was finally getting to her, or what. For some reason, this was her breaking point. She doubled over and put her hands on her legs for support. She could barely pause for breath, and momentarily, she felt as though she may die from laughter. The thought of dying such an absurd death after all that had happened only made her laugh even harder. Tears rolled down her face like the Biblical flood as she fought tooth and nail for the sweet, life-giving air her lungs so desperately craved.

"THANKS… MISSUS…" Aya heard as she finally calmed herself. She looked up at the now complete man, who had waited patiently for her to get it together.

Aya responded between giggles. "I- I'm s-sor- I'm sorry, uh, you're welcome. Sorry."

The man didn't respond. He simply handed her a gem, where he got it was unknown, it simply appeared in his hand, then laid back down on his slab.

Aya pocketed the gem and headed onward through the doorway, vowing to never speak of this again.

Aya entered the next room, which appeared to be some sort of dungeon, complete with medieval stone-brick construction. Infront of her was a portcullis flanked by two metal torches. The portcullis led to a cell where a lone girl stood, weeping.

The girl had long blonde hair that was done in twin braids that hung on opposite sides of her head. She was dressed in a decidedly anachronistic Japanese sailor fuku uniform that had yet to be invented. Aya didn't know what to make of the girl, except that she reminded her of a young Maria in some ways. The hair and face mostly.

Aya looked closer and noticed that she had no eyes, and was crying tears of blood. The girl spoke as she wept. "CAN'T SEE… CAN'T SEE… CAN'T SEE ANYTHING… THAT MAN TOOK AWAY MY EYES!"

The voice sounded familiar to Aya. Fortunately, she knew where she'd heard this one. "Excuse me?"

The girl turned towards the sound. "H…hello? Is someone there?"

"Y-yes, it's me, Aya. From the fireplace." That felt odd to say.

"Oh! I remember you; you were with those soldiers!"

"Yes, that's right!"

"Are they here? Did… did you find my eyes?"

"I'm alone right now, but I think I found your eyes!"

"Oh! Oh, thank God! Finally! I… I don't know how long it's been since I could see. It… it still hurts really bad. C-can I please have them?"

Aya was about to answer, but paused. How as she going to get them to her?

The fireplace!

"Yes, I can't get to where you are right now, but I think I know how to get them to you. Just please hold on for a little while longer!"

"Oh… Okay." The girl sounded disappointed, but still hopeful.

I just need to put out that fire.


Did you know that the Eyeless Girl, Maria, and Viola from The Witch's House were all based on the same sprite?