Thursday, 10 February 1977
Considering Remus had a magical map that could track anyone on the Hogwarts grounds, Lena was doing a rather good job at avoiding him. She barely spent any time out of her room unless she had to. If she saw Remus in the corridors between classes, she would quickly make up an excuse to leave or pretend someone was waving her over.
She wasn't angry with Remus. She never was. But she was confused about what the pen meant and how she felt. And Lena was too nervous to speak to him while she was confused and stressed. She could easily see herself blurting out all of her feelings to him and freak him out with her rambling. And she knew Remus would be nice about it and let her down easily. He was always nice. But Lena was prepared to get her feelings hurt quite yet. And until she knew she could act like a somewhat normal person around Remus, she knew could not be around him.
And even though she knew it was best to not be around him while she worked out her feelings, she missed him. She missed him more than she would care to admit, mainly because she doubted that Remus missed her as much as she missed him. Even though the pen was the source of her confusion, it was a source of comfort. She liked using it to hear his voice. She felt a bit silly that his voice could ease her so much, even if he was related to the cause of her confusion.
Remus was alway impressed by Lena, even when she was avoiding him. Ever since they had spoken to each other on Monday and he had given her the pen, Lena had been avoiding him, which was rather impressive considering he was in possession of Marauder's Map.
Maybe the pen and its purpose offended her. Remus knew that she didn't need it to read. She could read, it just took her longer than others to do. The pen was meant to help her when she didn't have much time. It was a way for a part of him to be there for her even when he wasn't with her physically. I probably explained it so poorly that she thinks that I think she can't read.
Remus knew how self-conscious Lena felt about her dyslexia and how she hated the misconceived notions and ideas people had about people with dyslexia— that they were less intelligent than those without it and that to have dyslexia was to have a disease.
Remus knew how she felt. I know what it's like to be self-conscious about something I can't change about myself. I know what it's like to be someone affected by widely accepted misconceived notions. Though, mine aren't all misconceived.
Remus hated the idea that he could be the one to offend Lena and cause her pain.
Remus missed being around her too. He missed her soothing presence. He missed her laugh and how she made him laugh. He missed hearing about her thoughts. He just missed her.
His friends could tell he was upset about not seeing her. He wasn't as happy as usual and he was distracted. He had told James and Sirius what was wrong, that Lena was avoiding him. Peter was worried about him too but Remus knew he couldn't tell him what was actually bothering him. As good of a friend as Peter was, Remus knew Peter would not be thrilled that Remus fancied his sister.
Saturday, 12 February 1977
Remus groaned as he opened his eyes. "What time is it?"
"Good morning, sleeping beauty," Sirius teased. "It's eleven in the morning."
Remus sighed and opened the drawer to his nightstand. He pulled out a bar of chocolate and began to nibble on it. Moping about Lena and eating chocolate in bed seemed like a good way to spend his Saturday.
"Moony, stop eating chocolate. It's not even the afternoon."
"Chocolate is always acceptable no matter what time it is."
Sirius shook his head and laughed.
"Where is everyone anyways?" Remus asked.
"I think Frank's studying in the library, James went to breakfast a while ago so he's probably on his way back soon, and Peter's with Lena."
"Oh," Remus said, sounding a bit like a kicked puppy at the mention of Lena.
"Look, I'm sure whatever's going on with Lena will pass soon and things will go back to normal."
Remus sighed. "I just don't know what I did wrong. And I miss her."
Lena could see her brother's face through the gaps in the house of cards that they were building on the floor of her dorm room. Peter was currently constructing a tower and Lena was adding another level to their card fortress.
"So what's been going on with you?"
"What do you mean?" Lena asked, furrowing her brow.
"You just seem off, I guess. Not as happy as you usually are."
Lena sighed. "I am. It'll pass soon. I'm just trying to work it out in my head."
"Anything I can help with?"
"No," Lena said blushing.
"C'mon, you can trust me," Peter said. He wasn't forceful, though. He was kind and understanding.
Lena rested her head on her brother's shoulder. "I know. I just feel a bit silly talking about it aloud."
"You shouldn't. And you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just want to be happy and comfortable."
"I love you."
"I love you too, Lee."
Lena smiled across at her brother.
She let out a deep breath, knocking down their house of cards.
"Really, Lena?!"
"I'm sorry! I couldn't help it!"
"Quit hogging all the toffee apple ones," Mary said.
"But they're my favorite," Dorcas said as she munched on the flavored beans.
Mary's legs were dangling over the arm of the couch as she rested her head in Alice's lap. Dorcas sat next to Alice on the couch. Lily and Marlene were sitting next to them in a love seat.
Alice grabbed a handful of flavored beans from the box Dorcas was holding. Alice popped one into her mouth and gagged. "Tripe," she explained.
Mary looked at her sympathetically. "It could've been worse."
Alice nodded, a look of disgust still on her face.
"So what's wrong with James?" Dorcas asked, examining a bean before tossing it back into the box.
"What do you mean?" Mary asked.
"Well, James has been sitting across from us in the common room for about twenty minutes and he hasn't tried to ask Lily out," Dorcas observed.
"How'd you get him to stop?" Mary asked, turning to Lily. "Did you break his spirit or something?"
Lily frowned. James Potter was a lot of things. He was a toe-rag, a bully, and a nuisance. But he was not a quitter. He had more determination than anyone Lily knew. And as much as Lily would have liked for James to give up on dating her, she didn't think that was why he had approached her.
She was not alone in her thoughts
"I don't think that's it," Alice said, her kind eyes shining. "He looks so sad and a bit stressed as well."
Marlene bit her lip and rose from her chair. "I think you're right, Liss. I'm gonna go check on him."
"I'll come with you," Lily sighed. Even though she didn't like Potter, she didn't like to see him, or anyone really, hurting.
Marlene and Lily stode over to him and sat on either side of him. He didn't notice them at first. He was lost in his thoughts about Remus. He knew better than anyone how much it hurt when someone you fancy avoids you.
Marlene tore James away from his thoughts. "You alright, Jay?"
James ruffled his hair and took off his glasses, covering his eyes with one of his hands.
"No," he rambled. "Remus is down in the dumps and Sirius and I are lying to Peter about what we think is wrong with Remus because Remus told us that Lena, Peter's sister, is the reason why he's upset. And I feel so guilty not telling Peter because I feel like I'm betraying him. And I want to tell him what's happening. But if I tell him what, I would be betraying Remus' trust… Which I just did now by telling you what's wrong with me."
James moaned.
Lily put a comforting hand on James' shoulder. She often forgot, or perhaps didn't notice, how loyal and concerned he was for his friends.
"You haven't betrayed Remus or Peter, James," Lily said gently.
James sighed and put his glasses back on.
Thinking, Marlene stuck her tongue to one side of her mouth. "Wait, Remus is upset about Lena?"
James turned to her. "Yeah. She's been avoiding him apparently."
"Well, Lena's upset about Remus," Marlene said.
"How do you know she's upset with him?" James asked.
"Because I'm dating her best friend and roommate and Ava tells me everything."
"Okay, so why's she upset with Remus?" James asked, desperate to get to the root of the problem and make his friend happy again.
"Ava doesn't know so I don't know," Marlene shrugged.
"Well, how long has Lena been avoiding Remus?" Lily cut in.
"Since Monday," Marlene said.
James counted in his head. "Okay, that's when Remus gave Lena this present he had gotten for her."
"A pen, yeah?" Marlene asked.
"Yeah," James confirmed.
"Oh shit," Lily said quietly. "I think I know what happened."
"Tell us then… please," James said.
"You guys keep talking," Marlene said as she got up. "I'm supposed to meet Ava in," Marlene paused to look at her watch, "three minutes ago."
Marlene walked away swiftly and Lily returned her attention back to James.
"So, about a week ago I ran into Lena and I mentioned that I saw you and Remus at Scrivenshaft's."
Lily paused, expecting James to make an immature comment about how she talks about him. It never came though.
"Anyways, I mentioned that Remus was buying a pen for a girl he likes."
"But everything should be good then. Why would she be avoiding him if she knows he likes her back?
"How do you know Lena likes him back?"
"It's painfully obvious. She's always blushing around him and she smiles around him more than she does with anybody else. And she gets jealous, too. It's been like this for a while now."
"If it's so obvious, why don't Remus, or Peter, know about Lena's crush? I mean, Peter's relatively observant and Remus is brilliant."
"Peter only sees Lena as his little sister and Lena isn't exactly going to admit to Peter that she's fancied his best friend for years. And, Remus…" James' voice drifted off. "Remus has low self-esteem. He would never think the girl he likes would like him back."
Lily's heart broke for Remus and she nodded. "Well, I do agree that Lena likes Remus. That was very evident based on how much she freaked out when I mentioned Remus fancying a girl."
"Okay…"
"And I wanted to calm her down, so I told her that Remus probably only likes the girl as a friend and said something like 'guys don't give girls that they fancy pens as gifts.' …And then Remus gave her a pen."
"Well this explains a lot," James said, surprising Lily with his insightfulness. "Lena feels rejected without even being formally rejected. And because of that, she's probably trying to get over Remus by being apart from him. But because of that, Remus thinks Lena rejected him."
"I feel so terrible," Lily cried. "If I hadn't said anything, this wouldn't be happening and they'd probably be together.
James squeezed her hand comfortingly. "It's not your fault, Lily. You were just trying to help and comfort Lena. And you didn't know that Lena was the crush Remus was talking about at Scrivenshaft's. And even if you hadn't said anything, they probably wouldn't be together. They're both a bit too afraid to admit their feelings."
"Thanks, Lily. This has been quite helpful," James said as he stood up from his seat.
"Where are you going?" she asked curiously.
"I've got to go tell Sirius about this and then figure out how to fix the problem."
"Good luck."
James grinned at her.
Lily hated to admit that he had a brilliant smile.